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  #1  
Unread 01-09-2020, 06:24 PM
whiteoak whiteoak is offline
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Venus in Aries + 8th house

Hey everyone!

This is my first post regarding my chart. I have many questions, but I’m quite intrigued with my Venus in Aries (detriment) AND in 8th house, since relationships have always been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. So my question is, how challenging is this placement? It seems like a lousy placement for Venus, am I right?

//

I seem to have no luck in love, I always attracted and felt attracted to the wrong guys (I’m a woman btw) and with time I’ve realised that it was becoming a pattern (which I'm trying to avoid now, but the attraction is still there). My timing always seems to be off too. Even friendships have been difficult, somehow I tend to alienate everyone or loose contact, so in the present I have very few close friends and it’s been hard to meet new people - this goes for friendships or potential lovers. The thing is, I seem to oscillate between feeling kind of "popular" (for lack of a better word because I’m not the popular type, but I do stand out sometimes), in the sense of people noticing me and being drawn to me, to moments when I feel completely invisible and uninteresting.

I know that there are many things that can contribute to this, but maybe there’s something in my chart too? I am trying to change some life patterns so getting some answers could be helpful.

That’s why I’m asking about my Venus. I noticed I have aspects from Chiron to my Venus (sextile) and Mars too (conjunction). My ascendant is highly aspected too, I’m not sure how it can affect me and my relationships.

Also, my Venus is in the 8th or 7th depending on house systems, and I do feel some of the 7th house traits (I feel both, in 8th and 7th), but I guess that could be because my moon is in the 7th…

//

I’m not going to say much more or it will become a really long post, but feel free to ask me anything! And sorry for any typo, english is not my first language.



I’ve attached my chart so you can take a look.

+

Declination aspects:

-*Moon*Contra-Parallel*Venus*(0°49’)

-*Venus*Parallel*Pluto*(0°53’)

-*Mars*Contra-Parallel*Uranus*(0°08’)

-*Mars*Contra-Parallel*Neptune*(0°43’)

-*Jupiter*Parallel*Saturn*(0°11’)

-*Uranus*Parallel*Neptune*(0°34’)

-*Ascendant*Contra-Parallel*Moon*(0°07’)

-*Ascendant*Parallel*Venus*(0°41’)

-*MC*Parallel*Mars*(0°26’)

-*MC*Contra-Parallel*Uranus*(0°17’)

-*MC*Contra-Parallel*Neptune*(0°17’)

-*Node*Contra-Parallel*Jupiter*(0°42’)

-*Node*Contra-Parallel*Saturn*(0°30’)



Thanks for reading!
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Last edited by whiteoak; 01-22-2020 at 07:02 PM.
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  #2  
Unread 01-10-2020, 01:47 PM
three M symbols three M symbols is offline
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Hi

For me it seems more like a Mars conjunct Chiron problem.
(Mars can represent the kind of men you're attracted by).

For love, ruler of 5th house is Saturn, Saturn is in Scorpio and it oppose your Sun.
But it is ruled by Mars (as the ruler of Scorpio).. Mars conjunct Chiron is wounded, so you will attract the same patterns, until the day you will figure out why it happen, and Mars will heal.

The loud transit of Saturn / Pluto etc.. is in your 5th house right now so It can seem even more difficult and challenging right now than usual.

Venus can represent how you value yourself. And I guess you struggle with it because it is in detriment in Aries and 8th house..

But you know, my Venus is in Libra & 11th house. (not in detriment at all).
But my Sun and Venus conjuncts Chiron, so I struggle too (with friendships and selfconfidence especially) - not that much with love relationships with boys because my Mars is well aspected.

Like you, I could feel kind of "popular" in the past, but now, I feel "invisible and uninteresting", and I have very few real friends too, due to Chiron I guess.

Mercury can also be involved in your issues because it oppose pluto (that represent struggle with power and control. So maybe your communication (Mercury) and intents (Mars) appears "not clear" to other people

Last edited by three M symbols; 01-10-2020 at 01:52 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 01-10-2020, 08:08 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Quote:
For me it seems more like a Mars conjunct Chiron problem.
(Mars can represent the kind of men you're attracted by).

For love, ruler of 5th house is Saturn, Saturn is in Scorpio and it oppose your Sun.
But it is ruled by Mars (as the ruler of Scorpio).. Mars conjunct Chiron is wounded, so you will attract the same patterns, until the day you will figure out why it happen, and Mars will heal.
I had already wondered about this Mars-Chiron conjunction and how it could be affecting me, that’s why I mentioned it, and was actually thinking about making a post about it, but I never thought about it like that. It does make sense, everything you said. With Saturn opposing my Sun I feel that nothing comes easily to me, but I didn't know about those other connections...

Fortunately, I am now aware of those patterns, some of them at least, so it’s easier for me to control it and make better choices.

