my first love is coming back to me now, what should i do?

Hi..!!

My first love of teenage years is coming back to me now with a marriage proposal...

we're in a relationship for 7 years from age 14 to 21..and then she turned her back on me... Now she wants me to marry her...

i dont know what to do please advise..

I think this should be a horary rather than a synastry reading.

yes, instead of horary, i could do Iching...

but i was hoping if someone could find aspects regarding synastry and for long term compatability as well..i really dont know if she likes me or is just looking for an escape goat

Oh Saree, I had a very, very long answer here and I dont know WHAT I did, but all of a sudden I was in Yahoo mail!!!! I am sooooo angry!!
All I want to tell you is that it does not look good at all. I had written every detail down, I just dont feel like going over it again, sorry. Moons are incompatible, Ascendants are incompatible, Suns are incompatible and the worst of all is that her Moon squares your Moon, the ruler of her Moon, Saturn is opposing your Moon and her Sun squares your Venus. There is not even a Moon-Jupiter or a Moon-Venus aspect (maybe her Moon trines your Venus but I cannot see the degrees in this chart, very difficult to assess.) Her Moon and your Venus are compatible, and both your Venusses also are in compatible signs, but that is about it. She has real issues I should add. She will find it very difficult to open up emotionally. Moon in Capricorn square her Saturn. Saturn and Asc. square Venus (T-square), really difficult to have in a chart, especially for a woman and even though she has the ruler of her Ascendant in Cancer, showing some degree of caring and nurturing, the square to Saturn and the Ascendant shows that she does not really like that sort of thing. Also ruler of 7 is in her 1st: she does not really need other people.(ruler 1 in 7 shows the opposite). Her Libra Ascendant is an indication that she likes one to one relationships, but somehow, she does not know how to handle relationships. Mars conjunct Jupiter shows more than one relationship/marriage. The rulers of her 2nd house, Pluto and Mars are both in her 1st house. Her personality is strongly depending on what she possesses. She has a tendency to show off her assets (if she has them). She can be possessive and difficult, moody.
I dont know, you know her better after 7 years, but my feeling is that this is not going to be good for you. You are quite dominant too with your Moon in Aries and the ruler Mars in Leo which could clash with her Pluto-Mars in her first house. I think she is ambitious and she could be interested in a good party to marry if you know what I mean. You have the ruler of the 2nd in Taurus, very dignified so you could be well off financially.Does Venus trine your Ascendant by any chance? Again, I cannot see the degrees.
What does the I-Ching tell you? OK Saree, I must go now. Let me know what you think of this. Cheers, Starlink

hi saree,
the composite chart has a mercury opposed to uranus which can show arguements leading to a breakup,but with uranus also sextile to mars and jupiter,the disruptive nature of uranus is much less,actually this positions gives a excitement and interest to the relationship.the venus/sun midpoint is square to the moon so there is a strong affection in this relationship,the moon indicationg that she does love you.with saturn conjunct jupiter and juno,you have intrerest in a longterm relationship with her and always have.the venus/mars midpoint is sextile to saturn and juno,this indciates that your love of her is steady.
the uncertainties are the moon/sun midpoint opposed to pluto.this can show that there are unconscious or hidden issues in this relationship.the moon/uranus midpoint is square to chiron,indiocating that she can be unpredictable and a times a self serving,critical ,cynical "witch".also with neptune square the ascendant,there is a possibility of deceptions in the relationship though if you two have a strong spiritual nature then this is not a problem.
it seems that the question is if you want to be married.with mars square to uranus in your natal chart,you are a very independent person.you also have a sun opposed to saturn which shows a need for security so you may be caught between these two needs,security vs independence.she has a venus square saturn in her natal chart showing a devoted emotional nature and one that needs security.
did she leave you intially because you were acting like you wanted more freedom?with a chiron/venus conjunction in your natal chart ,you can be a bit insensitive to those around you.it seems that if you will make a sincere committment then this marriage could work out.
what did the ching say?
rahu
rahu

Hi Rahu, I feel compelled to say a few things here.
Who wants to get married to a :

self serving,critical ,cynical "witch".

