Sensitivity & "being a loner" in my chart?

greybeard said:

Why does your chart give UT as 0000?

Is that a happy coincidence, or is there some reason for it?

Without knowing the answer to this question, I have no confidence in house positions or the Moon's position. Ah, now I see it. That is your transit data.

You are not yet experienced enough to read a chart I assume (or you wouldn't be asking for a reading, which you are), so why not take all those asteroids and other junk out of the chart and simplify your task?

Now that I've gotten the Grumpy out.....

The chart shows a well-defined Bowl pattern and Pluto is the leading planet.

Pluto is power.
And Pluto is isolation.
Pluto is marching to a different drummer, a law unto yourself.
Pluto sees life in terms of life and death; he is extreme, black-and-white, relies on strength and force (as well as subtlety and discreet manipulation), is compelling or compelled. There are no halfway measures.

Among the planets, Pluto is the most distant from the Sun. It is the Outer Limits (the position formerly occupied by Saturn -- and Saturn still retains that distinction in normal consciousness.) Pluto's orbit is the most eccentric, by far. It's orbit is also the most highly inclined to the ecliptic (17*+), thus "abnormal". Pluto is the only true binary planet (the barycenter Pluto-Charon lies outside the body of Pluto, and Charon is stationary with reference to Pluto's surface), giving him his ambivalent nature (duality).

If your Ascendant is actually in Cancer, then....Timid, shy, retiring, covering a secret. Dissimulating, utilizing a sideways approach to challenges, to what is new, to objectives. (Einstein used a "sideways approach" with his "mental experiments.") Tentative. Aggressively defensive, will hold ground until the last bullet. Tenacious (Spanish for "a crab's claw" is tenaja), reluctant to let go of anything, which can be both/either a positive and/or negative trait. (I used to catch crabs and put them into the pot because they would not let go of an old fish head I used for bait...a negative trait that led to their demise). Etc., etc.

The chart is structured on a Fixed T-square, with the focus on Mercury. The personality (and life) are built around your personal values, ideals, principles. Passing circumstances and events are not nearly so important to you as their significance and meaning. There is a fundamental inner conflict and the whole of life is brought toward the resolution of this conflict. Life is lived very subjectively...internally. Couple these ideas with the Cancer Asc and the Leading Pluto, and Voila....a need for solitude (add the 8th house focus of the chart structure, Mercury in Aquarius on the cusp, partile square Pluto).

Saturn holds a very important position...under duress (caught between malefics Uranus and Neptune), partile conjunction Neptune (very important), in his domicile, cadent -- in a house of Infortune...

Question: Why do you think you need to improve on what Nature created?

Consider a little cactus plant on the dry stony desert. Conditions are harsh, difficult. But the cactus is made for these conditions, and feels at home there. The same cactus would not thrive in a rain forest. We are each made as unique creatures for our special purpose.

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Birch Dragon said:

Hi Tamara,
I ease tentatively into the "role" of "commenter on other people's charts" on this site because a) I'm not an astrologer and b) humans are very complex, and I don't really know you. But then, I post things on this site because I want to hear what others have to say about it, so I want to give back in the same fashion. Take my post for what it's worth...

So again, the human psyche is profoundly complex. Complex enough that its quite normal for us to be a mass of walking contradictions. That great pioneer of modern psychology Sigmund Freud saw us all, essentially, as internally, and mostly unconsciously, conflicted - caught between the grand drives of love and aggression. We can all, and often do, love and hate the same thing at the same time. The same person at the same time. Granted a vast number of us walk the world rarely ascending beyond the realm of sheer instinct. But for those who want to be more consciously aware of who we are, what we do and why we do it (and I always assume whenever anybody is digging into their own chart that's exactly what they're after) life becomes a eternal process (struggle?) of navigating our own inner complexities and conflicts in a way that allows us to find the best in ourselves.

So if you feel a contradiction between aspects of your inner self, or maybe your inner self and the "roles" you play in wider society, I'm with greybeard in suggesting maybe the task isn't to "fix" what Nature made of you - where by "fix" we mean do away with these traits of "sensitivity" and "being a loner." (Traits, by the way, which sound fantastic and highly desirable to my ear!)
On the other hand, I'm with you if by "fix" you mean simply "get a better handle on." if you mean that you've identify some issues with yourself that you're looking to better understand. if you mean you have some traits that feel right now like vices but you want to figure out how to turn them into virtues.

