Agoraphobia Help

Hi Guys,
Any help would be appreciated.
Since the age of 15 I have suffered on and off with Agoraphobia due to issues with a male father figure. I am now 31.
Around 2014-2016 I combated this and had the best two years of my life.
Unfortunately old habits returned due to health issues and because of this I haven’t left the house since January 2018.
I don’t have much placement in the 12th house but I do have a hell of a lot of saturn in my chart which seems to control my life on a unconscious level. I also feel that water is a huge player in my life and I mostly relate to my pisces asc moon etc. I have a huge lack of self esteem and feel things on a visceral level I take on emotions that aren’t mine and peoples energy's tend to drain me of my own hence me being a hermit. I generally prefer animals and mostly spend my time caring for my animals and looking after the resident foxes that visit our gardens.
I see myself as standing in front of a glass door with the world passing me by on the other side, sometimes envious of the life others live but mostly complacent, I’m definitely not content though. And I wonder if my life will remain this way?
Any interpretation into my chart and advice would be much appreciated.
Kindest Regards.
Nat



DOB 12/01/1989 BIRTH LOCATION - LIVERPOOL ENGLAND - BIRTH TIME 10.05AM GMT.

While you don't have much going on in your twelfth house, you do have the majority of your planets and your sun in Capricorn. That's a very solitary sign. In fact, one of Capricorn's archetypes is the hermit.

Even if you did not have agoraphobia, you would probably have a great need for solitude, at least to recharge. No matter how social you got, you would still need your own space and alone time.

Pisces is a highly sensitive sign, the wateriest of water signs, highly prone to taking on the emotions of others. Not only is it both your moon sign and your rising sign, it's also magnified by your north node right on your ascendant. The north node makes whatever it touches bigger, magnified in your life. Pisces' strategy is to go away--disperse like the two fish it's named for swimming off in opposite directions--when things get too overwhelming. Put that together, and of course you'll develop agoraphobia if something traumatizes you.

Your multiple Capricorn placements, which include Sun and a domiciled Saturn, can indicate a father figure and issues with him. The timing of the onset is also reflected in your transits. Age 15 is Saturn opposition time. Your Saturn opposition came from Cancer, which is the sign of home and family. Both Cancer and Capricorn are parent archetypes--that speaks, again, of a parental figure.

Right now, you have transits going on that reflect, in a way, what you had at the age of 15. You're in Saturn return territory. Your exact Saturn return has already passed, but since Saturn is still moving through the same sign and has more of your planets to touch, much of the energy is still present. This year, Saturn is transiting over your sun several times, while Pluto is currently right on your sun. Meanwhile, transiting Chiron is squaring your natal Chiron. All of this brings up your previous trauma again, and your reaction to it. When past trauma is brought up by astrological transits, that's a prime opportunity for healing. You've recognized that, as evidenced by your reaching out.

How did you previously combat your agoraphobia?

Pluto transits indicate a need to go down very deep, and uncover what has been hidden from you. Since your agoraphobia returned, and you're having a strong Pluto transit, I suspect your previous treatment did not go deep enough. You did enough to overcome the agoraphobia for the time being, but not enough to get rid of it permanently.

Perhaps you need to revisit whatever you did to combat the agoraphobia before. Or perhaps you need a different method that would work on a deeper level. It depends on what you've already done.

post deleted

post deleted

post deleted

post deleted

post deleted

Zora said:

post deleted

Click to expand...

Hi Zora, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your input. All I can say is WOW.
Yes I was born with the cord wrapped around my neck and my father was very violent during my mothers pregnancy with me. All I can say is that you have an incredible gift.
Unfortunately Your posts have been deleted and I have been unable to read the others . I am not sure what happened.
But wow you have blown my mind.

Osamenor said:

While you don't have much going on in your twelfth house, you do have the majority of your planets and your sun in Capricorn. That's a very solitary sign. In fact, one of Capricorn's archetypes is the hermit.

Even if you did not have agoraphobia, you would probably have a great need for solitude, at least to recharge. No matter how social you got, you would still need your own space and alone time.