Quote:
Venus can represent how you value yourself. And I guess you struggle with it because it is in detriment in Aries and 8th house..
I see… self confidence is also an issue, but I have more things that can do this, like Sun opposition Saturn, so that doesn’t help…

I edit my post and deleted this part because I am not sure about it, I guess I can relate with my Aries Venus just not entirely, which is normal because there are so many things interfering in a chart and I think I have to learn more about it before drawing conclusions.

Quote:
Like you, I could feel kind of "popular" in the past, but now, I feel "invisible and uninteresting", and I have very few real friends too, due to Chiron I guess.
Maybe it’s an age thing too? I mean, don’t know about you but now that I’m no longer in my teens or early twenties… It’s also harder to meet new people and make new friends. Still, Chiron seems like a real pain in the ***

Quote:
Mercury can also be involved in your issues because it oppose pluto (that represent struggle with power and control. So maybe your communication (Mercury) and intents (Mars) appears "not clear" to other people
Interesting, communication is definitely a struggle... I am aware of that so I’ve been trying really hard and I think I’m becoming better at it.


Thank you so much for your insights!

Last edited by whiteoak; 01-22-2020 at 02:30 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 01-10-2020, 08:37 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

In what ways are the guys you're attracted to wrong?

I start with the big picture: your DC and seventh house represent who you're attracted to, and what kind of partner you really need. Perhaps you're attracting people who represent the worst kind of Pisces traits: addict, mentally ill, escapist, unreliable, financially irresponsible, things like that. Or perhaps you tend to put people you're attracted to on a pedestal, expect them to be The One, to be your be all and end all, change your life for the best in every possible way--that's a very Piscean way to approach relationships (dysfunctional version of a Piscean way), and since Pisces is also your moon sign, I would be surprised if you didn't have a tendency to get very emotionally wrapped up in partners and crushes while idealizing them to the extreme.

The functional kind of Piscean person would be a mature Pisces type. Very spiritual, perhaps well traveled, but also down to earth enough to function in the world. If they've ever had an addiction, they've been in recovery for years and have turned their life around. If they've ever been mentally ill, they've found balance. And a functional Piscean approach to relationships would be an ability to deeply love and see the best in your partner while being realistic about their faults. It might be a very creative partnership, or a deeply sexual one, or both--that's also a very Piscean thing, and a very eighth house thing as well (functional use of your eighth house Venus).

You've got the potential for either a functional or a dysfunctional Piscean approach to relationships, and for attracting functional or dysfunctional Piscean types. Either way, it's a version of Pisces, but which version you'll attract depends on where you are. We attract people who are as functional as ourselves. If you're not getting the healthy version, then your own self development needs attention.
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  #5  
Unread 01-10-2020, 08:43 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

I have Saturn opposing Sun too..
Saturn in 5th house (Pisces) VS Sun in 11th (Virgo)

I don't really know if "popularity" is defined by the age. I'm still young (24yo). I just think being extraverted helps to meet new people but I'm not. ^^'

As a person with Saturn in 5th, my hobbies are too serious/lonely and not so entertaining to be a fun subject of conversation with other people, so it's difficult to find interesting things to say when I meet someone new
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Unread 01-11-2020, 02:59 AM
whiteoak whiteoak is offline
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Thanks Osamenor, that was really helpful and spot on!

Quote:
In what ways are the guys you're attracted to wrong?

I start with the big picture: your DC and seventh house represent who you're attracted to, and what kind of partner you really need. Perhaps you're attracting people who represent the worst kind of Pisces traits: addict, mentally ill, escapist, unreliable, financially irresponsible, things like that. Or perhaps you tend to put people you're attracted to on a pedestal, expect them to be The One, to be your be all and end all, change your life for the best in every possible way--that's a very Piscean way to approach relationships (dysfunctional version of a Piscean way)
Well, they are usually good guys, but just not right for me. I don't feel attracted to addicts or the irresponsible type at all, but they do tend to be unreliable, yes, they are often unstable or maybe just unavailable in some way.

I'm drawn to the creative, artistic, compassionate, sensitive and unusual. I don't think that I'm into the deeply troubled type, but I'm attracted to the mysterious and complex personalities (I wish I was more attracted to simple guys tho). I like independent and intelligent men also.

If I think carefully, they might have some of the issues you've mentioned, but I only realise that when I'm already involved in the relationship, so that's not what attracted me in the first place.

Of course I don't see it at first because I do exactly what you said, I tend to idealise my love interest, only to feel disappointed in the end. It's funny because only recently I realised that I do that, they are not the problem, I am! Because I happen to fall for a person that only exists in my head! I think it starts with a simple attraction and then I get all excited because it's not easy for me to get interested in someone, so I immediately think they are great, and then I fall really quickly for the idea of them and not for who they really are. And often they help to continue this illusion, hiding some of their characteristics that they know I wouldn't like, probably realising that if I could see who they really are I would loose interest, and that's exactly what ends up happening.

Quote:
and since Pisces is also your moon sign, I would be surprised if you didn't have a tendency to get very emotionally wrapped up in partners and crushes while idealizing them to the extreme.
Definitely. Maybe that's why I don't relate with some of my Venus in Aries traits, I do get emotionally attached too easily, which I hate because I don't want to feel tied to anyone. I think I'm full of contradictions...

