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  #26  
Unread 09-29-2013, 11:51 AM
Krewster Krewster is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

As a.m., "sullen" and "depressed" for a long time sound very reflective of Moon 90 the midpoint of a loose Mars/Nept.

You mentioned shouldering more than average caregiver burdens and, to the extent the Moon gives care, I'd say it is your undoing (bec of the 90 to Nept and the undecile triangle among Moon-Pluto-Uran) and so you'd benefit in future from avoiding such assignments.

Instead, stick with your strongpoints (i.e., that 36-72-36 triangle among Ven/Sat-Sun/Merc-Mars) suggesting you have a highly developed aesthetic sense which could be put to use.

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  #27  
Unread 09-29-2013, 05:46 PM
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JUPITERASC JUPITERASC is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by josephhall736 View Post
yes meaning ive had trouble focusing and been depressed and sullen since teenage years .that was background information.i am 32 now.everything i say is true.
Some good advice from Ajahn Brahm at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aa1bG3Aj4Q
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  #28  
Unread 09-29-2013, 06:55 PM
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waybread waybread is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

Joseph, I am very sorry to learn about your suffering. The others have given you good advice-- except for avoiding psychologists. They can be extremely helpful. I know. I was lucky to find one once during a rough patch in my life, when I didn't know why I was on the planet and the center just wasn't holding.

Let's start with the assumption that there is nothing objectively wrong with you; but that you do feel deeply unhappy and wish that to stop. People come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and with different life experiences; and we don't know now why unhappiness is in your portion, but it may be there for a reason that you will be able to understand later in life.

I think with Neptune-Mars square moon, one of your life challenges is in addressing feelings of depression. With the huge battery of tests you've described, probably someone has said that you don't have it, but a second opinion wouldn't hurt.

At the point in my life when I felt so miserable I could scarcely breathe, and I had to get through the week between psychologist visits, I found that taking small steps was helpful. Perhaps see if they-- or something comparable more in keeping with your life-- is helpful to you, too. I realize that "baby steps" may sound like so much superficial sublimation, but I think the universe recognizes when we make our own efforts on our behalf, and subtly starts to realign itself.

1. Learn some astrology-- it doesn't have to be much; and then try to be helpful to other people. You've reached out here. You can find many posts by unhappy people-- sometimes they just want an acknowledgement, a virtual hand reaching out to them. Engage them in a sympathetic way. You can be a real blessing to them.

2. List a few things that seem to ground or center you in a positive way. This might be your favourite soft music (try J. S. Bach-- he was into moods long before jazz was invented) or spending time in a natural setting, no matter how small. Slowly let go of some of your pain as you place your consciousness on the sound or sights. If you have some plants, imagine yourself breathing with them. If you can get near a body of water, sit and watch the waves. Or try meditation, or a yoga class.

3. Read Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. It is widely available, including in public libraries.

4. Take long walks. If your neighbourhood isn't safe, find one that is. Human beings evolved walking out of doors! I used to be so busy during the day that I took my walks at night-- with the dog. For some depressed people, walking in sunlight is as effective as medication.

Your 5th house sun will benefit from outdoor recreation!

There is a lot of good in you. You sound like a gentle man who doesn't want to hurt a fly. This is a gift that you can convey to people in need. You've been there, and have developed compassion.
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  #29  
Unread 09-29-2013, 08:04 PM
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-0...-suggests.html
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  #30  
Unread 09-29-2013, 10:04 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

Waybread has given you a really good response.

I'm wondering what you think about that response. And I'm wondering what steps you have already taken to get out from under your concerns.
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  #31  
Unread 09-29-2013, 10:32 PM
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

My friend before you consider talking to a shrink watch this. It might change the way you look at "mental illness".



