Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Abby83

Well-known member
oh, oh, oh... this is right on the money for me at least. I just have pluto in the fourth, but I will have to consider it more. I also have jupiter in aries in my tenth and I believe it is part of a yod or whatever that's called where it aspects four different planets :)

My mom is what I think of as a narcissist and I always thought that my mom is represented by saturn conjuncting my moon in my first house. I know that saturn is supposed to represent men, but for me, that's kinda how I have felt impacted by my mom in my life.

Also, I would think it's important to notice any major transits like a saturn or pluto transit in certain houses or with certain personal planets.. to note when a person might be attracting certain types

I too find ppl represented by planets in my natal 1st house to be narcissists.
 

venusarising

Well-known member
I too find ppl represented by planets in my natal 1st house to be narcissists.


That's interesting, and I will just say one thing since you validated that first house/planet narc connection, pluto is transiting my 7th house and is currently opposing my saturn and soon my moon in my first house. My relationship with my mom is definitely changing... knock on wood, I don't want to speak to soon about it or get ahead of myself, but the power dynamics definitely feel as if they are shifting between my mom and myself.
 

AppLeo

Well-known member
I can't remember if I said this before, but I think what really makes someone susceptible to a narcissistic relationship is having prominent Neptune, Pisces, Libra, Venus, and 7th house placements. Especially if these placements are negative.

Neptune square or opposite Venus is like the biggest indicator for someone falling into a narcissistic relationship, hands down. They'll buy into the narcissists perfect facade and display. The narcissist in the beginning of the relationship is often described as being too good to be true. Of course though, the venus-neptune person actually believes that no relationship can be too good to be true. They're easily deceived and manipulated because they cling so strongly to the romance and fictional fantasies that they dream about.

Neptune-venus people have very fragile self-esteems. They search for this divine love because they don't have any good self-esteem. A healthy person with a strong sense of self can see the ugly parts of who they are and be okay. And because of that fact, they aren't easily manipulated or swayed by other people. People with no self-esteem are easily hurt and feel victimized (neptune is a victim planet and venus is our self esteem) and so narcissists can easily pick these people up because they are so hungry for love. They can't find real love (because neptune isn't real; it's fake and vague), but narcissists can provide all the fake love possible.

If they ever see something unpleasant or negative they simply ignore it or don't register it because it's too difficult to feel. These people can't feel displeasure. They don't understand that real love takes work and that it's normal for people to fight and disagree and that the person you thought was the one wasn't the person at all. These people will continue to date and attract narcissistic people despite all of the red flags that they have seen.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
I can't remember if I said this before, but I think what really makes someone susceptible to a narcissistic relationship is having prominent Neptune, Pisces, Libra, Venus, and 7th house placements. Especially if these placements are negative.

Neptune square or opposite Venus is like the biggest indicator for someone falling into a narcissistic relationship, hands down. They'll buy into the narcissists perfect facade and display. The narcissist in the beginning of the relationship is often described as being too good to be true. Of course though, the venus-neptune person actually believes that no relationship can be too good to be true. They're easily deceived and manipulated because they cling so strongly to the romance and fictional fantasies that they dream about.

Neptune-venus people have very fragile self-esteems. They search for this divine love because they don't have any good self-esteem. A healthy person with a strong sense of self can see the ugly parts of who they are and be okay. And because of that fact, they aren't easily manipulated or swayed by other people. People with no self-esteem are easily hurt and feel victimized (neptune is a victim planet and venus is our self esteem) and so narcissists can easily pick these people up because they are so hungry for love. They can't find real love (because neptune isn't real; it's fake and vague), but narcissists can provide all the fake love possible.

If they ever see something unpleasant or negative they simply ignore it or don't register it because it's too difficult to feel. These people can't feel displeasure. They don't understand that real love takes work and that it's normal for people to fight and disagree and that the person you thought was the one wasn't the person at all. These people will continue to date and attract narcissistic people despite all of the red flags that they have seen.

Ahaha oh dear. I have venus trine Neptune and you are 100% right. I see the 'potential' and best of what a lover can be or what he appears to be but yes it is 99 times out of 100 a facade. Idealised for sure.

It is clear to me that a connection of Neptune, pisces, 12th house, with aries, 1st house, mars shows attracting narcs.
 