Quote:
The functional kind of Piscean person would be a mature Pisces type. Very spiritual, perhaps well traveled, but also down to earth enough to function in the world. If they've ever had an addiction, they've been in recovery for years and have turned their life around. If they've ever been mentally ill, they've found balance. And a functional Piscean approach to relationships would be an ability to deeply love and see the best in your partner while being realistic about their faults. It might be a very creative partnership, or a deeply sexual one, or both--that's also a very Piscean thing, and a very eighth house thing as well (functional use of your eighth house Venus).
Great great info! That last part makes total sense to me.

Quote:
You've got the potential for either a functional or a dysfunctional Piscean approach to relationships, and for attracting functional or dysfunctional Piscean types. Either way, it's a version of Pisces, but which version you'll attract depends on where you are. We attract people who are as functional as ourselves. If you're not getting the healthy version, then your own self development needs attention.
Yes, you are totally right here, I know that I'm big part of the problem, that's why I'm looking for some answers that can help me to deal with this.


So, does this mean that my Venus placement is not problematic?
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  #7  
Unread 01-11-2020, 03:37 AM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteoak View Post
Thanks Osamenor, that was really helpful and spot on!



Well, they are usually good guys, but just not right for me. I don't feel attracted to addicts or the irresponsible type at all, but they do tend to be unreliable, yes, they are often unstable or maybe just unavailable in some way.
Not every Pisces trait will apply to the people you're attracted to. I was just throwing out the possibilities to see which ones would stick. Unreliable, unstable, and unavailable hits it on the head.

Chasing unavailable people is, in particular, a Piscean way to avoid intimacy. Here, we have a clear interplay between your need for space and independence in relationships (which I'll get to in a bit) and your Pisces Moon/DC urge to merge. How can you satisfy both a need to hold onto your independence and individuality and personal space (Aries/Aquarius) and a need to completely merge with another self (Pisces)? The answer is by holding onto an unobtainable Piscean ideal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteoak View Post
I'm drawn to the creative, artistic, compassionate, sensitive and unusual. I don't think that I'm into the deeply troubled type, but I'm attracted to the mysterious and complex personalities (I wish I was more attracted to simple guys tho). I like independent and intelligent men also.
Mysterious and complex is very Pisces! As is creative, artistic, compassionate, and sensitive. Those traits can be the functional side of Pisces, or they can be cover ups for--or coexist with--the dysfunctional side.

Independence is a very Arian trait--there you see your Aries Venus!--and the combination of independent and intelligent is particularly Aquarian. Jupiter, your DC sign's traditional ruler, is in Aquarius, and sextile your Venus, too. That tells us that your relationship needs are also very Aquarian.

You need your space in a relationship. You need your independence. And you value those traits in a partner, too, because you need someone who can give you that space and that independence. Who can do that better than someone who has those needs himself?

The trick is balancing your need for space and independence with your need for intimacy. You've figured out a way to do that, but it's a non-functional way (going for unavailable men). You don't really get intimacy that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteoak View Post
Maybe that's why I don't relate with some of my Venus in Aries traits, I do get emotionally attached too easily, which I hate because I don't want to feel tied to anyone. I think I'm full of contradictions...
Birth charts are full of contradictions. One piece of it says this, another piece of it says that. Yours has the contradiction of an Aries/Pisces/Aquarius mix in your relationship needs. (We can also throw in Capricorn, using Neptune as an additional ruler for your DC to add more detail, but I think we've already covered the bases with the other involved placements.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteoak View Post
So, does this mean that my Venus placement is not problematic?
It's only as problematic as you make it.

Venus in Aries is not the lady she's expected to be. More of a tomboy. That's the person who's more likely to think a good date is climbing a mountain than wining and dining. And to top it off, your Venus is trine Uranus, which is another indication that you need space in your relationships, and that you need a relationship that doesn't necessarily play by society's rules.

It's no wonder that you're attracted to independent, intelligent, and complex people. Your chart shows that you're one yourself.

You need to go about relationships in a way that respects all of these needs you have.
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  #8  
Unread 01-11-2020, 04:15 AM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteoak View Post
Hey everyone!

This is my first post regarding my chart. I have many questions, but I’m quite intrigued with my Venus in Aries (detriment) AND in 8th house, since relationships have always been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. They can be magical, but painful. So my question is, how challenging is this placement? It seems like a lousy placement for Venus, am I right?

//

I seem to have no luck in love, I always attracted and felt attracted to the wrong guys (I’m a woman btw) and with time I’ve realised that it was becoming a pattern (which I'm trying to avoid now, but the attraction is still there). My timing always seems to be off too. Even friendships have been difficult, somehow I tend to alienate everyone or loose contact, so in the present I have very few close friends and it’s been hard to meet new people - this goes for friendships or potential lovers. The thing is, I seem to oscillate between feeling kind of "popular" (for lack of a better word because I’m not the popular type, but I do stand out sometimes), in the sense of people noticing me and being drawn to me, to moments when I feel completely invisible and uninteresting.

