Lack of social life, why

Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Pisces13 said:
It's probably because I've never had friends, so I never learned how to defend myself. Probably stems from childhood memories of not having any support, but rather the exact opposite. I don't know. All I know is, for some reason, I don't have any emotional strength, I'm not confident (Leo rising is a joke in my case, maybe I appear normal and confident, but I'm really far too sensitive), and I am way too easily offended and hurt.
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Leo is a very sensitive sign, especially sensitive to what others seem to think of her. The outgoing Leo stereotype is a personality that depends on being admired by others and gets that admiration. But not all Leo people get that admiration, and not getting it, or not perceiving it, tends to result in timidity. It isn't always even a need for adoring crowds. It can just as easily be a need to be quietly appreciated by one person.

Leo is like a cat. Cats are very sensitive creatures, usually need some stroking, and vary a lot in their approach to people. Some cats will approach anyone and demand to be petted. Others are very shy. But even shy cats usually want one or two particular people to pay attention to them.

Pisces13 said:
It honestly doesn't take much to offend me and make me feel belittled. On the one hand it hurts my pride and a part of me wants to take revenge and put the person back in their place and really, really hurt them emotionally :devil:...but also, it makes me feel anxious and nervous. Then I end up feeling mad at myself for not being confident and strong or having any ability to be own soldier.

I wish I could be cold, emotionless, and mean. -_-

But I'm always this weak, easily wounded, fearful baby with an overly fragile ego.
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That sounds like a perfect description of Pisces sun with Leo rising. Sun and Leo both represent ego and its need for development. Pisces is so profoundly sensitive, especially to the responses of others, that it sometimes shuts down completely. Pisces sun with a colder and tougher rising sign--Capricorn or Aquarius, for instance--probably would retreat and deny its sensitivity. Leo rising doesn't allow for that, because Leo is so attuned to the approval of others and so sensitive in its own way.

Ego growth is important for everyone, but when Leo is a key player, its importance is magnified. Sun in Pisces underscores a need for emotional growth, for having your ego nurtured in a way that respects your sensitivity. Pisces is also about the development and dissolution of consciousness. Therapy and meditation are both examples of ways that might be achieved.

Just because weak, easily wounded, fearful baby with an overly fragile ego describes you now, doesn't mean it always will. That's one way for those sign placements to manifest, but their manifestations can change through growth and healing. You'll always have the messages of Pisces and Leo as key parts of you, and key parts of what you need in order to grow and develop and live happily. The state you're in was probably created by your sensitive personality getting run over roughshod. Nurturing it instead would change how those signs play out for you.
 
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Kannon

Kannon

Well-known member
Pisces13,

There is a mate for everyone who wants one. The desire to love and be loved is the strongest force in the universe. -- Whether for a good or bad result.

The main factors in getting to the result of a happy relationship are understanding ourselves well enough, compatibility, and good timing.

Yes, you are entering a window of opportunity soon in which things can change for you socially, but probably not in a way that conforms with pre-existing expectations. Loosen those up now as much as you can. Uranus is now 19ARI30, very closely conjunct your natal Venus, and Jupiter in Leo is rapidly approaching its trine to natal Venus. Further, Pluto will be getting closer to a square with natal Venus, ensuring things can further develop socially after an initial shake-up period initiated by Uranus.

However, I advise that you NOT make commitments or plans during this period of the next few years. Pluto will transit parallel natal Moon, and you will want any relationship to survive the tests of all the implications of modern people with strong desires and expectations first.

You have Venus [14N37] contra-parallel Saturn [14S19]. Venus-Saturn stressful aspects emphasize deepening of values and slower development over time. Expect things to go better relationally after your Saturn return (2022) and to treat the time leading up to it, as well as that transit period itself, as learning experience that will serve you to be better prepared for marriage. This longer preparation time will serve you well in today's modern and rapidly changing social environment. Most people today are not ready for marriage in their mid-20s.

You have the Moon parallel Uranus & Neptune at 21-22 degrees south. This shows me that your personal and domestic needs are more complex than the norm and your sensitivities are great, and expansive with the Moon in Sagittarius. Contrary to what you previously stated here, you are not sensitive because you are alone. Your sensitivity is innate.

This leads me to what you brought up here ...

I'm sensitive when it comes to children--simply because they're sweet and innocent, if I see an ill child, abused elder person, a handicapped individual, war victim, elderly mother in a poor country caring for her adult mentally disabled son all by herself, etc. I'm thoroughly hurt and it kills me.
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... which is that absorbing the hurt, pain, and suffering of others due to your Piscean nature can add to the feelings you have about your own life. Pain and suffering often slowly accumulate in a kind of burden of sadness or toxic emotions, many of which are not yours to begin with. We have to let others own their own experience and their own feelings. Taking them on doesn't relieve them of it or heal them. I'm just mentioning this so that you understand these types of Moon sensitivity indicators and Pisces factors very predictably bring up these issues of learning boundaries for pragmatic reasons of being effective in your own life. Consider it the difference between empathy and compassion. Compassion is something you carry with you that allows you to remain centered in love. Empathy takes on others' stuff through empathizing with them on an emotional level. This is an example of the type of thing you'll need to learn before being prepared for a marriage relationship in today's world if you want it to be as happy and successful as I know you would like.

