Should I marry him?

redrobin23

Well-known member
Ok, this is not as fatalistic as it may sound, but I need some clues whether it's true love on his part. So, I've known this man a long time. I met him in high school. We were friends and both dating other people. After we graduated we remained in contact, of course. I moved away and started my life in a new city. At first we called each other constantly but as the years passed the calls were fewer. During my life abroad I came back home to visit family and had a fling with him...Oops. Anyway, our feelings grew for each other at a distance. Still I had no intention of coming back or being with him. Everything was fine until a substanial twist of fate changed my life and brought me back to the start. Since then we have began a commited relationship ( which Im aware now, may not have been the best choice. Idk, im in love it's complicated). I know most our wondering what's the problem, right? Ok, here is where it gets tricky. My current beau is not a citizen and he wants citizenship. He's not forcing me to marry him, which no one can anyway, but he wants me to kind of promise him I will eventually. Plus, the hinting around about how his life would be better and so fourth..I love him and I know he loves me..but to what extent. I want to help him yet I'm not exactly comfortable having my back against the ropes. So, I wonder. Does he really love me or does he want to take advantage of my kindness? If I do marry him, will he leave after he has citizenship or is it really love? Am i just letting fear take control? Honestly, I do want to help him, but I dont want to get hurt in the process. This is why I question the validity of the realtionship. I really do love him as person and friend, but again, I'm not sure if it's fear that's holding me back or reasonable doubt. Is it wrong to think twice before entering a union? Should those feeling even be present in a relationship or is that nagging feeling on point?

Please...Please Astrologers Community Help me!!!!! I'm so confused


 
Last edited:

anjelik

Well-known member
I say with astrology aside, if you are questioning someone's sincerity then it would probably make the most sense to no longer continue the relationship.

From an astrology perspective, it would appear that you don't see him in a very serious light, as his significator is in your 5th house. So this is clearly not as serious relationship from your perspective. I think it is also concerning that your significator is in the 2nd house (material possessions), which would be his turned 8th house of joint possessions / inheritances. There is no aspect between the moon (you) and Saturn (him). According to the chart, you should not marry him.
 

redrobin23

Well-known member
Thank you, Anjelik for the much needed clarity. I have another question though, if you dont mind me asking. You stated that my significator in the second house is opposite his in the eighth, what does that mean exactly? Will he benefit from me financially- inheritance, death etc? Now, that you brought it to my attention. I noticed the 5th house is ruled by Scorpio, the notorious lover of sex. Does he only desire me sexually, mutual? Could this relationship really be based on what he can get? Can you explain, please...
 

waybread

Well-known member
Apart from whether you "should" marry this man, I don't get a sense that this marriage will actually happen. With Cancer ruling the first house, you are signified by the moon. She's in the second house, suggesting to me you are concerned about either financial issues or perhaps whether or not you really have a shared sense of values.

Your BF is ruled by Saturn, in the 5th house of love affairs, which makes me wonder, as well, whether you see him more as a BF than as a spouse; or whether children might be at issue. Possibly he wants some and you do not, or vice versa (and I don't know your ages!)

The moon applies to a square with Mars, which does not indicate "happy ever after" even if you did marry; and before this square perfects, the moon applies to several other planets, suggesting some intervening issues will come your way.

I might mention that I am a dual US-Canadian citizen. My husband is a Canadian citizen only, and we live in Canada. I looked seriously at getting him a green card to live in the US, and it wasn't that easy. After you make the application, the length of time that it takes varies, as they go through the husband's documentation. Which can be complicated if your BF has lived in more than 2 countries, can't locate his birth certificate, or whatnot. During that time, he can't really leave the US, as the immigration service then assumes that he's left the country. The wait time, back when we checked it, could take as little as 6 months, but there was no guarantee that it wouldn't be stalled indefinitely. Permission can be denied if the immigration service suspects a marriage of convenience, if the husband has any kind of a police record (even for shop-lfting) or any sort of complication.