I know that there are many things that can contribute to this, but maybe there’s something in my chart too? I am trying to change some life patterns so getting some answers could be helpful.

That’s why I’m asking about my Venus. I noticed I have aspects from Chiron to my Venus (sextile) and Mars too (conjunction). My ascendant is highly aspected too, I’m not sure how it can affect me and my relationships.

Also, my Venus is in the 8th or 7th depending on house systems, and I do feel some of the 7th house traits (I feel both, in 8th and 7th), but I guess that could be because my moon is in the 7th…

//

I’m not going to say much more or it will become a really long post, although I have lots to say regarding this subject, so please feel free to ask me anything! And sorry for any typo, English is not my first language.



I’ve attached my chart so you can take a look.

+

Declination aspects:

-*Moon*Contra-Parallel*Venus*(0°49’)

-*Venus*Parallel*Pluto*(0°53’)

-*Mars*Contra-Parallel*Uranus*(0°08’)

-*Mars*Contra-Parallel*Neptune*(0°43’)

-*Jupiter*Parallel*Saturn*(0°11’)

-*Uranus*Parallel*Neptune*(0°34’)

-*Ascendant*Contra-Parallel*Moon*(0°07’)

-*Ascendant*Parallel*Venus*(0°41’)

-*MC*Parallel*Mars*(0°26’)

-*MC*Contra-Parallel*Uranus*(0°17’)

-*MC*Contra-Parallel*Neptune*(0°17’)

-*Node*Contra-Parallel*Jupiter*(0°42’)

-*Node*Contra-Parallel*Saturn*(0°30’)



Thanks for reading!
Actually your Venus has some minor dignity going for it by being within its terms/bounds. What stood out to me in your chart is that the ascendant is critical Virgo with its ruler Mercury being in a fixed opposition with Pluto. This probably creates an intense mental power dynamic with your partner since Venus is the depositor for Mercury. Your desire to change the dynamic is probably the result of transiting Uranus conjunct your Venus. By whole sign, I see this happening across your 3rd house 9th house axis. Uranus conjunct Mercury in the 9th house could signify your interest in Astrology and using it to change your stuck patterns.
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  #9  
Unread 01-11-2020, 04:23 AM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Quote:
I don't really know if "popularity" is defined by the age. I'm still young (24yo).
It’s not, but I think the opportunities to meet new people are, while we don’t get all caught up in the adult life. When you reach your late twenties you start seeing most of your connections getting married and starting a family, even if they don’t, our jobs take most of our time and we start having less time and patience to make new acquaintances, so we start closing our social circle to just a select group of friends. Of course it really depends on each person, but that is what happened with me. You can still make friends at work, but it's different.

With your age maybe you are already experiencing this but in a different level. Like you said, you are still young so if it's something that is bothering you, then it's a good time to change it. With your age I wasn't feeling like that yet and now it seems more difficult because there are less opportunities.

Quote:
I just think being extraverted helps to meet new people but I'm not. ^^'
It does help, but it's not crucial. I might be biased, but I think that introverts are more interesting, extroverts can be annoying

Quote:
As a person with Saturn in 5th, my hobbies are too serious/lonely and not so entertaining to be a fun subject of conversation with other people, so it's difficult to find interesting things to say when I meet someone new
I know what you mean, sometimes it's difficult to find something to talk about. I used to have difficulty with small talk for example, I thought it was boring and forced (I still do, actually), so I would only approach someone if I had something meaningful to say, but that just made things harder for me, so now I just try to get along with it and eventually the small talk can become an interesting one. I guess the secret is finding ways to adapt while staying true to ourselves.


May I ask what is your ascendant and moon sign?
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Unread 01-11-2020, 09:23 AM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Quote:
May I ask what is your ascendant and moon sign?
Like the name I choosed on this forum, I have three "M" symbols.

- Virgo Moon (10th house)
- Virgo Sun (11th)
- Scorpio ASC (conjunct Mars 1° in 1st)

So, work is more important than people for my emotional security (10th house moon curse). If I have issue with my work goals, it focus all my intentions and emotions, a lot more than my friends, family or even boyfriend.. And as a Scorpio ASC I'm used to cut people off quickly If I feel they disrespect me just a bit or make me feel vulnerable about something that belongs to 1st or 10th house

It explain why I have a very few friends now.
I had a lot of friends in the past, and it was very very easy to make new ones, find something to talk about, approach anyone easily.
Now I work at home, and need more than one or two common points with someone.

Last edited by three M symbols; 01-11-2020 at 09:41 AM.
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Unread 01-11-2020, 02:34 PM
whiteoak whiteoak is offline
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Wow, I am impressed, you just figured me out better than I have.

