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  #1  
Unread 04-15-2013, 09:18 PM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Problems bonding with other people

Hi,

I have problems bonding with other people, which can be a real problem in the workplace. It's as if i'm afraid of being myself. i feel I'm missing out on interesting people and it really pains me, especially since I can feel I need interaction with others... it just seems difficult, as if i fear being judged and not accepted. my spontaneity just seems completely blocked in social settings.
i have a libra sun in the 11th house so I shouldn't have that kind of issue... I would be glad if someone could give me some astrological insight as i'm really trying to understand what's wrong, so i can work on it. Thanks a lot!
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  #2  
Unread 04-16-2013, 06:03 AM
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Virinchi Virinchi is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

method i follow is not western..

reason for your problem is saturn.
this saturn if good can help you develop large social circle and your phone is always busy with calls or messages from friends.
but SAT is not helping you here, which makes you close down or restrict your social networking and live in solitude.

one way to overcome this is interact with strangers (atleast online).
startup with a facebook profile and start adding new people. send friend requests to any interesting profile you come across.
start sending emails and try to attend weekend parties.

it'll take 3 years for you to come out of this shell and after that, you'll be too busy to entertain a new friend request
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  #3  
Unread 04-16-2013, 10:03 AM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Thanks so much for your reply Virinchi.

Actually I know many people (on facebook and in real life) and I can 'seem' very social at times. But in just appearance; when it comes to knowing people more in-depth, or letting them know me, that's where it gets blocked. I basically have a hard time forming meaningful, in depth bonding.

I can't see why Saturn would be a big problem here as it is well aspected. Yes it's in the 1st house but many people have this placement and don't have that kind of issue?...
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Unread 04-16-2013, 01:05 PM
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

read my first line again before discussing saturn effect.

you need to pick atleast one person and start opening up with them (online or direct)
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Unread 04-16-2013, 01:56 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

FYI to anyone reading this. If you click on the chart, the black on black goes away, and you can see the data that is hidden in the dark black.... at least on my screen.
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  #6  
Unread 04-16-2013, 02:22 PM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Sorry that version I posted is not very clear. Here is the Astrodienst version
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  #7  
Unread 04-16-2013, 02:29 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lili87 View Post
Sorry that version I posted is not very clear. Here is the Astrodienst version
Thanks. So much better. One never knows what these screens are going to produce.
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  #8  
Unread 04-16-2013, 06:52 PM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Any other ideas anyone? As well as Saturn, I thought this could have something to do with the square Sun/Neptune.

That would make sense because this "fear" feels truly irrational. I mean I have lost slept before at the thought of going to work the next day and having to play the 'social' part... Which I realize is completely silly.

Surely one aspect wouldn't have such a big impact though?... Maybe the afflicted Moon has something to do with it too?
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  #9  
Unread 04-16-2013, 08:23 PM
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

I think you are a very passionate person (Moon square Pluto) but you have troubles in communicating (Mercury square Moon). Moon in 4th house you feel the most safe in home. Venus, Mercury, Pluto in 12 th houseit takes time to you to open and when you open up you're doinig it in a subtle way...
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  #10  
Unread 04-16-2013, 11:30 PM
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

socialization and emotional bonding and resp0nse are learned early in life.
if you haver problems bonding it is because your were in an environment that lacked that ability.

your chart clearly shows this to be the case. moon is square to pluto. this shows you mother did not bond with you. hence you do not have the experience of bonding from your primary emotional template, Mom.

you chart has mercury conjunct pluto , so the emotional blockage likely is repressed. that is you and your mother might have a great relationship and any "bad" experiences of childhood are blocked.

this moon square to pluto/mercury also tend to make you a silent person. not usually expressive or very cautios at best.

with venus opposed to jupiter you are very socialible and likley have many friends but ion the midst of having fun, internally you tend to become very reflective about your self.

the saturn/pluto midpoin tis on your ascendant giving desponency and depression at times. this also imlies that your father was a contricting influence on your emotions.

your moon/mercury midpoint is conjun t to uranus giving avibrabt mental energy.this give quick reactions and mind. it can give genius intellectuaslly but so much depends on your discipline to make this a reality.
you have an expansive and brillain t mind yet you have self doubt and depression. this juxaposition of influences ofte bring a dissassociative personality or bipolar characters

as the sun square to neptune can weaken impulses of discipline, you may find yourself in the middle of contentious relationship often.

rahu
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  #11  
Unread 04-17-2013, 08:35 AM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Thanks so much guys for these insights.