AppLeo

Well-known member
Ahaha oh dear. I have venus trine Neptune and you are 100% right. I see the 'potential' and best of what a lover can be or what he appears to be but yes it is 99 times out of 100 a facade. Idealised for sure.

It is clear to me that a connection of Neptune, pisces, 12th house, with aries, 1st house, mars shows attracting narcs.

Yeah totally, but Aries, 1st house, and Mars??? Maybe weak placements involving Aries, the 1st house, and Mars.

You could probably throw Pluto into the mix as well. If you're obsessive and need to maintain that control in a relationship you're either a narcissist or need a narcissist to feel that control. Narcissists can indulge the obsession that you have with them.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
Yeah totally, but Aries, 1st house, and Mars??? Maybe weak placements involving Aries, the 1st house, and Mars.

You could probably throw Pluto into the mix as well. If you're obsessive and need to maintain that control in a relationship you're either a narcissist or need a narcissist to feel that control. Narcissists can indulge the obsession that you have with them.

Im just referring to my chart and how there are common themes to what others are saying. Eg, my chart is 30% 12th house, 20% 11th house, 10% 2nd, and 30% 1st house. Let me just say that ALL of those ppl who are represented by the 11th and 12th planets attract and cant stand narcs. Also shown in the chart by their aspect to the planets in 1st. Now of course some ppl are worse than others. I would say my MIL takes the cake. She is Uranus in my 1st house square mars and venus (my twins), and my twins cant stand her. Im mars as well and I cant stand her. My husband is the venus, whilst he obeys her he doesn't like what she does. My friends are mercury in libra in 11th and they cant stand her either for her narcissism. Oh and Uranus is my father and it is also with the moon (other inlaws) as well. My judgement from this experience is that 11th housy and 12th housy ppl, although they attract narcs, cant stand them at all.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
I am a magnet for attracting narcissists. And no, I am not being exaggerated.

I will not specify who they are, as I have not yet healed my wounds, but there are people in my family who are wicked narcissists.

It is incredible that, throughout my life, I have always attracted people who are externally cute and delicate, but internally cruel and bad.

My former teacher was a cruel narcissist, she humiliated me every day and even encouraged students to do things with me. What surprised me the most was that the students always talked about how much they liked her, and I couldn't understand why: "Don't you see that she is a demon?" I still remember his critical eye, it was something surreal. Since I was 3 or 4 years old, I remember that I had a lot of bad teachers. And it lasted until my 15 or 16 years.

My ex-best friend, manipulated everyone in my life to turn against me, even spread rumors that I was drugged, when I realized, he had already spread several rumors about me. I hate to remember that my colleagues ignored me, all at the request of someone else.

I have many, many stories of narcissists. The worst thing is that, in all these stories, I was called "crazy" "problematic", when, in reality, the crazy person in the story was not me. What a hate.

Nowadays I am extremely cautious with all my friendships, when I feel that someone is malicious or that, in the future it will break my trust, I disappear from that person's life. If someone dares to do something bad to me, be prepared, I will pay double and only stop if you try to commit suicide or are experiencing post-traumatic stress. 8 or 80, here is everything at the extreme. I realized that having a passive attitude and sacrificing myself to bad people (I've done this my whole life) doesn't help, so I make them taste their own poison, but in my own way. I have nothing to lose, literally nothing to lose.

I'm not writing this out of sympathy. But it is frightening to attract evil from an early age.

supposed aspects that I believe are related, and I have them on my birth chart:

Pluto and Saturn in square to the ascendent

Stellium in 12th in aquarius

Pluto in 10th

See. Another example of lots of planets in the 12th house. The 12th house shows a lot of what's hidden, making it hard to be assertive or know where you stand. There's also a lot of sneaky hidden enemies and therefore easy to get abused. And also 12th house is the house of prisons and institutions which are places that abusers run cos the ppl cant escape so they afre easy targets.
 

Ness22

Well-known member
This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.

Omg this is so true. I've had this experience a lot of times in my life, where I've attracted selfish, manipulative and cruel people as friends who betrayed me or were really abrasive and toxic. Had them in my family too. It's just something that's happened so much, that I started to question if there's something really wrong with me (I'm a triple pisces with pisces sun/cancer moon/virgo rising). But I've figured out it has a lot to do with my weak boundaries and childhood wounds. I'm quite sensitive inside too and I like connections and being with people(the ones I click with), so this has all been a lot to deal with.