Pisces is a highly sensitive sign, the wateriest of water signs, highly prone to taking on the emotions of others. Not only is it both your moon sign and your rising sign, it's also magnified by your north node right on your ascendant. The north node makes whatever it touches bigger, magnified in your life. Pisces' strategy is to go away--disperse like the two fish it's named for swimming off in opposite directions--when things get too overwhelming. Put that together, and of course you'll develop agoraphobia if something traumatizes you.

Your multiple Capricorn placements, which include Sun and a domiciled Saturn, can indicate a father figure and issues with him. The timing of the onset is also reflected in your transits. Age 15 is Saturn opposition time. Your Saturn opposition came from Cancer, which is the sign of home and family. Both Cancer and Capricorn are parent archetypes--that speaks, again, of a parental figure.

Right now, you have transits going on that reflect, in a way, what you had at the age of 15. You're in Saturn return territory. Your exact Saturn return has already passed, but since Saturn is still moving through the same sign and has more of your planets to touch, much of the energy is still present. This year, Saturn is transiting over your sun several times, while Pluto is currently right on your sun. Meanwhile, transiting Chiron is squaring your natal Chiron. All of this brings up your previous trauma again, and your reaction to it. When past trauma is brought up by astrological transits, that's a prime opportunity for healing. You've recognized that, as evidenced by your reaching out.

How did you previously combat your agoraphobia?

Pluto transits indicate a need to go down very deep, and uncover what has been hidden from you. Since your agoraphobia returned, and you're having a strong Pluto transit, I suspect your previous treatment did not go deep enough. You did enough to overcome the agoraphobia for the time being, but not enough to get rid of it permanently.

Perhaps you need to revisit whatever you did to combat the agoraphobia before. Or perhaps you need a different method that would work on a deeper level. It depends on what you've already done.

Click to expand...

Hi Osamenor,

Thank you so much for your interpretation.
You are correct on everything.
My current transits are in sync with those from age 15, that is something I hadn’t checked before.
I will answer in more depth soon.
Thanks for such great input
Nat

StaciaAna said:

Hi Zora, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your input. All I can say is WOW.
Yes I was born with the cord wrapped around my neck and my father was very violent during my mothers pregnancy with me. All I can say is that you have an incredible gift. Unfortunately Your posts have been deleted and I have been unable to read the others . I am not sure what happened.
But wow you have blown my mind.

Click to expand...

Hello Stacia Ana,

I just had the impression coming into my mind that night - that all what I wrote - would probably come too near to you and for you in the actual moment. I suddently wasnt' sure -if this memory wouldn't hurt you.

I have a near family member experiencing exactly the same what you mentioned with

StaciaAna said:

I see myself as standing in front of a glass door with the world passing me by on the other side .

Click to expand...

what came up and had a break-through that night - and it was very intense.

But I saved what I wrote - as I intended to send it to you again... so here it is all in one again.....

StaciaAna said:

Since the age of 15 I have suffered on and off with Agoraphobia due to issues with a male father figure

Click to expand...

Hello StaciaAna,

if something is healed - it is gone and will not come back. Father male model role ist shown in your chart with cancer in your 5th house ruled by your moon in pisces - who rules your 6th house - health as well and is in your 1st house and halfsquared by your mercury in your 12th house as second part of your birth axis and ruler of your DC. But mercury also rules your 3rd house, among others like mind, thoughts, communication, capability to breathe- also house of siblings.

Mercury in prenatal house 12th - prenatal experience before own birth - during pregnancy of your mother with you - is in exact semisextile with your neptune as your birth-energy and ASC ruler and in square with your pluto as ruler of 8th house in 8th house - genetic inheritance and predisposition for health issues - also house of leaving descendants and blood line ancestors and subconsciously stored memory.

Your moonnode is fate-like nearly exact on your ASC and sextiled by your very close uranus/venus conj. -venus as your ruler of physical body house 2nd and uranus as co-ruler of your prenatal experience house 12th. Moreover saturn as your 11th house and 12th house ruler sextiles your moonnode as well. And all 3 - venus/uranus and saturn oppose your cancer chiron in your mercury ruled 4th house - showing your mother experience as well- who had a hard time that time during pregnancy and around your own birth. Did you had issues to immediately breathe after your birth ? Were you probably born with umbilical cord around your neck?