Quote:
Chasing unavailable people is, in particular, a Piscean way to avoid intimacy. Here, we have a clear interplay between your need for space and independence in relationships (which I'll get to in a bit) and your Pisces Moon/DC urge to merge. How can you satisfy both a need to hold onto your independence and individuality and personal space (Aries/Aquarius) and a need to completely merge with another self (Pisces)? The answer is by holding onto an unobtainable Piscean ideal.
I do that, the more unattainable they seem, the more I feel the pull, it's just not healthy. It also feels like a challenge, which I like, until it starts being painful.

Quote:
Independence is a very Arian trait--there you see your Aries Venus!--and the combination of independent and intelligent is particularly Aquarian. Jupiter, your DC sign's traditional ruler, is in Aquarius, and sextile your Venus, too. That tells us that your relationship needs are also very Aquarian.

You need your space in a relationship. You need your independence. And you value those traits in a partner, too, because you need someone who can give you that space and that independence. Who can do that better than someone who has those needs himself?
That is true, I really need my space, otherwise it won't work. I can also give a lot of freedom in my relationships, because I get it. What's been hard is to find someone who is independent but also stable and loyal.

Quote:
The trick is balancing your need for space and independence with your need for intimacy. You've figured out a way to do that, but it's a non-functional way (going for unavailable men). You don't really get intimacy that way.
Yes, that's the biggest lesson I have to learn, how to attain that.

Quote:
Birth charts are full of contradictions. One piece of it says this, another piece of it says that. Yours has the contradiction of an Aries/Pisces/Aquarius mix in your relationship needs. (We can also throw in Capricorn, using Neptune as an additional ruler for your DC to add more detail, but I think we've already covered the bases with the other involved placements.)
This is interesting! I noticed recently that I tend to attract guys with Capricorn placements, usually Sun, Moon (the most common) or Venus, which is weird for me because it's not a sign that I get along best.

Quote:
Venus in Aries is not the lady she's expected to be. More of a tomboy. That's the person who's more likely to think a good date is climbing a mountain than wining and dining. And to top it off, your Venus is trine Uranus, which is another indication that you need space in your relationships, and that you need a relationship that doesn't necessarily play by society's rules.

It's no wonder that you're attracted to independent, intelligent, and complex people. Your chart shows that you're one yourself.

You need to go about relationships in a way that respects all of these needs you have.
That makes sense. I can relate to that.

Thank you so much, this has been extremely helpful and I will try to keep all of this in mind.

Last edited by whiteoak; 01-22-2020 at 02:34 PM.
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Unread 01-11-2020, 03:03 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteoak View Post
Hey everyone!

This is my first post regarding my chart. I have many questions, but I’m quite intrigued with my Venus in Aries (detriment) AND in 8th house, since relationships have always been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. They can be magical, but painful. So my question is, how challenging is this placement? It seems like a lousy placement for Venus, am I right?

//

I seem to have no luck in love, I always attracted and felt attracted to the wrong guys (I’m a woman btw) and with time I’ve realised that it was becoming a pattern (which I'm trying to avoid now, but the attraction is still there). My timing always seems to be off too. Even friendships have been difficult, somehow I tend to alienate everyone or loose contact, so in the present I have very few close friends and it’s been hard to meet new people - this goes for friendships or potential lovers. The thing is, I seem to oscillate between feeling kind of "popular" (for lack of a better word because I’m not the popular type, but I do stand out sometimes), in the sense of people noticing me and being drawn to me, to moments when I feel completely invisible and uninteresting.

I know that there are many things that can contribute to this, but maybe there’s something in my chart too? I am trying to change some life patterns so getting some answers could be helpful.

That’s why I’m asking about my Venus. I noticed I have aspects from Chiron to my Venus (sextile) and Mars too (conjunction). My ascendant is highly aspected too, I’m not sure how it can affect me and my relationships.

Also, my Venus is in the 8th or 7th depending on house systems, and I do feel some of the 7th house traits (I feel both, in 8th and 7th), but I guess that could be because my moon is in the 7th…

I’m not going to say much more or it will become a really long post, although I have lots to say regarding this subject, so please feel free to ask me anything! And sorry for any typo, English is not my first language.

Thanks for reading!

Hi there. Would you mind posting your birth date, birth time and birth city/country? I would like to bring your chart up on my computer and look at other details. I see you already got some great feedback. I may add something though. Thank you!
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Unread 01-11-2020, 03:46 PM
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I do that, the more unattainable they seem, the more I feel the pull, it's just not healthy. It also feels like a challenge, which I like, until it starts being painful.
Aries thrives on challenges. Aries Venus makes those challenges about Venusian things. Love, for instance.

Your Venus needs another kind of challenge. What can you do that's challenging and Venusian and has nothing to do with snaring a love interest?

Art, health, or any way to make things nicer comes to mind. Are any of those things you can use to challenge yourself?

If Venus is engaged in a functional way, she won't have so much energy to act in a non-functional way.

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What's been hard is to find someone who is independent but also stable and loyal.
Are you stable and loyal?

