How to cope with crippling loneliness?

Any advice for this? I'm wondering if making imaginary friends might help.

Isn't complaining an attempt at bonding? Isn't bonding exactly what I can't do?

I struggle with this too sometimes.

Talk to God about it. Ask Him to help you fill self with peace, love, wholeness. Ask him to bring someone in your life who you can relate to and open up to.

Phoenix Venus said:

I struggle with this too sometimes.

Talk to God about it. Ask Him to help you fill self with peace, love, wholeness. Ask him to bring someone in your life who you can relate to and open up to.

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Pretty sure God doesn't listen to people like me. So, shrug.

graay ghost said:

Pretty sure God doesn't listen to people like me. So, shrug.

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Have you tried??

i was assuming loneliness got better with age? well, the main thing that worries me is if you are lonely and at a vulnerable age, then thats when it starts to get dangeroous. i hope this doesnt sound too controversial, but i think loneliness is self inflicted, not imparting blame by saying that, but if you implanted an extroverted persons mind set into yours, then problem solved, so our fears inside ourselves create our own reality.

that being said, if i compare myself to a friend i have who has had a similar irksome teens/20s, but she us an extrovert and i am an introvert. i dont think she has ever been short of being admired socially, whereas me having my walls up and not being able to hide my emotions like she can, has meant some people like me and others dont. i can see the benefits my friend has in being able to manage her own pr (taurus sun, gemini moon, sag rising), it means she can hide her problems and fears to the world. in contrast, ive had a small group of friends im to and have managed to avoid social, petty drama, being hurt by those who see a vulnerable woman and latch on to it. dont get me wrong, ive been hurt just the same, but ive managed to protect myself from more danger.

also, the biggest point, which is why it gets its own paragraph -putting walls up may lead to loneliness which is indeed crippling, but it has protected your inner nature from being hurt, which is why those lonely, quiet people have a beautiful soul hidden underneath, as if its been kept pure.

the key to everything essentially is balance though. theres no one right answer. and yes, i feel lonely sometimes. but its who i am. ive needed to protect myself from this harsh world. some people just dont have the same predatory instincts i think takes to survive in a dog eat dog world. if youre not tge type to trample over the rights of others, and the majority of people do, no wonder weve made ourselves lonely.

that being said, although ive lost my trust in people, thats something i need to work on, whilst not losing the protective bubble ive built. but i think thats getting into neptune territory, and your reasons for loneliness may have a different motivation.

I think most people are lonely, it's part of the human condition... especially if you are different from the mainstream... Some people manage to cover it up with activity or friends, but we all look for deeper connections...

graay ghost said:

Pretty sure God doesn't listen to people like me. So, shrug.

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Do you listen to God?

I don't think God wants any of us, including yourself, to bask in self pity. That is pretty sh!tty. Rather be a little witty and find something you enjoy and engage in that. If you can't find a hobby/sport that involves other people, or even if you can, a great thing to engage in is social service. If you work, do it in your free time instead of sitting on the couch by yourself and criticizing life and God. That will change nothing and then nobody but you yourself are the doer of what is happening.

See the great thing about social service is that it has manifold advantages. Firstly, your own mind is engaged in something constructive and productive. Secondly, you are helping someone else that perhaps really needs your help. Thirdly, you will feel this immense sense of a different kind of an achievement and fulfilment. Fourthly, you are not idle and despairing in negative thoughts. Lastly, chances of meeting others, those that think like you and are also helping and those that are being helped, increases. Think about it. No matter where in the world you are, you can find something to do. Believe me. It is a tried-and-tested method to feeling great and very uplifting. Also, it is a total win-win for everyone involved.

Bina said:

Have you tried??

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I heard from a little birdie that God doesn't like gay agnostic Jews. Actually a whole flock of birds. Or maybe they were sheep...

graay ghost said:

I heard from a little birdie that God doesn't like gay agnostic Jews. Actually a whole flock of birds. Or maybe they were sheep...

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Perhaps it's the other way round??

Samantha Bean said:

God does. But the problem is getting HIM to do what you want Him to do. HE kind of has the ultimate mind of HIS own. HE gives us what we need not what we think we want.

