Struggling to cope - Pluto/Uranus transits to angles - pls support

I'm not sure where to put this post in the medical, relational or transit section so I'll start here. (may copy to medical forum)

I'm hoping that some of you may be able to provide some advice or words of wisdom.

Here is my chart and transits.

- Transiting Pluto is on my descendent - squaring my Natal sun/Pluto conjunction and obviously opposing my ascendant.
- Transiting Uranus is also opposing my Sun/Pluto and squaring my Ascendant.
- Just noticed transiting saturn is also on top of my neptune, opposing moon/Jupiter. I'm not sure exactly what this means for me.

Seven weeks ago I got very very sick, with an inner ear infection which has left me nearly deaf, unable to walk or see straight (though thank god I can move around in the house ok now), I'm weak and disorientated by the blaringly loud machinerey-noise-tinnitus in my head 24 hours a day. I've been housebound the whole time and except for the odd visitor, am alone most of the time.I havent been able to work.

Prior to this I was a pretty healthy, energetic, 38 year old female into lots of things including dancing, spirituality and being active outdoors. I never had any ear problems.

After 2 weeks of me being ill my boyfriend, who I very dearly love, decided I was too much of a handful and left me without really explaining anything and I can't get him to talk to me now. I feel devastated. So betrayed and let down.

The sense of loss I feel is so deeply painful, coupled with the isolation of being so sick and without much support,I really dont know how I am going to cope. It would be okay if I could see this would be something that passes quickly but I can see these transits are going to continue for a LONG time. All of my transits seem to be about loss and i feel really left out in the cold. The world suddenly seems like a very harsh place.

The saturn on my neptune - moon opposition I hadnt really noticed. can anyone shed light on this? I know moon-neptune might be the child who only gets nurtured when they are sick. Also, what does this aspect say about illusion/dellusion? Any insightplease?

Please share any advice on dealing with with these transits. Is the solution in the chart with the problem? Does anyone have any insight to share with me so I can see more than just the betrayal/loss and sudden loss of my life/health and lover! I'm trying to surrender. I've been doing a pretty good job until now but I'm getting tired.

x

Indeed those are difficult transits, and the more angular, the more difficult or transforming. But something good might actually come out of it "on the other end". I feel for you and I tell you I am going through some of those transits myself.

If you do not want to go through those angular transits, you can actually relocate to have other planets angular in your local chart.

You are going through a rough patch and I feel for you,I hope everything flows in a safe stream.I am concerned more of your health state,because it is showing up in the transit. There is what I call a hidden aspect ;your Neptune transit in pisces 8 is conjunct the sun in 19libra ,yeah suprising but how?.

The antiscia of 19 degree libra is 8 degree pisces;therefore,a conjunct happens between the natal Libra sun and the transiting Neptune,and base on my studies I have the notion that there might be also a parallel between the sun and Neptune which explains your condition such as illness,isolation,and illusions. You are going through the rough waves of neptune that is for sure.

I also feel that there might be a parallel between Venus and Saturn,in so far as saturn is in 18s declination and the usual declination for Venus 20degree is also 18s.And not to mention Pluto is inhabiting your 7th house that might causes chaos in relationship.

It is tough transit really, a heavily influenced transits from outer planets plus your chart is also influenced by outer planet making it harder a bit

Do I have no choice but to sit through it and wait..?
How long will it be!? Will i ever get my hearing back?
I don't understand the aspects you speak of antiscaras and parallels.

YOu don't mention seeing an ear specialist or taking antibiotics or asking your doctor for his diagnosis and prognosis regarding how long this will take to heal.
So I need to know this part before going on to the social aspects.
LIN

Spacecadet

These are really powerful transits of change.

The october eclipse at 15 aries
and the eclipse today on 15 libra adds weigth to the whole picture
as squaring the ascendant (body) to the degree.

I will look at it further....

Firstly the transiting Saturn is not yet within orb of your Neptune. For the ear stuff, that looks like a manifestation of Neptune in 6th - and close to 6th house cusp - where your emotional state can have a direct effect on your health.

