How to decrease pride

It's me folks.

I'm very proud, as well as stubborn and "borderline arrogant" (said by someone I know). It doesn't outflow in an obvious way; I've done a pretty good job of not being known as an insufferable blowhard. BUT, anyone who gives me direct instruction or "advice" tells me that I'm too stubborn and I don't listen to them. I'm not bothered if 9/10 people think this way about me, but both of my parents within a week of each other stated as much about me, independent of any communication I might add. I also have an irrational belief in my own invulnerability and even in the dead of night, I like to stroll to my destinations although the majority of people advise against it(my country isn't safe)

To be honest, I see a lot of positives in these qualities but I'm concerned of the negatives. I don't want to be the type of person who disregards good counsel because of some immature need to remain independent, but I also don't want to be directed by anyone but myself in regard to the direction of my life. There is also the fact that having humility keeps your options open in life, as you perceive the value in even the "lowest" situations which can be capitalized on accordingly.

Anyway, I'm asking on possible solutions on how to decrease pride; some actionable ideas that can be implemented. Whether of a spiritual or mundane type I will look into.

Thanks all

Courage is fine. Sun-Pluto gives you a sense of personal power.

But with a shortage of water in your chart and your Aquarian moon, you may lack the ability to empathize with people and to put yourself in their shoes. Your lone water planet, Saturn in Pisces is sufficiently stressed that you may know that you have difficulty in "feeling with" other people.

Sagittarius has a reputation for arrogance, possibly due to the Jupiter influence (Roman king of the gods.) You have five planets in Sagittarius, so you're Sagittarius amplified. Then Saturn is implicated in your other planets (traditional ruler of Aquarius) so you're not going to come across as Mr. Warm N. Fuzzy.

I think the best thing you can do is to get that you've got a Sagittarian-Saturnian type of chart, and try, try, try to be a good listener. Don't assume that you know best without hearing out the people in your life, and acknowledging that they may know something as well as you do.

The moon may be your best ally here. Aquarian moons are not warm and caring, but the people I've known with this placement have lots of friends. The moon is a fast-moving planet, so pay attention to your progressions. When it's in a water sign or a helpful sign like Virgo, you may get a bit of a boost in letting people touch you.

Are you familiar with that Leonard Cohen song, "Suzanne"?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkamRumVXn4

Thanks Way, the song is soothing and I see what you're getting at by posting it.

That Saturn is also cranked up a notch by being stationary... warm and fuzzy wouldn't make it to 50 on my traits list.

I've actually begun trying to listen to people more. I can feel the internal resistance in my gut every time I give people any "space" in my mind. I'm working on making that sensation a little less dominating.

My progressed Moon is currently in Scorpio now actually, but that's the water sign least likely to let others in. It doesn't help that I also have 4 planets + asc in Capricorn. Still, I'm trying to "overcome" myself and that means any deficiency in my character that I see I desire to reform.

In honor of your 12th house Sag stellium, I will say it with a proverb:

King James Proverbs 16:18



Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

My Irish Grandma used to say it as a simple warning, when my Scorpio/Cap nature got too haughty---- "Pride Goeth Before A Fall, ....so take a deep breath, and think a minute..."

You could look up what Castaneda said about self-importance and the need to reduce it. There are some quotes on this page, if you use PAGE - FIND - IMPORTANCE.

http://www.highest-yoga.info/en/yoga/yoga-of-juan-matus.html

Is your progressed Saturn now squaring Jupiter much more exactly, by any chance?
.

Hi CT !
As per vedic, your moon is in Aquarius Dhanishta the dolphin. It is conjunct Saturn in Aquarius P.Bhadra in the 3rd house of friends. Currently you are in Jupiter Dasha and it is in Scorpio Jyestha the eldest one in the 12th house. It is aspected by Saturn also.
So this means that first you have to develop your own principles for which you have to listen to your inner voice.
After which you will automatically get a friends circle. Scorpio Jyestha is rather secretive and has a close circle of confidantes only. Nothing wrong with that.
In fact the 12th house is packed with Scorpio Anuradha also. So you may end up pricking someones ego. It is a part of the game.
Here is a quote from Martin Luther king which summarises the essence of this placement :
There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.
God bless !

conspiracy theorist said:

I've actually begun trying to listen to people more. I can feel the internal resistance in my gut every time I give people any "space" in my mind. I'm working on making that sensation a little less dominating.

.......... I'm trying to "overcome" myself and that means any deficiency in my character that I see I desire to reform.

Click to expand...

If you were to add the astrological point MEAN Black Moon Lilith lilth to your chart grid, you might experience that you have more feeling towards and regarding the effect of others than you imagine......you simply don't allow it to be shown. Showing how much one actually needs and cares....that might undergo rejection .... can hurt, can't it? Better to let it lie deep within?
MEAN BML suggests much about how a child experiences life until puberty sets in, after which Moon takes over.

