Hi Pan,
when the answers fall short to come within ourself, we turn around and search them elswere, but they often fail to please us as we make the questions more often out of our minds than out of our hearts. You can mourn over this relationship and condamn the faith that didnt live up to your expectations, but i would like to ask you,
why should you give it in at all to someone who excommunicated you and your love from his life so explicitly ? The sentence seems to me as the (all)most bussineslike cold shower to what once was a warm emotional relationship of two peolple who cared for eachother the most in this world. Rest asured baby that
he did cool off, and now is your turn to let off the steam scatter.
If i was you i wouldnt drop a tear for 'him' and 'it', but i'm not you and i cant judge the weight of your heart, your love or your soul . . i can only give you, what i hold is the most beneficial advice in my power to give.
Now giving a look on your charts i can see how is that he grow that much on you, he is quite charming, slender, freeminded and talkactive, with his talking afecting you
quite a bit (his Mercury on your AC) . . But he is and can be a troublemaker of his own, afected by and paying respect to some forces that quite overgrow only his persona by himself. He likes to play his 'big boys games' and therefor or from he is wery faithful to his 'big boys' clan. You'll exscuse me any any eventual lapsus, cose, as you didnt gave pretty much any informations i'm fishing on facts for what i can
I got a feeling that he's irish or something along those lines ? . . . . He has a quite powerfull Sun/Moon composition with an engaged North Node in the 12House Arie that pushes him to state and make himself acknowledged, no mather what(eventual) moral rule be at strike. I am still playing along his lines despite i would more gladly to have to concentrate on you, but it seems that your need to understand him is bigger than to understand yourself, so here we are.
Having a 7House Moon that is at the verge of the8th increases the charismatic qualities of it and thus loosing some ends in the process, but it basicly means he quite depends on close personal bonds to affirm his selfimage, they are very much a part of what from he constructs his own identity. Having the Moon conjoined Venus speaks about harmony and much diplomacy he strives thoward, in those relationships he holds important, we can allso call it a 'firm lovable grip' he exercises thoward those he loves. In therms of the ideal female image his subconscious hold, the feminine lover(Venus) and mother(Moon) archetype are merged meaning there is no much distinction here inbetween the archetype related kinds of affection that would please him mostly, he is, again in affection therms, a 'full service' guy, of that kind that would most likely enjoy very much to be eaven feed spoon-to-mouth by his lover.
Ok, let's see which buttons has he pushed in you. The most striking and traditionally beneficial aspect your synastry hold is your Moon conjunct to his Sun. I have said traditionally (female Moon/male Sun) becouse is the aspect that enables a male to hold the central position in the (earthly) female life, meaning that 'he' meets the end of wat 'she' holds to be purposefull, to have a purpose, that what can have a meaning, that
'the meaning' in life, in
her life. It basicly means it can make her whole world gravitate around im, as the traditional gender roles hold to be propper. You can call the Sun in someones chart that piece of Soul which God provided us with, and as the Sun, it shines and radiates - life. When someones Sun meet us at our most sensitive points, we find that one to be inspiring, benefitial, bringing hope, faith, and so on. But, the Sun is not the only factor in our charts, and the Soul and Love dosnt bind anything or anyone to itself blindly. Everything has it's rythm, cycle, space and time and astrology teaches about that.
I cant make you the whole analysis so i will stop somewhwere here, but before that we have an interesting situation with your Nodal axis, they are in opposition to eachother ! The North Node holds the direction in which we evolve in life, the South of that which have made us as we are, that what we have learned and asimilated from it so far, and you two have them diametrally conjoined. My interpretation would be that this was one pivotal relationship for you both, of that kind which made you on wery concrete, 2years long basis evaluate what you usually bring in your romantic, partner relationships,
what you want and need in them, and what you dont. I think it was karmic to that extent, in the
present time but not more than that. You had a chance to learn a great deal about your self each, in contrast to that what each of you are (not were, are) and the directions you each hold in life. Cose, your South Node had a chance to set a course for his North as his South set it for your North. Your being casted a light for his path as his for yours, that that you need to follow but is obvious, as your evolution paths point at diametrally opposite directions, you cant walk eachother to the future holding hand by hand, he lives his life, you live yours.
But what you can do is hold tight to that piece of puzzle you recognased in him and feel it's missing from your system and incorporate it through yourself, not through a partner ! You have to basicly use 'that something of him', tink you'll heart will know bether than me what, as a navigational tool ! And if he's smart enough, he is allready doing the same.
Wish you all the best and that your heart may be healed very soon, be blessed.
Studding charts of people with the same nodal configuration can help quite allot in broading your understanding . . two of them i know that share the same aspect with you are Jim Morrison and Lisa Gerrard.
