Will we enter a romantic relationship?

Hi, everyone.

This is my first post and my relationship with astrology is rather swallow so please be considerate

Horary question: Will we be together in a romantic/serious relationship?

So, I met this guy 3 months ago. We were dating for 1.5 months, we had a very intimate interaction, we felt so close. Our chemistry was amazing.

Then one day, while talking about a random thing the discussion went to whether we are in a relationship or not. He said that he came out of a very painful relationship a year ago and that he is not sure if he can carry the burden of a new one. He said also that for him it was very early to set this kind of "relationship" title as we had been only dating for 1.5 months.

I was pissed off and I told him that I wanted some time off. This time off was 1.5 months. He was in touch all this period with messages here and there but I was being distant and cold. But I was missing him, thinking of him and considering to give a chance or have a second discussion with him.

Then we had a discussion over texting and he said that he never meant that he doesn't want to be with me in an exclusive relationship but for him being with someone and giving exclusivity doesn't mean that we are in a relationship(why people make things so complicated-I don't understand).

Anyway, we met a few days ago and it was like only 1 day passed. There was passion, emotions, we both admitted how we missed each other and we just couldn't help ourselves unsticking from each other. Then he left for a business trip.

The thing is that I have the intuition that he is somehow sceptic about us but I have no idea why. I have the feeling that I probably hurt him with my behaviour on the other hand he wasn't either very helpful in creating a secure environment for me and making me feel comfortable.

I guess we have both have been a bit egocentric and probably we provoked feelings of insecurity and old wounds to each other.

Thats the background. Coming now to the horary question, I guess that my significator is the ruler of the 1st house. 1st house is in Taurus, so my significator is Venus. I have also as co-significator Moon.

Venus in this chart is located in my 6th house or, if I count from his 7th house, which is the 1st house for him, is in his 12th house. What does this indicate? That I hurt him and he sees me as an enemy? That he has some thoughts about me and us that I don't know? Or that I am hidden from his social circle and I am not his official girlfriend? (which is true as I have not met his friends yet and he has not met mine). Is there a possibility this Venus to be another person he is dating and he is hiding from me? Personally, I don't give much chances for Venus to be another woman, as Venus is my significator from my 1st house ruler.

Lets go to the 7th house that is his house. 7th house has in its cusp Scorpio and the ruler is Mars. Mars in this chart is located in my 10th house or his 4th house. What does this mean? It means that he is at his home, thinking/taking distance from the situation at the moment? Furthermore, Mars is in Aquarius where Venus is face and term. Is this a good thing? Not the best I guess anyway. But Mars will move in a few days(when he is coming back from his trip and we are supposed to meet) in Pisces where Venus is in exaltation. Does this mean that this will make him feel warmer about me and us and get over any anger or hurt feelings he had so far?

The 7th house also includes two other planets: Mercury and Jupiter. I don't know what these two might represent. Mercury in the 7th might mean that I am thinking of him and our relationship, that I am interested in him? Which is true of course.

And what about Jupiter in the 7th house? I have no idea what this could mean.

Is there any possibility that Mercury and or Jupiter represent any other people that play a role in our relationship? Either another woman or another man for me?

I am not seeing someone at the moment but during the time we spent apart, I have been open to date invitations that I accepted in a friendly framework. But I was only thinking of him and I didn't want anyone else. I was constantly with him.

And then there is Sun, who is supposed to be his co significator. Sun is in Scorpio, ruled by Mars. Sun is in 12house, which I guess it means that he is hiding some things from me? Hiding his thoughts, his intentions or hiding an interest he might have for another woman? Whats your opinion? Another thing is that with Sun in Scorpio, Venus is in detriment. Does this confirm that I somehow hurt his feelings and now he feels a bit cold about me?

Saturn and Moon in the 8th house? Moon in my 8th house, which is his 2nd, means that he possesses me and my interest? But what about Saturn in the 8th house? It indicates difficulties we have staying together?

As for the aspects, we have an approaching semisquare between sun and moon, which I guess is not the best, probably means we will meet again but there is no future?

Moon separating trine with Mars, which probably represents our affectionate meeting a few days ago? And also Venus separating trine with Mars.

And what about the 4th house being the end in the question? Does this mean that he will have the power to make the decision for us?

Please, let me know what you think.

I'm sorry, but I don't see this relationship working out.

You're Venus, he's Mars. Venus is retrograde, turning away from Mars. The moon (your emotional stake in the matter) is ready to collide with Saturn. A late degree rising can mean that the matter inquired about is no longer in a state of play.

In horary, we don't use all the planets in the chart, just the ones that are specifically relevant. Most of us don't use minor aspects.

