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  #1  
Unread 02-05-2020, 10:09 PM
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thysolist thysolist is offline
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Unhappy Very.. lonely.

Throughout my entire life, I've always struggled with friends, more specifically friend groups. I've never stayed in one very long, usually they last only around a year.

I have issues with loneliness and a fear of abandonment because of the times I've pleaded with friends to stay and having to constantly apologize to my friends, even if I did nothing wrong. Friends from my past have resurfaced before just to apologize for treating me the way they did, claiming they didn't know why they treated me like that and they're sorry, that they didn't know it had such an impact on me, etc.. It just feels like in friendships my feelings are constantly ignored, and when I try to confront my friends about it or bring it up in any way, it gets brushed off as nothing or... Guess what? Happens again. So great!

Nowadays, I have a friend group that, well, I'm still often left out of. I try to make great efforts just to get to know the people in the group better and such by going to events with them, hanging out with them, doing whatever I can, right? But it just doesn't feel like there's a connection with most of them. I'm left out of entire group activities and posts, nobody really notices or mentions when I'm gone, and I just don't understand why.

So, what about my chart indicates loneliness? I have a feeling it's my Saturn, but I'd like to just get an outside perspective on my chart. Thank you if you read my post and are interested in answering. If there's more information that is needed, I'm willing to provide more.
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  #2  
Unread 02-05-2020, 11:56 PM
Zora Zora is offline
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thysolist View Post
I have issues with loneliness and a fear of abandonment
It just feels like in friendships my feelings are constantly ignored
nobody really notices or mentions when I'm gone, and I just don't understand why.

So, what about my chart indicates loneliness? I have a feeling it's my Saturn, but I'd like to just get an outside perspective on my chart.


Hello thysolist,

no- I don't think it is your saturn. A feeling of deep loneliness - like feeling yourself motherless alone in the big sea is pisces in your 4th house (your emotions and feelings, house of mother and mother experience in childhood) ruled by neptune in your 3rd house - opposing your leo venus in 9th house - personal environement.

You are invisible to people who you really are - and they lose interest in you quickly - as you don't leave any impression on them to remember you.

3rd house is your physical body self-presentation, also in style and outfit and your outsending radiance and what people perceive from you. And neptune opposing a gender planet like venus -ican act like a magic hat, people overlook you and are not able to clearly recognize if you are male or female as most of the times you show yourself very neutral. I would suppose.

Moon/pluto conj. in 1st house ruled by pluto very often has the feeling to be seen as the black sheep or a scapegoat in own family and not accepted in own familiy. Cancer is intercepted in 8th house - genetic inheritance and family dogmata and beliefs - co-ruled by moon, main ruled by mercury.

Pluto is in semisextile with your chiron in 2nd house - selfesteem- you might even not feel yourself entitled to be here on earth and have to do a lot and to work hard (carpricorn sign) for it to earn it and that you have to subpress your own will (pluto) to get accepted- and do a lot to serve peoples needs with a venus ruled work and habit house to find get some applause and glow for your leo venus in 9th house.

But in fact nothing that you do - you do by free will -more because you feel yourself obliged to. People notice this instinctively and lose interest in you. As they might you as empty inside. Not filled with yourself and an own ego and an I AM.

I don't know what country you were born - but to me it looks like that your both parents would more have preferred to have a male child to reassure and helping in their own money income and their reputation in outer society - with your 4 planet stellium in 10th house ruled by mercury - as main ruler of genetic inheritance and bloodline ancestors- more male directed disrespecting women as less worthy. (Mercury in exact semisextile with venus)

And it looks to me, that your mother (shown with neptune) experienced the same in her family and in yours - has grown up with same opinion and suffered from same with neptune inconjunct mercury and opp venus- you took over in childhood as well.

Your mother's missing support- as your own gender- was the deepest hurting experience. Not to feel stable, grounded in a safe place and not at home anywhere - to be able to go out into the world and to face what you have to do and had come for here.