What I said about boundaries also applies to the feeling of being absorbed into undesirable social environments, or the fear of becoming like those around you that you do not admire or whose values don't match yours. Such boundaries are psychic/psychological, not about avoidance or control measures. They can be learned by feel and exercised through visualization.

These factors I've mentioned above (Moon, Sag, Pisces) are also factors which seem to make it more challenging for persons to understand the role and importance of real compatibility in intimate relationships. That is unavoidable and I hope you consider it part of your learning process.

Regarding 'karma', Osameanor is right. Karma is not implacable. It is not fate put upon you without your say-so or ability to learn, change, grow and move beyond any particular lessons it held for you.

Your summary of your inner response to life ...
Being alone my whole life has just made me so scared and insecure. But maybe if I actually go out and do something, my mood will change. My problem is, due to the fact that I feel alone/abandoned I'm sensitive to even the slightest remark. I get nervous that if I were working and my boss snapped at me or someone did, I'd instantly feel incompetent and alone again.
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... pretty much convinces me you are not Leo rising. Charts can have problems, even those cast by a specific recorded birth time. You can read more on that at my site if you choose, but your self-descriptions match Cancer rising for more than Leo, and it is not uncommon for a chart to need adjustment back a sign. This changes all the layout and any and all interpretation that may've been offered here or elsewhere that was house-specific. You'll notice up to now I did not mention houses at all, as I deal in whole sky astrology in which the north/south positions (declinations) more specifically pinpoint where a planet is and its aspects (parallels, contra-parallels).

You're better off really learning from your birth chart first, then dealing in other areas of astrology such as relocation, if they are still needed.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Pisces13 said:
Well that's during my worse moods. I take a lot of pride in my appearance (I'm not a shallow airhead, I just like to look nice and dress well) and I do like being noticed, I do wish I could be the center of attention (but I'm not a mean girl!) and be noticed and "admired" and definitely respected. When making small talk I am very "sunny" and sociable. I like all the typical Leo things. I do desire success (partially because I like to feel accomplished and partially because I like how it makes me look). So there are definitely times I feel Leonian.
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That sounds very much like Leo rising to me. And your inner experience sounds like a sensitive Leo+Pisces response to life.

In fact, it's similar to my inner responses, especially when I was younger. I was the kind of child who felt like I'd committed a major transgression if the teacher said be quiet. Even now, I sometimes get awful visceral responses if someone says no to something I really want, or snaps at me on a discussion board. A month or two ago, someone sent me a putdown private message, and it made me feel horribly violated. (They're on my ignore list now.)

And I'm a Leo sun. Eighth house sun, too, and Sag moon... we've got that in common! My moon is conjunct Neptune; I understand that brings some extra sensitivity. I also have Capricorn rising. Perhaps that dials back some of the sensitivity, but I'm still a very sensitive person. It certainly gives me cautiousness and practicality, perhaps a certain toughness, too. I've certainly had lots of people perceive me as tough and independent.
 
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graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
I have Pluto opposite ascendant, and what's more it's opposite Mars. With Mars in Taurus, even, it just makes people even more terrified when Taurus decides he's had enough and lil placid ol me has so much force behind them.

But squares, I think, are a bit different. Opposites kind of seem more like sparring, while squares I think are kind of meaner, more life-and-death. I am wondering if you come off less as resting b****face and maybe more fearful and nervous. The sort of people you keep describing in your posts, you keep idealizing them so much, but honestly much of the time they are the same type of people who are hiding themselves from the uncomfortable parts of their world and their surroundings, so someone who reminds them of that will be shoved off and ignored.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Pisces13 said:
Ah, we have something else in common too lol. My saturn opposes my ascendent, so I think that may add some capricorn traits? Or at least makes me appear "tough and independent" even when I'm not.
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Leo also has tough and independent aspects to it. Think cat. Cats are very independent, are they not?

Pisces13 said:
What's more is I have pluto squaring or opposing my ascendent, so that's also no good, lol. I wonder how I actually come off?
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Squaring, and there's a discussion here about Pluto square AC. The Pluto square part starts halfway down the second page. The OP didn't know her ascendant when she started the thread; the later posts were after she'd found out and mentioned the Pluto square somewhere else... and it answered the question in the thread title!

