Saturn can make you hyperaware of social rules, but that doesn't mean you're able or willing to abide by them with ease.
Saturn is rigid. If it's retrograde (as in my case), then the limitations, restrictions, delays and other synonyms for blockages, get turned inward. You can become very critical of your social self, including your accomplishments and appearance. People may find you intimidating or sober so that they don't feel at ease around you. Alternatively, you may be willing to break social rules if you realize you won't be hindered, or if you lack confidence. I think it's more of a stereotypically Venusian/Libran type (maybe even Leo) that understands and plays by the social rules. They can be ruthless at that (I know, because I've come to realize in the last year that I'm able to do this - very much to my surprise - it's not frequent, though).
edit: Also, LoL, sometimes I think Saturn is the typical misanthropist. Anyway, other Saturnians may have different experiences; as always, I think it depends on how Saturn is placed in the chart.
As a Libra, I'll admit I don't know where most of these stereotypes come from because most of the traits attributed to us, are the very traits that cause me to have difficulty with Capricorns! (Though in some ways, you could argue that these signs aren't really that different when you think about it)
Libra has a strong awareness of other people (a sense of justice) and Saturn is actually exalted in Libra, which makes a lot of sense (I'd say Saturn is more justice-orientated than Venus is - justice isn't always pleasant). However, Venus isn't really about social rules in the same sense Saturn is. The way I see it, Saturn is the rule follower (or the rule maker?) and Uranus is the rule breaker (not talking strictly about people here!). Venus isn't really about rules at all. Venus itself is neither rebellious or rigid. Venus is about relationships, love, romance, beauty. Your ability to seduce and your ability to climb up the social ladder are two very different things.
Like, I've been called socially awkward. I've never been popular and I've always had a hard time making friends. But not a hard time keeping them. It isn't hard for me to relate to people. I don't see myself as having bad interpersonal skills at all, just bad social-climbing skills, and tbh, I can't say I put much effort into cultivating these skills! I like to talk and I like to socialize, but only if we're actually talking. I don't have bad conversation skills, but let's say I'm at a party, I'm going to keep to myself (possibly get depressed!) and wait for someone to talk to me. I get lost and confused in crowds. I find that amongst groups, people are much less honest, they're always trying desperately to fit in, and as a result, no real communication (Mercury) or intimacy (Venus) takes place. I don't mind talking about nothing for the sake of talking so long as it's honest nothing but don't forget, the element of air is about IDEAS and we live in a world where it's much more socially acceptable to talk about the weather and if that's all you can talk about, I'd rather talk to my journal
Saturn can be misanthropic and antisocial but it can also be hierarchal. Venus isn't either one of these things.
Venus is much warmer, more empathetic, than Saturn is. Saturn is colder, more detached, but often, that's what life, the game of social climbing, requires. In middle school, for example, kids will often their social dominance by bullying others (I wouldn't necessarily say this is Saturnian but it definitely isn't Venusian), and others would join in, so as to not get bullied themselves. Vulnerability, or empathy, or the expression of feeling - these things can be seen as weaknesses, thereby ruining your chances at social success. Sometimes, this changes as you get older but sometimes, sadly, it doesn't.
Earth signs and Saturnians are often quiet, more introverted, but in my experience (not saying this is always the case), this quietness often stems from a fear of saying anything out of the norm and not fitting in, or as you said, self-judgement. Gemini is more social, more conversational than say, Capricorn, Taurus or Scorpio, but if you like to talk, the odds are you'll say things that get you ostracized. Gemini has good people skills but (as a sign) it doesn't lack confidence and therefore doesn't worry so much about "fitting in" or people think it's crazy. In my EXPERIENCE, Gemini is more "social" but Capricorn is more "normal" (by my own definitions). The same can be said of Leo: not everyone appreciates seeing confidence in others and if you're confident, you're not going to worry much about being appreciated by others!
Tbh you wouldn't constantly hear and read about how many people hate Libra and Gemini if they were really as popular and well-liked as everyone says.
. Out of all the elements, I feel earth signs understand me the least and I, them (despite having an earth moon!). I find that they're often critical, rigid, misanthropic and judgmental of anything outside the established conventions and social norms. Of course this isn't always the case. Just my experience with certain people (usually lacking in air/mutable influence)
I'm not saying that Saturn isn't a lone wolf. I can totally see how it is. I'm just not sure what this "lone wolf syndrome" actually means. I don't think there's any one planet or aspect or whatever that indicates this because it can mean many different things depending on your outlook, and sometimes this conflicts with the steretoypes.
The 7th house is about interpersonal relationships, contracts, partnerships. The 10th house is about social status, your public persona. The 11th house is about community, friendship. All of this is simplified but I think it's important to distinguish between these areas of life. Someone may be skilled in 10th house matters but not 7th house matters and vice versa.
(On another note, the 2nd house, also ruled by Venus, is about material possessions)
A lot of this is just subjective opinion but hopefully I'm making at least a little bit of a sense?