My sense is that you could go ahead and marry, only to find that the path to US citizenship gets badly complicated, anyway.

In your heart of hearts-- I know you love him-- but do you truly want to spend the rest of your life with him?
 

tsmall

Premium Member
The moon applies to a square with Mars, which does not indicate "happy ever after" even if you did marry; and before this square perfects, the moon applies to several other planets, suggesting some intervening issues will come your way.

Er. Moon applies to a sextile with Mars (the exaltation ruler of the 7th), which means the Moon is seeking to connect with Mars in an intimate way. Hence, the question... and a square with Saturn (the ruler of the 7th.) Moon is seeking to connect with the exaltation ruler of her 7th house (Mars) who is retrograde and in detriment in her 4th (retrograde planets are not able to receive anything...this could be described as a collision, with Moon pushing nature and Mars not able to accept...returning, being forced or compelled to do something you likely don't want to do. In the case of Mars, for not being in the Moon's debilities, at least we have returning not with corruption, but still...) Moon applying to Mars with Mars retro means that whatever is being pushed will be sent back. Mars is completely unable to receive anything because he has his own problems. Actually, with Mars so debilitated, it wouldn't surprise that what happens is that Mars is clinging to a lifeline and willing to do whatever it takes to find one.

The applying square to Saturn? Ouch. Saturn is not only the ruler of the 7th, and so the quesited, but retrograde in the 5th...not of boyfriend but of risk taking. Will you marry me so that I can get out of the situation I'm in? Saturn is so far out of sect...his only saving grace could possibly be that he is in masculine quadrant. Saturn is doing something completely inappropriate. Saturn in Scorpio? The fall of the Moon? In his own house of trust and friendship? "Step into my parlour said the Spider to the Fly."

Thankfully, after being void for a terrific number of degrees, Mercury interferes with these aspects between Moon and Mars/Saturn. I'd need to check the dignities further (this is a cursory glance just based on the chart as given) but Mercury is L12 and 4...

In your heart of hearts-- I know you love him-- but do you truly want to spend the rest of your life with him?

How do you know this from the chart?

Should you marry him? No. No way. Lucky for you, your chart says not only should you not, but will you not.
 

waybread

Well-known member
tsmall, thanks for the slap upside the head for my goof. Unfortunately the chart has expired, so I can't go back and recheck my work.

How do I know she loves him?

I love him and I know he loves me..but to what extent.
 

redrobin23

Well-known member
Thank you, Waybread for the information. It's true I'm kind of worried about finance, not that money is my saviour, but it's important for survival. I wonder will he make enough money? Will I have to support him or does he have his heart set on my savings? Why does love complicate everything. My heart replaces rational thought and I'm consumed with emotion and the sheer joy of truly helping someone, yet at the same time, I feel like hidden forces are intentionally keeping us apart. On top of all of the questions, my intuition is screaming there is something strange about him...

Your right I could marry him, but marriage is not the most viable choice. Plus, he wants children...and I'm not ready. Maybe, it will change in the future, but now is not the time.

I'm glad everything worked out well for you and your husband, though...

I almost forgot. We just became serious or should I say, I'm taking the relationship serious now.
 
Last edited:

redrobin23

Well-known member
Hi Tsmall! Thank you for the colorful interpretation lol.. It's freighteng and intriguing how you can delineate any story based on a chart, amazing!!! Finance is one of the issues here. I believe a spiritul union such as marriage should be allowing both partners to grow, spirituall, economically, etc...not stifling the other and both sinking. And From what I observed stability is key with any successful relationship..... Your interpretation did raise another question, if you don't mind me asking.

You Said him (saturn) is doing something completly inappropriate in Scorpio and in his own house of trust and friendship..? What does it mean? Can you shed some light on the situation?
 

waybread

Well-known member
One thing you might do for more clarity is to post both your horoscopes on a separate thread. If you don't have a birthtime for him, just insert it as "unknown" so we don't get bogus houses. This could help clarify issues in the relationship itself.
 
Top