Asking a Horary question on Astro.com

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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
So I asked a horary question about a different person/ situation. But instead of making a completely different chart. I just edited the question title and the time on one of my old horary charts. Would the results still be accurate for the new question?
 
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

Well-known member
Ive done the same thing at times, as long as you edit it to the date/time/location of your new query, then its fine.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
ChildOfVenus said:
So I asked a horary question about a different person/ situation. But instead of making a completely different chart. I just edited the question title and the time on one of my old horary charts. Would the results still be accurate for the new question?
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If you edited the time, that makes it a new horary chart. But to be valid, it has to be cast for the exact date, time, and place of the new horary question. Unless you asked both questions on the same date, you have to edit the date, too. And, if you're in a different place when you ask the second horary question, also change the reference place.

The important thing is that you cast the chart accurately. What you draw it on doesn't matter. It sounds like what you're doing is the cyber equivalent of drawing a chart in pencil, erasing it, and drawing a new chart on the same paper. As long as you draw the new chart accurately, it's the same chart as it would be if you drew it on a separate piece of paper. However, if all you do is change the time when the date and/or place is also different, it won't be an accurate chart.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
If you edited the time, that makes it a new horary chart. But to be valid, it has to be cast for the exact date, time, and place of the new horary question. Unless you asked both questions on the same date, you have to edit the date, too. And, if you're in a different place when you ask the second horary question, also change the reference place.

The important thing is that you cast the chart accurately. What you draw it on doesn't matter. It sounds like what you're doing is the cyber equivalent of drawing a chart in pencil, erasing it, and drawing a new chart on the same paper. As long as you draw the new chart accurately, it's the same chart as it would be if you drew it on a separate piece of paper. However, if all you do is change the time when the date and/or place is also different, it won't be an accurate chart.
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So why do I get a no when I ask if this person will contact me. And a yes when I ask if we will have sexual relations?



This first chart is when I asked if the person will contact me.

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This second chart is when I asked if we will have sexual relations.

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Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
ChildOfVenus said:
So why do I get a no when I ask if this person will contact me. And a yes when I ask if we will have sexual relations?
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How are you interpreting the charts? What makes you say the first chart is a no? What makes you say the second chart is a yes?

Horary answers usually aren't that cut and dried. It might simply be a case of interpretation.

What if you contact this person, instead of the other way around? That would make no to the first question and yes to the second possible, if they want to have sexual relations with you. All that changes is who initiates the contact.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
How are you interpreting the charts? What makes you say the first chart is a no? What makes you say the second chart is a yes?

Horary answers usually aren't that cut and dried. It might simply be a case of interpretation.

What if you contact this person, instead of the other way around? That would make no to the first question and yes to the second possible, if they want to have sexual relations with you. All that changes is who initiates the contact.
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I'm just going off my own knowledge.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
ChildOfVenus said:
I'm just going off my own knowledge.
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And what is that knowledge? What do you see in the first chart that tells you it's a no answer? What do you see in the second chart that tells you it's a yes answer?

I think that, if you do have sexual relations with this person, you won't really like it. In the second chart, you're Moon and they're Saturn. Saturn is domiciled, Moon is in the same sign, which is its detriment. You're on their terms, but their terms are very uncomfortable for you. That makes me think that, to "win" this person, you would have to go well outside your comfort zone, agree to things you don't really want, and/or act like the opposite of who you really are.

In the first chart, you're Saturn. In your own sign, but the solitary twelfth house, with no aspect to any traditional planet. That seems to me to indicate that you actually prefer being on your own right now.

Do you really want this person? Or do you just think you're supposed to want them? That's the impression I get from these two charts.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
And what is that knowledge? What do you see in the first chart that tells you it's a no answer? What do you see in the second chart that tells you it's a yes answer?

I think that, if you do have sexual relations with this person, you won't really like it. In the second chart, you're Moon and they're Saturn. Saturn is domiciled, Moon is in the same sign, which is its detriment. You're on their terms, but their terms are very uncomfortable for you. That makes me think that, to "win" this person, you would have to go well outside your comfort zone, agree to things you don't really want, and/or act like the opposite of who you really are.

In the first chart, you're Saturn. In your own sign, but the solitary twelfth house, with no aspect to any traditional planet. That seems to me to indicate that you actually prefer being on your own right now.

Do you really want this person? Or do you just think you're supposed to want them? That's the impression I get from these two charts.
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I won't really like it? Do you mean physically? I would have to agree to do things that I really don't want to do? Meaning what exactly? Would being out my comfort zone really be a bad thing? I do like to experiment. As for do I really want this person? Not in a romantic way but as a close friend with benefits.


This is our synastry chart I thought that we could be close friends based on our synastry.


2exodpl.jpg
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
I just feel this person would be someone who I can do things with because we have things in common and like some of the same things. Someone who I can experience new things with. I feel comfortable sharing things with them.
 
