Help needed to determine purpose and where I need to be

Thank you, Virinchi, for redirecting me to the correct place to repost this. Birth info is in the attached chart, but is also at the bottom of this post.

Desperate for more information I paid for a full report from Rapiel Raaj of the KRS Channel on youtube. It is very indepth, however I am still unable to piece together much of the information it provides in a way that I can use.

I have studied the divisional charts but certain nuances must be escaping me completely. It seems as if I have great peripheral vision for others, while I am blind and cannot see what is directly in front of me what I must do for myself. Does this makes sense? This creates a constant self-distrust with making decisions.

I know I am at a crossroad of some kind. There seem to be no options here as things are. Or is it that I do not see them?

A few weeks ago I thought I had some major things figure out, but not so. I am still where I was, undecided and confused.

If I understand what I have read in the attached chart, it would seem I chose to not to work for money in this life and to help people, possibly children with medical concerns or who have been abused or hurt, through writing or other communication?

However I have no education in either area. No one has reason to take anything I say seriously. I lack math skills to become a medical professional, as in zero math skills. I can learn those, but recently I was told it would take two years of tutoring I cannot afford to bring me up to college level. I can do this, but I am 54 years old. Getting a medical degree would put me at 60 so this is not a sensible endeavor. The only thing I have ever been very good at was dancing which is far beyond my physical condition now.

What can I do to help people as I am with what I have? Or am I already doing this and do not realize it? What questions can I ask myself to figure this out?

In case anyone is interested, I will attach the chart provided by Rapiel Raaj. Also attached is a cartography map since I can't figure out where on earth I belong. Or am I to continue moving, moving, moving?

Sincere thanks and gratitude to all who help me figure out how to connect these dots and make sense of those things I struggle with.

Sex : Female
Date of birth : November 24,1959
Day of birth : Tuesday
Time of birth : 01:25:00 hrs
Ishtkaal : 46:22:47 ghatis
Place of birth : Rantoul (city) Illinois (state)
Country : USA
Latitude : 40N18'30
Longitude : 88W09'21
Time zone : 06:00:00 hrs
War/daylight Corr. : 00:00:00 hrs
GMT at birth : 07:25:00 hrs
LMT Corr. : 00:07:22 hrs
Local Mean Time : 01:32:23 hrs
Sidereal Time : 05:42:24 hrs


~Catherine

Ms Catherine Colvin,


moon highest planetary deg leo 12th flair-instincts of the personality, individualistic, high self-pride, sensitive,
aptitude for psychology,

moon lord 11th over the 12th gains through foreign lands probably.
venus 9th lord for distant travels conj rahu for foreignness over virgo asc, again suggestive of luck
through foreign travels and arts/acting skills etc probably.

venus virgo debilated, debilation cancelled as lord mer and jup lord of it's elevation placed 4th quadrant from moon,
slower pace of growth/evolution same time.

rahu virgo seeking intellectualism. ketu pisces 7th sensitive yet indifferent in interpersonal relationships probably,
tending to spirituality/inner attitude.

venus-rahu asc dazzling personality, max points in the sarvashtakavarga too, suggestive of high level of success in life,
may be utilising the power of one's own personality and talents, while may need to avoid being self-centred in approach
which could be overcome debilation of venus cancelled.


jupiter scorpio 3rd 2nd highest planetary degrees, factor for vocation;

sun-mercury-mars-jupiter scorpio 3rd could have occult interests and research aptitude,
ability for impressive depth counseling-advisory role. mercury retro could be better at written communications,
may be online counseling services-astrological services etc. mer lord 10th for career as well as asc lord
elevated own virgo in navamsa-dasamsa.

jupiter own sag in navamsa/dasamsa. now heading towards jupiter mahadasa come 2015.

jupiter natal scorpio trining making elevated aspect over cancer 11th for gains-friendships,
trining own pisces 7th for career support and relationship.

jup unfriendly with asc virgo, hence keep expectations moderate, could involve an element of stress
in the process. come july jup transit elevated cancer 11th.

rahu moving to natal rahu virgo asc seeking intellectualism.

saturn come christmas moving to scorpio 3rd promoting occult and research aptitude
while initiatives/communications/sibling relationships under stress, over enemy sign sq moon.

sarvasthakavarga higher points over 10/11 houses focusing on career/karma/recognition and gains,
and through group work, group counseling perhaps.

