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  #6351  
Unread 02-12-2018, 08:57 AM
Boston Guy Boston Guy is offline
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Re: Chat Thread

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Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post
God, I've had this monstrosity of a migraine since I woke up. I may need to fully create a diet around my migraines because I get them very frequently and I know my body is very sensitive. Any change in sleep patterns, I get headaches too. The only thing I can think is to eradicate as much as possible unnatural foods
Old Dr. McGillicuddy will help ya. Be a good fellow. You said you can't attain the self-control to master alcohol? Take that as a challenge. Defeat, defeat, defeat shall be your opponents cry. Have just a couple drinks, go to bed, and tell me I'm a liar. Victory should be your battle cry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30maUSGYPXQ

There's a good lad.

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  #6352  
Unread 02-12-2018, 09:03 AM
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Old Dr. McGillicuddy will help ya. Be a good fellow. You said you can't attain the self-control to master alcohol? Take that as a challenge. Defeat, defeat, defeat shall be your opponents cry. Have just a couple drinks, go to bed, and tell me I'm a liar. Victory should be your battle cry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30maUSGYPXQ

There's a good lad.
I honestly have substance abuse issues I need to contain. If it's not alcohol, it's pills. I need a good period of abstainance from both

I'm telling you. Sometimes when I start, the beast within is released and doesn't just want more, it needs more

Kudos to those who can do it tho. I've always known myself to be an addictive kinda person so I should never have started in the first place, but I never listen to my own best advice

Also I'm female 😘
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  #6353  
Unread 02-12-2018, 09:04 AM
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Naturally, the migraine went away as soon as I mentioned it here. Power of bitching. Sorry to whoever the demon got released to
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  #6354  
Unread 02-12-2018, 09:15 AM
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I became curious about drugs at around 19. Started with all I could get. Some little tramadol that made me feel nothing. Somewhere along the way, I discovered cough syrup. Not lean. Cough syrup will make you disassociate and see ****. I went into kidney failure and spent my 21st birthday in the hospital. Not only that, but I was getting involved with petty thievery and losing track of myself at school. That's around when I tattooed my hands. I started drinking to get off cough syrup. Great replacement. I'd frequently blackout and wake up on the sofa. Then I got into pills, painkillers. Pretty soon I was mixing klonopin and painkillers and briefly, adderall. I tried coke for the first time around then with my ex as she had a lot of partier friends and was a struggling addict herself. That was early last year. Almost a year ago. I felt myself losing control then. I knew on thay trajectory I was losing myself to the drugs

With substance abuse, you don't only deal in your own physical body, but your spiritual self. I want to be a writer... I can't if I'm not gonna let myself feel me and who I am, know myself, let naturw take its course. I originally started by the foolish notion I could explore parts of my mind otherwise shut away and that they'd enhance creativity. It's the opposite when it becomes illness. It's total inhibition of self

I'm just not the kinda person who can do a little bit. I go all or nothing

Even tho my recent overdose that almost killed me was on purpose, I think it was an eye opener and will be a key experience in my being clean because I realize how fragile I am

Last edited by Lykanized; 02-12-2018 at 09:18 AM.
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  #6355  
Unread 02-12-2018, 01:04 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

Catching up on Chat Thread.

Medieval torture methods I remember learning about one called the singing bull. Some King long ago requested his inventor to make a torture advice for the worst criminals. The inventor came up with the singing bull made of brass that heats up and the criminal is put inside the body of the bull. As the person screams there is a complicated structure of pipes that turn the screams into the sound of pleasant sounding noises.

The king saw the invention and instead of using it on criminals he used it first on the inventor himself although there are versions that say the King let him out before he died.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazen_bull

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  #6356  
Unread 02-12-2018, 01:12 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

Now this reminds me of The Warden by Chelsea Wolfe. I love that song because it's a love song, but it describes falling in love as something torturous, literally torturous
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  #6357  
Unread 02-12-2018, 01:26 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

I will look it up
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  #6358  
Unread 02-12-2018, 01:45 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

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I will look it up
She's pretty unique because she has such a sweet voice, but she combines it with harsher music genres and depressing lyrics and experiments with goth, electronic, amongst others. I read that she resented the fact she didn't have a brash rock voice like Kurt Cobain or something, but she just rocks her own voice
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  #6359  
Unread 02-12-2018, 01:51 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiwBe8GX-HU

"The saw in the hands it's white as snow
The heavy endless weight on my heels it's cold
The water on my head but I won't speak of you
The hall and the rack and the wheel, it's true

And when it turns the hole in my vision fills with you

The cold and the loud and they won't let me sleep
I've been dragged on the floor and my blood earns my keep
My body holds a picture of the sun - it's you
The warden bore a hole in my skull, it's true
Tore off my limbs and my breasts
The heart, it's heavy in the chest