IleneK

IleneK

Premium Member
You know you have asked this question recently and it has been answered already.
Horary will not be reliable if you re-ask the question repeatedly.
Better to just to see what happens than to repeatedly cast charts about the same question.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
IleneK said:
You know you have asked this question recently and it has been answered already.
Horary will not be reliable if you re-ask the question repeatedly.
Better to just to see what happens than to repeatedly cast charts about the same question.
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I haven't pulled a horary chart with this particular question this is the first time.
 
IleneK

IleneK

Premium Member
ChildOfVenus said:
I haven't pulled a horary chart with this particular question this is the first time.
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You have. You did it with me by PM; you asked me to run a chart for you and delineate it, and I did and sent you the results.

The first [and true] chart I cast at your request about having sex was cast about an hour or so before the first chart that you cite in this thread asking if he will contact you.

Just trying to keep it real.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
IleneK said:
You have. You did it with me by PM; you asked me to run a chart for you and delineate it, and I did and sent you the results.

The first [and true] chart I cast at your request about having sex was cast about an hour or so before the first chart that you cite in this thread asking if he will contact you.

Just trying to keep it real.
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I thought you were just reading the synastry chart but I haven't received a PM from you.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
ChildOfVenus said:
I won't really like it? Do you mean physically? I would have to agree to do things that I really don't want to do? Meaning what exactly?
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The chart doesn't spell that out. Could mean physically, could mean emotionally. No matter what the real life details are, there's something about this person's terms for having a sexual relationship that doesn't suit you. And he's firm on those terms (Saturn domiciled). He isn't willing/able to compromise.
ChildOfVenus said:
As for do I really want this person? Not in a romantic way but as a close friend with benefits.
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That, my friend, is crucial information. Before you mentioned the "friends with benefits" detail, my take on the situation was that you don't really want a romantic partner at all (position of Saturn in the first chart), but you somehow feel you ought to want one, and this person is someone you like well enough, so why not him? But that you want a friend with benefits changes the story a bit.

In the second chart, everything about your interest's significator screams commitment. Saturn, Capricorn, seventh house: this is someone who wants a committed relationship and won't settle for anything less. If you don't want a committed relationship, you won't be comfortable at all with those terms. But to have sex with him, you would have to agree to a committed relationship with him. He absolutely does not want a friend with benefits.

You just as absolutely do not want a committed relationship. The position of Saturn in the first chart speaks to that.

ChildOfVenus said:
This is our synastry chart I thought that we could be close friends based on our synastry.
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Synastry charts don't belong in the horary section. If you want a synastry reading, take it to Read My Chart. Or, if you have your own interpretation and you just want others to give secondary opinions, Relational Astrology.

But synastry doesn't tell us what kind of relationship a person wants at any given time. If you don't both want the same kind of relationship, that trumps any "good" synastry you may have.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
The chart doesn't spell that out. Could mean physically, could mean emotionally. No matter what the real life details are, there's something about this person's terms for having a sexual relationship that doesn't suit you. And he's firm on those terms (Saturn domiciled). He isn't willing/able to compromise.

That, my friend, is crucial information. Before you mentioned the "friends with benefits" detail, my take on the situation was that you don't really want a romantic partner at all (position of Saturn in the first chart), but you somehow feel you ought to want one, and this person is someone you like well enough, so why not him? But that you want a friend with benefits changes the story a bit.

In the second chart, everything about your interest's significator screams commitment. Saturn, Capricorn, seventh house: this is someone who wants a committed relationship and won't settle for anything less. If you don't want a committed relationship, you won't be comfortable at all with those terms. But to have sex with him, you would have to agree to a committed relationship with him. He absolutely does not want a friend with benefits.

You just as absolutely do not want a committed relationship. The position of Saturn in the first chart speaks to that.



Synastry charts don't belong in the horary section. If you want a synastry reading, take it to Read My Chart. Or, if you have your own interpretation and you just want others to give secondary opinions, Relational Astrology.

But synastry doesn't tell us what kind of relationship a person wants at any given time. If you don't both want the same kind of relationship, that trumps any "good" synastry you may have.
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Honestly I've thought about what it would be like being in a committed relationship with him. He asked me twice to go out with him but I didn't. Instead I asked him to be friends with benefits. And he said he was ok with it because he was always into me. So if he's into commitment then why would he agree to being friends with benefits? I wish I would have just gone out with him. Recently I told him I didn't connect emotionally with people. That I'm hurting and that if he were really interested we would have gone out by now. He works a lot and so he's busy. It was during the time that transit moon was in my 8th house. He said he would talk to me within the next week. But that was two weeks ago. He hasn't read my messages and I know he's been online. I know I messed up but I really want to go out with him. And honestly I wouldn't mind being in a committed relationship if that's what he wanted I would be committed.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
I do want to be in a relationship I'm just afraid of being hurt. So I avoid romantic relationships. And use sex as a defense mechanism. But I really would be with him. Like I would leave the other men alone. I wish he would talk to me but I know I upset him.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
ChildOfVenus said:
I do want to be in a relationship I'm just afraid of being hurt. So I avoid romantic relationships. And use sex as a defense mechanism. But I really would be with him. Like I would leave the other men alone. I wish he would talk to me but I know I upset him.
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You don't know what's going on for him. You're not him. If he hasn't talked to you, he can't possibly have told you that you upset him, so how do you know what he's thinking?