Saturn is not the culprit in your chart - he is your chance to rescue yourself and to get out of it - and to find yourself and who you really are.




No success in life without a good saturn - and yours is a good one. and a good supporter to help you to take responsibility on your own and take your life in own hands.


.
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Last edited by Zora; 02-05-2020 at 11:58 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 02-06-2020, 12:16 AM
watcherofthesouth watcherofthesouth is offline
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Re: Very.. lonely.

My dear - you just finished almost 8 years of loneliest time in a person's life - Sade Sati. Things will improve now. That time period was to strip you from what was familiar and focus on spiritual growth. You are just getting back on your feet after so much loss - many ppl lose jobs, spouses, money - there are deaths, betrayals -- the list goes on. Learn Saturn remedies and educate yourself on about how to help others and you will reap many rewards.
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  #4  
Unread 02-06-2020, 12:37 AM
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zora View Post
Hello thysolist,

A feeling of deep loneliness - like feeling yourself motherless alone in the big sea is pisces in your 4th house ruled by neptune in your 3rd house - opposing your leo venus in 9th house - personal environement.

You are invisible to people who you really are - and they lose interest in you quickly - as you don't leave any impression on them to remember you.

Neptune opposing a gender planet like venus -can act like a magic hat, people overlook you and are not able to clearly recognize if you are male or female as most of the times you show yourself very neutral. I would suppose.

Moon/pluto conj. in 1st house ruled by pluto very often has the feeling to be seen as the black sheep or a scapegoat in own family and not accepted in own familiy. Cancer is intercepted in 8th house - genetic inheritance and family dogmata and beliefs - co-ruled by moon, main ruled by mercury.

You might even not feel yourself entitled to be here on earth and have to do a lot and to work hard (carpricorn sign) for it to earn it and that you have to subpress your own will (pluto) to get accepted- and do a lot to serve peoples needs with a venus ruled work and habit house to find get some applause and glow for your leo venus in 9th house.

But in fact nothing that you do - you do by free will -more because you feel yourself obliged to. People notice this instinctively and lose interest in you. As they might you as empty inside. Not filled with yourself and an own ego and an I AM.

To me it looks like that your both parents would more have preferred to have a male child to reassure and helping in their own money income and their reputation in outer society - with your 4 planet stellium in 10th house ruled by mercury - as main ruler of genetic inheritance and bloodline ancestors- more male directed disrespecting women as less worthy. (Mercury in exact semisextile with venus) And it looks to me, that your mother (shown with neptune) experienced the same in her family and in yours - has grown up with same opinion and suffered from same with neptune inconjunct mercury and opp venus- you took over in childhood as well. Your mother's missing support- as your own gender- was the deepest hurting experience. Not to feel stable, grounded in a safe place and not at home anywhere - to be able to go out into the world and to face what you have to do and had come for here.

Saturn is not the culprit in your chart - he is your chance to rescue yourself and to get out of it - and to find yourself and who you really are.
No success in life without a good saturn - and yours is a good one. and a good supporter to help you to take responsibility on your own and take your life in own hands.

Thank you very much, Zora! You provided a great reading that really did ring true: distant mother, black sheep in family, neutral-presenting, etc.. and I really appreciate that.

But now it's opened a bundle of questions to me that I don't know how to quite answer myself.

How do I make impressions on people? How do I find myself? How do I show who I really am? How do I not feel obliged to do things, but go off-course and be independent and more like myself? Basically, how do I gain more of an ego?

Not going to lie, I always thought I made impressions on people, so to read that I don't, actually, really threw me off-path.
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  #5  
Unread 02-06-2020, 12:47 AM
Zora Zora is offline
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thysolist View Post
Not going to lie, I always thought I made impressions on people, so to read that I don't, actually, really threw me off-path.

But my words were only the astrological explanation of what you told yourself before in your initial post.


