I don't think this thread is a train wreck -- it reads like there were some misunderstandings that needed to get sorted out, and everyone was very civil (although maybe hurt)....to me, it looks like you guys aired some things out and set the record straight - AND I think this is a very interesting question!!
For ME, I will admit that I am only JUST beginning to understand true astrology, and haven't made it through my whole chart just yet, but from what I've found so far....I have to post two, because I think they are feeding off of eachother and working to block any real peace and contentment I could feel....
Venus (Virgo) square Ascendant (Sagittarius) and Sun (Libra) square Mars (Capricorn)
I am starting to think that these two aspects are at the root of most of my emotional PAIN that I just cannot control - I have struggled my entire life with anorexia and BDD, and as I've worked very hard with journaling, affirmations, Inner Child work (only a little), NOTHING will keep the Venus sq AS from believing that my only worth is how attractive I am to my significant other - and I think my Sun sq Mars takes the FEAR in that and just RUNS with it, ringing alarm bells all along the way.
And there is NO amount of reassurance my husband can give me, I always need MORE, or need to MAKE SURE....it's like a drug fix, I can't settle my mind without it. And I don't even believe him - I look at myself, and I'm sure he's lying, he has to be - and I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin if I don't get away....or starve myself.
So I don't know which of those is the worst - probably the Venus square AS, because I think it's singular function in my life is to warn me that I am falling FAR short of being attractive enough to have any value, and I have never been able to control it.
At least the Sun square Mars has lots of other positive energy and can be a benefit, and I kind of know how to direct it.
There could be others that I discover as I go along, but knowing the pain that I have every day from those two aspects, I doubt there is any more difficult aspect in my chart...
If anyone has any advice on how to control or "transform" the negative energy from that Venus square AS, I'd be so happy to hear it!