Solar return: Why have I been so lonely?

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Beautiful Ending said:

I've been so lonely these past two years and it's such a horrible feeling which I wouldn't wish on anyone. Last year was the worst year of my life and now I'm dealing with the repercussions in this one. I have no proper friends anymore, just lots of new acquaintances who I rarely see and occasionally only call me up when they want to get drunk. At first I enjoyed spending time on my own but now I'm more on my own that what I was when I had depression! I feel like I'm wasting my teenage years. I've attatched my birth chart, my current solar return and my next solar return. Can anyone take a look please? It would be so very much appreciated.

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Hi, B E.

I am sorry that this has been such a difficult time for you these last few years.

What I am about to say is from looking at your natal chart and the current transits. So I have not looked at the return charts.

In the fall of 2011 transiting Saturn passed over your natal Mercury, which affects how you think about things, and over your natal Chiron, the Wounded Healer. One of Saturn's attributes is depression. When Saturn touches Chiron, it can be a particularly painful and isolating experience, perhaps including rejection.

At the end of 2011, Saturn came up to pass over your Sun. This last March it retrograded back over your Sun and is still retrograding. So this is a time when you are steeped in the hard lessons that Saturn tries to teach us. During this period you may feel fear or guilt, frustration, limitation, futility. But Saturn's purpose is to teach you about responsibility, self-disclipline, restraint, focus and to help you understand that all things take time, including passing through different stages of our lives. That time is the teacher.

When Saturn ceases its retrograde motion next month, I think you will feel some of the weight of this transit lift. And in September, Saturn will make its final cycle to your Sun, and you should feel a lot better and not feel so isolated. It will also give you a chance to make new choices in light of what you have learned during Saturn's cycle to your Mercury, Chiron and Sun. So maybe it would be helpful for you to start journaling your thoughts and observations. They might contain just the lesson that Saturn is trying to teach you as it holds you out of the ordinary flow of activities.

let me have your birth data and I can help you better.

Your 2011 solar return shows Moon square Jupiter and Venus. Mars opposition Neptune in the 6th. It is good that you caught the drinking thing now because you should use that energy for creative purposes. Basically your emotions were out of concerto with expansion and venus issues. Then the mars opposition neptune in the 6th lead you in to the unbounded neptune area.

Saturn makes a person kind of like smushed underneath, but there is usually something to push something forward that needs to get done.

Especially Saturn square ascendants, I learned that its like a mini saturn return and a new programmatic chapter. Not in the sense of Uranus square in creating a new sense of individuality, but in choosing friends, schooling, tracking and reviewing mental patterns, looking over past mistakes and causes and trying to find the strength to stand.

Mars square Venus and Mercury from leo in to scorpio could designate a shift in aesthetics and rationalization.

The Uranus Pluto square from aries to capricorn is definetly a seed for a transformative breakthrough in awareness.


second half of 2012 is much lighter. It looks like you can find friends since venus your ruler is in the 11th house with a sextile to mercury in the first. There is going to be some problems regarding philosophy with jupter in the 8th. Which means that your feelings of intensity from the past might be a little hard to assimilate in to 11th house matters. Which is okay because jupiter is in gemini, a benefic in the 8th means that your sexuality is going to expand. Now for attraction to guys this is the second house mars, and there is an opposition there to the 8th. The oppositon would be a lot softer, and could potentially get you riled up. Mars is squaring in to the 4th, so you might attract men that don't want to be around the home area. Yet it could also potentially make it intense with the moon square uranus in to the 5th from the 2nd. It could seem like there would be a more open attitude yet with some issues of possesiveness.

Watch for transits in to the 12th where your sun and saturn is, this means that you are potentially going towards a more 12th house chapter. Your health is going to improve from the previous mental issues, but they are still going to linger around with this position. Chiron and Neptune forming sextiles from the 4th in to your 12th indicate that your homelife might have some lacunii. Or your emotional life can develop in to a kind of trancendental self-nurturing thing. With Neptune in the 4th it also indicates an inflated more dreamy scape exponentiated by the 12th. Make sure to go out and find people once in a while.