To me it looks like that the real cause already happened before your birth during pregnancy - you probably witnessed in body-unity with your mother that something happened to her - what you afterwards stored in your subconscious memory frozen at the age of an not yet born and helpless little baby.

What do you know about your own birth - and the time before - were you told about some difficulties your mother had ?

StaciaAna said:

Since the age of 15 I have suffered on and off with Agoraphobia due to issues with a male father figure.

Click to expand...

at age of 15 - transiting pluto as your ruler of subconsciously stored memory (8th house) was exact on your midheaven cusp and started to square your moon, transiting uranus entered zero degree pisces sextiled your venus/uranus conj. and your chiron in 4th house. Transiting neptune as your ASC ruler was in your 12th house and squared your pluto in 8th house.

Old stored memory stuff came up into your mind - and attracted an event of similar context and content - you have once before already experienced or witnessed and taken over as yours.

StaciaAna said:

Unfortunately old habits returned due to health issues and because of this I haven’t left the house since January 2018.

Click to expand...

Jan 2018 started with transiting mars conjuncting your pluto in 8th house- transiting saturn as your 12th house ruler /prenatal experience conjuncted your venus/uranus conj. and opposed your chiron in 4th house- old wounds got open again. Transiting chiron conjuncted your moon and transiting uranus conj. your mars to support your for self-liberation.

With transiting neptune sextiling your own neptune and trine on your pluto in 8th house meant for a deep healing process.

Actually transiting jupiter as your 10th house ruler sextiles very exact your pluto in 8th house to support you with new faith and self-trust to look at your past memory and to let go more easy.

Transiting pluto sextiles very exact your pisces moon now - for a deep transformation and regeneration and to get you aware of subconsiously stored memory of the past and memory emotionally stored from own birth - what accompanies all your new beginnings - despite what it is - new job, new home, new partner.

Transiting saturn squares and challenges your mars as your co-ruler of 1st house and 2nd personal birth energy to push your own wishes and targets through and trines your jupiter as your lifepath ruler to find new faith in your own life again.

Transiting uranus still holds on sextiling your ASC and trining your DC - activating your birth-axis energy and your moonnode. And sextiles your inner wound chiron in your 4th house for a liberation and to get rid of old stuff.

StaciaAna said:

I see myself as standing in front of a glass door with the world passing me by on the other side. And I wonder if my life will remain this way?

Click to expand...

Where uranus is close involved with a personal planet - like your venus as ruler of your physical body house and house of setting boundaries, defending own territory - one can split off an experience to hard to stand at that time and subpress it with close mercury/neptune semisextile - away from own thoughts.

But this subpressed energy afterwards grows inwardly and can show itself on the outer surface like feeling to be only half (venus as ruler of body house 2nd conj. uranus as co-ruler of 12th house), like not really fully pysically born (venus as ruler of second, mercury as ruler of 3rd and 7th in 12th house over horizon), not visible to other people (7th house) and/or to not have enough air to breathe (mercury as ruler of 3rd house) and in mental panic attacks and addictions concerning own thoughts (mercury ruling 3rd) and encounter area meeting people (mercury ruling 7th) with mercury square pluto - getting out of personal control.

Mercury in aquarius co-ruled by uranus- in 12th house with mercury neptune and mercury uranus corespondence as ruler of 3rd and 4th house is a very high sensitive sensed born person and soul - intensified with exact mercury semisextile neptune and square pluto in 8th - and moon in pisces sextiling sun in 11th house with sun/uranus correspondence.

Personal planets connected with uranus and neptune are often overwhelmed and overloaded by outer influence -not able to close own doors to find a rest of their own alone. With mercury pluto square also perceiving a lot of other people's issues - they are dealing with under the surface - nonverbally - they don't need to talk about. This can sometimes get like a hell ride being in a crowd of people not able to stop it to perceive all of this at same time.

Once experienced that one was not able to defend own territory, own body and own boundaries against others it stays with pluto/mercury a memory of being a victim to the rest of the world unless the true cause and reason hasn't found out and recognized as a past experience one has overcome still alive.
.

Zora said:

Hello Stacia Ana,

I just had the impression coming into my mind that night - that all what I wrote - would probably come too near to you and for you in the actual moment. I suddently wasnt' sure -if this memory wouldn't hurt you.

