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  #1  
Unread 11-20-2019, 02:51 PM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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In a very bad patch of my life....

I am running through a very rough patch in my life since 2018. I have been married for 26 years and in 2018 I separated from my husband. Last year in Sep I even lost my position and had to accept another role in my organization which was like taking a step down in my career. I moved to another city in Nov 2019 and met someone there.

I felt that I had found true love but now when I moved back to my city, the distance became an issue and we moved away from each other. I am trying to change jobs but that's not working as well. So in short both my professional and personal life are not working. I am in deep pain. Have been taking anti-depressant since Aug last year.

Every time something seems to work well. it gets snatched. My husband is not willing to legally divorce me either. I am afraid that I might have a nervous breakdown soon enough.

Could you please help me read my chart? I want to know if this is going to resolve both on professional and personal level. How long is this phase going to last. I feel like I am drowning.....
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  #2  
Unread 11-25-2019, 01:30 PM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Hi, Could someone please have a look at my chart? I know everyone is trying to help as much as possible but I would request anyone who has some time to guide me a bit in this difficult hour of my Life.

Many thanks.
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  #3  
Unread 11-25-2019, 07:07 PM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Sat-rahu NNode aries 8th, hyper-impulsive,
toxic health issues head-urological etc, rise-fall in life,
prayers to ancestors, observe fast on No-moon evenings,
observe death anniversaries religiously,
donate and serve at old age homes, and old people in family-society;
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

Jup-mars-ketu SNode 2nd libra, detachment from family-finances,
pain-injury-surgery throat-teeth-kidneys-adbominals etc;

Sat-ketu now transit venus cap 5th opp moon
under much emotional stress, seeking change but stuck,
craving for affections but difficult to manifest,
detachment from luck-edu-romance-children-position;
pain-injury-surgery heart-stomach-knees etc,
offer red flowers at the alter at home fri evenings;


Sooner jup transits cap opp moon transit venus,
which may be good for relationship; venus lord 9th for luck;
venus cap may not be expressive though,
while may have artistic tastes;

jup effective mid-course april-july 020;
venus lord 9th for luck n 2nd husband;
jup debilated in cap 5th for luck-edu-romance-children-position;
prayers to saint of faith, offer yellow flowers fri evenings;
may wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;



lords 1/9 mer-venus over sag-cap, 2/12, neutral signs
hence quality of mutuality in the relationship neutral however;

ketu next moves to sun-mer sag 4th,
detachment from mother-motherland-property;
pain-injury-surgery heart-stomach-lungs-skin-thighs etc

sun-mer sag optimistic, sportive, ambitious, impulsive, philosophical,
literary-oratory-medical-legal aptitudes;
jup these months transit sun-mer sag 4th;

Sat next moves to own acq 6th,
good for employment;


do promptly ack how true-insightful,
traits-talents-life trends-health-remedies-ideas to pick etc


wishing well, kshantaram
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Last edited by kshantaram; 11-26-2019 at 04:47 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 11-26-2019, 11:40 AM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Hi kshantaram, I can't thank you enough for accommodating me and reading my chart.

As far as my traits are concerned, your reading is spot-on. I am impulsive, emotional and tired of my life situation (actually depressed by it). I want a change and a divorce but in an amicable way and my husband is refusing that. I can't neither bring myself to hurt him nor live with him. I thought that a separation of 2 years would make him realize that I am gone from his life but that hasn't gone home.

The new person in my life doesn't live in the same city as me and is himself in a complicated divorce process. This is not helping either. I am screaming for a change as I feel that I am drowning but my life situation doesn't help.

I wonder if there will be any positive changes in my divorce status and the relationship with this other person. I am also troubled on my professional front and applying for jobs especially in the other city so that I can be together with this new person (and make it more clear to my ex that it is really over). Any light you could shed on this would be immensely appreciated.

