Aquarius energy: never feeling at home?

http://imgur.com/a/Kyoeo

Would it be the uranian energy responsible for that feeling? My dominant planet is Uranus, I have a lot of inner planets aspecting Uranus and Neptune and Saturn. Idk why, but in Astro.com it also says that my dominant sign is Aquarius, and next would be Scorpio.

What I meant by never feeling at home is that I never did feel I belonged anywhere. I do have a family thats complete and is rather well, but even I feel a little too different. My goals and visions for my future is a little different and they don't know that. They don't know I dream rather big and is very ambitious. My interests are rather different that even if I tried introducing them to it, they'd just find me a little weird.

With the people I meet in my social life, its like a paradox. I can sympathize and stuff, but I could also not relate at the same time. They tell me their problems, their goals, and stuff, and I end up feeling shy over telling mine because what i really want would seem rather incredulous or something. They'd look at me for sure, and say "you sure? You sure you can do that?"

What they enjoy, what they cry over for, what they love, the kinds of things they like, I could never relate to them. I never could enjoy the things people enjoy nowadays. As much as I want to return the favor of sharing interests (because the people I meet like doing this, and I gladly do that same) its really just... it feels like two different worlds. So overtime, I've kept SOME of my interests as a secret. Like for example, my interest in Astrology. My interest in really old music that belong in another era, the kinds of movies that not all really know about, the kind of artists I enjoy are also some very old school, although most are famous too, but they are not enjoyed by my own generation. Its like.. I couldn't ride along with my generation.

I have heard that there are many people like me, or who feel the same. I just wish I could some of them so i wouldn't feel a little left out or a little lonely. I constantly feel like a visitor of a friend's house, someone who just stopped by to enjoy some bonding time, then find myself in another person's house. But I never found a place or a group or a person that felt like home. My family would be the closest thing to it, but there's just so much that my parents can't connect to me with. In fact, I think I'm the only one in the family who has this much awareness about my self identity and character.

But back to the question, what energy in my chart would be responsible for this? Would it be the Aquarius energy? Or soemthing else?

UraSatVen1029 said:

http://imgur.com/a/Kyoeo

Would it be the uranian energy responsible for that feeling?

Click to expand...

From a traditional perspective
planets are more "at home" in some signs than others
and I note that
your natal moon is in a condition traditionally known as "peregrine"

and given your description of feelings of "alienation"
that is interesting
because your natal Moon rules your 7th house of relationships
and rules your Descendant
and "Peregrine" means "alien"

i.e.
The word 'Peregrine' comes from a Latin term meaning 'alien' or 'foreigner'
(pereger = beyond the borders, ager = land, i.e., 'beyond one's own land').
In old English, to 'peregrinate' means to wander far from home.

Such a planet is therefore seen as having little influence
or control over its environment.
In symbolic terms it describes a drifter
- someone with no title or stake in his or her environment.
It might portray someone who lacks a clear sense of focus
a sense of feeling 'lost' or on the outside of community thinking
or an inability to identify clear goals
or offer resolute commitments to others http://www.skyscript.co.uk/gl/peregrine.html

UraSatVen1029 said:

My dominant planet is Uranus, I have a lot of inner planets aspecting Uranus and Neptune and Saturn. Idk why, but in Astro.com it also says that my dominant sign is Aquarius, and next would be Scorpio.

What I meant by never feeling at home is that I never did feel I belonged anywhere. I do have a family thats complete and is rather well, but even I feel a little too different. My goals and visions for my future is a little different and they don't know that. They don't know I dream rather big and is very ambitious. My interests are rather different that even if I tried introducing them to it, they'd just find me a little weird.

With the people I meet in my social life, its like a paradox. I can sympathize and stuff, but I could also not relate at the same time. They tell me their problems, their goals, and stuff, and I end up feeling shy over telling mine because what i really want would seem rather incredulous or something. They'd look at me for sure, and say "you sure? You sure you can do that?"

What they enjoy, what they cry over for, what they love, the kinds of things they like, I could never relate to them. I never could enjoy the things people enjoy nowadays. As much as I want to return the favor of sharing interests (because the people I meet like doing this, and I gladly do that same) its really just... it feels like two different worlds. So overtime, I've kept SOME of my interests as a secret. Like for example, my interest in Astrology. My interest in really old music that belong in another era, the kinds of movies that not all really know about, the kind of artists I enjoy are also some very old school, although most are famous too, but they are not enjoyed by my own generation. Its like.. I couldn't ride along with my generation.