We attract people who reflect ourselves. If you can't find someone stable and loyal, that most likely reflects instability (or lack of loyalty, or both) in yourself.

If you do see yourself as stable and loyal, then these people are reflecting your shadow side.
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Last edited by Osamenor; 01-11-2020 at 03:47 PM. Reason: Merged my own posts. No need for two separate ones when they're responses to the same post.
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Unread 01-11-2020, 06:21 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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Actually your Venus has some minor dignity going for it by being within its terms/bounds.
Can you elaborate this a bit more? What does it mean to be within its terms/bounds? I'm new here so I'm not familiar with some terms

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What stood out to me in your chart is that the ascendant is critical Virgo with its ruler Mercury being in a fixed opposition with Pluto. This probably creates an intense mental power dynamic with your partner since Venus is the depositor for Mercury.
It's possible, I'm not too familiar with this aspect yet but I've noticed that communication and the way I express myself is often an issue in my relationships.

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Your desire to change the dynamic is probably the result of transiting Uranus conjunct your Venus. By whole sign, I see this happening across your 3rd house 9th house axis. Uranus conjunct Mercury in the 9th house could signify your interest in Astrology and using it to change your stuck patterns.
Interesting. My interest started a few months ago, mostly because I felt this urge and need to change my life and transform myself into a better version of me. I kind of feel like i'm not using my full potential, and I need to understand myself better in order to improve, so astrology has been helpful.

Thank you for your insights!

Last edited by whiteoak; 01-11-2020 at 07:15 PM.
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Unread 01-11-2020, 07:09 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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Hi there. Would you mind posting your birth date, birth time and birth city/country? I would like to bring your chart up on my computer and look at other details. I see you already got some great feedback. I may add something though. Thank you!
Hi,

Thanks, I appreciate it. I don't mind send it to you by private message, can I do that? I just prefer to keep it private because I kind of feel that I am already exposing myself too much sorry I can be a bit paranoid with my privacy. Later you could post your reply in this thread, of course.
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Unread 01-11-2020, 08:14 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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Hi,

Thanks, I appreciate it. I don't mind send it to you by private message, can I do that? I just prefer to keep it private because I kind of feel that I am already exposing myself too much sorry I can be a bit paranoid with my privacy. Later you could post your reply in this thread, of course.

Sure. That's great. I'll keep it private.
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Unread 01-11-2020, 09:43 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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Can you elaborate this a bit more? What does it mean to be within its terms/bounds? I'm new here so I'm not familiar with some terms
Traditional astrology has a system of essential dignities that evaluates the dignities (functionality) of planets in the chart. For instance, your Venus in Aries is considered to be in detriment because it is opposite Libra which is what Venus rules. There are other dignities to consider such as decan or face which divides each sign into 3 parts, triplicities which look at the relationship of elements to each other and Terms which divides the sign into 5 planetary rulerships which are considered to be how the planet implements it's function - its bounds or boundaries. Your Venus is within the Venus bounds which allows it to function more properly in Venus types of activities. It helps offset its detriment. Hope that helps.
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Unread 01-12-2020, 02:17 AM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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Traditional astrology has a system of essential dignities that evaluates the dignities (functionality) of planets in the chart. For instance, your Venus in Aries is considered to be in detriment because it is opposite Libra which is what Venus rules. There are other dignities to consider such as decan or face which divides each sign into 3 parts, triplicities which look at the relationship of elements to each other and Terms which divides the sign into 5 planetary rulerships which are considered to be how the planet implements it's function - its bounds or boundaries. Your Venus is within the Venus bounds which allows it to function more properly in Venus types of activities. It helps offset its detriment. Hope that helps.
It helped, I will take a look into that, thank you!
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Unread 01-12-2020, 02:31 AM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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Aries thrives on challenges. Aries Venus makes those challenges about Venusian things. Love, for instance.

Your Venus needs another kind of challenge. What can you do that's challenging and Venusian and has nothing to do with snaring a love interest?

Art, health, or any way to make things nicer comes to mind. Are any of those things you can use to challenge yourself?

If Venus is engaged in a functional way, she won't have so much energy to act in a non-functional way.
That's a good question. I do want to focus more in work, which happens to be in a creative field that can be challenging, I want to excel at that. But besides the creativity part it's still work, so I'm not sure if it's valid... I never thought about it before. You just gave me something to think about.


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Are you stable and loyal?

We attract people who reflect ourselves. If you can't find someone stable and loyal, that most likely reflects instability (or lack of loyalty, or both) in yourself.

If you do see yourself as stable and loyal, then these people are reflecting your shadow side.
I do see myself as a loyal person, yes. I'm not so sure about the stable part, I think I can be stable most of the time, but sometimes I can get caught up in my emotions too.

The shadow side is an interesting perspective...
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Unread 01-12-2020, 04:00 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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I do see myself as a loyal person, yes. I'm not so sure about the stable part, I think I can be stable most of the time, but sometimes I can get caught up in my emotions too.