And so then we think HE's not listening. Its really us who are not listening.

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Answers like this is why I don't trust people, I think.

I believe that the best thing to do in your situation is to lower your standards. You can start hanging out with people who seem boring or people who are not your type. That way you can get out more and meet new people. You also get to practice your social skills so that you will be better prepared when you meet people you like. When people spend a lot of time on their own they often don't practice meeting other people half way and making an effort to find something you have in common and they become more socially anxious. You will never find someone who suits you in every possible way. It's best to have various people in your life, with some you can have deep conversations, with some you can be more easygoing and so on.

Another alternative is to go out into the world and show the unique you openly, then the people who like your way of being will be drawn to you.

You can take classes or join different kinds of groups to meet new people.

You should ask yourself if you isolate yourself because you fear that you will feel invaded, controlled, overpowered, criticised, judged, deceived, exposed or something else? Look for blockages within you. Do you feel that no one wants to be with you or do you feel that you can't find anyone you would like to spend time with?

Neptunian Rainbow said:

You should ask yourself if you isolate yourself because you fear that you will feel invaded, controlled, overpowered, criticised, judged, deceived, exposed or something else? Look for blockages within you. Do you feel that no one wants to be with you or do you feel that you can't find anyone you would like to spend time with?

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Well the simple fact of the matter is that human beings are terrifying. Have you ever met one? I mean, in this very thread, I try to ask advice on my descent into insanity and I get mobbed about my belief in their deity. Like, I didn't ask for that. It just happened, and now I'm on the defensive trying to review all my theological-fu to combat them off.

It's hard to say you "fear" these things when they happen every single goddamn day. It's less "fear" and more "preparedness for the inevitable."

graay ghost said:

Well the simple fact of the matter is that human beings are terrifying. Have you ever met one? I mean, in this very thread, I try to ask advice on my descent into insanity and I get mobbed about my belief in their deity. Like, I didn't ask for that. It just happened, and now I'm on the defensive trying to review all my theological-fu to combat them off.

It's hard to say you "fear" these things when they happen every single goddamn day. It's less "fear" and more "preparedness for the inevitable."

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If you see all humans as terrifying and you don't want to befriend them you don't have to do it. I assumed that you wanted advice about how to meet people, but know I realize that you simply asked about how you should deal with your loneliness. That was my mistake. Avoiding people will make you feel lonely so it is not easy for anyone to give you advice in your situation. A few people have been able to live in isolation due to immense amounts of meditation that have lead them to find inner peace. It is not common but you could try it.

I have also met terrifying people. I have been badly abused in many ways so I do understand what it feels like to fear people. I have also met people who are kind. But that might be me hallucinating and perhaps you are the one who is right. I don't feel a need to discuss the subject further.

You should do what you believe is the best thing to do. Creating imaginary friends is something you can do and you could also for example get a pet or work with animals.

Dear Ghost,
I'm also sorry you are accosted by beings insisting you believe in their fantasy to help with your issue. That said, I do find that a practice in appreciation can really help. For a few minutes every day (or night) and increasing the time over time, remembering all the things in your life you can and do have appreciation for. Even simply being alive, former friends/allies, skills you've learned/aquired etc...very personal things. Over time you can start extending that to others and also contexts such as having fresh air to breathe, clean water to drink, seeing others in happy relationships...how great they are.
This helps to cut the very fastidious cycle of thinking that you are not or have not what you believe will make you happy or happier. When we appreciate the world more we actually are more open for the things we wish to actually manifest.
At least for me.
Good luck.
kz

Studying Buddhism helped me.

http://www.zen-buddhism.net/buddhist-principles/four-noble-truths.html

Moondance

I don't know if I should be grateful for being alive. With all of the people around me getting sick and dying, that seems like tempting fate.

As long you hear a voice inside, you are not alone.

theV said:

As long you hear a voice inside, you are not alone.

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That's kind of spooky

Write a book about it. Here is an example: http://www.planetebook.com/ebooks/Notes-from-the-Underground.pdf

and I'll read it