Pisces13 said:
I think venus makes a soft aspect to my ascendent as well, but my venus is in Aries. So that's probably no better.
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Venus trines your ascendant, if you take a 5 degree orb into account (astrologers vary on how wide an orb is too wide). Anything trine works together. What satisfies your Venus satisfies your ascendant, and vice versa.

I didn't see it, at least not consciously, when making those posts about Venus in Aries showing how you could draw people in, but actually, the trine with your ascendant underscores that point. Your ascendant's purpose is to draw people to you. Venus's purpose is to have emotionally meaningful interactions with others--romance, friendship, enjoyable conversation, everything on that continuum.

Aries indicates a need to be challenged, and ninth house indicates a need for new experiences, as we've discussed before. If you do what your Venus wants--seek out challenging new experiences--that will work in tandem with what your ascendant wants and draw people to you who help you have those experiences, and who fulfill Venus's purpose of meaningful interactions and intimacy.
 
JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
I have Pluto opposite ascendant, and what's more it's opposite Mars.
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Regarding pluto,
the definition of the word 'planet' is why
PLUTO IS NO LONGER A PLANET http://www.universetoday.com/13573/w...nger-a-planet/

graay ghost said:
With Mars in Taurus, even, it just makes people even more terrified when Taurus decides he's had enough
and lil placid ol me has so much force behind them.
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the implication is that people are "terrified of you"
....so that explains your ghostly avatar persona

graay ghost said:
But squares, I think, are a bit different.
Opposites kind of seem more like sparring, while squares I think are kind of meaner, more life-and-death. I am wondering if you come off less as resting b****face and maybe more fearful and nervous.
The sort of people you keep describing in your posts, you keep idealizing them so much, but honestly much of the time they are the same type of people who are hiding themselves from the uncomfortable parts of their world and their surroundings, so someone who reminds them of that will be shoved off and ignored.
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oppositions and squares are definitely very different :smile:
as explained by Nicholas Campion AN INTRODUCTION TO ASPECTS
AND CHART SHAPING IN ASTROLOGY http://www.skyscript.co.uk/aspects2.html
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Nightfall said:
Same problem here for years and cant understand what planet or sign do the bad work.:sad:
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Nightfall, you're asking the wrong question. Birth charts are much better at showing how you can solve your inner problems than at showing what causes them in the first place. If you asked what your chart showed that could help you make friends and become happier, you could get better answers.

If you've read through this thread, you'll see how Pisces13 has been accepting and integrating people's advice on using her astrological indicators to bring change, even though she started with an "It's my fate" mindset. What stops you from doing the same in your own threads?
 
JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
Nightfall said:
Same problem here for years and cant understand what planet or sign do the bad work.:sad:
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The natal chart is read as a complete whole ~ otherwise we get a skewed picture :smile:
so you're right, it is important to understand the way each planet has a different conditon
dependent on the sign location of the planet
HOWEVER
next we also need to consider the house location of each planet
as well as the ASPECTS between the natal planets
and then view the chart as a complete whole
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Pisces13 said:
Do you have any idea how much I'd love to get out of KY? I'd love to get out of here. My mom and sister in law are constantly putting a damper on those plans. I'd love to go to graduate out of state, maybe I'm being impulsive and Leonian/Arian right now. But she makes good points and it irritates me. She said, "you can go that far so soon. After grad school go where you want but you can't now because you said you can't live on campus in dorms...where would you live and how would you pay your bills?"

She's absolutely right. I can't just go there on a whim...I won't be able to live in a dorm...so where will I get an apartment? In a new state...that I JUST moved...how can you get an apartment and a job at the same time within a few days or whatever? AND go to school all at once. When will I have time to study? Suppose I go to law school (firstly to get a good job you need to go to a good grad school...that's not gonna be in ky) how will I have time to read and study? Law school, especially the first year, is a lot of work.

It's so much to think about and a lot of pressure. I wish I could win the lottery :p half my problems would be solved. But a place, go to school, give to charity, pay for some trips every now and then. Ah.
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And what happened to your decision to look into jobs, like we talked about a few posts back?

You're not going to grad school tomorrow. You haven't even started applying yet. It sounds like you haven't even decided which field of study to go to grad school in. You have lots of time to make smaller steps first. And since when does anyone go to graduate school anywhere on a whim? It takes lots of time and effort to apply to graduate school in the first place: exams, sending out applications, etc. By the time you've done all that, you've really thought things through.

You might not even have to go to grad school. If you want to be a lawyer, sure, that requires law school. If you decide on psychology, whether you should go to grad school or not depends on what you want to do with it. If you want to be, say, a clinical psychologist or a teacher, that requires graduate school, but there are lots of other human service careers where a background in psychology is useful but graduate school not required.

