Childhood abuse
- Thread starter linoverstreet
- Start date
waybread
Well-known member
Re: astrology only, to All
So sorry this has happened to you.
You won't forget it but you can refuse to let it define you.
Your sun indicates your identity. Uranus indicates your power to make a break with your past, and to move into a new trajectory. With your sun conjunct Uranus, you have a heightened capacity to reinvent yourself.
I don't know if you are or have been in therapy, but I would recommend it, especially if you have PTSD. Don't go it alone.
With so many planets in Sagittarius, you might enjoy developing a life philosophy or strong sense of spirituality. These won't undo the past, but they may give you more optimism in dealing with today and the future;
So sorry this has happened to you.
You won't forget it but you can refuse to let it define you.
Your sun indicates your identity. Uranus indicates your power to make a break with your past, and to move into a new trajectory. With your sun conjunct Uranus, you have a heightened capacity to reinvent yourself.
I don't know if you are or have been in therapy, but I would recommend it, especially if you have PTSD. Don't go it alone.
With so many planets in Sagittarius, you might enjoy developing a life philosophy or strong sense of spirituality. These won't undo the past, but they may give you more optimism in dealing with today and the future;
PurpleReign
Well-known member
Hi 
Admittedly, I only really know to interpret birth charts in a general way and won't be as much help as Waybread, but I did want to try and help with your question to the best of my own abilities as well.
You have Pluto in the 4th, so do I. Tough placement. In short, my own childhood was definitely more loving and stable than are very many people's childhoods that I hear about and I do have a good and close relationship with my parents, but things looked better and more ideal on the outside than in reality. My parents don't have a happy marriage and I don't remember a single day that my parents weren't shouting at each other.
I often felt embarrassed by the fact that they weren't more typical in the sense that they had a good and healthy relationship, so I always felt the need to hide my home life from friends and I'd embellish in the sense that I'd always imply my family is close and stable, and to an extent we are. During any kind of emergency, everyone does get concerned and helps in any way possible. Everyone is on speaking terms. Yet there is and always has been utter tension. I never in my life felt like I had a normal family and it left me traumatized. This is all just in a nutshell -- every family has problems, but my families fights and lack of warmth and normalcy left me not wanting a family of my own -- I just don't want to hijack your post any further, lol!
I imagine that the Pluto in the 4th placement makes you feel psychologically traumatized. Perhaps you feel a longing to feel the void and you want to feel some kind of normalcy and closure, but there was (and maybe still is) tension and power struggles within your family that leave you feeling, "Oh, they're never going to change. I was robbed of a decent childhood" and you're broken. Maybe one or both of your parents were very domineering, authoritative, demanding, perhaps violent, controlling, overbearing, etc. All things that leave psychological scars.
Your Saturn in the 4th would additionally imply that home life/childhood is the area where the bulk of your karmic lessons will be. Saturn in the 4th may imply older parents who are generationally way different from you and your peers' families. It may been you grew up in a cold, aloof, unemotional environment with little expression of love or warmth. Difficult placement. Both pluto and saturn are in Scorpio, so if I had to guess, maybe your home life was one of power struggles, psychological abuse (on rare occasions maybe sexual, but that wasn't the case with me and I assume probably not with you, but it's possible), domineering and emotionally draining environment.
To answer your question, your Moon and Sun are in fire signs. It shows your inner self is aligned with your emotional nature. Your Moon in Leo does give you more of a "fighter" and "survivor" mentality than that of many people and your sun in Sag in the 5th house of Leo solidifies that. Moon, your emotional nature, is in positive aspect to your Mercury (your mental/intellectual state). It also positively aspects Sun, and Sun and Mercury are in positive harmony with each other. I think you have the potential to work through your childhood traumas beautifully. Your sun, Moon, and Mercury are in good harmony, so they work together easier than if they were squares or in opposition. Again, yes, you certainly can overcome your troubles. It will be hard because childhood traumas are extremely difficult. Depending on what you went through, you may never fully get over it, but you have the potential for great mental and emotional stability and inner satisfaction because of the fact that they are all three in fire signs (which, incidentally, are more positive by nature and Sag itself is known for optimism and positivity) and in good harmony.