Quote:
Originally Posted by thysolist View Post
T
I have issues with loneliness and a fear of abandonment because of the times I've pleaded with friends to stay and having to constantly apologize to my friends, even if I did nothing wrong.

Nowadays, I have a friend group that, well, I'm still often left out of. I try to make great efforts just to get to know the people in the group better and such by going to events with them, hanging out with them, doing whatever I can, right?



But it just doesn't feel like there's a connection with most of them. I'm left out of entire group activities and posts, nobody really notices or mentions when I'm gone, and I just don't understand why.

.
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  #6  
Unread 02-06-2020, 12:48 AM
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thysolist thysolist is offline
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by watcherofthesouth View Post
My dear - you just finished almost 8 years of loneliest time in a person's life - Sade Sati. Things will improve now. That time period was to strip you from what was familiar and focus on spiritual growth. You are just getting back on your feet after so much loss - many ppl lose jobs, spouses, money - there are deaths, betrayals -- the list goes on. Learn Saturn remedies and educate yourself on about how to help others and you will reap many rewards.

Thank you, watcherofthesouth! I'll make sure to take your advice on educating myself on helping others, and I'll start checking out Saturn remedies and then go deeper into it.
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  #7  
Unread 02-06-2020, 12:55 AM
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xichuwangwai xichuwangwai is offline
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thysolist View Post
Throughout my entire life, I've always struggled with friends, more specifically friend groups. I've never stayed in one very long, usually they last only around a year.

I have issues with loneliness and a fear of abandonment because of the times I've pleaded with friends to stay and having to constantly apologize to my friends, even if I did nothing wrong. Friends from my past have resurfaced before just to apologize for treating me the way they did, claiming they didn't know why they treated me like that and they're sorry, that they didn't know it had such an impact on me, etc.. It just feels like in friendships my feelings are constantly ignored, and when I try to confront my friends about it or bring it up in any way, it gets brushed off as nothing or... Guess what? Happens again. So great!

Nowadays, I have a friend group that, well, I'm still often left out of. I try to make great efforts just to get to know the people in the group better and such by going to events with them, hanging out with them, doing whatever I can, right? But it just doesn't feel like there's a connection with most of them. I'm left out of entire group activities and posts, nobody really notices or mentions when I'm gone, and I just don't understand why.

So, what about my chart indicates loneliness? I have a feeling it's my Saturn, but I'd like to just get an outside perspective on my chart. Thank you if you read my post and are interested in answering. If there's more information that is needed, I'm willing to provide more.
saturn doesn't have much to do with it
it's mainly because of the stars in the 10th and the stars in the 1th, it makes you a little bit too focused and relied on reputation and social relations (these words might not be the correct terms, but, well, I don't know many english words), and it's going to hurt your feelings
way to deal with it: try to forget about "groups", try and develop some hobbies (it may not be easy at first), something deep, something occult, something that really needs your efforts to study, something that you can do alone or with a few friends (friends that have the same interests)
PS: nothing is perfect
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  #8  
Unread 02-06-2020, 01:05 AM
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zora View Post
But my words were only the astrological explanation of what you told yourself before in your initial post.
I believe I may have misinterpreted on what you meant by "impression", is it what people think of you at first sight, or later on as they get to know you?
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  #9  
Unread 02-06-2020, 01:10 AM
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thysolist thysolist is offline
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xichuwangwai View Post
saturn doesn't have much to do with it
it's mainly because of the stars in the 10th and the stars in the 1th, it makes you a little bit too focused and relied on reputation and social relations (these words might not be the correct terms, but, well, I don't know many english words), and it's going to hurt your feelings
way to deal with it: try to forget about "groups", try and develop some hobbies (it may not be easy at first), something deep, something occult, something that really needs your efforts to study, something that you can do alone or with a few friends (friends that have the same interests)
PS: nothing is perfect


Thank you for the advice, Xichuwangwai! You got the correct terms, and your English is perfectly fine. I'll start looking into hobbies and seeing if I can find something that I can really "click" with.
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  #10  
Unread 02-06-2020, 01:16 AM
Zora Zora is offline
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Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thysolist View Post
TBut now it's opened a bundle of questions to me that I don't know how to quite answer myself.