Click to expand...

On top of that I myself also saw:

She can be possessive and difficult, moody.

Click to expand...

Moons are incompatible, Ascendants are incompatible, Suns are incompatible and the worst of all is that her Moon squares his Moon, the ruler of her Moon, Saturn, is opposing his Moon and her Sun squares his Venus.

Click to expand...

. Maybe the Sun-Venus square shows attraction, sure,and also the Sun trine Moon, by far the best aspect, otherwise they would not have had a relationship for 7 years, but dont forget, they were both teenagers, not mature people and it was "first love", always romantisized.Steven Arroyo writes in his book "Relationships and lifecycles" that a Saturn-Moon, Sun, Ascendant aspect show some kind of security thing that you have with the other person. That person who's Saturn hits your Moon (in this case her Saturn) has something over you. In some cases they have you under their thump!.Moon in Capricorn is always security oriented. Arroyo writes that no matter how good a synastry looks, if Moons are incompatible, sooner or later you get into trouble. (I saw it in my own life, all aspects wonderful, just the Moons not and I never felt "at home or at ease" with him, even though the marriage lasted 34 years. IT was always a strain on my emotions. Finally (took long with Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon) I could not stand it anymore and we divorced.
Does she love him? I think she is attracted to him, but love? I think she wants to marry him for security reasons. Libra is quite calculating when it comes to commodities and luxurious things. Midpoints are important, sure, but the main aspects I think, speak for themselves. Up to Saree if he wants to get into this or not I suppose. Star.

You two are really, really compatible..don't worry about the little things..don't sweat 'em. Just know that you two are very compatible astrologically, but did you really need to know that seeing as how you had a relationship for 7 yrs?

I think the Mercury RX has brought her back, Merc retrograde is characteristic of people coming back into your life...

Catatonia, I would love to see why you think they are compatible. Even the Mercuries are in incompatible signs, Pisces and Leo. Maybe as friends with his Jupiter, ruler of his Sun in her 11th house. But his Saturn in her 12th and his Venus in her 8th house, I frankly do not like so much. Lots of deep personal problems to resolve here and if not resolved, then it will be acted out in the partnership. I think the negative aspects outdo the good one's here.
Like I said, they were very young , still in school (puppy love)and at that age it does not really matter if you are compatible or not, you just are too excited having a boy or girlfriend. You dont even think (like an adult would) about a relationship.
Star.

starlink said:

Catatonia, I would love to see why you think they are compatible. Even the Mercuries are in incompatible signs, Pisces and Leo. Maybe as friends with his Jupiter, ruler of his Sun in her 11th house. But his Saturn in her 12th and his Venus in her 8th house, I frankly do not like so much. Lots of deep personal problems to resolve here and if not resolved, then it will be acted out in the partnership. I think the negative aspects outdo the good one's here.
Like I said, they were very young , still in school (puppy love)and at that age it does not really matter if you are compatible or not, you just are too excited having a boy or girlfriend. You dont even think (like an adult would) about a relationship.
Star.

Click to expand...

They grew up together. You ARE an adult at 21. Secondly, your method to "compatibility" is very amateur. I suppose you can get a jist of certain compatibility factors by comparing Suns, Moons, Mercurys, etc.., but that's not always the case.

They both have several planets in the 1st house -- mutual Saturn, and she has Pluto, Mars, and Jupiter.

Secondly, he has his Moon in her 7th+conj her Descendant. THat's a BIG deal. Thirdly, Venus in 8th is dignified in Taurus, and it isn't that bad of a position. The 8th is a very financial house. Saturn's in its joy in the 12th because it's "hidden". Her fortune's right on his Sun, and his Juno is right on her Venus. The compatibility really isn't bad. Sometimes compatibility goes beyond astrology.

I'd advise to glance at the composite and the DAVISON especially, and how they both fit into the context of their charts separately. Along with this, the transits each was experiencing when they met.

Hi Catatonia, thanks for coming back on this one.

your method to "compatibility" is very amateur.

Click to expand...

