Hi Julia,
Thank you so much again for sharing your thoughts. They have very valuable insight or perpectives again.
Regarding the self-esteem issue, which is important to me, you are right, it's more about lessening the negative effect of self-critic, and counteracting self-judgment, self-loathing, self-hatred.
Since you seem to be interested in the subject, I dare sharing more, and hope you find it intersting.
There is a wonderful meditator and acadmic scholar around, Kristin Neff, PhD who also points to some of what you are saying (she has a wonderful website I would recommend, and nice TEDx talk too). She says like you, that rising self-esteem to get a positive image for kids and students with stuff like 'I am important, I am special, I am above average' can indeed have the wrong effect of making people mean, self-focused and entitled, as happened with the self-esteem movement of 1970s, 1980s and even 1990s in schools and therapies. This backfired, she says, like you.
Now to counteract the inner critic and self-judgement, she is advocating self-love as being not so much about "judging oneself positively", but rather “relating to oneself kindly" –it’s about compassion. The question we much ask is: do I relate to myself kindly or not?
For that, among other things, developing mindfulness is extremely useful, because the unconscious mind --the one carrying the deep wounds-- is often driving the bus without our awareness...
With my Mars and Chiron in the 4th House, both receving (or sending) exact opposition to/from Pluto and Uranus, I know all this applies! How unkind I have been to myslef!
Neptune conj. As from the 12th, and Pluto sextile As could add self undoing!
May I disagree? Buddhist teachings (my favorite!) are far beyond survival. Meditators were concerned with their own mind, and going into very subtle stuff. Yet the traditional Buddhist teachings don't have any clues about self-hatred and low self-esteem, for reasons which are probably no the ones you point to. I believe the modern ways we are and have been raising babies has been very... well... unkind to them, precisely. Most of my US friends were not breastfed at all because "it's dirty". Too many babies have to spend most of there early life alone, isolated, away from the body of their mothers, in a separate bed and in a separate room. A separate room! When you are 1 month or 1 year old, you are basically, biologically and neurologically a little mammal, not a thinker who can absorve abstract notions about individuation. Mammal, the words means it all, it's about mom. I have lived in several 'underdevelopped' countries where food is scarce and survival an everyday issue, and people don't have that deep undercurrent of negative self-judgment most modern westerns suffer from. They have a deep inner relaxation we don't have. Modern brain science elucidates it very well. Our primitive, unconscious mind we have to live with all our life long is based on brain wiring that occurs in the first year of development.
Simple !
I have no idea how this translates astrologogically beyong my own chart!
But I do see it there, with the 4th house and the Saturn square. Also the Gemini moon trine Uranus does not make her the most tender mammal
I am still on a Mercurial track (intellect, head energy), because of ancient momentum, but really, my heart is no more there and I can't put myself to that work --subtly resisting, or too exhausted. I do have the good reputation of providing that sort of service --which drains me. The thing is, Mercury seems to be a heavy planet in my chart, ruling MC and Moon (Sun as well by triplicity) and being there in H3 with H3 Sun. I wish i could use the Neptunian and Pisces energy which I have in a very constructive way , not just day dreaming or being hypersentitive and spiritual, but something, well Saturnian! Concrete, manifest, tangible, solid.
Ha, the mystery thickens. I am not young anymore!
That makes sense. But you can see how extremely basic and rudimentary my graphic tool is. I am on a laptop using its buildin platform "mouse" -no graphist do that, it's very gross. You think it's good enough?
I think you are right!
But I know no other way it seems...
I am mainly aware that Chiron is about healing hidden wounds --return or not return. I am very much into healing my wounds these days (2 years). To remain with this vocational astrology theme and thread, I suppose my current confusion and wonder about my own vocation and career can only gain clarity with more healing done. Other than that, I have not being exploring what specificcally the Chiron return is about. I suppose I am doing the right thing. Anything I should pay special attention, which i missed?
Thank you so much again for sharing your thoughts. They have very valuable insight or perpectives again.
Regarding the self-esteem issue, which is important to me, you are right, it's more about lessening the negative effect of self-critic, and counteracting self-judgment, self-loathing, self-hatred.
Since you seem to be interested in the subject, I dare sharing more, and hope you find it intersting.