I have heard that there are many people like me, or who feel the same. I just wish I could some of them so i wouldn't feel a little left out or a little lonely. I constantly feel like a visitor of a friend's house, someone who just stopped by to enjoy some bonding time, then find myself in another person's house. But I never found a place or a group or a person that felt like home. My family would be the closest thing to it, but there's just so much that my parents can't connect to me with. In fact, I think I'm the only one in the family who has this much awareness about my self identity and character.

But back to the question, what energy in my chart would be responsible for this? Would it be the Aquarius energy? Or soemthing else?

Click to expand...

I came to believe Aquarians seek other places for travel or relocation, they have a wider view of the world than most signs and they expect to live in more than one place. I didn't manage to move out of my area (Palm Springs CA) like I wanted to after high school, due to lack of jobs and not enough money to pay rent at the first place. My natal Aquarius sun/moon conjunction is in 8th - the house under the influence of Scorpio, this is a factor of my wanderlust and longing for another home.

UraSatVen1029, we are out here.

I have sun, Mercury, Venus in Aquarius, with Uranus conjunct MC and trined by my sun.

This may sound really tough to a young person, but at some level, the gift and inner core of Aquarius and Uranus is not in fitting in. We may be alone or even lonely at times, but with that hardship come the gifts of freedom, independence, and a propensity for truth-telling, as you understand the truth.

Scorpio is another truth-telling sign, because it likes to strip away sham and pretense, to get at the core of the matter, or of another human being. Given your Scorpio-Aquarian squares, this won't be easy; but just possibly you're on the planet for some profound reasons where independence of thought and independence from social norms are called for.

The lunar Aquarians in my life actually are good at making friends, but this doesn't turn them into warm, fuzzy people.

I don't know if you are a university student or can attend university, if not. But if you are not a university student, I would strongly encourage you to find a way to attend because there you will meet so many different kinds of people and be exposed to new ideas.

With your NN in Leo in the 8th house and your part of fortune conjunct Saturn in Aries in the 4th, I think your growth will lie through probing the depths of your own psyche-- if you haven't learned about depth psychology, I recommend it. (Psychology is ruled by Aquarius, incidentally.)

I also have Neptune in the first house, and this placement can make it very difficult to develop a strong sense of identity. The first house shows how we come across to other people, but Neptune tends to erase or dissolve what it touches. We don't get a clear sense from the mirror that other people reflect back to us. So we can become like chameleons, changing our outward persona to become more of what people expect to see in us.

I got into astrology during a serious "dark night of the soul" but finally realized I was never going to get that true sense of self and life purpose. Thankfully I learned a lot of astrology in the mean time.

You are who you are. And that is wonderful. Whether you are close to other people or not.

Saturn and Capricorn generally love old things. Something old and unusual (Uranus) seems totally appropriate for you. Hopefully you can find some clubs/societies where you live, or on-line discussion groups to connect with like-minded people.

Incidentally, what are your career goals?

With all good wishes for your journey, W.

JUPITERASC said:

From a traditional perspective
planets are more "at home" in some signs than others
and I note that
your natal moon is in a condition traditionally known as "peregrine"

and given your description of feelings of "alienation"
that is interesting
because your natal Moon rules your 7th house of relationships
and rules your Descendant
and "Peregrine" means "alien"

i.e.
The word 'Peregrine' comes from a Latin term meaning 'alien' or 'foreigner'
(pereger = beyond the borders, ager = land, i.e., 'beyond one's own land').
In old English, to 'peregrinate' means to wander far from home.

Such a planet is therefore seen as having little influence
or control over its environment.
In symbolic terms it describes a drifter
- someone with no title or stake in his or her environment.
It might portray someone who lacks a clear sense of focus
a sense of feeling 'lost' or on the outside of community thinking
or an inability to identify clear goals
or offer resolute commitments to others http://www.skyscript.co.uk/gl/peregrine.html

Click to expand...

This makes more sense now. I really suspected my Moon placement for these feelings from the start. I guess it really will be hard for me to fit in somewhere, but I won't give up. I think I'll be able to find it, just not that easily.

But besides fitting in, I do like the fact that I stand out often, and it gives me advantages too.

But my urges in fitting in is so string sometimes haha.