Best of luck. And don't assume just because you aren't trauma free that you can't be happy or make tremendous improvement. We all carry some trauma with us. Some people's burdens are heavier than others. It's about finding what form of therapy (be it a soothing and fullfilling hobby or real therapy) works best for you and having the willpower to keep moving. Accept that the past happened and understand that that doesn't mean your future is doomed.
Admittedly, I only really know to interpret birth charts in a general way and won't be as much help as Waybread, but I did want to try and help with your question to the best of my own abilities as well.
You have Pluto in the 4th, so do I. Tough placement. In short, my own childhood was definitely more loving and stable than are very many people's childhoods that I hear about and I do have a good and close relationship with my parents, but things looked better and more ideal on the outside than in reality. My parents don't have a happy marriage and I don't remember a single day that my parents weren't shouting at each other.
I often felt embarrassed by the fact that they weren't more typical in the sense that they had a good and healthy relationship, so I always felt the need to hide my home life from friends and I'd embellish in the sense that I'd always imply my family is close and stable, and to an extent we are. During any kind of emergency, everyone does get concerned and helps in any way possible. Everyone is on speaking terms. Yet there is and always has been utter tension. I never in my life felt like I had a normal family and it left me traumatized. This is all just in a nutshell -- every family has problems, but my families fights and lack of warmth and normalcy left me not wanting a family of my own -- I just don't want to hijack your post any further, lol!
I imagine that the Pluto in the 4th placement makes you feel psychologically traumatized. Perhaps you feel a longing to feel the void and you want to feel some kind of normalcy and closure, but there was (and maybe still is) tension and power struggles within your family that leave you feeling, "Oh, they're never going to change. I was robbed of a decent childhood" and you're broken. Maybe one or both of your parents were very domineering, authoritative, demanding, perhaps violent, controlling, overbearing, etc. All things that leave psychological scars.
Your Saturn in the 4th would additionally imply that home life/childhood is the area where the bulk of your karmic lessons will be. Saturn in the 4th may imply older parents who are generationally way different from you and your peers' families. It may been you grew up in a cold, aloof, unemotional environment with little expression of love or warmth. Difficult placement. Both pluto and saturn are in Scorpio, so if I had to guess, maybe your home life was one of power struggles, psychological abuse (on rare occasions maybe sexual, but that wasn't the case with me and I assume probably not with you, but it's possible), domineering and emotionally draining environment.
To answer your question, your Moon and Sun are in fire signs. It shows your inner self is aligned with your emotional nature. Your Moon in Leo does give you more of a "fighter" and "survivor" mentality than that of many people and your sun in Sag in the 5th house of Leo solidifies that. Moon, your emotional nature, is in positive aspect to your Mercury (your mental/intellectual state). It also positively aspects Sun, and Sun and Mercury are in positive harmony with each other. I think you have the potential to work through your childhood traumas beautifully. Your sun, Moon, and Mercury are in good harmony, so they work together easier than if they were squares or in opposition. Again, yes, you certainly can overcome your troubles. It will be hard because childhood traumas are extremely difficult. Depending on what you went through, you may never fully get over it, but you have the potential for great mental and emotional stability and inner satisfaction because of the fact that they are all three in fire signs (which, incidentally, are more positive by nature and Sag itself is known for optimism and positivity) and in good harmony.
Best of luck. And don't assume just because you aren't trauma free that you can't be happy or make tremendous improvement. We all carry some trauma with us. Some people's burdens are heavier than others. It's about finding what form of therapy (be it a soothing and fullfilling hobby or real therapy) works best for you and having the willpower to keep moving. Accept that the past happened and understand that that doesn't mean your future is doomed.
You do have some tough aspects in your chart.
The Moon, the ruler of the chart, is applying to an opposition to Mars and a square to Saturn in Scorpio.
Your Moon could represent your mother figure, and your emotional health. It is under fire from Mars, in the 7th of open enemies and partners.
You may have seen/experienced Domestic Violence as a child, involving the women in your life, and it is perhaps ingrained in your own emotional behaviour/reactions. That opposition creates defensive, rebelliousness, fighting against any feelings of restriction etc.
That Moon/Mars opposition is squared by Saturn in Scorpio in the 4th. Saturn in that placement is separation, repression, suppressed feelings and dissatisfaction.
Did you watch your parents fight and break up, and then experienced the devastating aftermath?
