Pluto between family members and your experiences

Major plot twist in my life: I'm adopted and my cousins are my biological brothers.

So I'm going to keep this post short. This is about Pluto.

In my real birth chart, I have sun conjunct pluto and mercury, and moon opposing pluto. With asc in cap(with venus, mars, neptune and uranus), moon in gemini and sun in sag.

But this isn't really about my chart. It's about how to handle composite pluto and plutonic energy in general especially among family dynamics. I'm asking for you guys' opinions, advice and experiences of family dynamics within the context of pluto.

So one of my birth brothers has a moon conjunct pluto composite with venus trine pluto and venus opposing neptune with me. In synastry, he has neptune conjunct my asc.

He's plutonic himself, but instead of having freedom loving mutable signs like me, he has a **** load of scorpio and taurus.

Not only did he cause me issues as a cousin, he's causing me issues as a sibling.

So after getting the results from a DNA test I fooled my adopted mom into taking a DNA test (finding out my cousins are telling the truth and she's not my mom), and establishing a relationship with my birth family, I feel like my life is being sucked out of me and I live in some sort of parallel universe.

Instantly, this man made his wife and told me multiple times himself to not "hide anything" from him, to marry someone of the same ethnic background, and if that wasn't bad enough, constantly asking me why I didn't message him or talk to him often and consistently in the past (being insecure of the fact that he is poor). Also asking me whether I am ashamed that my birth family is of such a lower class and praising me for not having any overconfidence.

When that wasn't enough, he quickly capitalized on me offering money but not to HIS account, but he couldn't wait a week to make his own so he asked me to send and keep in contact with his wife's family member who has had sexual assault charges (and these charges are not meek by any means) and has had a history of blatantly hitting on me before.

Since then, I'm questioning my decision on reestablishing a relationship with them. I want to tell him I'm mad but I don't want to start a conflict. But if I dissapear after giving him money, then it's going to be "she's probably not keeping in touch with me because she's ashamed of me because I'm poor. BS.

I've been in plenty of plutonic relationships before but obviously not with a family member, but in romantic affairs. All of them just seems like you're walking on eggshells if some crisis doesn't occur that "transforms" you both.

venus-pluto being dynamics with beauty OR money (like in this case with money), and moon-pluto with something coming up to the surface and essentially not being able to hide anything from one another.

Do I want this type of drama in my life? And for who a greedy taurus/invasive scorpio?

You didn't post any charts, and you suggested some various aspects in the charts in your possession. I understand you want to guard you privacy.

The famous psychiatrist, Brian Weiss, warns that families are often big, big liabilities. We like to think that family connections are sacred, but in fact they frequently are not.

It is a sad thing if you are one who is cursed in the family department, but you must move on and make the best of it.

The Pluto involvements that you discuss are central to this, I suppose. Common experience with Pluto in relationship with others is control that is mixed with coercion and subterfuge. Someone might try to intimidate you with the attitude: "You need to be like me!" as if they are wagging a finger in your face. The Plutonic nature would analyze your weaknesses and try to use your weaknesses against you. We are all vulnerable because we need others, but plutonic associates cannot rest if the others that they associate with are not under the thumb. Some of your family cannot relate if they do not feel in control of you. I don't see an easy way out. You will need to decide if you can survive without a toxic family. It is a lonely path, and I sympathize with you.

Plutonic control often uses a play for your sympathies. The plutonic person may characterize themselves as the victim. The example that you are accused of rejecting a loved one because they are poor sounds familiar. That is probably a calculation, not a reality. They have calculated that you will feel guilty if so accused. It is designed to put you on the defensive. Notice that there has been little if any transparency or empathy for your tragic situation. You have been kept in the dark, and they would love to continue this abuse.

You have my sympathies. It is not easy to realize that you must walk away from the only family you have. It is a common problem, but it is still painful. Giving in to the abuse in order to preserve the family relationships will probably lead to worse.