CapAquaPis said:

I came to believe Aquarians seek other places for travel or relocation, they have a wider view of the world than most signs and they expect to live in more than one place. I didn't manage to move out of my area (Palm Springs CA) like I wanted to after high school, due to lack of jobs and not enough money to pay rent at the first place. My natal Aquarius sun/moon conjunction is in 8th - the house under the influence of Scorpio, this is a factor of my wanderlust and longing for another home.

Click to expand...

I actually feel the same. Yeah I also get the moving part. I read somewhere that with Aquarius placements - especially moon, theres always going to be unexpected changes. For me, it obvious through my relationships with other people, me moving from school to another school, my groups of friends are always changing as well, as well as my residence. I've moved to different houses a lot already.

I also do want to live somewhere very far from where I was born. I want to work abroad as well, but I kind of doubt this is the influence of Uranus though.

waybread said:

UraSatVen1029, we are out here.

I have sun, Mercury, Venus in Aquarius, with Uranus conjunct MC and trined by my sun.

This may sound really tough to a young person, but at some level, the gift and inner core of Aquarius and Uranus is not in fitting in. We may be alone or even lonely at times, but with that hardship come the gifts of freedom, independence, and a propensity for truth-telling, as you understand the truth.

Scorpio is another truth-telling sign, because it likes to strip away sham and pretense, to get at the core of the matter, or of another human being. Given your Scorpio-Aquarian squares, this won't be easy; but just possibly you're on the planet for some profound reasons where independence of thought and independence from social norms are called for.

The lunar Aquarians in my life actually are good at making friends, but this doesn't turn them into warm, fuzzy people.

I don't know if you are a university student or can attend university, if not. But if you are not a university student, I would strongly encourage you to find a way to attend because there you will meet so many different kinds of people and be exposed to new ideas.

With your NN in Leo in the 8th house and your part of fortune conjunct Saturn in Aries in the 4th, I think your growth will lie through probing the depths of your own psyche-- if you haven't learned about depth psychology, I recommend it. (Psychology is ruled by Aquarius, incidentally.)

I also have Neptune in the first house, and this placement can make it very difficult to develop a strong sense of identity. The first house shows how we come across to other people, but Neptune tends to erase or dissolve what it touches. We don't get a clear sense from the mirror that other people reflect back to us. So we can become like chameleons, changing our outward persona to become more of what people expect to see in us.

I got into astrology during a serious "dark night of the soul" but finally realized I was never going to get that true sense of self and life purpose. Thankfully I learned a lot of astrology in the mean time.

You are who you are. And that is wonderful. Whether you are close to other people or not.

Saturn and Capricorn generally love old things. Something old and unusual (Uranus) seems totally appropriate for you. Hopefully you can find some clubs/societies where you live, or on-line discussion groups to connect with like-minded people.

Incidentally, what are your career goals?

With all good wishes for your journey, W.

Click to expand...

Hiii. I really do like it when someone describes me accurately because it resonates with me, because its the one thing I CAN'T do for myself hahaha. I had another post on that topic. Someone pointed out that my planets in 1H was responsible for it, specifically, the Neptune and Moon in 1H. Moon, because it rules my 7H, and I had problems on clinging unto people and needing connection from other people to the point I became so influenced by them. So my sense of self identity and my ego seems really weak from the start already.

Its even more sad that I'm so other-people-oriented, with having an insecure ego, easily swayed by events and groups, with the urge to feel at home and belong somewhere plus having goals that people would not expect from me at all. It's like they will almost never conpletely define me and keep me close haha.

I think I am good at making friends, just that I'm a little timid and reserved too. I think that's my Cap ascendant working there. I basically can't lighten up or approach other people, and will only engage when someone else initiates it. Its this dilemma that I really wanna make friends, but there's another part of me thats scared and anxious. Prolly my fear of rejection. But I find that my friends really are so different from each other and I like it. Yes, I'm a university student, but its even more intimidating for me to make new friends there. Although it doesnt feel as suffocating as the Highschool classrooms, but its really odd that I feel more lost in bigger schools and social places. Yes I get to find and meet so many different people but still can't really find someone or somewhere to fit in. Hm... guess I really wasn't meant to fit in then?

I think my detachment out of fear of rejection is also responsible for making me feel lonely sometimes. Not sure.

Haha everytime someone asks me about my career goals I feel extremely shy. I'm afraid of how they will act and what they will think of me.