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhEZ7dkaTKo
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  #32  
Unread 09-30-2013, 01:21 AM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jose1980 View Post
My friend before you consider talking to a shrink watch this. It might change the way you look at "mental illness".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhEZ7dkaTKo
I'm sorry. I have spent a career in mental health services. This you-tube has nothing to do with going to see a counselor because you are depressed or stressed out. Its about the origins of and information about schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is a severe mental disorder that has absolutely nothing to do with what we are talking about here.

We were never suggesting that anyone here has schizophrenia, or any other kind of mental illness. Clearly the poster of this has no knowledge of this subject in even the smallest degree.
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  #33  
Unread 09-30-2013, 01:25 AM
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Jose1980 Jose1980 is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

Dr Mckenzie covers the orgins of PTSD , depression and everything else. Watch the rest of his videos.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zarathu View Post
I'm sorry. I have spent a career in mental health services. This you-tube has nothing to do with going to see a counselor because you are depressed or stressed out. Its about the origins of and information about schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is a severe mental disorder that has absolutely nothing to do with what we are talking about here.

We were never suggesting that anyone here has schizophrenia, or any other kind of mental illness. Clearly the poster of this has no knowledge of this subject in even the smallest degree.
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  #34  
Unread 09-30-2013, 01:27 AM
josephhall736 josephhall736 is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

i am seeing a therapist-have seen this one for around 7 months.seen a previous therapist for 2 years and missed an appointment in december and figured id take a break for awhile.i like both therapists i do honestly.i may go back to previous one eventually.initially prior to seeing the 1st therapist i went to the mental health place to get medicated and he told me to see therapist first and do therapy and then if i need meds to come back.shortly thereafter my medical doctor at the time gave me wellbutrin when i complained of lack of energy etc. and she put me on 150xl which was increased to 300xl around 6 months later then around thanksgiving time i called the mental health guy that gives the meds and had appointment set up and tried buspar for a few months with the wellbutrin and only got very very dizzy so i went off both.

i do take long walks almost everyday.i will miss a few days a year for whatever reason and then if its raining real bad or real bad snow but id say i take walks approximately 300 out of 365 days.the smallest walk i will take is roughly 3 miles total-i prefer a 6 mile walk-on occasion i do as much as 16 miles-when i do that one i have to walk faster then usual and takes me longer even with walking faster.the thing is i have done most of these same walks and its getting a bit old-thats why i like the longer ones.my 3 mile walk is an extremely safe walk-sometimes i tack a bit on too it and the only bad thing is the lighting can be a bit bad if walking at dark.

i used to mainly always walk at night and rarely during the day and usually had things to do daytime wise.granted walking is my favorite form of transportation and id choose it over all others handsdown.i love outdoor festivals and walking around.i do live in baltimore which isnt the safest of cities and at times there isnt much foot traffic in the evening.i dont know if i could live in the suburbs or country without anyplace to walk.i love seeing architecture that is inspiring and not cookie cutter soulless stuff that you see in most suburbs in the us.i love museums.michael jackson said that he would walk around alot and hope to find someone to talk to and thats exactly how i feel.i do say hi to people as i pass them by and ask how are you doing etc.sometimes i feel sad when walking that i dont ever meet anyone beyond greetings.i get discouraged and upset when verbally assualted when walking which has happened a few times.

my previous therapist told me to keep up my walking.my nutritionist told me not to walk too much as he thinks im too thin-i weigh 130 and am 5'6 and half-most ive weighed as an adult is like 135 and lowest like 108 and when on wellbutrin weighed 115.i have had eating issues at times.i have a twin sister that is a minute younger who lives 3 city blocks away and we rarely see each other.She has been married for a decade and her husband wont let her do anything without him so therefore only if i go over their house and sometimes on occasion go out or if they are fighting and she jumps the fence and comes here and then goes back yadda yadda.