There is a wonderful meditator and acadmic scholar around, Kristin Neff, PhD who also points to some of what you are saying (she has a wonderful website I would recommend, and nice TEDx talk too). She says like you, that rising self-esteem to get a positive image for kids and students with stuff like 'I am important, I am special, I am above average' can indeed have the wrong effect of making people mean, self-focused and entitled, as happened with the self-esteem movement of 1970s, 1980s and even 1990s in schools and therapies. This backfired, she says, like you.
Now to counteract the inner critic and self-judgement, she is advocating self-love as being not so much about "judging oneself positively", but rather “relating to oneself kindly" –it’s about compassion. The question we much ask is: do I relate to myself kindly or not?
For that, among other things, developing mindfulness is extremely useful, because the unconscious mind --the one carrying the deep wounds-- is often driving the bus without our awareness...
With my Mars and Chiron in the 4th House, both receving (or sending) exact opposition to/from Pluto and Uranus, I know all this applies! How unkind I have been to myslef!
Neptune conj. As from the 12th, and Pluto sextile As could add self undoing!
May I disagree? Buddhist teachings (my favorite!) are far beyond survival. Meditators were concerned with their own mind, and going into very subtle stuff. Yet the traditional Buddhist teachings don't have any clues about self-hatred and low self-esteem, for reasons which are probably no the ones you point to. I believe the modern ways we are and have been raising babies has been very... well... unkind to them, precisely. Most of my US friends were not breastfed at all because "it's dirty". Too many babies have to spend most of there early life alone, isolated, away from the body of their mothers, in a separate bed and in a separate room. A separate room! When you are 1 month or 1 year old, you are basically, biologically and neurologically a little mammal, not a thinker who can absorve abstract notions about individuation. Mammal, the words means it all, it's about mom. I have lived in several 'underdevelopped' countries where food is scarce and survival an everyday issue, and people don't have that deep undercurrent of negative self-judgment most modern westerns suffer from. They have a deep inner relaxation we don't have. Modern brain science elucidates it very well. Our primitive, unconscious mind we have to live with all our life long is based on brain wiring that occurs in the first year of development.
Simple !
I have no idea how this translates astrologogically beyong my own chart!
But I do see it there, with the 4th house and the Saturn square. Also the Gemini moon trine Uranus does not make her the most tender mammal For now rather inexistant art projects, unless it's all about my self as a self-creation. Otherwise, there's mainly a lot of mystery ahead!
I am still on a Mercurial track (intellect, head energy), because of ancient momentum, but really, my heart is no more there and I can't put myself to that work --subtly resisting, or too exhausted. I do have the good reputation of providing that sort of service --which drains me. The thing is, Mercury seems to be a heavy planet in my chart, ruling MC and Moon (Sun as well by triplicity) and being there in H3 with H3 Sun. I wish i could use the Neptunian and Pisces energy which I have in a very constructive way , not just day dreaming or being hypersentitive and spiritual, but something, well Saturnian! Concrete, manifest, tangible, solid.
Ha, the mystery thickens. I am not young anymore!
That makes sense. But you can see how extremely basic and rudimentary my graphic tool is. I am on a laptop using its buildin platform "mouse" -no graphist do that, it's very gross. You think it's good enough?
I think you are right!
But I know no other way it seems...
I am mainly aware that Chiron is about healing hidden wounds --return or not return. I am very much into healing my wounds these days (2 years). To remain with this vocational astrology theme and thread, I suppose my current confusion and wonder about my own vocation and career can only gain clarity with more healing done. Other than that, I have not being exploring what specificcally the Chiron return is about. I suppose I am doing the right thing. Anything I should pay special attention, which i missed?
Any inner chatter including daydreaming about the most pleasurable things! The monkey mind is basically our usual ordinary mind whenever we are not perfectly focused or.... sleepy 
. It's a huge monkey all over! However... it does not really include deep unconscious thougths, which sometimes are also inner critics. Hidding deep, coming from very early life experiences. These require refined tracking.
wink: I just noticed this is one of you cups of tea!!!)
He does not promote being too much crazy, when you know how to use his grounding energy.
!
) when this opposition is well handled and mastered. Mars-Pluto, by the way are the two co-rulers of my Scorpio ASc. So one would expect a very meaningful vocation, personnaly.
. I have shared my puzzled thoughts and life insignts about it here.