The position in your chart is inconjunct Sun-Mercury, square Chiron, and might just scrape in as an opposition with Venus. This could suggest that the situational experiences of the 5th, 6th, 9th and 10th houses with others (7th house influence) are locked deep inside. They may need to become consciously aware, through Sun's co-rulership of 8th house....often following maturity.

If sec. progr. Moon is in Scorpio, it will soon conjoin transiting MEAN BML, which is ready to conjoin natal Pluto. I wonder if that is a co-incidence? Sagittarius is very much about 'Know Thyself', which a strong 12th house influence might have a necessity to recognise, and either lose or find in order to enable the self-undoing to undo itself.

All commentaries here are so wonderful, I hope I can be of any help too.

Opposite of pride is humble. Every time I see someone turn humble from arrogant is after they feel the pain... So it's up to you, do you want to have to experience the pain before the change is inevitable? That is up to you, you really have not to respond to me in any way.

And indeed again, Pride goeth before destruction. However, this is YOUR karmic experience, whether you want to feel the pain or not, is entirely up to you. What you can't have is lying to yourself and say "ah I have overcome this" when you didn't, you cannot cheat...

Now as for how, well I believe it's just about seeing that you really know nothing and admitting this to yourself "I know one thing, that i know nothing" but at the same time, you cannot just accept that you know nothing, at least that's how I try to keep myself humble. Only real life experiences will open your mind but you can fasten this by trying to increase your empathy, the trick here, can be accepting their realities and pre-conditions of their lives.

It seems from what you've posted that you have a very good sense of how to move forward. Pluto will be very persuasive, but you are already able to witness that gut resistance without being caught up in it. I think the fact that the Sun and Pluto are in the 12th is really important, because the 12th house represents the experience of being someone who can act as a channel for that which needs to be redeemed or capitalised upon so that things can move forward in a fruitful way; this involves being receptive to stuff being carried by others.

C.t., you have a great Chart, and a great personality. Your only problem is, you want to be perfect--might be Saturn in Pisces Square Jupiter in Sagittarius.

katydid said:

In honor of your 12th house Sag stellium, I will say it with a proverb:

King James Proverbs 16:18



Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

Click to expand...

katydid said:

My Irish Grandma used to say it as a simple warning, when my Scorpio/Cap nature got too haughty---- "Pride Goeth Before A Fall, ....so take a deep breath, and think a minute..."

Click to expand...

Yep, and it's just that fall that I want to avoid. It's not easy mind you because I can become cold and judgmental pretty easily, and then my stubborn streak kicks in and I become locked up in that cycle.

Sweet Pea said:

You could look up what Castaneda said about self-importance and the need to reduce it. There are some quotes on this page, if you use PAGE - FIND - IMPORTANCE.

http://www.highest-yoga.info/en/yoga/yoga-of-juan-matus.html

Is your progressed Saturn now squaring Jupiter much more exactly, by any chance?
.

Click to expand...

Thanks for the reply and I'll take a look on that page later.

No, the square is now very wide in my progressed chart however Saturn is currently on my ascendant at 26 Sagittarius. All this time I was anticipating this transit and wondering what the major event would be that coincided with it. Well, down to the minute that Saturn hit my asc I got news that my great grandmother, who was integral to my childhood, died. She herself was going through her 3rd Saturn return and when the Moon passed over Saturn a couple of days ago that was when the grim reaper struck. It's an understatement that this is going to cause a total restructuring of my and my family's life going forward.

Saturn wants to enact total maturity in my life.

RaRohini said:

Hi CT !
As per vedic, your moon is in Aquarius Dhanishta the dolphin. It is conjunct Saturn in Aquarius P.Bhadra in the 3rd house of friends. Currently you are in Jupiter Dasha and it is in Scorpio Jyestha the eldest one in the 12th house. It is aspected by Saturn also.
So this means that first you have to develop your own principles for which you have to listen to your inner voice.
After which you will automatically get a friends circle. Scorpio Jyestha is rather secretive and has a close circle of confidantes only. Nothing wrong with that.
In fact the 12th house is packed with Scorpio Anuradha also. So you may end up pricking someones ego. It is a part of the game.
Here is a quote from Martin Luther king which summarises the essence of this placement :
There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.
God bless !

Click to expand...

Thanks RR for the look.

Everything you state is a good fit as to how I operate in the world. I'm not particularly interested in a wide circle of friends and even close confidantes aren't something I really need in my life.