But hey, is having a career in the music industry so bad though? Its been my dream since I was a little girl and I love performing. My stage fright was an obstacle but I learned how to cope with it. I've been singing for other people since I was really young, developed my songwriting skills because I also loved poetry and fiction writing. Also really love playing piano as well. And yesss probably because of the saturn influence, I love really old things. So I love ooold music. The 40's-90's. I like some songs from this decade, but I mostly enjoy the older ones, makes me wish that I was born from that era instead.

Sorry for the long post btw. Haha

Thanks for the feedback.

I hope you will pursue your dreams-- with a bit of that Capricornian earth element to keep you grounded. On stage, Neptune is an asset because you can project whatever type of personality you wish.

Possibly you won't ever feel like you completely "fit it," because if there's one thing that doesn't look like you, it's being part of the herd or tribe. With your Aquarian moon, you are probably more oriented towards casual friendships, vs. best friends who are really tight. The irony is that Scorpio craves emotional intensity and loyalty, but Aquarius needs her space and freedom.

Hopefully there is a club or volunteer group of two on campus that you can join. Then look for the other shy people.

I recently developed fondness for big band/40s-style music, thanks to some long car trips where this station had the best music. Some that I like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz_x-Yu15Bw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkYy14kSOnw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_YG9XBX04Y

https://vimeo.com/6971656

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CI-0E_jses

Hi,

What is unique or different (that the normal) of how you earn your money, or how you spend it? You have Aquarius on your 2nd house of personal income.

aquarius7000 said:

Hi,

What is unique or different (that the normal) of how you earn your money, or how you spend it? You have Aquarius on your 2nd house of personal income.

Click to expand...

Hmmm i'm not sure if it's considered unique. But I'm only 18 years old still studying Nursing, so I'm relying on my savings account in a bank which my mom provides me for. How I earn it? Lol I usually kind of get more money whenever I perform/ sing. Through a few singing competitions, I won some other times and got the money. I'm a vocalist in a band so i also get money from there whenever we do gigs and stuff. I'm also asked to sing for different events like parties, mall shows, guestings, weddings and also get money from there. Whats funny is that even with just a simple karaoke party in my relatives houses, I'm always asked to sing and get... money from uncles and aunts and friends from my direct family, in some sort of appreciation of my talent or something. Huh.

That's about it so far. I guess I haven't tried out more options yet, since I'm a little sheltered and is well supported by my parents, so all they want me to be concerned about for now is studies and going abroad.

But I'd imagine myself to earn money through creativity of some sort. Writing, because I love to write. Producing songs for the industry, or for movies and stuff, because I love music and love to sing as well. Oh, and with writing, I usually write the fantasy, sci-fi, futuristic themes, I'd also imagine being a screenwriter and director for some movies.

But uhm, haha. Not sure if my chart even supports that.

I probabky could do business as well.

How I spend it is rather... complex. The urges go up and down. One day I'm extremely frigid about it and not spend too much, the next I wouldn't care and my wallet would easily be empty. But it's never to the point where I'm conpletely broke. My savings account go through sudden changes of highs and lows, so yeah theres that.

waybread said:

Thanks for the feedback.

I hope you will pursue your dreams-- with a bit of that Capricornian earth element to keep you grounded. On stage, Neptune is an asset because you can project whatever type of personality you wish.

Possibly you won't ever feel like you completely "fit it," because if there's one thing that doesn't look like you, it's being part of the herd or tribe. With your Aquarian moon, you are probably more oriented towards casual friendships, vs. best friends who are really tight. The irony is that Scorpio craves emotional intensity and loyalty, but Aquarius needs her space and freedom.

Hopefully there is a club or volunteer group of two on campus that you can join. Then look for the other shy people.

I recently developed fondness for big band/40s-style music, thanks to some long car trips where this station had the best music. Some that I like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz_x-Yu15Bw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkYy14kSOnw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_YG9XBX04Y

https://vimeo.com/6971656

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CI-0E_jses

Click to expand...

Omg Jo Stafford. I love her voice <3

Thanks to you, I found the song I've been looking for so long. 'Sing Sing Sing' has been stuck in my memoried since my mom introduced me to 40's music and I was just around 6 years old when I first heard it. Its like one of those songs you remember listening to but can't remember or even knew the title, then suddenly you find it. XD

Everything you listed is really enjoyable actually. I'm adding some of then to my playlist!