Best regards from a very thankful Tina.
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  #5  
Unread 12-05-2019, 11:39 AM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Hi, I would appreciate if someone could put some time to read my chart (many many thanks in advance). The reason for writing this is my acute depression that has hit me since a couple of days. Everything I do is going very wrong and all I am doing is crying non stop. Nothing seems to work let alone succeed. The guy I was seeing is acutely depressed and anxious, his mother is in the hospital on her dealth bed. He wants a time out in our relationship. My ex is not willing to separate amicabily. Feels like all forces are against me. Please please help.
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  #6  
Unread 12-05-2019, 01:16 PM
EarthAirNFire EarthAirNFire is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Hi Tina,
I am sorry to hear of the difficult time you are going through. You are currently experiencing your Chiron return, which I understand can be painful; this is going to be especially evident in the area of relationships, since your natal Chiron is in the seventh house.
You have a T-square with Saturn opposite Mars and both square Moon. This makes for some difficult transits, especially oppositions to your Moon. It so happens that Pluto crossed this spot in your chart last year. The energy of such a transit can be overwhelming as it is felt in multiple areas of life at once, as evidenced by the upheaval you are experiencing.
Furthermore, the Saturn-Pluto conjunction that's happening in Capricorn this year (and that's got everyone so worked up) is going to be hanging out around your natal Venus for quite some time. Saturn will have moved on by the middle of 2021 but it looks like Pluto has some serious work to do and will be "crashing" on your Venus for a few years. The purpose for this is to overhaul your approach to relationships, and your sense of balance therein--the "give and take" that makes relationships work is off-balance, and Pluto is coming to help you fix it. Unfortunately, Pluto's approach can be much like a dentist performing a root canal without anesthesia.
Around the time Pluto is done there (2024), you have a couple other interesting transits: Neptune conjunct natal Chiron, and Chiron conjunct natal Saturn. I will have to do some research to understand these better.
In the meantime, it could be helpful to spend some time at home/with family to recharge your fourth-house sun. Take heart. All these experiences, these heavy transits, are for your personal and spiritual evolution. They are painful, yes, but they all hold the potential to help you grow into the person you are supposed to be. I know that sounds lame when you are suffering. I wish you the best in navigating these tricky waters.
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  #7  
Unread 12-05-2019, 01:36 PM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Thank you so much EarthAirNFire.

I am trying my best to keep calm and be positive. I have never meditated before but I have started it. Not to mention, trying to be as spirutual as possible.

I know it's asking for too much but do you see any relief in my relationships? Any? And when in that case?

Thank you once again from the bottom of my heart.
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  #8  
Unread 12-05-2019, 03:18 PM
EarthAirNFire EarthAirNFire is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Specifically in regard to your current relationship, I cannot say. The Pluto transit of your natal Venus is going to drastically affect your relationship energy, and that process is going to take a number of years. Whether these effects will occur during one single relationship or several, or even a "dry" period of no relationships, will depend on the wounding/issues with which you need to deal and the transformation you need to undergo. There are truths about yourself, your past, maybe even your past LIVES (if you believe in such) that must be brought into your consciousness and dealt with. THAT is the real battle here. You are merely experiencing it through the window of (a) relationship(s).
It is good that you are seeking to grow spiritually, and meditation is an awesome tool, but keep in mind that everyone's spiritual path is different. Some people aren't wired for traditional meditation; they need something more "active," perhaps a repetitive task or a creative pursuit. These are no less valid and you should not feel like you are "less spiritual" if traditional meditation doesn't work for you.
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  #9  
Unread 12-10-2019, 12:50 PM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

I have added the chart of the person I am in relationship with (was, he broke up with me on Friday). I don't know his time of birth and hence chose "unknown time" while casting his birth chart. Could someone if possible look into it and tell me if this relationship is going to continue or is it over? Or any other insight for me.

Many thanks.
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  #10  
Unread 12-11-2019, 01:47 PM
ellie04 ellie04 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Hi Tina, when I read your OP I immediately thought of Neptune and true enough, tNeptune is travelling your 7th house squaring your Sun/Mercury. This transit may cause you to feel a drop in confidence as you feel there's no clear directions and things are confusing, especially in terms of partnerships. Neptune is unfortunately a long transit so the best way to manage it is to just follow the flow and your intuition...

While at the same time, tSaturn/Pluto coming to your Venus. You might be filled with fear and your feelings may become very intense and obsessive. But I think this is a good transit to assess your self-worth, what you need and transform yourself.
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  #11  
Unread 12-11-2019, 08:20 PM
Zora Zora is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina2019 View Post
I am running through a very rough patch in my life since 2018. I have been married for 26 years and in 2018 I separated from my husband. Last year in Sep I even lost my position and had to accept another role in my organization which was like taking a step down in my career. I moved to another city in Nov 2019 and met someone there.

I am trying to change jobs but that's not working as well. So in short both my professional and personal life are not working.

Every time something seems to work well. it gets snatched. My husband is not willing to legally divorce me either.

Hello Tina,

sorry to hear what you are going through - you do have my compassion.

That your husband isn't yet willing to legally get divorced from you is visible in your chart. Mars rules your house of marriage - 8th house- was inconjuncted by transiting saturn nearly whole year - saturn has mariage under him in general.


With your moonnode in 8th house you have fate-like or fated longlasting relationships and transiting uranus still holds on semisextiling your moonnode and on inconjuncting your natal libra uranus for self-liberation support. This transit on your moonnode will hold on until April,11th 2021.