And yeah, an ex colleague of mine.. He showed a lot of traits of NPD. He was a total womanizer and showed interest in me too and when I didn't care after his initial flirtations, he would start to be mean towards me, give backhanded compliments, try to lower my self esteem and just low key bullying.. And I blocked him. And then he tried to damage my friendships with my other colleagues and it actually worked and I ended up looking like the crazy one. It hurt all over again to lose people.
How is it that only some people get to see this nasty side of them while others don't. How can they be so blind to it..
I don't know anymore. It's just cruel for someone to be THAT selfish and go around damaging other people's lives because of their own issues.
 

Ness22

Well-known member
This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.

And in my opinion, it doesn't necessarily have to be the victim types.
Somebody who is highly perceptive, empathetic or intuitive will see through it as opposed to somebody who isn't. And the ones who aren't highly intuitive, they'll never really have a point of view on the narcissist, cos they'll never have known that side of them at all.
 

Zeuses

Well-known member
Omg this is so true. I've had this experience a lot of times in my life, where I've attracted selfish, manipulative and cruel people as friends who betrayed me or were really abrasive and toxic. Had them in my family too. It's just something that's happened so much, that I started to question if there's something really wrong with me (I'm a triple pisces with pisces sun/cancer moon/virgo rising). But I've figured out it has a lot to do with my weak boundaries and childhood wounds. I'm quite sensitive inside too and I like connections and being with people(the ones I click with), so this has all been a lot to deal with.

And yeah, an ex colleague of mine.. He showed a lot of traits of NPD. He was a total womanizer and showed interest in me too and when I didn't care after his initial flirtations, he would start to be mean towards me, give backhanded compliments, try to lower my self esteem and just low key bullying.. And I blocked him. And then he tried to damage my friendships with my other colleagues and it actually worked and I ended up looking like the crazy one. It hurt all over again to lose people.
How is it that only some people get to see this nasty side of them while others don't. How can they be so blind to it..
I don't know anymore. It's just cruel for someone to be THAT selfish and go around damaging other people's lives because of their own issues.[/QUOTE

I have had pretty much the same experiences as you with a few people both male and female in different environments under Pluto square sun transits and Neptune transiting 7th house opposing Pluto. The thing with people like this is rejection. If they perceive you to have rejected them or even considering rejecting them (even when their behaviour left you know other choice) they will do anything to ruin you. Basically, often their self esteem is on the floor so they hide it with false confidence and a 'control at all cost' attitude because they can't control themselves. I had two females at the same time do this to me. When I tried to get away from them They used to turn up everywhere I went, try to befriend anybody new that I met and I even saw one in the canteen where I worked even though they didn't work there. They spread untrue gossip about me and even told untruths to an ex partner, leaving out details of their own debauched lifestyles. You are right that most people don't see them for who they really are, it is just the unlucky few who do usually because you have walked away from them so their terror of rejection and lost control becomes a self fulfilling prophecy but they don't see it that way they just want to ruin you because its anybody's fault except theirs. They will attempt to treat you in a way that would hurt them if someone treated them the same way (because they can't see outside of themselves) as their self esteem is a mess they will try to pull yours down by negative comments about your physical looks and mental capacity and spread malicious rumours to isolate you. All the things they would dread themselves, but dont realise that you are a different person so may well react differently than they would. So if you are unfortunate to meet any in the future, remember to walk away immediately and know that they are projecting their inadequacies onto you. I think although the natal chart may suggest a propensity to attract people like that eg an empathic and none judgemental nature or not fitting into a box etc I think these situations tend to arise under certain transits. Good luck in never meeting another one.
 
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Aniko

Well-known member
My ex-husband is extremely narcissist but I want to point that neither of my parents are narcissist. I am more of an empath than a narcissist. However my mother has a dependency personality disorder which of course is problematic when raising children.

In my chart I have Neptune in my 1st house and Venus squares Neptune. I have a tendency to be in love with love and idealizing my partners, not seeing them for who they truly are. This is a huge problem but I am glad that I am aware of it now so that I can try to work with myself.

I have 3 planets in 8th house.
My 12th house is empty(!)
No planets in 4th or 7th house.
Pluto is in my 10th house it is sextile with Neptune.

Hope this can help.
 
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