Pluto is also in the 4th house, of early childhood, with that Saturn. Pluto is squaring your Venus in the 7th. Your childhood role models of ‘love relationships’ were out of whack. Dysfunctional examples of love, because of obsession and jealousy? Anger and volatile episodes.
Extraordinary stresses and strains in one’s love life, can follow into one's early adulthood.. Sometimes that stress is from memories of one's own experiences in childhood, of trauma, perhaps also of sexual abuse. Survivors of childhood abuse can rely upon this strong Pluto /Venus square to help them overcome the past trauma. But then they need to reinvent themselves after their Saturn return, to become that Phoenix. To be the survivors and two help others as well.
THE GOOD NEWS===your squares/oppoasitions have wonderful outlet, which can mitigate and heal these childhood struggles.
Look at your chart. The red lines are the stressful aspects I just briefly summarised. But notice that all of the red squares/oppositions have nice blue lines which align in the 5th/6th houses.
Those 3 planets in Sag in the 5th are the perfect outlet for that stress and pain.
5th house pursuits/with Saggitarius influence:
Art/ Music/ Writing/Acting…Creative self expression.
Children, joy, hobbies, athletics, self reliance.
Spiritual pursuits and being a conduit for philosophical wisdom? Metaphysical and Astrological studies and self improvement.
So YES, the answer to your question above is YES, you can overcome a difficult childhood.
Through your creative self expression, your skills and talents, your love of children, and
Sports and hobbies and your own self confidence and self reliance.
With your North Node and Chiron in the 11th, you may be a teacher and role model, showing others how to overcome abuse and bullying. And in doing so, you heal thyself.
The Moon, the ruler of the chart, is applying to an opposition to Mars and a square to Saturn in Scorpio.
Your Moon could represent your mother figure, and your emotional health. It is under fire from Mars, in the 7th of open enemies and partners.
You may have seen/experienced Domestic Violence as a child, involving the women in your life, and it is perhaps ingrained in your own emotional behaviour/reactions. That opposition creates defensive, rebelliousness, fighting against any feelings of restriction etc.
That Moon/Mars opposition is squared by Saturn in Scorpio in the 4th. Saturn in that placement is separation, repression, suppressed feelings and dissatisfaction.
Did you watch your parents fight and break up, and then experienced the devastating aftermath?
Pluto is also in the 4th house, of early childhood, with that Saturn. Pluto is squaring your Venus in the 7th. Your childhood role models of ‘love relationships’ were out of whack. Dysfunctional examples of love, because of obsession and jealousy? Anger and volatile episodes.
Extraordinary stresses and strains in one’s love life, can follow into one's early adulthood.. Sometimes that stress is from memories of one's own experiences in childhood, of trauma, perhaps also of sexual abuse. Survivors of childhood abuse can rely upon this strong Pluto /Venus square to help them overcome the past trauma. But then they need to reinvent themselves after their Saturn return, to become that Phoenix. To be the survivors and two help others as well.
THE GOOD NEWS===your squares/oppoasitions have wonderful outlet, which can mitigate and heal these childhood struggles.
Look at your chart. The red lines are the stressful aspects I just briefly summarised. But notice that all of the red squares/oppositions have nice blue lines which align in the 5th/6th houses.
Those 3 planets in Sag in the 5th are the perfect outlet for that stress and pain.
5th house pursuits/with Saggitarius influence:
Art/ Music/ Writing/Acting…Creative self expression.
Children, joy, hobbies, athletics, self reliance.
Spiritual pursuits and being a conduit for philosophical wisdom? Metaphysical and Astrological studies and self improvement.
So YES, the answer to your question above is YES, you can overcome a difficult childhood.
Through your creative self expression, your skills and talents, your love of children, and
Sports and hobbies and your own self confidence and self reliance.
With your North Node and Chiron in the 11th, you may be a teacher and role model, showing others how to overcome abuse and bullying. And in doing so, you heal thyself.
Last edited:
linoverstreet
New member
Thank you so much for your response. Yes, I was sexually abused around the age of 10 and my mother told me that I was lying and tried to hide it. I never felt loved by my mother. My father was a severe alcoholic. My sister was my mother’s pride and joy. Mom and Dad split when I was 16 when she was arrested for domestic violence. My father passed away in 2003 when I was 18. My mother was very controlling. I couldn’t take certain classes in high school because she didn’t approve and i wasn’t allowed to date unless she really liked the boy. I am no longer in contact with my mother or my sister due to something that happened between my ex and my sister and my mother covering for my sister.
