Self Love

clip11

Well-known member
I see alot of chart interpretations with the message that people should learn to give themselves self love. However, being social creatures, we are hard wired to receive love from others. It just isn't the same trying to love ourselves if we feel that no one else loves us. Our biology dictates that we receive love from others.

Its the same for self affirmation. It's very hard to affirm yourself and believe it when no one else thinks the same thing about you. I mean, look at all these anti shaming and body positivity movements, it's about trying to get others to affirm your looks. If you're 300 pounds, you can sit in the corner and think you're a beauty queen all you want, but if you're always getting feedback from others that says the opposite, you won't believe it. You'll believe it if others are giving you positive feedback. That's the way our brains are wired to work.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Re: Self Love in Astrology

Self-love is difficult for people with horoscope placements that are hard on one's self-esteem. Examples would be Saturn or Chiron opposite or conjunct one's sun or moon.

Self-confidence comes more easily to people with sun trine or sextile moon, or Jupiter in a good aspect to one's sun or moon. &c

I think there is such a thing as the OK life, the good-enough life. Most people are not cut out to be beauty queens, or voted in as the sexiest man alive.

Not everybody is so oriented towards what other people think. They have things they love and enjoy, and just cannot straightjacket themselves in order to become more acceptable to other people.

Love comes in all different shapes and sizes. Maybe volunteer at an animal shelter, a school, or a seniors home (when covid permits.) Plan a long-haul hike, take up practicing a musical instrument, and do something supportive for people less fortunate than yourself. Do something nice for yourself.

Reciprocated love is basically a question of finding the right person, if synastry means anything. Some times it takes a while.

This song is for you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ7uXX9K7Sk&ab_channel=suedemiddleton
 

thelivingsky

Well-known member
Re: Self Love in Astrology

I see alot of chart interpretations with the message that people should learn to give themselves self love. However, being social creatures, we are hard wired to receive love from others. It just isn't the same trying to love ourselves if we feel that no one else loves us. Our biology dictates that we receive love from others.

Its the same for self affirmation. It's very hard to affirm yourself and believe it when no one else thinks the same thing about you. I mean, look at all these anti shaming and body positivity movements, it's about trying to get others to affirm your looks. If you're 300 pounds, you can sit in the corner and think you're a beauty queen all you want, but if you're always getting feedback from others that says the opposite, you won't believe it. You'll believe it if others are giving you positive feedback. That's the way our brains are wired to work.




Of course we are wired to be in loving relationships. But needing affirmation from others is different than sharing love. When you do something from the basis of a deep emotional need rather than a conscious choice, you are often acting from weakness and ego rather than from love. The more one's actions are motivated by fear, shame, or desperation (extreme neediness) the less likely one will get a positive outcome in relationship. And it rarely satisfies the void that caused the neediness when you get it.



The terms "self-esteem" and "self -love" have often been misunderstood in our modern culture. There are people who seem to have a lot of "self-love" but are actually narcissists, and theirs is not a healthy "self-love." . People who have healthy "self-esteem", or if you want to call it "self-love", don't need affirmation and approval all the time. They don't need to prove anything to themselves or others. They may choose to prove something to the world or to themselves, but aren't shattered if they fail. They may be disappointed or sad if they are not getting the strokes and love they desire from others, but they don't sink into terrible depression or addiction or despair when they don't. They have resilience. They act mostly from a desire to get good things rather than to avoid the negative while respecting others rights along the way.



Human psychology is a deep subject and to understand it requires some intelligent analysis and study. I think you would benefit from some of this deeper study. If you want to be a really good astrologer which means being a counselor of human beings, it is wise to have a deep understanding of human psychology. Understanding the meaning of ego defense mechanisms is critical to this. Freud was the first to catalog these - some are denial, repression, sublimation, projection, rationalization, regression. Modern psychology continues to accept these concepts and has continued to contribute to their understanding.



Many people who are spiritual students have come to believe that like- energy attracts like in this "energetic universe." Thus acting from a place of negative self esteem (shame, feeling inadequate) will attract others who have the same underlying dysfunction. Then you have two people who have unhealed psychic wounds together, and they rarely can fulfill the others "neurotic" or unhealthy needs. Whereas if one has healthy self - love they are more likely to attract others who also have this. That's is a much better recipe for relationship success. I believe this and there is data to support it. In one of Robert Holden's books (sorry I don't recall which one) he cites a study that showed that people who were the happiest before they married, were also the happiest after and during their marriage. With maturity people often come to realize that happiness , or self-love" is an "inside job" and when they accept that, all of their relationships become happier. That doesn't mean they lose the human desire for friendship and sharing.



Of course there are lots of people on the internet sites trying to get liked because of their physical beauty. The physical is all you can see in that medium. Don't assume that what you see there is the totality of the culture.
 

thelivingsky

Well-known member
Re: Self Love in Astrology

Waybread,
I love this. Thanks for sharing it.
Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
Re: Self Love in Astrology

Self love starts with learning how to masturbate without guilt and to orgasm without apology. Unfortunately, for many people it is a sin that's deeply ingrained in their psyche due to misogyny, religion, and societal programming.

Studies do not lie...

For women, having an orgasm from intercourse is much less guaranteed than for men. In 2015, 46% of women said that they always or nearly always had an orgasm when having intercourse, with only 6% of women reporting always having an orgasm.


Sexual revolution did not do its job properly.

Astrology can help us with this, in learning to come to terms with sexuality and understanding it. The proper planets that need to be analyzed for these are the planets of the mind and character, and the planets of love and passion.
 
Re: Self Love in Astrology

Ways to practice self-love include:

Becoming mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
Taking actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
Practicing good self-care. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.
Making room for healthy habits. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Re: Self Love in Astrology

Bunraku, oppression vs. is a much bigger topic than autoeroticism.

Think of all the ways in which women have had to be what their society (including the Male Gaze) demands them to be. Fixing one issue ignores the larger structural issues.

I don't know that everyone can master self-love in the sense of one's identity. Sun opposite Saturn or conjunct Chiron in a nativity isn't going away.

What often works is finding something in life that transports one into a better space. For some it is the love of the Great Outdoors. For others, the ability to be deeply moved by one's favorite music. For an athlete it might be running or working out in a gym, where they feel that runner's or workout high.

These might be forms of sublimation, but they uplift the spirit.
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
Re: Self Love in Astrology

Oh come on. There's so much disinformation and misogynistic and false teachings out there, and even medical sciences ignore female anatomy on purpose. This is the hill you're willing to die on?
 

waybread

Well-known member
Re: Self Love in Astrology

Who is dying on a hill??

What hill are you dying on?

I don't find overblown metaphors to be helpful.
 
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