Re: Self Love in Astrology
I see alot of chart interpretations with the message that people should learn to give themselves self love. However, being social creatures, we are hard wired to receive love from others. It just isn't the same trying to love ourselves if we feel that no one else loves us. Our biology dictates that we receive love from others.
Its the same for self affirmation. It's very hard to affirm yourself and believe it when no one else thinks the same thing about you. I mean, look at all these anti shaming and body positivity movements, it's about trying to get others to affirm your looks. If you're 300 pounds, you can sit in the corner and think you're a beauty queen all you want, but if you're always getting feedback from others that says the opposite, you won't believe it. You'll believe it if others are giving you positive feedback. That's the way our brains are wired to work.
Of course we are wired to be in loving relationships. But needing affirmation from others is different than sharing love. When you do something from the basis of a deep emotional need rather than a conscious choice, you are often acting from weakness and ego rather than from love. The more one's actions are motivated by fear, shame, or desperation (extreme neediness) the less likely one will get a positive outcome in relationship. And it rarely satisfies the void that caused the neediness when you get it.
The terms "self-esteem" and "self -love" have often been misunderstood in our modern culture. There are people who seem to have a lot of "self-love" but are actually narcissists, and theirs is not a healthy "self-love." . People who have healthy "self-esteem", or if you want to call it "self-love", don't need affirmation and approval all the time. They don't need to prove anything to themselves or others. They may choose to prove something to the world or to themselves, but aren't shattered if they fail. They may be disappointed or sad if they are not getting the strokes and love they desire from others, but they don't sink into terrible depression or addiction or despair when they don't. They have resilience. They act mostly from a desire to get good things rather than to avoid the negative while respecting others rights along the way.
Human psychology is a deep subject and to understand it requires some intelligent analysis and study. I think you would benefit from some of this deeper study. If you want to be a really good astrologer which means being a counselor of human beings, it is wise to have a deep understanding of human psychology. Understanding the meaning of ego defense mechanisms is critical to this. Freud was the first to catalog these - some are denial, repression, sublimation, projection, rationalization, regression. Modern psychology continues to accept these concepts and has continued to contribute to their understanding.
Many people who are spiritual students have come to believe that like- energy attracts like in this "energetic universe." Thus acting from a place of negative self esteem (shame, feeling inadequate) will attract others who have the same underlying dysfunction. Then you have two people who have unhealed psychic wounds together, and they rarely can fulfill the others "neurotic" or unhealthy needs. Whereas if one has healthy self - love they are more likely to attract others who also have this. That's is a much better recipe for relationship success. I believe this and there is data to support it. In one of Robert Holden's books (sorry I don't recall which one) he cites a study that showed that people who were the happiest before they married, were also the happiest after and during their marriage. With maturity people often come to realize that happiness , or self-love" is an "inside job" and when they accept that, all of their relationships become happier. That doesn't mean they lose the human desire for friendship and sharing.
Of course there are lots of people on the internet sites trying to get liked because of their physical beauty. The physical is all you can see in that medium. Don't assume that what you see there is the totality of the culture.