QUOTE=PurpleReign;991427]Hi
Admittedly, I only really know to interpret birth charts in a general way and won't be as much help as Waybread, but I did want to try and help with your question to the best of my own abilities as well.
You have Pluto in the 4th, so do I. Tough placement. In short, my own childhood was definitely more loving and stable than are very many people's childhoods that I hear about and I do have a good and close relationship with my parents, but things looked better and more ideal on the outside than in reality. My parents don't have a happy marriage and I don't remember a single day that my parents weren't shouting at each other.
I often felt embarrassed by the fact that they weren't more typical in the sense that they had a good and healthy relationship, so I always felt the need to hide my home life from friends and I'd embellish in the sense that I'd always imply my family is close and stable, and to an extent we are. During any kind of emergency, everyone does get concerned and helps in any way possible. Everyone is on speaking terms. Yet there is and always has been utter tension. I never in my life felt like I had a normal family and it left me traumatized. This is all just in a nutshell -- every family has problems, but my families fights and lack of warmth and normalcy left me not wanting a family of my own -- I just don't want to hijack your post any further, lol!
I imagine that the Pluto in the 4th placement makes you feel psychologically traumatized. Perhaps you feel a longing to feel the void and you want to feel some kind of normalcy and closure, but there was (and maybe still is) tension and power struggles within your family that leave you feeling, "Oh, they're never going to change. I was robbed of a decent childhood" and you're broken. Maybe one or both of your parents were very domineering, authoritative, demanding, perhaps violent, controlling, overbearing, etc. All things that leave psychological scars.
Your Saturn in the 4th would additionally imply that home life/childhood is the area where the bulk of your karmic lessons will be. Saturn in the 4th may imply older parents who are generationally way different from you and your peers' families. It may been you grew up in a cold, aloof, unemotional environment with little expression of love or warmth. Difficult placement. Both pluto and saturn are in Scorpio, so if I had to guess, maybe your home life was one of power struggles, psychological abuse (on rare occasions maybe sexual, but that wasn't the case with me and I assume probably not with you, but it's possible), domineering and emotionally draining environment.
To answer your question, your Moon and Sun are in fire signs. It shows your inner self is aligned with your emotional nature. Your Moon in Leo does give you more of a "fighter" and "survivor" mentality than that of many people and your sun in Sag in the 5th house of Leo solidifies that. Moon, your emotional nature, is in positive aspect to your Mercury (your mental/intellectual state). It also positively aspects Sun, and Sun and Mercury are in positive harmony with each other. I think you have the potential to work through your childhood traumas beautifully. Your sun, Moon, and Mercury are in good harmony, so they work together easier than if they were squares or in opposition. Again, yes, you certainly can overcome your troubles. It will be hard because childhood traumas are extremely difficult. Depending on what you went through, you may never fully get over it, but you have the potential for great mental and emotional stability and inner satisfaction because of the fact that they are all three in fire signs (which, incidentally, are more positive by nature and Sag itself is known for optimism and positivity) and in good harmony.
Best of luck. And don't assume just because you aren't trauma free that you can't be happy or make tremendous improvement. We all carry some trauma with us. Some people's burdens are heavier than others. It's about finding what form of therapy (be it a soothing and fullfilling hobby or real therapy) works best for you and having the willpower to keep moving. Accept that the past happened and understand that that doesn't mean your future is doomed.[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=PurpleReign;991427]Hi
Admittedly, I only really know to interpret birth charts in a general way and won't be as much help as Waybread, but I did want to try and help with your question to the best of my own abilities as well.
You have Pluto in the 4th, so do I. Tough placement. In short, my own childhood was definitely more loving and stable than are very many people's childhoods that I hear about and I do have a good and close relationship with my parents, but things looked better and more ideal on the outside than in reality. My parents don't have a happy marriage and I don't remember a single day that my parents weren't shouting at each other.
