Venus Square Pluto transformation

Hello! I've been a person reading threads for awhile now but finally decided to post something to discuss because I feel very helpless in this area of my life.

10 months ago I started dating a girl who was into astrology, so I got accustomed to knowing Sun, Moon, Venus signs ect but never really dug deeper until recently following our break up. Since the breakup (when I say break up I meant cutting ties finally, because we almost broke up 4 times within those 10 months and actually concrete broke up 3 times. Very toxic and very codependent relationship, but yet in the midst of it I was consumed and tried to make excuses as to why we will work out.)

Something happened in me right after the break up that inspired me to dig deeper into astrology and even crystals, and what came up really freaked me out in terms of relationships.

I found out that not only does my Venus square Pluto in the 8th house, but her Venus opposites Pluto. As I began reading more and more on the synastry of Venus-Pluto aspects, the more I related and the more I became scared because I feel doomed in the area of relationships. The relationship I had before this past 10 month one, was to a drug addict. And the love before that one was unrequited for 3 years. I am understanding now that I should look to my pluto aspect for a sense of transformation, but there's this fear that I won't discover how to change. I don't want love to hurt but I am consciously and unconsciously choosing people bad for me. I run from one love interest to another seeking an all consuming love and will play any technique in the book to hold it. And I guess this is the first time I am acknowledging my sinister side to love and relationships. So I'm very grateful astrology has opened up my eyes, but I don't know what to do with the information.

Here is my chart:



I genuinely want to have healthy relationships but feel eternally doomed. Thank you guys so much

Blessings

hey Pandamore, I also have pluto square venus, what I've learnt from this aspect is that profound transformations can occur through intimate relationships. intense and disrupting relationships like the ones you described can also trigger growth and not only pain. perhaps the turmoil of these relationships are trying to teach you something about yourself too. or you needed to experience these relationships to learn what serves you and what does not. pluto square venus has a disruptive vibe (from a personal perspective). but it can also be very transformative. it doesn't mean you will always invest and attract overwhelming relationships. it can be a volatile aspect but obstacles are also constructive. it can teach you a lot about yourself (and transform yourself!) through intimate relationships. keep in mind that sometimes we chose the "wrong" people because it's easier to focus on their issues as an excuse to neglect ourselves. you have a caring moon in the 5th house : ) with a neptune opposition. maybe that's another clue.

you have a very prominent 7th house. sun chiron north node even mercury. perhaps your saturn in the 1st house and its oppositions to the 7th house is generating some sort of insecurity, regarding the nature of your relationships and also affecting your confidence or self esteem. have you read about saturn in the 1st house? have you analyze its oppositions? if you learn to be gentle with yourself and trust yourself more i'm sure your 7th house will blossom. if we are aware of our patterns the journey will be easier, even if it's bumpy sometimes. be gentle. hope it helped!

Synastry is much more than any one placement.

If HER Venus opposed your Pluto then her Venus squared your Venus. So it formed a t-square with your Venus and Pluto.

You can avoid these issues if you do the synastry correctly BEFORE you get emotionally involved.
And your Pluto is really considered 9th house.However, it does rule your 8th so you want to stay away from women with early mutable placements. They will form some sort of negative pattern with Pluto and Venus in your chart.

Your Moon squares your Sun and the Moon opposes your Neptune. Some would say that because the Moon squares the Sun and opposes Neptune ...that the SUN also squares Neptune....that is stretching it...but....it will act this way during transits...or if another person's planet is closer to the Neptune (and makes a square to your Sun).
So you also want to stay away from women whose personal planets fall between your Neptune and Sun...close to either one...because that would make the Neptune-Sun square "real."...or active.

the best thing is to learn synastry the legitimate way...because you are worried about these issues.
LIN
PS: you also have Saturn opp Sun in 7th. And any time Saturn connects with the 7th it means some sort of restriction or control issue. The way Saturn is controlling has to be ascertained by other placements'
And control isn't always bad....unless you don't know it exists...if you're not conscious of it.
Then Saturn is controlling you and your partnership choices without your knowledge.

PPS: IF you post HEr chart then I could do a synastry and will tell you which connections are the most positive and the most negative.
IF you post the date (approx) of the breakup I can connect those transits with the natal connections to see what touched off the main issue (re the breakup)

I added some info to my post above,
LIN
PS: you know your Moon is in your 5th house of "drama" so.....you are drawn to relationships where drama will occur.
this usually mirrors some behaviors in your home as a child.
So don't torture yourself. Become "conscious" - which means knowing the difference between a drama driven attraction and a true love and cherishing attraction.

It requires that you be really honest with yourself. this is very hard. Most of us don't like to do this.

Also: you have to be objective enough to be able to "read" the other person's true feelings....you have Neptune trine Merc on your 7th house. You tend to project what YOU want and what you feel onto the other person and then you convince yourself the other person feels the same way. This is nice until you find that you have "created" something in your own mind that doesn't really exist!

Along with Venus-Pluto, you also have Venus-Saturn and Venus-Uranus. Venus Saturn is lacking self love, Venus Uranus is wanting unconventional love. Seeking different backgrounds (race or socioeconomic status), or large age differences may help. These aspects are not bad in the worldly sense. I have these aspects and I either avoid relationships or attract bad relationships. They're not easy to live with. Investing your energy on other matters besides personal relationships helps.