shadowself
Member
Dear Readers,
I would like to share a one-of-a-kind story about my life what transformed itself to the biggest question mark I've ever encountered. For the best understanding, I will tell you the whole story step-by-step, but if you are interested only in the short question, please scroll down to the end of the post for a summary (bold text)!
So... Do you have popcorn around? Great.
1.) I had a serious relationship for almost 6 years, we even lived together. Mainly it was about restrictions and slowlig giving up my individual self, according to my higher studies and my wish to study or even live abroad.
2.) In february I met someone on my workplace and for me, karma itself knocked on my door that day. That man kicked in my engines in every way, he opened my eyes about a lot of things, most importantly, that I have the right to live my life according to my rules and wishes. He is greek and we met in Hungary, my homeland.
3.) Not because of the fairy-tale, but because of His truth, I broke up with my boyfriend and I decided to travel to Greece later in the spring. Not for him, I'd rather say, because of him. I've never been abroad alone before, I wanted to try myself out completely alone, to see what am I capable of, so I booked my tickets and in May, I had my first holiday alone in a city where I've never been before.
4.) Of course, things were not meant to be more than the previously mentioned "engine kicking", and it was fine for me. But, on the first day of my arrival, I went to a bar. I started to chat with the bartender, and after 15 minutes, he offered me an opportunity to work there. I thought all of that was a set-up, but it became serious.
5.) I went back home after a week. I burnt up all of my life in a month, I quit my job, I didn't have a place to live so I was living in 3 different places for a month. After my birthday, I came back to Greece in June and I started to work.
6.) Without any support, I managed to get a job, an apartment for rent and I created my own life, my own rules, my way of living. That whole experience was the best thing in my whole life.
I must mention my personal life for a moment: I was alone, I had no time for dating and so on. I had crush on someone, but nothing happened, I just collected a lot of big words from men, but no serious actions and it was really emotionally exhausting.
7.) And in the end of August, things started to fall apart. Completely.
8.) I had an accident (more specifically: a motorcycle hit me, I had head injuries), I was in a hospital and stayed home for 2 weeks, trying to recover. I couldn't work, I've started to run out of money.
9.) I went back to work, but only for one week, because after the summer season, the place had to decrease it's staff and it wasn't a surprise of course.
10.) Money 0, Health 0. One night, my landlord called me to tell, that I have 5 days to move out from my apartment. You can imagine the situation. I didn't really have time for creating my near future and I thought everything is against my stay, I was 100% sure that I have to move back to my homeland.
11.) I had a flirt that time, what seemed like only sexual - I didn't let myself to fall in love, because of the past experiences. I wanted to be correct, so I told Him, that I want to finish this "relationship", because of my situation. He became mad about it, and he wanted me to stay in Greece, no matter what. I refused to trust Him and his intentions.
12.) 5 days later I ended up having a bubble bath in his bathroom, with all of my luggages in his room. He finally earned my trust, he proved himself and for 2 months now, we are together as a couple and we live together with is mother and I was accepted as a 100% family member and we are trying to work this situation out.
13.) Health problems came back to my life around a month ago. I have PTSD symptoms, yeah, I know, that "airy" mental problems, but I feel now that this is not the period in my life to have even just a little peace and harmony. I have every support what I can get in this situation. But... But.
Everyone around me tell that I have to be patient with my recovery. And to give myself time, because I lived my life in a crazy rush for over a year and now I should stay on my butt for a little while. That's my fault, I'm not that patient type to be honest.
My final thoughts: Through all of these months and situations, I felt that I was pushed to the very edge, but I've always had support in the last moment, before everything would fallen apart. Somehow, someone was always there to hold my hand and soul, my ex co-workers were always there, my ex boss was supportive too, everyone. But it really bothers me, I can't decide... Is this all just a steadiness test or a stop sign?
Summary: Building a life in a foreign country is the part of my journey in this life or am I completely on the wrong path?
Thank you!
Ps.: I don't really know which chart is needed now, so I attached my natal, solar and my current transits. Sorry for the possible overload, hahahaha!