I often felt embarrassed by the fact that they weren't more typical in the sense that they had a good and healthy relationship, so I always felt the need to hide my home life from friends and I'd embellish in the sense that I'd always imply my family is close and stable, and to an extent we are. During any kind of emergency, everyone does get concerned and helps in any way possible. Everyone is on speaking terms. Yet there is and always has been utter tension. I never in my life felt like I had a normal family and it left me traumatized. This is all just in a nutshell -- every family has problems, but my families fights and lack of warmth and normalcy left me not wanting a family of my own -- I just don't want to hijack your post any further, lol!
I imagine that the Pluto in the 4th placement makes you feel psychologically traumatized. Perhaps you feel a longing to feel the void and you want to feel some kind of normalcy and closure, but there was (and maybe still is) tension and power struggles within your family that leave you feeling, "Oh, they're never going to change. I was robbed of a decent childhood" and you're broken. Maybe one or both of your parents were very domineering, authoritative, demanding, perhaps violent, controlling, overbearing, etc. All things that leave psychological scars.
Your Saturn in the 4th would additionally imply that home life/childhood is the area where the bulk of your karmic lessons will be. Saturn in the 4th may imply older parents who are generationally way different from you and your peers' families. It may been you grew up in a cold, aloof, unemotional environment with little expression of love or warmth. Difficult placement. Both pluto and saturn are in Scorpio, so if I had to guess, maybe your home life was one of power struggles, psychological abuse (on rare occasions maybe sexual, but that wasn't the case with me and I assume probably not with you, but it's possible), domineering and emotionally draining environment.
To answer your question, your Moon and Sun are in fire signs. It shows your inner self is aligned with your emotional nature. Your Moon in Leo does give you more of a "fighter" and "survivor" mentality than that of many people and your sun in Sag in the 5th house of Leo solidifies that. Moon, your emotional nature, is in positive aspect to your Mercury (your mental/intellectual state). It also positively aspects Sun, and Sun and Mercury are in positive harmony with each other. I think you have the potential to work through your childhood traumas beautifully. Your sun, Moon, and Mercury are in good harmony, so they work together easier than if they were squares or in opposition. Again, yes, you certainly can overcome your troubles. It will be hard because childhood traumas are extremely difficult. Depending on what you went through, you may never fully get over it, but you have the potential for great mental and emotional stability and inner satisfaction because of the fact that they are all three in fire signs (which, incidentally, are more positive by nature and Sag itself is known for optimism and positivity) and in good harmony.
Best of luck. And don't assume just because you aren't trauma free that you can't be happy or make tremendous improvement. We all carry some trauma with us. Some people's burdens are heavier than others. It's about finding what form of therapy (be it a soothing and fullfilling hobby or real therapy) works best for you and having the willpower to keep moving. Accept that the past happened and understand that that doesn't mean your future is doomed.[/QUOTE]
linoverstreet
New member
Thank you so much for your response. Yes, my mother was arrested for domestic violence against my father when I was 16. My mom filed for divorce and tried to get everything from my father but he died 2 years later. When I became an adult, I was in a very abusive relationship for about 7 years. As for suppression, When I was little my mother would pick in me for crying and say that I was a drama queen. So I have an issue was crying and showing emotion to this day.
QUOTE=katydid;991428]You do have some tough aspects in your chart.
The Moon, the ruler of the chart, is applying to an opposition to Mars and a square to Saturn in Scorpio.
Your Moon could represent your mother figure, and your emotional health. It is under fire from Mars, in the 7th of open enemies and partners.
You may have seen/experienced Domestic Violence as a child, involving the women in your life, and it is perhaps ingrained in your own emotional behaviour/reactions. That opposition creates defensive, rebelliousness, fighting against any feelings of restriction etc.
That Moon/Mars opposition is squared by Saturn in Scorpio in the 4th. Saturn in that placement is separation, repression, suppressed feelings and dissatisfaction.
Did you watch your parents fight and break up, and then experienced the devastating aftermath?
Pluto is also in the 4th house, of early childhood, with that Saturn. Pluto is squaring your Venus in the 7th. Your childhood role models of ‘love relationships’ were out of whack. Dysfunctional examples of love, because of obsession and jealousy? Anger and volatile episodes.
Extraordinary stresses and strains in one’s love life, can follow into one's early adulthood.. Sometimes that stress is from memories of one's own experiences in childhood, of trauma, perhaps also of sexual abuse. Survivors of childhood abuse can rely upon this strong Pluto /Venus square to help them overcome the past trauma. But then they need to reinvent themselves after their Saturn return, to become that Phoenix. To be the survivors and two help others as well.