My first thought is that being profoundly sensitive and a loner aren't contradictory at all, and I suspect they are both expressions of the watery side of your character (particularly, maybe, your Pisces Sun - though I could see a Saturn/Neptune conj. (in Cap!) expressing the need for spiritual rejuvenation through periodic hermiting). I suspect your need to be an occasional (frequent?) loner has everything to do with your body's need to re-charge after constantly sucking in and dealing with everybody else's psychic stuff (your sensitivity).

Second, again: I'd see your innate sensitivity as something that can be a profoundly good thing. What a gift to yourself and others. If you learn how to manage it so that it doesn't overburden you with the weal and woes of others (not that I'm a master at that myself. Pot calling the kettle black...). Again, I think your "loner" instinct is your body's natural mechanism to ensure against overload. The answer might lie in some conscious awareness and acceptance of the need to get away and meditate in a frequent and routine fashion ???

Finally: again, we're all a mass of contradictions. Just from watching people in life you can see that nobody is simply one note - but looking at astrology charts has really confirmed that for me. Again, I'm no astrologer. But when you say that you're actually "dynamic in my decision making" I see your four key angles (ASc, Des., IC and MC) in cardinal signs and I think "yeah! That's right you are!" In this life you have a cardinal persona: driven, creative, pioneering.Cancer, note, is the cardinal water sign. I often find when people emphasis the sensitive, mothering nature of Cancer they miss a lot of that sign's complexity. Or they miss a lot of the complexity that goes into the "mother" archetype. Cancer can be fierce. Relentlessly pushy in indirect ways. Profoundly good at getting what it wants through passive-aggressiveness. Or just straight aggressive when cornered or threatened. A Mother Bear ripping you apart to protect her cubs. It is the sign most associated with the need for psychic security after all. (Isn't it? Astrologers?)

I also think that Sagittarius moon probably throws some interesting spin into the "watery" chart mix. In the part of your psyche that we most associate with water - the deep, inner psyche - the Moon - you're actually not water. You're fire! And unstable, mutable fire at that. Which suggests to me that your outer expressions, your social role, are typically watery sensitive - Sun and Ascendent in water signs - but your inner, unconscious self, is energetic, vibrant, prefers freedom from such emotional entanglements and feels secure when you are moving about and expressing yourself.

That's my to cents, anyway. In "fixing" these traits you currently experience as difficulties, I'd suggest the task isn't to figure out how to cleanse yourself of them but to consciously master the inner complexities and conflicts, and figure out how to balance them - bring them to work together somehow - so you can find the best expression of that really interesting chart - that really interesting mix of water and fire - that you can.

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martinbd said:

Hi,
Yes, you water is strong, with Cancer on ASC, you should be sensitive, receptive and caring on view, and with Sun in Pisces, you probably like to help others and with Pluto on IC you probably like to go under the skin, to the secrets. So you can be emotionally rich.
And this loner trait could relate to strong Saturn in Capricorn in aspect to your Sun, this can give you also discipline especially in your work, but Saturn here is also ruler of your 7. house of partnership, so I think you tend to find some stable, deep, long term relationship or rather be alone. I think people with this kind of astrology influence can't be happy with shallow or short term relationship. This society usually don't understand to this kind of people and it pull them to have ordinary relationship and this can cause tension.

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Zarathu said:

You have sort of asked a number of these kinds of questions before in a check of the archives. This is the first time that you have moved beyond simply a question about self esteem.

IMO....

The first step is to learn about the significant challenges that you are facing today right now, emotionally, and then move forward to looking at the struggles that your natal chart represents for dealing with these challenges by looking at the following parts of your natal chart:.

How you structure the world through how you think about it and what kinds of rose colored glasses you use to see it, as well as indications of unresolved feeling pain and mental chaos, which impacts those cognitive structures of the world.

Then you would want to look at how you deal with change and how change impacts you.

Then you would want to see how your life mission is being accomplished and how your movement toward your appropriate life mission this time around is impacting your relationships and your potential career options.