I have a near family member experiencing exactly the same what you mentioned with

what came up and had a break-through that night - and it was very intense.

But I saved what I wrote - as I intended to send it to you again... so here it is all in one again.....



Hello StaciaAna,

if something is healed - it is gone and will not come back. Father male model role ist shown in your chart with cancer in your 5th house ruled by your moon in pisces - who rules your 6th house - health as well and is in your 1st house and halfsquared by your mercury in your 12th house as second part of your birth axis and ruler of your DC. But mercury also rules your 3rd house, among others like mind, thoughts, communication, capability to breathe- also house of siblings.

Mercury in prenatal house 12th - prenatal experience before own birth - during pregnancy of your mother with you - is in exact semisextile with your neptune as your birth-energy and ASC ruler and in square with your pluto as ruler of 8th house in 8th house - genetic inheritance and predisposition for health issues - also house of leaving descendants and blood line ancestors and subconsciously stored memory.

Your moonnode is fate-like nearly exact on your ASC and sextiled by your very close uranus/venus conj. -venus as your ruler of physical body house 2nd and uranus as co-ruler of your prenatal experience house 12th. Moreover saturn as your 11th house and 12th house ruler sextiles your moonnode as well. And all 3 - venus/uranus and saturn oppose your cancer chiron in your mercury ruled 4th house - showing your mother experience as well- who had a hard time that time during pregnancy and around your own birth. Did you had issues to immediately breathe after your birth ? Were you probably born with umbilical cord around your neck?

To me it looks like that the real cause already happened before your birth during pregnancy - you probably witnessed in body-unity with your mother that something happened to her - what you afterwards stored in your subconscious memory frozen at the age of an not yet born and helpless little baby.

What do you know about your own birth - and the time before - were you told about some difficulties your mother had ?


at age of 15 - transiting pluto as your ruler of subconsciously stored memory (8th house) was exact on your midheaven cusp and started to square your moon, transiting uranus entered zero degree pisces sextiled your venus/uranus conj. and your chiron in 4th house. Transiting neptune as your ASC ruler was in your 12th house and squared your pluto in 8th house.

Old stored memory stuff came up into your mind - and attracted an event of similar context and content - you have once before already experienced or witnessed and taken over as yours.



Jan 2018 started with transiting mars conjuncting your pluto in 8th house- transiting saturn as your 12th house ruler /prenatal experience conjuncted your venus/uranus conj. and opposed your chiron in 4th house- old wounds got open again. Transiting chiron conjuncted your moon and transiting uranus conj. your mars to support your for self-liberation.

With transiting neptune sextiling your own neptune and trine on your pluto in 8th house meant for a deep healing process.

Actually transiting jupiter as your 10th house ruler sextiles very exact your pluto in 8th house to support you with new faith and self-trust to look at your past memory and to let go more easy.

Transiting pluto sextiles very exact your pisces moon now - for a deep transformation and regeneration and to get you aware of subconsiously stored memory of the past and memory emotionally stored from own birth - what accompanies all your new beginnings - despite what it is - new job, new home, new partner.

Transiting saturn squares and challenges your mars as your co-ruler of 1st house and 2nd personal birth energy to push your own wishes and targets through and trines your jupiter as your lifepath ruler to find new faith in your own life again.

Transiting uranus still holds on sextiling your ASC and trining your DC - activating your birth-axis energy and your moonnode. And sextiles your inner wound chiron in your 4th house for a liberation and to get rid of old stuff.



Where uranus is close involved with a personal planet - like your venus as ruler of your physical body house and house of setting boundaries, defending own territory - one can split off an experience to hard to stand at that time and subpress it with close mercury/neptune semisextile - away from own thoughts.

But this subpressed energy afterwards grows inwardly and can show itself on the outer surface like feeling to be only half (venus as ruler of body house 2nd conj. uranus as co-ruler of 12th house), like not really fully pysically born (venus as ruler of second, mercury as ruler of 3rd and 7th in 12th house over horizon), not visible to other people (7th house) and/or to not have enough air to breathe (mercury as ruler of 3rd house) and in mental panic attacks and addictions concerning own thoughts (mercury ruling 3rd) and encounter area meeting people (mercury ruling 7th) with mercury square pluto - getting out of personal control.