With t-uranus natal uranus transit also your own work is concerned and activated for a change - as uranus rules your 6th house - work and health.


Unfortunately in your chart print style- house cusps are missing and it is impossible to reproduce your chart in own system and style being familiar to work with - for more support and help for you - due to unreadable birth location and year of birth. Could you perhaps repost it taken form astro.com with transits on outer circle ?
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  #12  
Unread 12-13-2019, 11:43 AM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

I have uploaded my birth chart and the person I am seeing.

Thanks for your input/reflections.
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  #13  
Unread 12-13-2019, 07:52 PM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

moons gemini-cancer, 2/12, unfriendly signs n lords mer-moon,
one way traffic, moon likes mercury, mercury does not like moon;
gemini analytical, confused at decision making;
cancer sensitive, possessive;

ascendants aries-virgo, 6/8, unfriendly lords mars-mer, severe conflict;
aries action oriented, impulsive;
virgo critical thinking, self-centred;

charts primarily not compatible to begin with;


may share your own reflections by experience,
while chasing the relationship;

moon cancer compatible with moons cancer, scorpio, pisces.



kshantaram
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  #14  
Unread 12-14-2019, 01:40 PM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshantaram View Post
moons gemini-cancer, 2/12, unfriendly signs n lords mer-moon,
one way traffic, moon likes mercury, mercury does not like moon;
gemini analytical, confused at decision making;
cancer sensitive, possessive;
Could you please explain what you mean by "one way traffic"? He was very determined to make our relationship work until Nov this year. Suddenly he wasn't sure and depressed due to all challenges thrown at him by his family...

ascendants aries-virgo, 6/8, unfriendly lords mars-mer, severe conflict;
aries action oriented, impulsive;
virgo critical thinking, self-centred; I guess this is my chart since I am the impulsive one...

charts primarily not compatible to begin with;We were together for about a year and things were very good between us. We have at times a psychic connection and understand each other very well. But in Nov it suddenly took a bad turn. His mother is very critical, his wife(he is separated from her) is not giving him an easy divorce and his kids are not supporting him. He felt a lot was happening in his life and wanted a time-out.
My husband is not giving me divorce either at times pleading and at times almost threating.....So it's a very difficult phase for me


may share your own reflections by experience,
while chasing the relationship;

moon cancer compatible with moons cancer, scorpio, pisces.



kshantaram
Thank you so much for taking out time for me and helping me in this extremely life changing period. At times I have no desire to live....
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  #15  
Unread 12-14-2019, 06:07 PM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

[QUOTE=kshantaram;1012008]
jup year ahead transits cap opp moon transit venus,
which may be good for relationship; venus lord 9th for luck;
venus cap may not be expressive though,
while may have artistic tastes;

jup effective mid-course april-july 020;
venus lord 9th for luck n 2nd husband;
jup debilated in cap 5th for luck-edu-romance-children-position;
prayers to saint of faith, offer yellow flowers fri evenings;
may wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;


lords 1/9 mer-venus over sag-cap, 2/12, neutral signs
hence quality of mutuality in the relationship neutral however;