jupiter 4th lord negating to the 3rd, negating mother/motherland.


venus in bhava chart/house chart over libra 2nd, may be impressive speech/singing abilities,
and interpersonal skills. artistic tastes/dancing. gains/earnings thereby;
venus lord 9th for luck, higher learnings, over 2nd for family-finances-speech-education in bhava chart.

sat sag 4th philosophical, love of law-justice. aspects own acq 6th protective of health-employment prospects.
sat 6th lord over 4th impacting domestic comforts/property matters/mother's health etc.

hope generic observations help, find relevant and useful enough.
could share feedbacks!

wishing well,


kshantaram

Thank you so very much, Kshantaram, for your help. Your observations clearly apply to my questions and circumstances. I will study for more understanding. Is there a particular source you favor to look for remedies to my shortcomings and weaknesses?

~Catherine

kshantaram, after attempting to message you, an error was returned saying you do not accept messages. If you are not opposed, please allow me to ask you a private question?

~Catherine

no wonder you are interested in medical field but its too late.
after 11 months, your own health will not allow you to dedicate that much time to study to get a degree.

you already took the best possible decision at this stage : 'I chose to not to work for money in this life and to help people, possibly children with medical concerns or who have been abused or hurt, through writing or other communication'

You can even volunteer to work at a hospital/asylum

HappyHeretic42 said:

Thank you so very much, Kshantaram, for your help. Your observations clearly apply to my questions and circumstances. I will study for more understanding.

Is there a particular source you favor to look for remedies to my shortcomings and weaknesses?

~Catherine

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appreciate prompt ack.

could share specific feedbacks in agreement/disagreement.

venus lord 2/9 for finances-luck debilated over vrigo asc conjunct rahu over friendly virgo, potential yoga/conj for prosperity, artistic tastes, etc. debilated venus over asc could be impacting health, and may perhaps need zinc supplements. could suggest kidney issues, eczema, eye troubles, etc perhaps. while pace of growth in life could be slow/debilation cancelled.

venus could be strengthened for luck and prosperity and health wearing 0.25 carat diamond, alongwith gem for rahu the node/brownish stone-hessonite 2.25carats, over a platinum ring, wearing on the middle finger on a friday.

could offer prayers fridays to Mother Goddess and seek blessings, offering white flowers, late evenings, lighting some camphor too, at the alter at home.

for 6th lord saturn distracting the 4th house for domestic comforts/happiness, could observe fast saturday evenings, lighting sesame oil lamp at the alter.

hope find the remedies relevant and helpful.

wishing enhanced luck,


kshantaram
OM SHRISAIGANESHAYA NAMAHA

moon highest planetary deg leo 12th flair-instincts of the personality, individualistic, high self-pride, sensitive,
aptitude for psychology,

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All of these apply, though until recently I was unaware of an aptitude for psychology. The college I plan to attend this fall has Social Work programs for Chemical Dependency and Child Development. Each program includes psychology, counseling, writing and public speaking. The only alternative to those will be a Fine Arts program. With these three opportunities, I have been uncertain what to choose.

moon lord 11th over the 12th gains through foreign lands probably.
venus 9th lord for distant travels conj rahu for foreignness over virgo asc, again suggestive of luck through foreign travels and arts/acting skills etc probably.

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I have long been drawn to relocate to Africa, where I thought I might help children in need. My ascendant trines sun at that location (I think). I was seeking confirmation of where I can best apply skills and experience. I used to be a good ballroom dancer and instructor, but am no longer able to participate in that way for physical reason. So it has become important to figure out what to do and where before it is too late to be of use in this world :.)

venus virgo debilated, debilation cancelled as lord mer and jup lord of it's elevation placed 4th quadrant from moon, slower pace of growth/evolution same time.

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Despite being a quick learner in most endeavors, I have always been a late bloomer. Someone for whom things come slowly to. I also have delayed understandings. When I feel something is eminent, too often I cannot figure out what it is until opportunity has passed. I miss many opportunities because I don't recognize them. I am very slow in this way. A lot of slowness in my life. I am impatient by nature, and have had to force myself to slow down a great deal.

rahu virgo seeking intellectualism. ketu pisces 7th sensitive yet indifferent in interpersonal relationships probably, tending to spirituality/inner attitude.