If you do go to graduate school, lots of people don't go straight in out of college. You could work for a while first. You could go somewhere else and work. Get experience living on your own, try out a new place, and save some money. If you can save up enough, you can get through graduate school without working during the semester. Not only that, many graduate programs include work experience opportunities that pay.

We also talked about how student services could help you find housing, even if it's not on campus. The expense wouldn't necessarily be greater than on campus housing, either. If you lived on campus, you would have to pay dorm fees and dining hall fees, which would be in addition to tuition and books and other fees, and wouldn't be covered by financial aid. If you live off campus, those fees don't apply. You have to pay your living expenses, but depending on what those costs are in your area and how many people are splitting them, it doesn't necessarily add up to more than the cost of living on campus.
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
Pisces13 said:
I don't think I'm idolizing the mature, responsible but adventurous types so much as I am one and would like to be around people with whom I'm compatible. And ignoring people who aren't anything like you (maybe not to an extreme and judgemental extent, that's mean) isn't anything bad or uncommon, it's preference.
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Idealizing is not the same as idolizing, and discomfort is not the same as "not anything like you." In fact, if something is not anything like you, there's a good possibility that it won't bother you. When people are confronted with parts of themselves that they don't like is when they truly start to squirm.

You keep talking about these people you want to be with, yet in all these descriptions you also talk about how you've never really had any sort of relationship with these people. There are a lot of people who can look mature and responsible on the outside. However, unless you've ever been thoroughly involved with them, you have no idea what they're actually like. All people have their darkness, their shadows. It's just that some people wear theirs on the outside and others wear them on the inside.

Reading this whole thread, I'm just wondering if you'll be in for a rude awakening when you actually do manage to insinuate yourself among people you think you're like. That you will find someone who seems like your ideal man, but instead he turns out to be deeply disappointing. I don't know.

Anyway, Osamenor is completely right about off-campus housing. Most large colleges have off-campus housing. If you were a good enough student you might be able to get a TA position to help pay your bills. There might even be scholarships, though it's my understanding that those drop off sharply once you get to the graduate level. I mean, I managed to go to school all the way across the ocean and live in off-campus housing... going cross-country should be a bit easier than that.
 
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JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
Squaring, and there's a discussion here about Pluto square AC. The Pluto square part starts halfway down the second page. The OP didn't know her ascendant when she started the thread; the later posts were after she'd found out and mentioned the Pluto square somewhere else... and it answered the question in the thread title!
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Interestingly Pluto is no longer a planet
discussion
IS PLUTO AN ASTROLOGICAL PLANET http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80531 :smile:
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Pisces13 said:
I'd love to go to graduate out of state, maybe I'm being impulsive and Leonian/Arian right now. But she makes good points and it irritates me. She said, "you can go that far so soon. After grad school go where you want but you can't now because you said you can't live on campus in dorms...where would you live and how would you pay your bills?"
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I've been chewing on this, too, because a serious reality check is in order. If you go to graduate school in Kentucky, where will you live?

Unless the school you go to is within commuting distance of your current home, you can't live at home. So even in state, you'd still have to find housing and pay living expenses. And if the town you live in is as small and remote and hick as you're claiming, there can't possibly be more than one graduate school within commuting distance, if there are any at all.

Your mom may be trying to control you, keep you at home, prevent you from changing. She also, apparently, doesn't know how graduate school works in this country. It's not realistic, ever, to apply to just one graduate school, and the location of the graduate school is one of the last things you take into consideration. The top priorities are, what do you want to study? Which schools offer the best programs for that? What kind of job placement track record do their graduates have?

Then you apply, and you probably won't get into every school you apply to. For the schools that you do get into, the next consideration is cost and how much financial aid you can get. With all that to take into account, you have to start with a long list of schools in a long list of places to find one you can feasibly go to. It's advised to start with about 15-20 of them. There surely aren't that many graduate schools in Kentucky, let alone near your home!

Graduate schools are so spread out that to have any realistic chance of getting into a program that will help you in your career, you have to apply to multiple schools in multiple states. If you want to go to law school, that's especially true. Psychology gives you some more wiggle room, but those same considerations still apply. In order to go to graduate school, you have to be willing and able to relocate for it.

And when it comes to getting into graduate school in America, especially a professional program like law or psychology, life experience counts far more than your academic record. To stand the best possible chance of getting in, you have to have work experience relevant to your field. Even holding a job unrelated to the field you want to study, or traveling, or serving in the military, Peace Corps, or Americorps boosts your chances of getting into grad school. If all you've done in your life is live at home and go to school, your chances of being accepted are very low, even if you have top grades and test scores. No more than 10%-30% of applicants admitted to graduate school are starting right after college, and that includes applicants who've left home for college, held summer jobs, traveled, etc.
 
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