How do I make impressions on people? How do I find myself? How do I show who I really am? How do I not feel obliged to do things, but go off-course and be independent and more like myself? Basically, how do I gain more of an ego?

First of all - never apologize for mistakes you haven't done and haven't been resposible for.

Play fair-play with yourself at first. You are not more worthy than others but also not more less. You have same rights as others have - you are same entitled to be here and on earth.

Take responsibility for your own and your mistakes and leave other's mistakes under their responsibility. If you enter into others responsibility and take over their responsibiity - you in fact disrespect other's boundaries and life tasks and you accept and attract punishment and to function as a garbage for them.



People will not experience you on same eye level and more as servant for their needs. (your venus rules your 7th house- encounter level - but also 6th house - to adapt to other people's wishes).


You are very sensitive born person with venus/neptune opp. and you know non-verbally what people are in need for - but to do what they want and long for- is not your business - if you were not verbally asked for help.

And it is impossible to earn people's acceptance by doing all for them- and to work hard for it - better to work for yourself to get what you want.
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  #11  
Unread 02-06-2020, 01:32 AM
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thysolist thysolist is offline
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Thumbs up Re: Very.. lonely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zora View Post
First of all - never apologize for mistakes you haven't done and haven't been responsible for.

Play fair-play with yourself at first. You are not more worthy than others but also not more less. You have same rights as others have - you are same entitled to be here and on earth.

Take responsibility for your own and your mistakes and leave other's mistakes under their responsibility. If you enter into others responsibility and take over their responsibiity - you in fact disrespect other's boundaries and life tasks and you accept and attract punishment and to function as a garbage for them.

People will not experience you on same eye level and more as servant for their needs. (your venus rules your 7th house- encounter level - but also 6th house - to adapt to other people's wishes).

You are very sensitive born person with venus/neptune opp. and you know non-verbally what people are in need for - but to do what they want and long for- is not your business - if you were not verbally asked for help.

And it is impossible to earn people's acceptance by doing all for them- and to work hard for it - better to work for yourself to get what you want.

Great advice, Zora! So, I should be my main priority, working for myself to get what I want and manning up to take responsibility for myself and my mistakes and to not apologize for mistakes I have nothing to do with and let others deal with their mistakes (because otherwise I'm setting myself up for disaster). That's really great advice, and I think I'll really start trying to take that to heart as the days go on, because I need to, badly.
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Unread 02-06-2020, 05:13 PM
Roks Roks is offline
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Thumbs up Re: Very.. lonely.

Hey first of all i would like to say our charts are very similar. I also have neptune oppose venus, I also have sun mars jupiter conjunct. And I also have experienced everything you described even more. Until I realized I was letting people walk over me like a carpet, Realized I was letting them control me, control my actions, control my emotions. I realized how weak i was to other people. Never striking back like a rabbit. I realized i treated others better than I
treat myself.I realized that the only way out is to empower myself, to love myself,to treat myself more than i treat others, to make my life revolve around I not Them. I started going to the gym,eating healthy, taking up a hobby(which was programming). I stopped letting others judgement influence the way i want to live my life. I hope my story helps you!

PS: Saturn is not a bad planet. It makes more disciplined, realistic, and shows us the harshest truths of your life. The reason people hate this planet is because they don't want to hear "the harshest truths of your life" they prefer to live in thier own fantasy. The irony is that if you want to achieve anything in life you need to know your weakness

Another PS: I also had a distant parent. It was my father. He left me when i was 3. I heard that in the previous year he was found dead, homeless, pennyless, near a lake. He was a construction worker.Worked unofficially because he had a mountain of debt and never payed taxes. Although he owned a big forest that he inherited from his mother. Atleast he left it for me.
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Last edited by Roks; 02-06-2020 at 05:49 PM.
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