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This one was painful, and very true. I intellectualize emotions to the point of removing feeling. I am by nature very sensitive, but what I feel becomes distilled through analyzing too much. My sons were terribly affected by both the slowness with which understandings come to me, and by my inability to let emotions be emotions instead of rationalizations.

venus-rahu asc dazzling personality, max points in the sarvashtakavarga too, suggestive of high level of success in life, may be utilising the power of one's own personality and talents, while may need to avoid being self-centred in approach which could be overcome debilation of venus cancelled.

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I have had very little success in life :.) However it has often been said I have a 'great personality', endless optimism, an appealing cheerfulness. This is what other people say. What they don't know is it is mostly a facade to hide other things they would not want to know. Nonetheless, I am usually able to cheer up most people easily and make them feel good about themselves. Perhaps that is the success, which I used wrongly compare to the standards other people measure success by? I learned a long time ago that anything I do for myself does not go well. Almost everything I do for others does go well.

jupiter scorpio 3rd 2nd highest planetary degrees, factor for vocation;

sun-mercury-mars-jupiter scorpio 3rd could have occult interests and research aptitude, ability for impressive depth counseling-advisory role. mercury retro could be better at written communications, may be online counseling services-astrological services etc. mer lord 10th for career as well as asc lord elevated own virgo in navamsa-dasamsa.

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I research a great deal. Practically everything. Often accused of "paralysis by analysis". Though I am naturally curious and tend to delve deeply into interests, researching people, places and things became a protection of sorts from people who would hurt me or my sons. I have always been interested in astrology and metaphysics, but did not pursue either because I tend to grasp concepts more than details. There is much detail that overwhelms my thinking in metaphysics though I study this broadly for personal interest. I have often helped others who ended up where I have been and sometimes called their 'personal therapist'. This is a result of much early abuse that continued through early 30s, somewhat through a 2nd marriage and much homelessness.

jupiter own sag in navamsa/dasamsa. now heading towards jupiter mahadasa come 2015.

jupiter natal scorpio trining making elevated aspect over cancer 11th for gains-friendships, trining own pisces 7th for career support and relationship.

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These past few months it has become increasingly important to figure out a career direction. Perhaps this influence is why.

jup unfriendly with asc virgo, hence keep expectations moderate, could involve an element of stress in the process. come july jup transit elevated cancer 11th.

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Western astrology also advises the same. Because I could not obtain sufficient insight, I began studying vedic astrology hoping for more guidance.

rahu moving to natal rahu virgo asc seeking intellectualism.

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I have always been oriented in this way. I read almost constantly. Always learning. When I can stay in a community long enough I usually indulge in activism of some kind, usually against status quo politics and anti-violence. Perhaps this influence means something different, but that is the connection I feel when reading this statement.

saturn come christmas moving to scorpio 3rd promoting occult and research aptitude while initiatives/communications/sibling relationships under stress, over enemy sign sq moon.

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I plan to continue learning more about metaphysics. I have already created a wiki project FifthWorldPulse.wikispaces.com as a place for information contribution b those who also want to be the change we wish to see in the world. My little sister died a few years ago. My brother and I do not get along, but he has severe mental health issues so when we do talk I can only listen. If I speak about anything with him, he will start a fight :.) It is his way. I let it go. It is what it is. He was terribly hurt when very young and was not as fortunate as I was in overcoming those challenges.

sarvasthakavarga higher points over 10/11 houses focusing on career/karma/recognition and gains, and through group work, group counseling perhaps.

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I hope so. This is what I feel.

jupiter 4th lord negating to the 3rd, negating mother/motherland.

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I have never felt comfortable more than briefly, anywhere I have lived. I do not feel I belong where I am. I have lived in most of the lower United States and now several northern states. Never at home here in the U.S. so this describes me well. I have spent much of the last several years homeless and feeling it will always be this way though that is unlikely. I feel a need to belong somewhere not here.

venus in bhava chart/house chart over libra 2nd, may be impressive speech/singing abilities, and interpersonal skills. artistic tastes/dancing. gains/earnings thereby; venus lord 9th for luck, higher learnings, over 2nd for family-finances-speech-education in bhava chart.

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My vocal cords were damaged as a child, so my voice is very soft and breaks easily. I lose my voice very easily if I talk much. But everyone else in my family sings and plays at least one instrument beautifully. I feel music, but I cannot voice it :.) Dancing is a different matter. I was an excellent dancer and instructor and at one time I did earn a very good living. I miss it much :.)

sat sag 4th philosophical, love of law-justice. aspects own acq 6th protective of health-employment prospects.