My inner spirit though; that is one thing that I am interested in flourishing and actualizing. Making that inner truth apparent to my self and to the greater world is what I am working towards, and relaxing the stifling grip that pride has on becoming truly free and unfettered is my current inner project. I must say I'm getting better at catching myself in the act, so to speak.

Frisiangal said:

If you were to add the astrological point MEAN Black Moon Lilith lilth to your chart grid, you might experience that you have more feeling towards and regarding the effect of others than you imagine......you simply don't allow it to be shown. Showing how much one actually needs and cares....that might undergo rejection .... can hurt, can't it? Better to let it lie deep within?
MEAN BML suggests much about how a child experiences life until puberty sets in, after which Moon takes over.

The position in your chart is inconjunct Sun-Mercury, square Chiron, and might just scrape in as an opposition with Venus. This could suggest that the situational experiences of the 5th, 6th, 9th and 10th houses with others (7th house influence) are locked deep inside. They may need to become consciously aware, through Sun's co-rulership of 8th house....often following maturity.

If sec. progr. Moon is in Scorpio, it will soon conjoin transiting MEAN BML, which is ready to conjoin natal Pluto. I wonder if that is a co-incidence? Sagittarius is very much about 'Know Thyself', which a strong 12th house influence might have a necessity to recognise, and either lose or find in order to enable the self-undoing to undo itself.

Click to expand...

Hey thanks Frisiangal,

Oh don't be mistaken, I'm not fooling myself that I am some kind of robot who doesn't care for anyone but I can honestly say that through self-aware and honest appraisal as well as interacting with other people in the world, my threshold for "lonerness" is much higher than the average.

I try to live by the credo "Nothing ventured, nothing gained" so I subject myself to losing and rejection as a matter of principle. How can I become better if I don't make mistakes? Rejection hurts sure, but I don't shy away from it.

"Know thyself" is another saying I take to heart, and I am prepared to dig more deeper than I have in the past, and believe me, I'm not afraid of my own depths.

argnoferich said:

All commentaries here are so wonderful, I hope I can be of any help too.

Opposite of pride is humble. Every time I see someone turn humble from arrogant is after they feel the pain... So it's up to you, do you want to have to experience the pain before the change is inevitable? That is up to you, you really have not to respond to me in any way.

And indeed again, Pride goeth before destruction. However, this is YOUR karmic experience, whether you want to feel the pain or not, is entirely up to you. What you can't have is lying to yourself and say "ah I have overcome this" when you didn't, you cannot cheat...

Now as for how, well I believe it's just about seeing that you really know nothing and admitting this to yourself "I know one thing, that i know nothing" but at the same time, you cannot just accept that you know nothing, at least that's how I try to keep myself humble. Only real life experiences will open your mind but you can fasten this by trying to increase your empathy, the trick here, can be accepting their realities and pre-conditions of their lives.

Click to expand...

Definitely the goal is to become more humble (which means to me a perception of my own and others actual capacities in a situation). For instance, if I am better than someone at something, especially when empirical proof is involved, saying to myself "No, this person is just as good as me" would be indulging in false pride, which I actually think is another manifestation of pride through reaction formation.

Real life will deal with me like it has dealt with everyone else, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

miquar said:

It seems from what you've posted that you have a very good sense of how to move forward. Pluto will be very persuasive, but you are already able to witness that gut resistance without being caught up in it. I think the fact that the Sun and Pluto are in the 12th is really important, because the 12th house represents the experience of being someone who can act as a channel for that which needs to be redeemed or capitalised upon so that things can move forward in a fruitful way; this involves being receptive to stuff being carried by others.

Click to expand...

Perhaps you're right but getting it out in writing and articulating it has done much in the way of gaining a grip on it. That's probably a testament to my 3rd house Aqua Moon.

david starling said:

C.t., you have a great Chart, and a great personality. Your only problem is, you want to be perfect--might be Saturn in Pisces Square Jupiter in Sagittarius.

Click to expand...

Thanks m8. I think I got more problems but you've nailed it that I've got perfectionist tendencies.

Hi CT,
ever look into being an Indigo? They tend to be stubborn and also feel invulnerable... You can PM me for more info...

Bina said:

Hi CT,
ever look into being an Indigo? They tend to be stubborn and also feel invulnerable... You can PM me for more info...

Click to expand...

When I was 15. I read the listed traits of indigos and I came to the conclusion that what they were describing was a spoiled brat. It didn't help how self-congratulatory the self described indigos were about their supposed superiority.

It's an idea that is supported by the buddhists (correct me if I'm wrong) who claim that this is the age of 1,000 buddhas, that is evolved spiritual beings coming to Earth to act as a counter- force for the darkness of this age.

That trek was years ago though so I'd be interested in hearing your take on it.