I dont consider myself an amateur after 25 years of astrology and being certified by the FAS in London. I follow mostly the rules Stephen Arroyo described in his book: "Relationships and lifecycles" and indeed also the book from Ronald Davison, "Synastry", understanding human relations through Astrology and have helped many couples over the years with good results.
Some youngsters are more mature than others at 21.I know a woman who studies to become a teacher ,who still sucks her thumb believe it or not, and has NO idea what a relationship is all about. She has hanged around with this divorced man + child since she was 14, just for security's sake, father image problem and there are many others like her. Even Saree himself was puzzled by the fact that "all of a sudden" she comes back and not only that, she asks to marry him!! after they had split up for years (dont know how many). Sounds to me very strange and yes, immature even though she is an adult in years.
I dont know Catatonia, I hope you are right and they are made for one another, but I bet you that if they come together it wont be long before they will split up again, Juno and POF or not.
Davison writes that when the man's Saturn is in the 12th house of his female partner's horoscope, there may be some difficulties in the relationship and her Sun in his 12th, adversely aspected to his Venus could make it difficult for her to treat the relationship in a sufficiently objective way, because of her faculty of being able to make him subconsciously aware of his own psychological maladjustments. About the Moon in the 7th house,he indeed writes that it is frequently found in horoscopes of married couples, very true, but if the aspects to that Moon are adverse (and they are! his Moon is heavily afflicted by her Saturn, Pluto and Moon) then he will be particularly sensitive to being patronized, especially with his Mars situated in his own 12th house, square her Uranus conjunct his IC. She is very likely to upset him and the family with her Sun-Uranus square in fixed signs. So no matter how well they may get along otherwise, I really think that their lives will be full of crisis, especially painful for him with his Moon in his 8th house and sensitive Pisces Sun. Pisces on the cusp of his 7th house and Mercury retrograde conjunct it and opposed to his Jupiter (and maybe also his Mars? cant see this without degrees) also does give the possibility of more than one serious relationship or marriage. Ruler of his 7th, Neptune, squares his Saturn and her Part of Fortune. (her Neptune also squares her own POF). Many astrologers do not use the fixed stars like Juno and Vesta etc.. You do. Have you seen the Pluto-Saturn square Juno?(conj.Venus). I cannot see any degrees in this chart and have not run the charts myself, so maybe the square is too wide, but Venus-Pluto, Venus-Saturn, both difficult aspects, so that Juno of his is also not well aspected by her planets in 1st house. Indeed the Venusses sextile one another. Something should be pleasant in this chart for them to like one another and I'm sure they do. But he probably wants to know if he should marry her or not. He has doubts about her loving him, he knows her better than we do, so there must be a reason for his doubt. She already left him once and he probably is afraid she will eventually do it again and he does not want to take this risk. I find this situation risky.
This is really my honest opinion and sure, they can marry, but Saree was perplexed about her sudden "marriage move". I would have been if I were him. Lets see what he has to say about all our opinions here and if he recognizes some of what we have said. So far no reaction from his side.

Best regards,
Starlink

Hey. I'm really sorry for coming off so rude. I follow a different system of astrology, I'm not a moderner. I follow Hellenistic rules, use traditional rulers, and consider a lot of other points..

Mercury RX probably brought them back together so I assume they may not be together after it's over. I see that happen a lot during retrogrades.

If you're puzzled and you think she's messing with your emotions, think twice Saree..

Cat

No problem Cat. I am not easily offended. Everyone can make a slip of the tongue or pen once in a while, its really not dramatic! Ciao, Star.

Thanks guys..!!

During this time i couldnt get back to you all...But thanks i feel genuinely helped by your posts.

And i wasnt surprized to see polarized views about this issue...Whole of my Life is streched between two Opposing choices... Antares Conjunct saturn..found out through fixed star report and Reviewed my life to Realize this was 100% true.


I found out, She doesnt Like me much...and i dont blame her...We're so different...i am more of Eternal Wanderer...not Much concerned about dressing up...socializing...and having an IQ around 144 makes it impossible for me to feel comfortable making relationships in life and not feel disappointed... Never been challenged intellectually...or to be surprized by the intelligence of Women in my life.. (there have been 4 only in 14 years) i am 27 now...