I have indeed a very complicated and emotionally draining relationship with my mum, for a reason that's totally unknown. And I've always had a feeling that I carried this insecurity I have with her to the "outer world".

Thanks for pointing out the positive points though Will try and work on myself.
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Unread 04-18-2013, 04:14 PM
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

hello Lili87

here are some thoughts

spirit/higher self

sun in libra - very weak, spirit/higher self has terrible trouble expressing itself in your life.

sun trine moon

the spirit/higher self, whatever expression of itself it is able to get out flows easily down to the lower self/passions, appetites and emotions, this will be felt as an inner certainty that is difficult to explain to people.

lower self/passions, appetites and emotions

moon in aquarius - peregrine, so it is weak, lower self will tend to be influenced primarily by external phenomena of whatever quality.

moon square mercury

mercury is peregrine, so it is weak, the lower self does not communicate with the mind easily, the flow of information between the two is a struggle if it happens at all, there is always stress.

moon sextile saturn

saturn is peregrine, so it is weak, the lower self is stimulated by restriction and difficulty, so it will seek these things out.

mind

mercury in scorpio - mercury is peregrine, the mind will be easily swayed by external phenomena of whatever quality.

mercury opposition jupiter retrograde - jupiter is peregrine, so it is weak in addition it is retrograde so the difficulty here will not be perceived. The mind resists growth and expansion. Both planets are peregrine and in weak houses so this is not as powerful or detrimental as it could be.

It looks grim, but what you have got is an inner connection that has to be trusted (sun trine moon), it is on a feeling level, it would appear that feeling is the most important, the strongest facet of your being. You can sense if someone is not on the level, I think what you are experiencing is awareness of how grim it is out there in the real world, people in reality are layered and rarely true to themselves, you can on a feeling level pick this up and it is jarring. How can it be possible to relate to people when you can intuit their imbalances, intentions, problems etc. This information can only be picked up on a one to one basis, you cannot connect like that on facebook.

You are riding a small boat on a turbulent ocean.
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  #13  
Unread 04-18-2013, 06:35 PM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Thanks a lot for these insights mrdecc.

I'm not too sure I understand all of it properly... I'm still new to astrology but what you seem to say is that my chart is overall pretty weak (apart form that Sun-Moon trine)? It sounds a little hopeless and fatalistic to me... Or maybe I'm missing something?

"How can it be possible to relate to people when you can intuit their imbalances, intentions, problems etc."... I have to say that's exactly how I feel though!...
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  #14  
Unread 04-19-2013, 05:49 PM
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Hello Lili87

You are looking at one persons astrological description of a 'sensitive soul', it is not pretty because the astrological nuts and bolts that make up a 'sensitive soul' are not pretty. You are an individual who needs to be in a positive and pleasant environment surrounded by honest, loving people, not for any reason other than your little boat that carries you through life is easily overturned.
I know it looks grim, but you are not alone, all charts have aspects of grimness to them, it just means you have more chance to grow in this lifetime (if you believe in reincarnation, if not then fatalistic it is). Your main challenge is to not get too corrupted by the onslaught of psychic detritus.
If you are heavily impacted by your environment then surely it is better to know this so that you can go to great lengths to ensure that you are in the best possible environment for your own happiness and personal growth.
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Unread 04-21-2013, 08:35 PM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Oh okay, I know what you mean now. I know I am extremely sensitive indeed and I do feel that I have to make enormous effort to "evolve" to curb that -but doesn't everyone have to grow in their own way?

Thanks again for the reading
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  #16  
Unread 04-21-2013, 09:09 PM
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Hello Lili87

Do you mean 'evolve' as in to 'spiritualize' your limitations, that is to say use them in service to a higher power?. I do not know if it is possible to 'evolve' them away.
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  #17  
Unread 04-21-2013, 09:21 PM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Yes that's exactly what I meant: not repressing them, but really "growing" -as you say, "spiritualize".
I realized not too long ago it might be the right time for that (maybe Saturn transiting in my 12th house has something to do with it), which is actually why I was seeking some advice
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  #18  
Unread 04-21-2013, 09:49 PM
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

That would be a tough road to travel, your specific limitations require a great deal of willpower to not be swept away by the emotional information of varying qualities being emitted by the subconscious of everyone you meet.
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  #19  
Unread 04-21-2013, 10:30 PM
Lili87 Lili87 is offline
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Re: Problems bonding with other people

Hmm, sorry maybe I didn't phrase it right (English isn't my first language). My main goal is inner peace. Not being something I'm not: just peace with myself and the world. Gotta try, no? Otherwise what's the point?
I realize it might sound a little vague... but I know what I mean
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