To cut things short, I've done the chart and am attaching it here, along with the progressed chart.
In the natal chart, we see ascendent in conciliatory libra, gracious and sociable, who looks for a partner. The ruler, Venus, is on the opposite side, not too comfortable in a fiery Aries, and located in the descendent. You put yourself out for your partner. You actually place yourself in your partner! And you do this in a rather self-centred, egotistical way, which is diametrically opposed to the way you present yourself with a libra ascendent, who is always making way for the partner, giving way, denying itself to reach out to the other.
This is combined, in an easy flowing way by trine, with the Leo moon exactly trine Venus. Leo is also fiery and egotistical, although it is always "on stage" it is very generous natured.
Exactly on the cusp of the 11th shows you can draw from friendships, you yearn for friends, and are very generous towards them.
However, moon also squares pluto, the authority, so sometimes you can be a little heavy handed in this, and you tend to abruptly have mood changes, that you do to protect your self esteem, but that can be harsh to others.
We also see Venus, from the descendent squares Uranus. You in reality must be quite attractive, and have a certain glamor or fascination quality.
But at the same time, the square brings unexpected sudden changes, like partners disappearing unexpectedly from one minute to the next. You think you have things under control and going smoothly, and all of a sudden the carpet is drawn from under you!
Uranus is in the 4th so this can be brought about by something in the family, in the home, or something striking a childhood scar. So, you change houses and a partner suddenly vanishes!
This is where it is coming from.
You are feeling this at the moment very strongly, look at the transits, you have mars on that natal Venus in 7th, and you have that stellium in Capricorn that has been passing over your Neptune/uranus in the 4th. These transits are putting your feet to the coals so you can really feel it and do something about it!
Ruler of the descendent is mars, in generous showy Leo, which is very nice. But it is also on Chiron, the wounded healer, so this is an area where you have to learn, from your errors, and through the pain caused.
Your sun is gemini, airy and intellectual, ruled by mercury, strong in gemini. In fact, you write well and express yourself well. And they are near, with their midpoint exactly conjunct, the south node. This shows your past, this shows your "safe space". This is where you retreat when you feel threatened or weak.
However, you should in reality be moving towards the north node, which is the area you have to develop. It is your lifetime goal, your unknown, and it is in sagittarius, in the 3rd house.
Communication to those around you.
This position has to do with travel, and sagittarius has to do also with a spiritual journey.
We return to mercury/sun on the south node in the 9th of the intellect, religion, spirituality, as well as the law and higher learning. You said you studied in a very concentrated way, you retreated to the 9th house node and planet energy. It was the easy way out for you.
Look at the transits. We see that the transiting north node is exactly on natal mercury! Pushing you onwards, forward into unchartered waters, in spite of your desire to stay safe.
And you apparently weren't getting the signals, so the universe sent you a soulmate to push you, with his pushy authoritarian pluto on your north node (opposing your sun/mercury) working to transform your energy. How sweet! If this isn't enough, your mars, ruler of your descendent and partners, sits exactly on his north node! Passion and attraction! So you can't look the other way, turn your head and go away. To top it off, he himself has Uranus on south node, so sudden breakups are his safe space, and he fulfils your Venus/uranus square necessity. So the puzzle pieces fit in together, don't they.
In case it wren't enough for you, his sun is at 12 cancer. Your ascendent and nodes are at the 12th degree. This is a fateful combination. Jacqueline Kennedy had this configuration. So his personality, his ego as represented by his sun, is triggering your ascendent/descendent axis and the nodes. Again, shaking you up until you pay attention and learn the lesson! He was sent to you for this.
And just in case you want to be able to ignore all this, his mars, who rules your descendent and partner type, is in your 7th house. His Uranus, his need for independence and originality, in philosophical humanitarian Aquarius, opposes your mars, in ego minded, attention grabbing leo. Challenging your concept of "partner". Basically, his presence is saying, ok you want the martian energy, you want the weak Venus with uranus, here it is, see if you like it! And in fact, you find it very difficult to live with.
Remember, when we feel good and comfortable, we aren't stimulated to move or grow. Why bother when we are fine as we are. It's when conflict arrives that we feel discomfort and maybe pain, and so are challenged and have to change and grow and face the unknown and find new solutions, learn new truths.
Put the pieces together and weave the cloth and you can see what the universe is trying to tell you,
And as soon as you understand it, your need for him will disappear. As suddenly as it arrived.
To understand why now, look at the progressed chart. Briefly, progressed mars just entered the beginning of virgo and trines your descendent, putting an emphasis on this area of your life. And the descendent itself has just recently changed signs, into taurus, Venus ruled! So we again find the theme repeating itself here.
And why not add the cherry on the top of the cake... that is where transiting Uranus is! It all ties together.