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I am a veteran of the USAF who worked with the Security Police. I was also a legal secretary. Living with governance that work for everyone is very appealing. I am not the anarchist type :.) I also worked as a medical secretary and in a laboratory. In 2006 I was diagnosed with cancer, multiple sclerosis and a thyroid condition. After studying Ayurvedic, African, Chinese and Native American medicine, most of my symptoms disappeared after several months. I have helped others learn to heal themselves since that time, although I am now on disability with much time. Possibly why I also feel the need to do something constructive?

sat 6th lord over 4th impacting domestic comforts/property matters/mother's health etc.

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Yes *lol* I cannot own anything. I have never had a home nor any assets of value. When money has been given to me, it was taken by the government or an ex-husband. Even the only car I ever owned was run over by a semi-truck while waiting for a light to change in an intersection. It is as if I was not meant to own anything. I have learned not to care about material things because anything I have ever had of any value has been stolen or destroyed by someone (especially mother and first ex-husband). Mother... there's a long story. The short version is she lost her mind on drugs and alcoholism. Was extraordinarily violent. Did terrible things to all of us. Was generally the type of person most people avoid associating with. She was beautiful, but... dangerous. I lost contact with her almost 25 years ago. She was so terrible I never allowed my sons to meet her.

I am now responding to your second post.

Continued response:

venus lord 2/9 for finances-luck debilated over vrigo asc conjunct rahu over friendly virgo, potential yoga/conj for prosperity, artistic tastes, etc. debilated venus over asc could be impacting health, and may perhaps need zinc supplements. could suggest kidney issues, eczema, eye troubles, etc perhaps. while pace of growth in life could be slow/debilation cancelled.

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Physically I am unable to accommodate most yoga movements. For activity I have been reduced to walking and gentle stretching. I have lost much bone to demineralization and early osteoporosis. For this reason, soon I will have 18 teeth removed to make room for dentures. It is that much bone loss. My bones are very brittle and weak, considering my age. I have be very careful with everything, even walking. I cannot fall or trip badly because something will break. For this condition I take a number of supplements which have helped a great deal. There will be no reversal, but it the progress has slowed significantly. Zinc, yes. And mostly vegetarian with eggs and some home made dairy such as kefir. I did have serious skin problems for awhile, most of which have cleared. I am far sighted and it is getting worse. I do get kidney infections easily if I forget to drink enough water. After the initial significant recovery in 2007 from the 2006 diagnoses, healing slowed a great deal and it is ongoing. I also use turmeric, lemon, ginger, garlic, onion, vinegar, etc., all natural remedies. No chemicals here. I even buy reverse osmosis water and mix it myself to avoid chemicals in tap water.

venus could be strengthened for luck and prosperity and health wearing 0.25 carat diamond, alongwith gem for rahu the node/brownish stone-hessonite 2.25carats, over a platinum ring, wearing on the middle finger on a friday.

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I do not own diamonds or platinum and it is unlikely I will ever be able to afford those. But I actually have cinnamon stone :.) I collect rocks and someone who knew that gave me a bagful of semi-precious stones for healing some time ago. I will use it as directed.

could offer prayers fridays to Mother Goddess and seek blessings, offering white flowers, late evenings, lighting some camphor too, at the alter at home.

Click to expand...

I do burn sage (camphor related) and have camphor. I will find white flowers and use them as directed.

for 6th lord saturn distracting the 4th house for domestic comforts/happiness, could observe fast saturday evenings, lighting sesame oil lamp at the alter.

Click to expand...

I have sesame oil and will do this.

hope find the remedies relevant and helpful.

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Yes indeed. I am certain they will benefit. Thank you very much for your time and sharing your skills to help. Except one other member, the rest have contacted me privately for payment without first offering help. That is why I wanted to speak with you in private. I respect your privacy and choice, but please message me if you change your mind.

I do not know if you use software or if you work with charts manually, but it seems obvious to me that you looked at different things, or perhaps chose different things to share, than others have. For that attention I am very grateful.

~Catherine

appreciate such candid painstaking elaborate enthusiastic meaningful feedbacks!!!

sorry to learn of your health condition, while looking forward to contribute further to life and society!!!

wishing all well and in your future endeavors,


kshantaram

ps : understand wanted to message me - messaging enabled!