Moon cancer compatible with moons cancer, sorpio, pisces


wishing you well, kshantaram
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  #16  
Unread 12-14-2019, 10:31 PM
freeadia freeadia is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Hi Tina,
I am not good at interpreting transits or progression, so I cannot help about why this is hapening in your life now.
I studied mostly the meaning of natal chart.
Regarding this, North Node in 8th house is by definition spiritual and involves renewal through loss and freedom through sublimation. If you didn’t actively searched for spiritual meanings in your life, the transformation may come through crises. In Aries is touching your identity at the most personal level.
Knowing that almost all the people on Earth get partial satisfaction and realization of what the soul desire, it is resonable to think that from a transcedental perspective the purpose of an individual in a lifetime is a constructive process with a far reaching target.
South Node in Libra show you have amazing skills of cooperation and innate diplomacy. Virgo ascendant speaks about an organized personality, with very good mental capacity and predisposition to stress from anxiety (for imaginary reason). Cancer Moon means you are naturally attuned to your and (11th house) others emotions.
Sun in Saggitarius is an optimistic and beneficial position to have. Saggitarians have a natural joy and benevolence when is not distructed by ambitions rooted in pseudovalues when Soul have no voice for the choices that are made. Personality is constructed like a garment over the soul, if not harmonious (and never is, because personality is a result of social interaction combined with soul predisposition and familial imprints) then a hidden continuous battle arises between soul and personality. Most of the time personality win with the cost of losing of the inner voice.
My perception is that the biggest problem to face the challenges (that came naturally in your way) is Pluto in the first house. You live with the illusion of control. This is great to have when you find yourself in a position of authority because you have an inherent self-control that others find to be compelling.
This illusion of control, is what is to be destroyed at some moment in life. Unless your will is rooted in universal compassion and cosmic consciousness (and who knows if this is always enough) the illusion may be replaced with surrender to a higher instance and a subsequent consciousness growing. As a product of a certain kind of society, we carry its weakness, the inflation of the Ego over the soul dimension. Or maybe I am wrong, there is no soul, the society is a jungle in the cosmic crucible that recycle material substance with no higher purpose. It may be of help for you to contemplate the concept of self-sufficiency. The moments of change are painfull, because we all tend to cling to the conventional truth and comfort.
So, first problem. Ex-husband doesn’t want the formal divorce. Well, what do you value, the freedom you have or what people say, or who is the final decident of the fait accompli? As long as he want to keep you at an arm’s lenght and you already looked for somebody else, have you done it for yourself or for him?
What is the meaning of an ending of a relationship from a soul perspective? Is this all that was to be good between the two of you? Depending the answer, you should know what attitude is correct for both of you. Blaming him helps no one. You may think about accepting his unaaceptance with the friendship that kept you close for so long.
Second problem, the position changing to the job. As long as you ar good at your job, you will always find someone to appreciate and to pay you for the work you do. The attachement that comes with time, and 1st house Pluto, shows you have difficulty with changes (we all have at some degree, is in our genes and in physics – the first principle of newtonian mechanic).
When you are in pain you should look for ways to feed your Moon and 4th house. Moon in cancer speaks about sensibility and empathy, and in 11th house you tend to mother everyone. Moon in cancer is very sensible and also easily to hurt. In retreating within yourself you should find peace. There, you might find the power to define your role in the context of a new relationship, new job, and etc.
I think that personal challenges that are symptomatic through illneses, solitude or depression call for adjustments toward ourselves.
When the challenging is on the relations, romantic, familial, job, when others are also decisional factors, is more like an adjustment toward the others. You may use your South Node supporting ability to grasp what adjustment is needed to regain harmony.
The story you tell to yourself about the past may also be in terms of „how I am always following my heart”.
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  #17  
Unread 12-15-2019, 11:31 AM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Thank you so much Freeadia.
I felt like someone was showing me a mirror while reading your post. I have been actually looking for my purpose in life both within and outside for some time now (since 2011) . My family left that I had hit a mid-life crisis but I felt differently. I started looking for answers in spiritual and life coaching books, workshops on past life and also started having dreams re my search. I started questioning all my relationships incl my marriage. I discovered that it was a marriage of comfort where I managed our home perfectly and my husband provided almost everything. There was not much love (concern for each other, yes) and he wanted this arrangement coz I was mothering him. My career in the meantime was going good and my job is my passion (not a 9-5 thing). After a lot of struggle, we separated in the beginning of 2018 where I felt that he was not willing to change, everything had to be HIS way (even his love and concern which still does exist no doubt). My job took a deep dive and I moved to another city. This was end of last year and where I met this new person. We clicked on all levels especially on the spiritual level. In Nov this year my assignment ended there and I was forced to move back home. Everything has been wrong this then.
A long post but to answer your question, I want a divorce so that both me and my husband can move forward, find love if possible and still be friends. After all we spent 26 beautiful years together and have 2 wonderful grown up kids. But he just can’t agree to that. I know he is scared of a life without me and so am I but we will only be bitter together.
My work is still my passion but I am unable to get the opportunity that exists. Always seem to miss those jobs by a hair.
This new person in my life is suddenly gone and that hurts to say the least. He admits that he still loves me but a lot is happening in his life. So a time-out is best. This is of course killing me and him (so I hear).
Why do all doors close at the same time.....
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Unread 12-15-2019, 03:32 PM
freeadia freeadia is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Hi Tina, it seems to me that you have your psyche connected to consciousness and you understand your emotional need and of those around you. You are truly passing through turbulent and important change this time. Maybe the key words are patience and priorities. Things will work on your side at some moment. It is possible for you to have unrealistic expectation from the relation you started last year? From other point of view, the test of time is a confirmation of the stability of feelings and also struggles favor the foundation of trust. Progress comes after a transit zone through uncertainity and this is what your 1st house Pluto is terrified of. It provoke in you the development of patience and resilience on the behalf of your native wisdom-seeking saggitarian Sun.
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Unread 12-15-2019, 08:37 PM
Tina2019 Tina2019 is offline
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Re: In a very bad patch of my life....

Thanks again Freeadia.

Strange that you choose to use the words "patience" and "resilience". It seems like quite a coincidence since this is what has been going through my mind since a couple of weeks. Maybe I see too much of a pattern and reason in everything.....
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