And when it turns the hole in my vision fills with you

(Hole, rack, wheel, time
Heart, thorn, knees, blight
Hand, hold, bright white
Whole head feels light)

Tore off my limbs and my breasts
The heart, it's heavy in the chest
Pulled out my tongue so I can't speak the truth
The picture in my vision, it's the sun, it's you"

It's so wow...Such intense and harsh lyrics, but it's about love. It's like what they say in writing. Show it, don't tell. A lot of writers wouldn't be so shameless in their imagery of feeling so tortured by this obsession and love
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  #6360  
Unread 02-12-2018, 04:03 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

Show it don't tell, that is such a good way to describe how to write.

She is drowning but she still wont speak a bad word about him. Tore of her limbs and her breast, she cant get away and she doesn't feel like a woman and all she sees is him. Wow.

Show don't tell. We should try write a poem with showing and not telling. I could not write as good as that though!
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  #6361  
Unread 02-12-2018, 04:20 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

Where is the option to change the picture avatar everyone sees? I have looked twice now even though I have done it once before.

Edit avatar lol

Last edited by Ukpoohbear; 02-12-2018 at 04:25 PM.
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  #6362  
Unread 02-12-2018, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Show it don't tell, that is such a good way to describe how to write.

She is drowning but she still wont speak a bad word about him. Tore of her limbs and her breast, she cant get away and she doesn't feel like a woman and all she sees is him. Wow.

Show don't tell. We should try write a poem with showing and not telling. I could not write as good as that though!
That's the first general rule you ever learn in a writing class. It's related to staying away from abstractions like 'love' and 'hate'. They can be used, but wisely. Because the word 'love' is basically meaningless to us so to say you're in love...No one else will feel it and you want them to. What does that love make you feel? What symbols come to mind? An exercise sometimes used is to write about an abstraction like 'love' without ever once mentioning 'love'. Reminds me.. we had this one exercise I'll never forget where we had to describe a barn from the perspective of a man who lost his son at war, but you can't mention the son or the death or even the war

It's not related, but another brilliant exercise we once had was to write from the perapective of someone we hate, but empathetically. A lot of people could not do it. Their writing was still so muddled with that hatred. But I did it and it actually made me cry. I believe we categorize people so easily as good or bad as a defense mechanism, because it's easy. It makes us not have to be foeced with the possibilities that someone we hate or dislike may be like us. It gets to the point we may even dehumanize others as with racism or someone has abused us
But there are always multiple angles. There's always humanity
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  #6363  
Unread 02-12-2018, 06:40 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

The transit moon is Trine my moon and conjunct my sun. This moon is going to be conjunct transit Pluto, whilst my native Pluto is Contra-parallel my moon. Ughhhh feelings.
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  #6364  
Unread 02-12-2018, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post
I honestly have substance abuse issues I need to contain. If it's not alcohol, it's pills. I need a good period of abstainance from both

I'm telling you. Sometimes when I start, the beast within is released and doesn't just want more, it needs more

Kudos to those who can do it tho. I've always known myself to be an addictive kinda person so I should never have started in the first place, but I never listen to my own best advice

Also I'm female 😘
I have no idea how old you are, nor would I think of asking a female that, but I trust in time you might be able to conquer addiction via moderation.
See I don't like being told "can't". And when my mind says "Look here, boyo, you've had enough for tonight" Another part of my mind wakes up, gets a bit angry at the side saying I've had enough and says "You think that's enough? I'll show you enough, and then one more!" I'm no rebel, and I'm not big into non-conforming. But I would say that I like to accept challenges placed upon me.

Thankfully when I'm at bars, I typically go places where I know the bartender. When I get shut off, I get angry. I leave politely, but you better believe a wall is getting punched when I get home.

Also regarding you being a female, forgive me. Whenever I don't know the sex of a person, I automatically default to male pronouns. Also this might also have something to do with your inability to hold your liquor; typically girls are less able in the sport of drinking. Cheers all the same though!
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  #6365  
Unread 02-12-2018, 08:35 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

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I have no idea how old you are, nor would I think of asking a female that, but I trust in time you might be able to conquer addiction via moderation.
See I don't like being told "can't". And when my mind says "Look here, boyo, you've had enough for tonight" Another part of my mind wakes up, gets a bit angry at the side saying I've had enough and says "You think that's enough? I'll show you enough, and then one more!" I'm no rebel, and I'm not big into non-conforming. But I would say that I like to accept challenges placed upon me.

Thankfully when I'm at bars, I typically go places where I know the bartender. When I get shut off, I get angry. I leave politely, but you better believe a wall is getting punched when I get home.