In the natal chart, we see ascendent in conciliatory libra, gracious and sociable, who looks for a partner. The ruler, Venus, is on the opposite side, not too comfortable in a fiery Aries, and located in the descendent. You put yourself out for your partner. You actually place yourself in your partner! And you do this in a rather self-centred, egotistical way, which is diametrically opposed to the way you present yourself with a libra ascendent, who is always making way for the partner, giving way, denying itself to reach out to the other.
This is combined, in an easy flowing way by trine, with the Leo moon exactly trine Venus. Leo is also fiery and egotistical, although it is always "on stage" it is very generous natured.
Exactly on the cusp of the 11th shows you can draw from friendships, you yearn for friends, and are very generous towards them.
However, moon also squares pluto, the authority, so sometimes you can be a little heavy handed in this, and you tend to abruptly have mood changes, that you do to protect your self esteem, but that can be harsh to others.
We also see Venus, from the descendent squares Uranus. You in reality must be quite attractive, and have a certain glamor or fascination quality.
But at the same time, the square brings unexpected sudden changes, like partners disappearing unexpectedly from one minute to the next. You think you have things under control and going smoothly, and all of a sudden the carpet is drawn from under you!
Uranus is in the 4th so this can be brought about by something in the family, in the home, or something striking a childhood scar. So, you change houses and a partner suddenly vanishes!
This is where it is coming from.
You are feeling this at the moment very strongly, look at the transits, you have mars on that natal Venus in 7th, and you have that stellium in Capricorn that has been passing over your Neptune/uranus in the 4th. These transits are putting your feet to the coals so you can really feel it and do something about it!
Ruler of the descendent is mars, in generous showy Leo, which is very nice. But it is also on Chiron, the wounded healer, so this is an area where you have to learn, from your errors, and through the pain caused.
Your sun is gemini, airy and intellectual, ruled by mercury, strong in gemini. In fact, you write well and express yourself well. And they are near, with their midpoint exactly conjunct, the south node. This shows your past, this shows your "safe space". This is where you retreat when you feel threatened or weak.
However, you should in reality be moving towards the north node, which is the area you have to develop. It is your lifetime goal, your unknown, and it is in sagittarius, in the 3rd house.
Communication to those around you.
This position has to do with travel, and sagittarius has to do also with a spiritual journey.
We return to mercury/sun on the south node in the 9th of the intellect, religion, spirituality, as well as the law and higher learning. You said you studied in a very concentrated way, you retreated to the 9th house node and planet energy. It was the easy way out for you.
Look at the transits. We see that the transiting north node is exactly on natal mercury! Pushing you onwards, forward into unchartered waters, in spite of your desire to stay safe.
And you apparently weren't getting the signals, so the universe sent you a soulmate to push you, with his pushy authoritarian pluto on your north node (opposing your sun/mercury) working to transform your energy. How sweet! If this isn't enough, your mars, ruler of your descendent and partners, sits exactly on his north node! Passion and attraction! So you can't look the other way, turn your head and go away. To top it off, he himself has Uranus on south node, so sudden breakups are his safe space, and he fulfils your Venus/uranus square necessity. So the puzzle pieces fit in together, don't they.
In case it wren't enough for you, his sun is at 12 cancer. Your ascendent and nodes are at the 12th degree. This is a fateful combination. Jacqueline Kennedy had this configuration. So his personality, his ego as represented by his sun, is triggering your ascendent/descendent axis and the nodes. Again, shaking you up until you pay attention and learn the lesson! He was sent to you for this.
And just in case you want to be able to ignore all this, his mars, who rules your descendent and partner type, is in your 7th house. His Uranus, his need for independence and originality, in philosophical humanitarian Aquarius, opposes your mars, in ego minded, attention grabbing leo. Challenging your concept of "partner". Basically, his presence is saying, ok you want the martian energy, you want the weak Venus with uranus, here it is, see if you like it! And in fact, you find it very difficult to live with.
Remember, when we feel good and comfortable, we aren't stimulated to move or grow. Why bother when we are fine as we are. It's when conflict arrives that we feel discomfort and maybe pain, and so are challenged and have to change and grow and face the unknown and find new solutions, learn new truths.
Put the pieces together and weave the cloth and you can see what the universe is trying to tell you,
And as soon as you understand it, your need for him will disappear. As suddenly as it arrived.
To understand why now, look at the progressed chart. Briefly, progressed mars just entered the beginning of virgo and trines your descendent, putting an emphasis on this area of your life. And the descendent itself has just recently changed signs, into taurus, Venus ruled! So we again find the theme repeating itself here.
And why not add the cherry on the top of the cake... that is where transiting Uranus is! It all ties together.