The shadow side is an interesting perspective...
You have a lot of earth in your chart. Sun, rising, and chart ruler all in earth signs. That does make for stability.

But there likely is a part of you that wants to be able to throw it all to the winds, go and come as you please, and not worry about pesky things like commitments that tie you down. That part would be coming from your Pisces Moon. If you yourself have too much sense of responsibility and loyalty to do that, you call in people who can do it for you. (Except they don't really do it for you if their instability and lack of loyalty means they disappear on you.)

Recognizing all those parts of yourself helps. And yes, creative work, if you can get lost in it and come back when you need to.
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  #21  
Unread 01-13-2020, 01:22 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

[QUOTE=whiteoak;1020734]Hey everyone!

This is my first post regarding my chart. I have many questions, but I’m quite intrigued with my Venus in Aries (detriment) AND in 8th house, since relationships have always been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. They can be magical, but painful. So my question is, how challenging is this placement? It seems like a lousy placement for Venus, am I right?

I seem to have no luck in love, I always attracted and felt attracted to the wrong guys (I’m a woman btw) and with time I’ve realised that it was becoming a pattern (which I'm trying to avoid now, but the attraction is still there). My timing always seems to be off too. Even friendships have been difficult, somehow I tend to alienate everyone or loose contact, so in the present I have very few close friends and it’s been hard to meet new people - this goes for friendships or potential lovers. The thing is, I seem to oscillate between feeling kind of "popular" (for lack of a better word because I’m not the popular type, but I do stand out sometimes), in the sense of people noticing me and being drawn to me, to moments when I feel completely invisible and uninteresting.

I know that there are many things that can contribute to this, but maybe there’s something in my chart too? I am trying to change some life patterns so getting some answers could be helpful.

That’s why I’m asking about my Venus. I noticed I have aspects from Chiron to my Venus (sextile) and Mars too (conjunction). My ascendant is highly aspected too, I’m not sure how it can affect me and my relationships.

Also, my Venus is in the 8th or 7th depending on house systems, and I do feel some of the 7th house traits (I feel both, in 8th and 7th), but I guess that could be because my moon is in the 7th… QUOTE)

Dear Whiteoak,
First of all, I suspect (don’t think there are any studies on this) that it is more common than not that young men are slow to commit or are in some way unavailable – even into their 30s. However, there are the ones who commit and marry, so the question is still a valid one. Why am I choosing unavailable men?

Jupiter is the traditional ruler of Pisces, the sign on your 7th house of marriage. Jupiter can exaggerate “things’. Pisces has a big imagination, is highly intuitive and empathic. Your Moon is there, accentuating Piscean energy. Pisces -Jupiter can see into people’s potential when on the 7th. In fact, the potential of a person seems very real to us. So, when we are relating to a potential partner and see the potential as a real thing, we can actually be attracted to what isn’t real yet – and may not actually come to pass. And our potential partner may somehow feel unseen, as he may not be attuned to that potential yet. This is actually difficult to describe – because it’s such a subtle thing. But Pisces gives a lot of space for imagination to run free, and I think when it comes to relationships, people want to be felt, seen, and heard as they themselves see themselves. Pisces tends to connect in love “out there” in a more spiritual sense rather than along concrete, practical ways. And that gives a natural instability. Someone with a strong Piscean presence in his chart, will more likely like your style of loving. It can be scary and maybe even weird to others who do not.

Jupiter is also thought of as the woman’s marriage partner in the chart. Your Jupiter is in Aquarius – the “I’ve got to be me” planet. That means, your man is highly individualistic. His focus is on becoming his own unique self. He’s a kind of rebel and “different”. Aquarius is ruled traditionally by Saturn, so it’s possible he could commit – but these types can be independent and not into doing the traditional thing – which might include marriage. He will need a lot of room and independence in a relationship. He could seem quite distant or aloof to you. Of course, it’s difficult to say much more without knowing more about any potential partner’s chart.

Your chart indicates that you strongly value communicating your emotions with south node conjunct Saturn in 3rd. This would no doubt be important in a relationship. A Jupiter-Aquarius guy may or may not be so focused – depending upon the rest of his chart. He could be more focused upon himself and his own creative projects. Relationship may be his second love, rather than his first. Jupiter is square your Nodes. My guess is, you may need to develop a less emotional approach to your potential partners. By focusing on working toward your North Node in Taurus, 9th house – perhaps that we make you more attractive to the guys you are attracted to. Taurus is more peaceful, not into emoting emotions at all. Your Sun is in Taurus giving you total access to Taurus energy. Taurus wants it simple and easy. It wants it calm. It wants it harmonious.