i had very dysfunctional childhood.my mom had me sleep with dad and her with my sisters as my dad had drinking problem for years then after we moved to new house my mom said she didnt like hers and dads bedroom-that it gave her the creeps and she would sleep next too me as preteen and teen.Both my sisters married abusers.My older sister married a man who left his wife with 3 kids and one was a few days old when he left their state of minnesota to come here with my sister and my dad died the very next day-july9th 2000.my dad had to stop drinking for most part as he was sickened with rheumatoid arthritis and became disabled .My older sisters husband left her for another woman and my sister lives with roommates now in michigan as her husband moved them there after my niece turned a yr old as he was jealous that my mom and i spent alot of time with her.My mom wanted/wants to move to michigan and wants me to move there with her.I always told her no and that i hate it there as we have been there twice for visits.I dont drive and cant get around in the suburbs which is my nieces school district.I honestly feel bad about it and like a bad kid.

i guess you could say i know a little astrology and a little numerology.i love music,cinema,all the arts.art is alive too me ,speaks to me,encourages me.i love culture and people.

There are so many mean cruel vicious things that are said about me.I have had people say that i am a drug addict.Untrue.Even to go far as to say that i use needles.I loathe needles and act like a baby when having blood drawn.I have people swear that i am a prostitute.People have even told my sister that i was a prostitute.The reasoning i guess behind it is that i walk alot at night and in doing so go past parks and other meeting places for those seeking sex.My grandma fell and broke her hip and it was blamed on me.If my mom was here relatives said it wouldnt have happened.My mom dont like me to go anywhere really and she used to almost always invite herself along.I never went anywhere by myself until i was 17/18 as my parents were very controlling and over protective.A few times went for walk with both sisters as teenager and few times as preteen with older sister but mom didnt like it.My mom has a fear of people being hit by car/s dont ask me why.I have overheard her tell people on the phone she dont like me going places by myself(especially like when i go out of town alone)and that someone may hit me in the head with something or get hit by car or anything could happen.

i feel like people try to close me up into a box and dont want me to expand my horizons and try new things and places and that people dont want me venturing out of the neighborhood.my moms just wants me to stay nearby so she can check up on me.as long as i have a coat i dont care much if it rains however she hates rain and carries on if i go out if its raining or going to/may rain.she would keep my sister and i home from school in grade school if it rained.she walked us to school and home from school then for middle and high school my dad drove us.

we dont have many plants inside but we do have a few.alot of times i feel extra ill when its cold out and people are like (therapists and the like)that maybe its sad-seasonal affective disorder-(and im like dude i mainly have done my walks at night even in the summer/fall and dont get real sick till my vitamin d goes really really low)and then i feel somewhat better when it goes back to normal.

thanks to all of you that have tried to help assist me.
joseph
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  #35  
Unread 09-30-2013, 05:26 AM
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waybread waybread is offline
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Re: im desperate please help me i have no life.

Joseph, it sounds like you have a beautiful soul in there, struggling to get out; like the butterfly inside the chrysalis. And also like your early family life was dysfunctional. Sometimes family members have their own serious problems, but because they are unwilling to admit them and unable to address them, they tend to unload their unhappiness on vulnerable people who are in no position to resist, such as young children.

Your Virgo moon will be super-sensitive to people's criticisms; so hopefully you can understand that just because your feelings are naturally on the sensitive side of the scale, that doesn't mean that these people have anything objective to say about you.

If you found a therapist that you like, that sounds good and as though a return visit could be beneficial. Have you ever been in Al Anon? Not AA for alcoholics, but the one for family members of problem drinkers. I went to a local chapter during a rough patch in my life, and found it very helpful. While I couldn't get past about step 2 in the 12-step program, just finding a support group was a huge relief.

Your long walks and love of Baltimore sound very positive. I haven't been there for many years, but I remember a vibrant waterfront area.

So if we can cross off the walking on my suggested list, (not to drop it, just that you're already there) maybe try the Eckhart Tolle book. Or start on your wish list. You appear to have a rich imagination, so hopefully you are spending time each day on a creative project.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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