hbn, just judging from your comments, they seem to be other- and outer-directed. Bad feelings are something that just blindside you. Job loss, more successful friends, feeling used, and so on.... is the universe really out to get you? Why not just stand on your own two feet, and shout to the universe, "This is me! This is my life! I am proud of it!"
If you are interested in astrology, I think it can really help you. By sign, house, and aspect, develop some empowering interpretations of your planetary placements. To your credit you have an extra-strong Saturn in its own sign Capricorn; and Mercury in Gemini.
Saturn teaches us to be patient, to persevere, to meet the material world head-on as it exists, and to get by with very little. If you start learning his lessons, you can develop personal pride in your resourcefulness. Mercury in Gemini is bright, a quick thinker, an information-lover, and able to view multiple sides of an issue. These are like the Ace of trumps in a bridge hand, but as in bridge, the player has to handle them with some skill and attention to the game.
If we combine these two, you can train yourself to a a careful (Saturn) thinker (Mercury), someone who enjoys learning (Mercury) how to live resourcefully (Saturn) in today's rotten economy,
Relationships may always be a challenge for you, with your planetary heavies in the 11th house of friends, and Venus conjunct Chiron in the 5th house of love affairs. This doesn't mean you should give up on them or think this means there is anything wrong with you. Rather, each chart shows some strengths and assets, and some challenges and weaknesses. You are who you are, and you will find people who are compatible with you, but perhapsnot many, or all at one time. Nuthin' wrong with that.
Good luck to you! Fortunately time is on your side.
sun: ego) square