After this Episode..I feel like...I have lost my Faith in Love, or people...or relationships...

I dont have the complete info but to me it seems she tried to deceieve me... But then i think she could be not aware of her own emotions...and may be because of her basic instincts of security might have realized that she wants this relationship...

But i feel Emotionally raped and humiliated, if this is true...

I read this poem, as i thought about the issue...
Time is Short by Rabindernath Tagore

You left me and went away,
I thought i should Moan and Grieve over my loss,
for time is short

Youth Vains Years after Years,
Spring days are fugitive,
Fragile flowers die for nothing.

Once a wise man said, Life is by the due Drop of a trembling leaf,
Should i negelect all this to Gaze after you,
who has turned her back on me
i would be foolish,
for time is short.

Therefore, come to me my Rainy nights with patering feets, smile my golden autumn,
Come careless April scattering your kisses abroad,
and come You too my Lover,
We're mortals,

And it is wise to break your heart for the one who takes your heart away,

For time is short.

Hello Saree, thank you for giving us some update. I am sorry to hear that you feel the way you do now:

After this Episode..I feel like...I have lost my Faith in Love, or people...or relationships...

Click to expand...

Honestly Saree, this is not the way to go. I am sure you will find love, real love, some day. You are still very young. Every experience we have, good or bad, are lessons we learn in this life. What helps me always is my believe in re-incarnation. I have always believed that, if you meet a person in this life, and after a couple of years, sometimes painful years, sometime good years, and then you loose them, either through death or otherwise, that this person has been here for you in order to finish off something you had no time to do in a former life. We dont own other people, they are never ours for keeps. We can experience them, have fun with them and endure pain with them during the years they were in our lives. We have learned from them and through them. Nothing has been in vain, it was all for a reason.
Now, in any next relationship you will have in this life, you now can improve on things you think were the cause of the break-up with this girl. You will not make the same mistake again, or at least try not to.
So dont you give up on love and relationships. Look at all this from a different perspective, see the good that comes from ANY relationship and do not focus on the negative side of them. Like I mentioned in my post, your ex girlfriend does not need others for love, she needs them for security reasons (but might not know the difference like many of us). You do want a family with the ruler of your 7th house in your 4th and trine your Moon. You have Neptune as ruler of the 7th in Saggitarius where he is dignified. You look for a women who also likes adventures (Saggitarius) and who is intelligent and sensitive (Mercury conjunct 7th house cusp in Pisces) and a women who is very earthy, sensual, loyal and feminine (Venus in Taurus). I am sure you will find her some day. Broken hearts will mend and time will heal.

Best wishes,
Starlink

Saree, I decided to look at your chart for Marriage potential.
Carol Rushman has a system whereby she looks at how many aspects the Moon in a mans chart (Sun in a womans) makes before leaving it's sign. Only conjunctions, Sextiles ,square, oppositions and trines are valid. These aspects give a possibility for marriage. There will be a relationship when Moon makes one of these aspects with the Sun, but you are ultimately the one who decides to marry or not. The potential is indicated however.
So, in your case the Moon made the trine to Neptune, that is the first aspect and shows the relationship you had with this girl. It had the potential maybe, but does not end in marriage. Next one and last one will be a trine to Mars and the North Node which often shows a strong karmic tie, so there will be another possibility for marriage.