I would like to share a one-of-a-kind story about my life what transformed itself to the biggest question mark I've ever encountered. For the best understanding, I will tell you the whole story step-by-step, but if you are interested only in the short question, please scroll down to the end of the post for a summary (bold text)!
So... Do you have popcorn around? Great.1.) I had a serious relationship for almost 6 years, we even lived together. Mainly it was about restrictions and slowlig giving up my individual self, according to my higher studies and my wish to study or even live abroad.
2.) In february I met someone on my workplace and for me, karma itself knocked on my door that day. That man kicked in my engines in every way, he opened my eyes about a lot of things, most importantly, that I have the right to live my life according to my rules and wishes. He is greek and we met in Hungary, my homeland.
3.) Not because of the fairy-tale, but because of His truth, I broke up with my boyfriend and I decided to travel to Greece later in the spring. Not for him, I'd rather say, because of him. I've never been abroad alone before, I wanted to try myself out completely alone, to see what am I capable of, so I booked my tickets and in May, I had my first holiday alone in a city where I've never been before.
4.) Of course, things were not meant to be more than the previously mentioned "engine kicking", and it was fine for me. But, on the first day of my arrival, I went to a bar. I started to chat with the bartender, and after 15 minutes, he offered me an opportunity to work there. I thought all of that was a set-up, but it became serious.
5.) I went back home after a week. I burnt up all of my life in a month, I quit my job, I didn't have a place to live so I was living in 3 different places for a month. After my birthday, I came back to Greece in June and I started to work.
6.) Without any support, I managed to get a job, an apartment for rent and I created my own life, my own rules, my way of living. That whole experience was the best thing in my whole life.
I must mention my personal life for a moment: I was alone, I had no time for dating and so on. I had crush on someone, but nothing happened, I just collected a lot of big words from men, but no serious actions and it was really emotionally exhausting.
7.) And in the end of August, things started to fall apart. Completely.
8.) I had an accident (more specifically: a motorcycle hit me, I had head injuries), I was in a hospital and stayed home for 2 weeks, trying to recover. I couldn't work, I've started to run out of money.
9.) I went back to work, but only for one week, because after the summer season, the place had to decrease it's staff and it wasn't a surprise of course.
10.) Money 0, Health 0. One night, my landlord called me to tell, that I have 5 days to move out from my apartment. You can imagine the situation. I didn't really have time for creating my near future and I thought everything is against my stay, I was 100% sure that I have to move back to my homeland.
11.) I had a flirt that time, what seemed like only sexual - I didn't let myself to fall in love, because of the past experiences. I wanted to be correct, so I told Him, that I want to finish this "relationship", because of my situation. He became mad about it, and he wanted me to stay in Greece, no matter what. I refused to trust Him and his intentions.
12.) 5 days later I ended up having a bubble bath in his bathroom, with all of my luggages in his room. He finally earned my trust, he proved himself and for 2 months now, we are together as a couple and we live together with is mother and I was accepted as a 100% family member and we are trying to work this situation out.
13.) Health problems came back to my life around a month ago. I have PTSD symptoms, yeah, I know, that "airy" mental problems, but I feel now that this is not the period in my life to have even just a little peace and harmony. I have every support what I can get in this situation. But... But.
Everyone around me tell that I have to be patient with my recovery. And to give myself time, because I lived my life in a crazy rush for over a year and now I should stay on my butt for a little while. That's my fault, I'm not that patient type to be honest.
My final thoughts: Through all of these months and situations, I felt that I was pushed to the very edge, but I've always had support in the last moment, before everything would fallen apart. Somehow, someone was always there to hold my hand and soul, my ex co-workers were always there, my ex boss was supportive too, everyone. But it really bothers me, I can't decide... Is this all just a steadiness test or a stop sign?
Summary: Building a life in a foreign country is the part of my journey in this life or am I completely on the wrong path?
Thank you!
Ps.: I don't really know which chart is needed now, so I attached my natal, solar and my current transits. Sorry for the possible overload, hahahaha!