The we would want to look objectively at the areas that your chart show you are strengths and where you should use those energies, as well as what your chart shows are fences because your soul doesn't want you to use those energies. Sometimes we don't like certain parts of our charts and we want to make them better as you have suggested. But what these areas are really are fences that your own higher self(when you didn't have the personality running that you see as YOU right now) didn't want you to use and thats why they are not particularly strong or they are high friction. You want to be using the energies that are strong, not wasting your time trying to make the things that are not strong better.

Finally if time is permitted you could look at where you get energy for life, and where health is providing you strengths and areas to be aware that you have to be careful with.

This is a long drawn out process for most people, and really should be done in a counseling mode since most people need a lot of time to think about stuff in between information provided. I've done this for many people over the years and am doing it here for a number, but weeks go by between my suggestions, partly because I have other things to do with my life(retired people don't sit around watching tv---I've not watched a tv show since last october) and because realistically I like people to take time to integrate the suggesting into their thinking processes.

Z

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greybeard said:

Acceptance (recognition as "somebody") often comes from accomplishment. A made man who brings in lots of money is accepted and respected by his Mafia cohorts. Just one example that comes to mind. Acceptance, too, can depend on the company you keep. The Mafia might not be so accepting of an accomplished ballerina.

Inner conflicts. Fixed T-square. The chart is structured on it. The personality is structured on it. I have 7 planets in Fixed signs, a massive T-square. You need time to get all the pieces of the puzzle together, then to see what the picture is, then to fit the pieces into the picture. In short, time is necessary. Develop your personal values, ideals, be true to yourself. It will come and you will end up with personal integrity.

Observe your own behavior very closely. "By their works (acts, fruits) ye shall know them," so keep your eye on every little thing you do. You will see what is working, what is not, can strengthen what is, correct what is not. Most of us, most of the time, don't really see how we act.

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greybeard said:

Isn't it funny. You don't want to be "sensitive" or "retiring"...
So you try to fix it. (Your words)
Then you quote Hesse, who doesn't want to lie to himself. He wants to listen to his blood.
He no longer seeks in the stars and here you are in an astrology forum, asking questions.

Your chart has a lot of retirement in it, a powerful inner life...
Cancer rising, Pluto leading, Sun and Venus in Pisces, 8th house planets, Moon in Sagittarius (comes in and out of relationship/contact, need for periodic solitude), fixed T-square dominating the structure of the chart....
the same factors engender a sensitive and quickly perceptive nature.

I'm not quite sure why these traits seem so "troublesome".
How and why do they trouble you?
What is your real question?
Put one foot in front of the other and discover your path.

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Ebenia said:

Personally I would say, that his is not really a chart of someone that is shy. Yes, you do have some karmic things that you need to learn to be in relationships, express your femininity and so on (venus conjunct rahu square moon), but I think the main reason for your shyness is actually transiting Neptune that has gone and hit your 7thouse, Venus, etc. while you have been growing up. This can make one extremely sensitive and also bring into your life relationships that command you to have clear boundaries. If you have not been able to do that, that might result in bad experiences in relationships, which in turn might make you turn inward and become more and more withdrawn from others.

I will say that when this Neptune transit will go away, you will start a more active and social part of your life. Person with Moon in Sagittarius in 5th house with Jupiter in 11th house will not stay all of their life behind the curtains... You have a beautiful chart with a lot of potential. Do not get discouraged!

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greybeard said:

You are not "just another girl". I suggest you undertake a deep study of the planet Pluto. I can see his shadow in what you describe of yourself. He holds your answer.

Warning: Pluto just may be the single most complex symbol in astrology. To follow Pluto you must descend into the infernal regions; not a trip for the faint-of-heart.

Study the astronomy of this planet. It is from the astronomy that the "meanings" derive. Stretch your mind. Give yourself a solid astronomical foundation on which to build your astrology.

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greybeard said:

You are not "just another girl". I suggest you undertake a deep study of the planet Pluto. I can see his shadow in what you describe of yourself. He holds your answer.

Warning: Pluto just may be the single most complex symbol in astrology. To follow Pluto you must descend into the infernal regions; not a trip for the faint-of-heart.

Study the astronomy of this planet. It is from the astronomy that the "meanings" derive. Stretch your mind. Give yourself a solid astronomical foundation on which to build your astrology.

Click to expand...