A Jupiter in Aquarius is going to be a bit nervous – electric – restless. He needs calm and not many demands put upon him. And you need that too. It’s your Jupiter. Anyway, this is one way to read the difficulty. Hope this helps a bit.
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  #22  
Unread 01-13-2020, 10:33 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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Jupiter is the traditional ruler of Pisces, the sign on your 7th house of marriage. Jupiter can exaggerate “things’. Pisces has a big imagination, is highly intuitive and empathic. Your Moon is there, accentuating Piscean energy. Pisces -Jupiter can see into people’s potential when on the 7th. In fact, the potential of a person seems very real to us. So, when we are relating to a potential partner and see the potential as a real thing, we can actually be attracted to what isn’t real yet – and may not actually come to pass. And our potential partner may somehow feel unseen, as he may not be attuned to that potential yet. This is actually difficult to describe – because it’s such a subtle thing. But Pisces gives a lot of space for imagination to run free, and I think when it comes to relationships, people want to be felt, seen, and heard as they themselves see themselves.
I see what you mean... I wonder if I ever saw someone as they really are, because only recently I realised that I often see what I want to see and not the reality, I really wasn't aware of that before. I probably missed a lot too I'm not sure if I will be able to control this the next time, since it's so unconscious, but I will definitely try...

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Originally Posted by Harmelia View Post
Pisces tends to connect in love “out there” in a more spiritual sense rather than along concrete, practical ways. And that gives a natural instability. Someone with a strong Piscean presence in his chart, will more likely like your style of loving. It can be scary and maybe even weird to others who do not.
Haha I can see that, the weird part. Yes, maybe I scare them... But I've also got the opposite feedback, like not being into them enough or not doing enough, I guess it really depends on the person, where we are at the moment in life and what we feel about them, of course. I think this only happened when I wasn't really into them, indeed, not feeling it deeply enough, they were right, because when I am I can probably be too much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmelia View Post
Jupiter is also thought of as the woman’s marriage partner in the chart. Your Jupiter is in Aquarius – the “I’ve got to be me” planet. That means, your man is highly individualistic. His focus is on becoming his own unique self. He’s a kind of rebel and “different”. Aquarius is ruled traditionally by Saturn, so it’s possible he could commit – but these types can be independent and not into doing the traditional thing – which might include marriage. He will need a lot of room and independence in a relationship. He could seem quite distant or aloof to you. Of course, it’s difficult to say much more without knowing more about any potential partner’s chart.
That makes sense. But I can also be like that, so I get it. There's two sides of me and one of them is also individualistic and not so much into traditional things, but then there's the other side of me that makes me kind of a hopeless romantic and also a bit possessive... Sometimes I really don't know what I want.

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Originally Posted by Harmelia View Post
Your chart indicates that you strongly value communicating your emotions with south node conjunct Saturn in 3rd. This would no doubt be important in a relationship. A Jupiter-Aquarius guy may or may not be so focused – depending upon the rest of his chart. He could be more focused upon himself and his own creative projects. Relationship may be his second love, rather than his first. Jupiter is square your Nodes. My guess is, you may need to develop a less emotional approach to your potential partners. By focusing on working toward your North Node in Taurus, 9th house – perhaps that we make you more attractive to the guys you are attracted to. Taurus is more peaceful, not into emoting emotions at all. Your Sun is in Taurus giving you total access to Taurus energy. Taurus wants it simple and easy. It wants it calm. It wants it harmonious.
Great info here, I am probably too emotional indeed. And I do need more peaceful and harmonious relationships for sure. There's no doubt that I really need to make some changes, so reading this helps a lot.

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Originally Posted by Harmelia View Post
A Jupiter in Aquarius is going to be a bit nervous – electric – restless. He needs calm and not many demands put upon him. And you need that too. It’s your Jupiter. Anyway, this is one way to read the difficulty. Hope this helps a bit.
It was really helpful. Thank you so much for taking your time to do this!


Just one more thing, is it more important to look at the 7th house than Venus for these kind of questions?
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Unread 01-13-2020, 11:32 PM
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Re: Venus in Aries + 8th house

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I see what you mean... I wonder if I ever saw someone as they really are, because only recently I realised that I often see what I want to see and not the reality, I really wasn't aware of that before. I probably missed a lot too I'm not sure if I will be able to control this the next time, since it's so unconscious, but I will definitely try...



Haha I can see that, the weird part. Yes, maybe I scare them... But I've also got the opposite feedback, like not being into them enough or not doing enough, I guess it really depends on the person, where we are at the moment in life and what we feel about them, of course. I think this only happened when I wasn't really into them, indeed, not feeling it deeply enough, they were right, because when I am I can probably be too much.



That makes sense. But I can also be like that, so I get it. There's two sides of me and one of them is also individualistic and not so much into traditional things, but then there's the other side of me that makes me kind of a hopeless romantic and also a bit possessive... Sometimes I really don't know what I want.



Great info here, I am probably too emotional indeed. And I do need more peaceful and harmonious relationships for sure. There's no doubt that I really need to make some changes, so reading this helps a lot.



It was really helpful. Thank you so much for taking your time to do this!


Just one more thing, is it more important to look at the 7th house than Venus for these kind of questions?

Look at everything. The 7th house does rule relationships and where the ruler of the 7th house is in house and sign will be something you want to look at. But truly, it's always the whole chart - that you need to understand to answer any question properly. It all adds up.
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