Mercury in aquarius co-ruled by uranus- in 12th house with mercury neptune and mercury uranus corespondence as ruler of 3rd and 4th house is a very high sensitive sensed born person and soul - intensified with exact mercury semisextile neptune and square pluto in 8th - and moon in pisces sextiling sun in 11th house with sun/uranus correspondence.

Personal planets connected with uranus and neptune are often overwhelmed and overloaded by outer influence -not able to close own doors to find a rest of their own alone. With mercury pluto square also perceiving a lot of other people's issues - they are dealing with under the surface - nonverbally - they don't need to talk about. This can sometimes get like a hell ride being in a crowd of people not able to stop it to perceive all of this at same time.

Once experienced that one was not able to defend own territory, own body and own boundaries against others it stays with pluto/mercury a memory of being a victim to the rest of the world unless the true cause and reason hasn't found out and recognized as a past experience one has overcome still alive.
.

Click to expand...

Hi Zora .
I keep restarting this message as I really don’t know where to start.
You are correct. What you wrote hit me hard but not all in a negative way. You helped clarify so much. Alot of the transits I was already aware of but I could never interpret them how you could, that in itself is a skill.

Me & my mother are incredibly close and she is also blown away by you.


‘Where uranus is close involved with a personal planet - like your venus as ruler of your physical body house and house of setting boundaries, defending own territory - one can split off an experience to hard to stand at that time and subpress it with close mercury/neptune semisextile - away from own thoughts.’
This is my personality. This is my defence mechanism, I have created my own reality of sorts to avoid dealing with the real reality & that reality means staying at home to avoid the negatives present with the outside. It’s a sort of bird cage.

‘ feeling to be only half (venus as ruler of body house 2nd conj. uranus as co-ruler of 12th house), like not really fully pysically born (venus as ruler of second, mercury as ruler of 3rd and 7th in 12th house over horizon), not visible to other people (7th house) and/or to not have enough air to breathe (mercury as ruler of 3rd house) and in mental panic attacks and addictions concerning own thoughts (mercury ruling 3rd) and encounter area meeting people (mercury ruling 7th) with mercury square pluto - getting out of personal control.’
Yes. I have always felt incomplete of sorts, not human enough, well not what we perceive to be human anyway. I have spent my life trying to be invisible due to my insecurities regarding appearance. I am told I am attractive but I have low self esteem and I have eating issues, I go severely low in weight to overweight and I can never find balance. I suspect The 10th house plays a huge part due to my deep fear of what the crowd think of me/public image etc. And with my moon & asc being in the 1st and pisces I am incredibly sensitive about my body and outward appearance . This is what stops me leaving the house.
My neptune leaves me without a clear Identity & due to Saturn I am incredibly hard on myself.
I self govern my own life and in a sense imprison myself.
I have suffered with severe depression on and of through life but find talking about it a weakness. And my worst enemy is my mind due to Mercury’s placements and aspects, like you have pointed out.
Since 29 I have had issues with my rib cage that I have described as having a vice around my chest that makes it hard to breathe deeply.
My ribs hurt constantly.
I also found out I had Genetic haemochromatosis in 2018 from my father who died of complications from that and alcoholism age 52.

‘Mercury in aquarius co-ruled by uranus- in 12th house with mercury neptune and mercury uranus corespondence as ruler of 3rd and 4th house is a very high sensitive sensed born person and soul’
I have always been highly sensitive but mostly wish I wasn’t as a find it a burden most of the time. I have a deep affinity with animals , Cruelty to them of any sort hurts me deeply. I am not as compassionate to my fellow humans Which isn’t so great.

‘Personal planets connected with uranus and neptune are often overwhelmed and overloaded by outer influence -not able to close own doors to find a rest of their own alone. With mercury pluto square also perceiving a lot of other people's issues - they are dealing with under the surface - nonverbally - they don't need to talk about. This can sometimes get like a hell ride being in a crowd of people not able to stop it to perceive all of this at same time.’
I believe I am highly intuitive and sense things around me but Saturn tends to dampen any connection I have with the mystic as he is a cynic and saturn doesn’t stand for such ‘nonsense’ .
I have taken on the protective role for my mother and at present can’t imagine living without her which in itself lies the problem.
I have no autonomy and I don’t know if I ever will.