Also regarding you being a female, forgive me. Whenever I don't know the sex of a person, I automatically default to male pronouns. Also this might also have something to do with your inability to hold your liquor; typically girls are less able in the sport of drinking. Cheers all the same though!
No, I can hold my liquor lol. I even impress middle aged men, and I'm a 24 year old woman, btw. But regardless of how well you can hold your liquor, there's always a point at which you're gonna black out. And what I mean is that a part of me wants to push myself as hard as I can until I get to that point, and another part of me doesn't know how to shut off

I may get there in time, but I can't really think about that right now. I can't think about drinking at all because I don't know how to drink like a healthy person. You're lucky that you can. That's all I can say. But I can't be pushed in that direction because I don't see the point of drinking unless I'm gonna feel it, and if I'm gonna feel it, I'm gonna wanna feel it as much as possible

Men just tend to weigh more, that's all

I'm telling myself I can't. And that's that. I can't. It's not healthy for me
Even talking about this really isn't so good for me. So maybe I should stop

Last edited by Lykanized; 02-12-2018 at 08:47 PM.
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  #6366  
Unread 02-12-2018, 08:41 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

I find that there's no way for me to be a drinker and to also engage my life like I need to be. It's diametrically opposed to the kinda growth I need right now and to my ability to focus on what I need to focus on. I've been struggling in various ways for my whole life and I'm very serious right now about taking control
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  #6367  
Unread 02-13-2018, 04:44 AM
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Re: Chat Thread

Random note I did ancestry.com DNA test.
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  #6368  
Unread 02-13-2018, 05:39 AM
ConfusedCrab ConfusedCrab is offline
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Random note I did ancestry.com DNA test.
Nice,
Results?
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  #6369  
Unread 02-13-2018, 06:03 AM
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Re: Chat Thread

I've been wanting to do one of those but, meh. Whatever. Probably a waste of money unless I have some to waste. I'll just settle on Hispanic with some French and German. People have occasionally thought I was part Asian for some reason, tho lol
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  #6370  
Unread 02-13-2018, 06:04 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post
That's the first general rule you ever learn in a writing class. It's related to staying away from abstractions like 'love' and 'hate'. They can be used, but wisely. Because the word 'love' is basically meaningless to us so to say you're in love...No one else will feel it and you want them to. What does that love make you feel? What symbols come to mind? An exercise sometimes used is to write about an abstraction like 'love' without ever once mentioning 'love'. Reminds me.. we had this one exercise I'll never forget where we had to describe a barn from the perspective of a man who lost his son at war, but you can't mention the son or the death or even the war

It's not related, but another brilliant exercise we once had was to write from the perapective of someone we hate, but empathetically. A lot of people could not do it. Their writing was still so muddled with that hatred. But I did it and it actually made me cry. I believe we categorize people so easily as good or bad as a defense mechanism, because it's easy. It makes us not have to be foeced with the possibilities that someone we hate or dislike may be like us. It gets to the point we may even dehumanize others as with racism or someone has abused us
But there are always multiple angles. There's always humanity
I am going to try those two exercises and I will get back to you.

The humanity exercise should be especially interesting.
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  #6371  
Unread 02-13-2018, 09:01 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

Can any hints of culture and heritage be found in our natal charts?
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  #6372  
Unread 02-13-2018, 10:09 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

Heritage and ancestors is the Imum Coeli
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  #6373  
Unread 02-13-2018, 10:27 PM
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Heritage and ancestors is the Imum Coeli
Any specific cultures or areas located with specific signs and or aspects do u think?
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  #6374  
Unread 02-13-2018, 11:01 PM
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Re: Chat Thread

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Any specific cultures or areas located with specific signs and or aspects do u think?
Well, maybe specific cultures you could look into. But the IC is our ancestors so the sign will describe where we come from so say example it is Aries then our family would have violence and conflict or may be courageous. Planets there may indicate our karma. A lot of problems we have have been passed down from our parents, then their parents passed down issues to them etc.

It would be a good q to ask the experienced astrologers.
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  #6375  
Unread 02-13-2018, 11:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Well, maybe specific cultures you could look into. But the IC is our ancestors so the sign will describe where we come from so say example it is Aries then our family would have violence and conflict or may be courageous. Planets there may indicate our karma. A lot of problems we have have been passed down from our parents, then their parents passed down issues to them etc.

It would be a good q to ask the experienced astrologers.
Oh ok. I do have an Aries IC conjunction to Jupiter. The reason y I asked is bc I got my ancestry DNA done. Most of it wasn't surprising 40%Western European (Germany,France, Switzerland etc.) 30% UK (Irish-English-Scottish-Welsh). But suprise I'm 20% Hispanic and idk where it came from (nor does anyone on my blood family). Was wondering if the chart shows it.
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