You told him the truth: you don't connect emotionally with people and you only want to be friends with benefits. Your first of those two horary charts paints that picture, in fact: Saturn, the solitary planet that needs its space, contentedly in its own sign, solitary in the twelfth (house of Saturn's joy). No aspects, either: you're not connected with anyone in that way.

If that's where you're at, emotionally, then you're not ready for a committed relationship. A committed relationship doesn't just mean you don't date other people. It also means you're emotionally committed to your partner. That requires emotional connection, not sex as a defense mechanism.

He may have said okay, let's be friends with benefits, but if he hasn't taken you up on those benefits, it doesn't sound like that's important to him. Typically, when someone asks a friend who they have feelings for out, they're not asking for sex, they're asking for a chance to connect emotionally. Sex may come into the picture, but as a result of making a stronger emotional connection, not in place of.

You didn't ruin this, because there was really nothing to ruin. You were never ready to give him what he wants in the first place, and he isn't someone who can give you what you want, if what you want is sex without emotional connection. If you want to shift your patterns and have an emotionally connected sexual relationship, dating someone who needs and wants an emotional connection before sex isn't the place to start. That's not fair to the other person. You can only, fairly, date people whose emotional and sexual needs match yours.
 
C

ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
You don't know what's going on for him. You're not him. If he hasn't talked to you, he can't possibly have told you that you upset him, so how do you know what he's thinking?

You told him the truth: you don't connect emotionally with people and you only want to be friends with benefits. Your first of those two horary charts paints that picture, in fact: Saturn, the solitary planet that needs its space, contentedly in its own sign, solitary in the twelfth (house of Saturn's joy). No aspects, either: you're not connected with anyone in that way.

If that's where you're at, emotionally, then you're not ready for a committed relationship. A committed relationship doesn't just mean you don't date other people. It also means you're emotionally committed to your partner. That requires emotional connection, not sex as a defense mechanism.

He may have said okay, let's be friends with benefits, but if he hasn't taken you up on those benefits, it doesn't sound like that's important to him. Typically, when someone asks a friend who they have feelings for out, they're not asking for sex, they're asking for a chance to connect emotionally. Sex may come into the picture, but as a result of making a stronger emotional connection, not in place of.

You didn't ruin this, because there was really nothing to ruin. You were never ready to give him what he wants in the first place, and he isn't someone who can give you what you want, if what you want is sex without emotional connection. If you want to shift your patterns and have an emotionally connected sexual relationship, dating someone who needs and wants an emotional connection before sex isn't the place to start. That's not fair to the other person. You can only, fairly, date people whose emotional and sexual needs match yours.
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Well I've realized that I actually want to get to know him. I feel like I could possibly connect with him on an emotional level. Regardless of what the chart says I want to at least try. I'm not happy not being able to connect emotionally. I feel that he could help me overcome this. I know what it means to be committed. I was in a relationship for 9 years. But it didn't work out because I wasn't happy just comfortable. Since then I've been hooking up with the Virgo. But now I want something different and I want it with this guy. Right now my progressed Sun is conjunct his natal Venus. I just want to try with him it took me all this time. To finally realize that he was trying to get to know me. But I really want to do this.
 
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Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
ChildOfVenus said:
Well I've realized that I actually want to get to know him. I feel like I could possibly connect with him on an emotional level. Regardless of what the chart says I want to at least try. I'm not happy not being able to connect emotionally. I feel that he could help me overcome this.
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That would be, at best, a one sided relationship. All about what he can do for you, no consideration for what he might need you to do for him. And you don't even know if he would be willing to help you overcome this. Based on the second chart in particular, I don't think he is. He needs someone who's already ready for emotional connection and commitment. You're not. Ready to start working on it, maybe, but that's not the same thing as being ready for it.

Even if he were willing, though, it's the wrong thing to ask of him. He's not your therapist. He's your friend and love interest. Close personal friends and romantic partners are not the people we should ever ask to change us. If you're not ready for the kind of relationship he wants, it's not fair to ask him to make you ready. That's your responsibility. Before you can have that kind of relationship, you have to make yourself ready for it. If you can't do it alone, seek help from someone who doesn't have a personal stake in the outcome--a therapist, for instance.

In these charts, you and he take turns being Saturn and Moon. I think that shows us what you both need. Saturn needs its equal, and if that equal isn't present, Saturn prefers to be alone. Moon needs emotional security. The second chart in particular shows your emotional security needs not matching his need for an equal.

ChildOfVenus said:
I know what it means to be committed. I was in a relationship for 9 years. But it didn't work out because I wasn't happy just comfortable.
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Were you emotionally committed to that previous partner? Or was that also a relationship where you didn't connect emotionally and used sex as a defense mechanism?
 
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