‘Once experienced that one was not able to defend own territory, own body and own boundaries against others it stays with pluto/mercury a memory of being a victim to the rest of the world unless the true cause and reason hasn't found out and recognized as a past experience one has overcome still alive’
I never outwardly though myself to be a victim and I am quite defensive about it but when you look at the fact I don’t leave my house due to the unknown outside forces/bad people I realise I am the epitome of thinking I am a victim. This is not what I want to be anymore! Fear has plagued my life.

I hope whatever breakthrough your family member had she came out the other side and is now ok? What happened? I hope she is fine.

This has been overwhelming Zora.
I fear this is going to get worse for quite a while more. Is there any good you see coming soon?
Especially in regards to physical vitality & health ?
You are incredibly in-tune and you and your father truly have a gift.
Thank you so much ❤️

StaciaAna said:

I hope whatever breakthrough your family member had she came out the other side and is now ok? What happened? I hope she is fine.

This has been overwhelming Zora.

You are incredibly in-tune and you and your father truly have a gift.
Thank you so much ❤️

Click to expand...

Hi Stacia,


You're very welcome and thank you as well for your open feed back.


My family member is a man - and Yes he is fine. It was a very necessary break through he was busy with hiding himself behind a glass door and under a glass bell nearly his whole life - because of both parents were alcoholics in his childhood.


But as I feel, that night - he first time left his glass bell - he was under - and took breath in real reality.


We all are supported by transits - helping us to solve our own issues -if right time has come for.


.

StaciaAna said:

H
I fear this is going to get worse for quite a while more. Is there any good you see coming soon? Especially in regards to physical vitality & health ?

Click to expand...

Physical vitality and health is something you are responsible for yourself as well- as transits will not do magic things coming over you but to support you with the energy to do it and to achieve it yourself.

Your health house is ruled by your moon - who is in 1st house personal enforcement (also immune system) And moon is still sextiled and energized by transiting pluto until december 18th, 2020. Pluto rules your 8th house - genetic inheritance and subconsciously stored memory from the past- and all strong energy support from bloodline ancestors and their experiences.

Pluto delivers in his transit's an immense energy to regenerate quickly and to get rid of old stuff- get it transformed by seeing it in another light as an adult now and different from time you experienced at own birth.

Same time your chiron in 4th house - house of mother and feelings is sextiled by t-uranus for a self-liberation. T-uranus still transits your birth axis and your moonnode for a re-birthing. Your ASC by sextile and your DC/encounter people by trine - till march 28th, 2020.

With uranus transits you may expect the unexpected - he is said to be able to turn around own life like over night.

Transiting saturn supports your jupiter by trine as your ruler of your life path to find new trust in and challenges your aries mars as co-ruler of your 1st house right now by square till first of nobember, 2020 - to encourage you to take leadership on your own for own life again and go for what you want to achieve in your life.

But to give a personal contribution to society as well - to feel a sense in your own life again - what is most important for an 11th house sun - who has and feels an inner suprapersonal order to fullfil with own work (sun co-rules 6th house) and to be visibly a part in outer society - even by social media - but important to feel as a responsible part of it.

This saves and helps your own health and to get healthy again. Sitting alone within your own 4 walls will get you deeply unhappy (strong pluto as ruler of 8th in 8th in square with mercury as ruler of 4th- emotions and in sextile with ASC ruler neptune) and useless- and more and more addicted to several things - and will put your own iights and energy out.

Transiting uranus in august 2020 will start to support and to challenge your mercury as ruler of your 4th house and emotions to take maternity in social commitment outside until may 1st may 2021 - you have come for into this life from a previous life.(IC- gemini- ruled by mercury in 12th house - square pluto in 8th - a suprapersonal order taken over - to heal yourself with chiron in 4th and to help other people and collective subconsciousnes to heal themselves).


You have a lot to do. And you are willing to fullfil it and are subconsciously guided in this as well. Even if you don't feel it in the moment in the middle of the experience. But mostly later on.
.