THE GOOD NEWS===your squares/oppoasitions have wonderful outlet, which can mitigate and heal these childhood struggles.
Look at your chart. The red lines are the stressful aspects I just briefly summarised. But notice that all of the red squares/oppositions have nice blue lines which align in the 5th/6th houses.
Those 3 planets in Sag in the 5th are the perfect outlet for that stress and pain.
5th house pursuits/with Saggitarius influence:
Art/ Music/ Writing/Acting…Creative self expression.
Children, joy, hobbies, athletics, self reliance.
Spiritual pursuits and being a conduit for philosophical wisdom? Metaphysical and Astrological studies and self improvement.
So YES, the answer to your question above is YES, you can overcome a difficult childhood.
Through your creative self expression, your skills and talents, your love of children, and
Sports and hobbies and your own self confidence and self reliance.
With your North Node and Chiron in the 11th, you may be a teacher and role model, showing others how to overcome abuse and bullying. And in doing so, you heal thyself.[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=katydid;991428]You do have some tough aspects in your chart.
The Moon, the ruler of the chart, is applying to an opposition to Mars and a square to Saturn in Scorpio.
Your Moon could represent your mother figure, and your emotional health. It is under fire from Mars, in the 7th of open enemies and partners.
You may have seen/experienced Domestic Violence as a child, involving the women in your life, and it is perhaps ingrained in your own emotional behaviour/reactions. That opposition creates defensive, rebelliousness, fighting against any feelings of restriction etc.
That Moon/Mars opposition is squared by Saturn in Scorpio in the 4th. Saturn in that placement is separation, repression, suppressed feelings and dissatisfaction.
Did you watch your parents fight and break up, and then experienced the devastating aftermath?
Pluto is also in the 4th house, of early childhood, with that Saturn. Pluto is squaring your Venus in the 7th. Your childhood role models of ‘love relationships’ were out of whack. Dysfunctional examples of love, because of obsession and jealousy? Anger and volatile episodes.
Extraordinary stresses and strains in one’s love life, can follow into one's early adulthood.. Sometimes that stress is from memories of one's own experiences in childhood, of trauma, perhaps also of sexual abuse. Survivors of childhood abuse can rely upon this strong Pluto /Venus square to help them overcome the past trauma. But then they need to reinvent themselves after their Saturn return, to become that Phoenix. To be the survivors and two help others as well.
THE GOOD NEWS===your squares/oppoasitions have wonderful outlet, which can mitigate and heal these childhood struggles.
Look at your chart. The red lines are the stressful aspects I just briefly summarised. But notice that all of the red squares/oppositions have nice blue lines which align in the 5th/6th houses.
Those 3 planets in Sag in the 5th are the perfect outlet for that stress and pain.
5th house pursuits/with Saggitarius influence:
Art/ Music/ Writing/Acting…Creative self expression.
Children, joy, hobbies, athletics, self reliance.
Spiritual pursuits and being a conduit for philosophical wisdom? Metaphysical and Astrological studies and self improvement.
So YES, the answer to your question above is YES, you can overcome a difficult childhood.
Through your creative self expression, your skills and talents, your love of children, and
Sports and hobbies and your own self confidence and self reliance.
With your North Node and Chiron in the 11th, you may be a teacher and role model, showing others how to overcome abuse and bullying. And in doing so, you heal thyself.[/QUOTE]
PurpleReign
Well-known member
Oh, wow, I’m really sorry that you went through all that. That definitely is a lot for an innocent person to go through. Look, you won’t be able to change anything that’s happened to you and that’s unfortunate. But you do have a lot of positive aspects in your chart that shows you have a nature that is ideal and compatible with the mentality of looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and being a positive and strong individual. There are so many people who have been through the terrible things you’ve been through and there are people who have been through a lot worse and they accepted what happened to them but slowly and surely came to understand that it doesn’t have to define or destroy their future.
You didn’t ask to go through any of that. It happened to you. Don’t keep punishing yourself for something that isn’t your fault. You’ll find something that gives you peace and healing, you just have to look for it to find it! Best of luck
You didn’t ask to go through any of that. It happened to you. Don’t keep punishing yourself for something that isn’t your fault. You’ll find something that gives you peace and healing, you just have to look for it to find it! Best of luck