If you really liked this guy all along, I question your earlier behaviour towards him. Unless you think he was lying, why wouldn't it be reasonable for him to want to take things slow? Six weeks isn't enough time to get to know someone to the point where you could have reasonable expectations or demands on the other person.

Hi way bread, thank you very much for your reply.

May I ask sth in general, as apart from my specific question, I am interested in learning more about horary. The late degrees of the ascendant mean that somehow the question is out of play. This can have a negative only colour or also a positive one? For example, if this chart had good aspects but the ascendant was in late degrees, this could mean that we are already together? So its sth that makes meaning in combination with aspects or it always has a negative interpretation?

As for your comment regarding my behaviour, the thing is that he didn't explain to me clearly what he meant and I perceived our discussion as he didn't want to be with be, he didn't want to be exclusive and he would meet other people. For me, 1.5 months is pretty enough to want to be in an exclusive affair. For the rest, I could be ok. But that discussion made me feel very insecure-it freaked me out and I started pulling away.

I don't think he was lying but I can never be sure. Once he explained himself better, I also felt better. But I don't know if things can be fixed now

There are two basic meanings to a late degree rising: (1) that the issue is really over and done with, the matter has been decided, and you cannot do anything to change it. Possibly you know the answer already. (2) The situation is about to change, as the ascendant will shortly change signs.

You may feel that 6 weeks is long enough to know whether or not you want an exclusive relationship with someone, but many other people would want much more time before making such an important decision. Notably in his case, when he still didn't feel healed after a bad break-up.

When you reacted so negatively to his statement that he wasn't ready for an exclusive commitment, he may have seen you as being temperamental, emotionally insecure, or being inconsiderate of his feelings.

A good general rule in romantic relationships is not to play games with the other person.

Thanks for the explanation, waybread. What is your opinion for Jupiter and Mercury in the 7th?

As for the rest, I understand exactly what you mean and his position and I agree with you. We all carry our wounds and our issues and these come out mainly when we are in the process of creating an intimate and close relationship with someone we really care.

He had a bad break up one year before he met me. I lost my father one year before I met him. I have been single for 4 years with 1-2 months "breaks" that led to nowhere and with people from which, turning back, only one was a real crash and someone I believed that we could be happy together. And, guess what, many months after he disappeared from my life with a ridiculous excuse, I got to know that he was married-no kids- with his wife leaving in another continent. Great right?

Why I am telling all these? Because, the understanding and the tolerance should be mutual in relationships. He has his wounds-I have mine. I didn't play any game. He didn't want to make a "compromise", he didn't try to create a secure environment for me. Probably it was beyond his ability and capacity at that time. But I also couldn't accept it naturally, as it was also beyond mine.

I took some time off in order to be able to calm down and accept him as he is. In order to realise whether I am seriously interested in him. I took some time off because otherwise, I would be with him but distant, confused, miserable, not being able to handle my emotions and disappointment and enjoy the moments with him.

Taking this time off allowed me to manage better my vulnerability and appreciate our chemistry and interaction. I appreciate how happy I am when we are together, when we go to a gig, when we are at home cuddling, when we do jokes, when I receive his good morning message. I feel like home when I am in his arms. And taking time off allowed me to push away any shadows for now and focus on the good side.

It wasn't a game. This was the best I could do, that was the best he could do.

I wish things were different or I wish we could fix the situation. But I feel that I hurt him or maybe he lost his sparkling interest to me. I am planning to talk with him in case we wants to meet me when back from business trip and apologise for hurting him by pulling away. Explain why I did it, hold his hand and tell him that I understand. Still, don't know if it can help. Wounds inhabit in deeper layers than our conscious. At least I hope I sound convincing lol.

Please, send positive energy, he means a lot to me )

I will update you in due course.

For now, I am sending you some words from a very beloved book of mine, Consolations by David Whyte. It is my true comfort when I am struggling with life and my self.

"VULNERABILITY

is not a weakness, a passing indisposition, or something we can arrange to do without, vulnerability is not a choice , vulnerability is the underlying, ever present and abiding under-current of our natural state. To run from vulnerability is to run from the essence of our nature, the attempt to be invulnerable is the vain attempt to be something we are not and most especially, to close off our understanding of the grief of others. More seriously, refusing our vulnerability we refuse the help needed at every turn of our existence and immobilize the essential, tidal and conversational foundations of our identity.