Your progressed Moon will make a semi-sextile to your Sun in about 4 month time and trine your North Node and inconjunct your Part of Fortune in your 2nd house. Maybe you could meet someone new.
Your progressed Mercury, ruler of your Ascendant has just entered a new sign at 0°36' Aries which could give your Mercury in Pisces way of being a more aggressive, initiative taking overtone. In two years your Solar Arc Venus will semi-sextile your natal Venus, also good for relationships.
Progressed Jupiter is approaching your North Node in about 5 month time as well. Jupiter is co-ruler of your 7th house dont forget! Nodes always play a strong role in relationships. I do see the momentarily problems you have because of transiting Saturn, ruler of your 5th of romance opposing your Mercury in the 7th house but transiting Jupiter is helping out and counterpalance this by transiting your 5th house and squaring your Mercury in January going on to conjunct your Neptune there and trining your Moon beginning of April next year at the same time that transiting Venus goes through your 5th and is exactly conjuncting your Neptune!! (31st March,that is also around 4 month!). And also worth mentioning is Solar Arc Saturn, ruler of 5, going to conjunct your Pluto, ruler of the 3rd of contracts and placed in the 2nd house (associated with love as well). I also read in one of my astrology books that if the ruler of the 7th makes an aspect with the ruler of the 3rd (of contracts) then the person is likely to get married in his life. So there you go! chin up! and good luck.

Starlink

Hey Starlink thanks alot friend... I am really surprized by your long posts...

I hastly wrote my reply earlier...that is the reason i couldnt explain properly what i meant.. it is perhaps Progressed Mercury in Aries that i feel i am independent of everything and everyone... and i placed so much importance of Finding a Masseha outside myself that happiness eluded me..[sun in seventh]... so perhaps it is time to graduate to spirituality... But deception in Love is a huge matter...it is bound to de-rail you for you faith in indomitable human spirit...

I know i would get married...perhaps soon 4 months you say.

you are right.. It is all for a reason.. as i posted this Rabindernath Tagore Poem "it is wise to break your heart for the one who takes your heart away"

we always talk about relationship going bad..but rarely do we look into developing ourselves to deserve better...

as you put it some people dont need love..or perhaps it is our Erroneous Linguistic abilities as species that we fail to translate our perceptions of situations and feelings appropriately...with limited vocabulary we have for perceptions... we are muddled in same unempowering choices...where we might have liberated ourselves...

we can do ganderous mathematical operations...but our lives seem to be caught up in not so elevated problems... which is disappointing..

i do feel genuinely helped by all of your guys posts for giving me alot of new ways to look at my situation...and i do feel empowered to make better choices for the future also

Regards,
sarEE

PS: All said and done i should introudce myself, I am an alternative healer, Reiki Master.. and working as a buisness Manager for a foriegn company.

Hi there Saree! Thank you for your long reply. Just for the record, 4 month could be a time of getting to know someone significant (to start of with) and maybe you decide the next day to marry her (that's up to you, ha ha!) but just know that beginning of March is looking promising. I know relationships can involve disappointment but I think everybody will encounter some sort of disappointment in his or her relationship with either friends, family, or partner. The important thing is how to deal with that and one of the things is really never to despair!! That's what got me in your post. I thought: "oh no, he cannot be serious!" And you are a healer, a Reiki Master no less. You of all people should find a way of healing yourself Saree. I know you can. Very interesting! Hope all will go well with you and I wish you lots of luck for the future. (let me know if indeed something positive will happen in your life OK?)
Cheers, Star.

Hi starlink!!


Sure thing would let you know...

I do understand myself that Decisions made within the intense Emotional Condition are Never Longer Lasting. Its my Nature to Merge with other people, spiritually, Humanely, Emotionally.

But i have read that in NeuroScience that if we are in bad mood, it takes away our faculity to Access Happy Emotional memories. Like a road sign of underconstruction makes it impossible to follow a previously Well troden path.

choices become limited in Emotional turmoil.

Thanks for reminding me to be brave and not to lose heart


My Love My heart, Let this time of Parting be sweet
Let it not be a death but completeness
Let your love melt into memory and your pain into songs
Let your flight through sky begin with unfolding of wings
Let your last touch of hands be gentle like the flower of the night
Stand still, o Beautiful love for a moment
and say your Last words in Silence

if we are in bad mood, it takes away our faculity to Access Happy Emotional memories.

Click to expand...

Very true, but then start reading once again this lovely poem! This is sooo beautiful and I think, the only way to find peace and closure (I know, because that is exactly what I did when leaving my ex husband. We are still friends and we still love each other as individuals.)

Thanks Catatonia ...