To have a temporary, isolated sense of power over all events and circumstances, is one of the privileges and the prime conceits of being human and especially of being youthfully human, but a privilege that must be surrendered with that same youth, with ill health, with accident, with the loss of loved ones who do not share our untouchable powers; powers eventually and most emphatically given up, as we approach our last breath. The only choice we have as we mature is how we inhabit our vulnerability, how we become larger and more courageous and more compassionate through our intimacy with disappearance, our choice is to inhabit vulnerability as generous citizens of loss, robustly and fully, or conversely, as misers and complainers, reluctant, and fearful, always at the gates of existence, but never bravely and completely attempting to enter, never wanting to risk ourselves, never walking fully through the door."

From here: https://awakencompassion.com/2014/06/05/vulnerability-by-david-whyte/

And a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk52XHSpmF4

Beautiful music video, thank you!

Vulnerability? I might put it a little differently, but there is a lot of wisdom in your excerpt. Thanks, again.

Jupiter and Mercury are this man's co-significators. Your significator is Venus, and secondarily the moon. I'm just not seeing a match up between your and his planets. Jupiter is strong by virtue of being angular and domiciled. Mercury is in detriment. There isn't a strong exchange of essential dignities. I'm just not clear where any of this gets you.

Thanks for the extra information about yourself. Maybe now is a good time to slow down on romance, and not try to push anything. Maybe the life lesson here is just to take time to get to enjoy your independence, not how you respond as half of a couple (or potential couple.) Good relationships take time to develop, even when the spark is there from the beginning.

With best wishes for your journey, W.

yoyostar I'm very curious about your natal chart. Do you happen to have pluto aspects or scorpio placements? Also saturn aspects? Maybe a bit mars/aries? uranus/moon?



Just curious!




And I totally can relate to the way you reacted when he said he was not ready, I suspect you felt rejected by that, and reacted to the feeling of rejection?
I hope things will work out for you guys <3


I don't think this is horary related issue, more like synastry(composite(davison and your individual natal charts <3

So, let me get back to you and share with you the ending of the story-which ended, as you predicted @waybread

After I posted this, I met the guy once more, after he returned from his business trip. He didn't ask to meet me immediately, which supported my intuition that he is very sceptic about us. After a few days he came back, he asked to meet me, we saw a movie and spent the night together. It was lovely, but I could still sense he is lost in his thoughts, like he wasn't sure what he was doing. He then avoided again to see me soon. I didn't ask him to meet, we were just exchanging messages, most of the time initiated by him. He then started sending me break up songs etch and finally I told him "I would appreciate if you explain to me whats going on instead of avoiding to see me and sending me this riddles through songs". He said that I am right. He told me that he needs some time with himself and he knows that this is not fair for others. He said that we can meet and talk whenever I can. We planned to meet in a few days, before I leave for Christmas vacations, but it was 2 days before my departure. I had so much work to do that I would stay to my office until 12-2 am and I texted him that morning that it is impossible to meet him. He said he understands. He then texted me on Christmas Day to say that meeting me this year was one of the best moments. I didn't say anything apart from Merry Christmas. That was it.

I really have the "intuition" that he probably met someone else or he is still thinking his long term ex that they broke up a year ago. But I can't really know and probably I will never know. But it pisses me off that he didn't insist giving a proper explanation to me. Probably it was very convenient for him that I called off our meeting because of the circumstances. But no phonecall, no text message to explain himself, no invitation when I got back-nothing.

I am still thinking about him and the memories we have together and I feel sad for the way things turn out.

But, speaking again based on my intuition, I think from the beginning he knew he cannot commit for some reason. He just liked me a lot and he fell into me. I think that I was right somehow that I pulled away in the first place.

As for my personal horoscope, @Melinn , my Pluto is in scorpio in the 1st house(very heavy, right?). I also have Sun trine Pluto and Mercury trine Pluto. Also Pluto semisextile Neptune and Pluto semisquare Uranus. And 2nd house in Scorpio.

Plus Moon conjunct Uranus(pulling away).

As for what I felt, was not exactly rejection, as I could feel that he likes me a lot. I was feeling full from the way he expressed his feelings to me. But since the beginning, I had the feeling that he is not the type of guy that I can see my life long-term. I felt that he had fear of commitment or sth like that. 43 yrs old, escaped from long relationships and moving somewhere very far for work, after a huge breakup. He has also constructed all this theory of freedom in relationships, that love doesn't fit in formalities etch. I just thought that being with him would be a waste of time for me and that we don't have the same goals in this life. I also felt that he is the type of the guy that he doesn't want to share much, but at that moment what he was sharing was enough for me to be honest, as it was only the beginning. It was more like intuitively I thought he is not the type of guy that I will settle after some time we spend together. So when I had the discussion with him, he somehow confirmed what I thought about him. And I pulled away, because I felt disappointed, I felt fear that I cannot trust him because we have different views of life and I also though that if it meant to be, we will get back together. We didn't

What are you thinking about these?