No-one is going to tell you this is easy or it will be over soon. It won't, but in time you will learn to flow with it, rather than tearing your hair out in despair. As you accept what this transit is trying to tell you, it will become easier - perhaps not easier, but less difficult.
IMO, your Pluto-Sun is a little too wide an orb to be considered a conjunct - some will disagree with me. Whether it is or isn't, the transiting Pluto square to your Sun is not easy. It shows you your own control issues through others - and other circumstances, which are out of your conscious control - being reflected to you. I'm going to be a cynic here and say that you are probably better off without that particular bf. He sounds like a fair weather guy, and not one who was in it through thick and thin. Still, the realisation that he is not what you thought/hoped is a difficult one to face.

Transiting Pluto is currently squaring your Sun-Pluto midpoint - which is that sensitive place where you really feel manipulation and control from external sources. As I said above, this transit - also being upset by tr Uranus opposing your Sun, as well as that Sun-Pluto midpoint - is tough, but it only ever happens once in a lifetime.
(One of my sons was born 5 days before you and he has Sun-Pluto only 2 degrees apart. I am finding him up and down like a yo-yo, and he is soooooo moody at present, plus, he has lost all his friends - all except about 2, and they are true friends, plus the mother of his child is being obstructive, evasive and passive-aggressive ........ typical experiences for this transit.)

You may find a solution to the physical problem once Saturn enters your 6th house. You might want to post your chart on the medical forum and just relate the physical issues, and see what comes up. There are some very skilled medical astrologers here.
However, you must know about the link between emotions and health. Also you have your Moon in the 12th, with a Moon-ruled chart. Your emotions are certainly closely linked to your health, as you are a sensitive individual.

I often find that people's user names give a lot of insight into how they see themselves. The name, Spacecadet, sounds very Neptunian to me, and with natal Neptune - in the 6th, too - opposing your 12th house Moon, you may have difficulty in perceiving situations and people clearly, and you have a tendency to idealise the people you care about. A Pluto-Sun square in transit can be a massive wake-up call (it was for me when I experienced it around the age of 40) and if you go with it - and don't completely lose the plot - your life will be much more manageable at the other end of the transit. Expect to experience some grief during this transit. There may be quite a lot of emotional clearing required.

For me, the key to this transit for you - or series of transits - is in this sentence:
"The sense of loss I feel is so deeply painful, coupled with the isolation of being so sick and without much support,I really dont know how I am going to cope."
The sense of loss is something you are having to experience. Perhaps you lost someone close to you prior to the age of 5. I suspect that a loss early in your life - father? grandfather? - is being acted out by your boyfriend leaving you. Just a hunch. If that is so, then the grieving is a necessary process to unburden you emotionally.
When you are in a situation where you have little support you have to rely on your own inner resources, and of you don't have much in the way of inner resources, then you have to develop them, or go under. To just sit this transit out is not an option!!!! This is probably the hardest - and yet most important - transit you will have to live through, and you are being told/shown something fundamentally important which you need to know. When you know what that is, then the rest of the transit will be much easier.

I just had a thought that for the illness - the timing of it - I should look to the 6th house cusp, which in your case is Sagittarius. Your natal Sagi is currently neing opposed by tr Saturn, so maybe that is significant in the mix of everything else you are having to cope with. Tr Saturn will bring you down with a thump. Saturn will bring you face to face with the realities of life.

But for the nature of the illness itself I suggest posting your chart in the medical astrology forum.

I'm so sorry. This website never tells me when I have received responses so I assume no-one replied. If anyone can tell me how to fix that I'd be grateful - I do always check instant notification....

Lin said:

YOu don't mention seeing an ear specialist or taking antibiotics or asking your doctor for his diagnosis and prognosis regarding how long this will take to heal.
So I need to know this part before going on to the social aspects.
LIN

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Lin - I have seen GPs, Ear Nose Throat consultant and hearing aid people in the shops. I'm waiting now for MRI scan results and to be reffered to audiologist and physiotherapist. Its all very slow in England on the NHS. I've taken antibiotics (but its not bacterial) and steroids so far - no help. Looks like I need hearing aids now as my hearing is so severely gone. The consultant is deliberating on the diagnosis as Labyrinthitus normally is resolved by now. He thinks it might be something called Meniere's, but I dont agree. Menieres is something that stays with you for life. Labyrinthitus, which my symptoms fit more closely, can take 'some people' a long time to recover form. The hearing damage can be permanent.

R4Ven - Thank you for your response. I found your words to be so understanding, empathic, insightful and reassuring. I will post in the medical forum also.

I'd be glad if my sun-pluto weren't conjunct. I normally work with 8 degrees. Truth is that I am intense and penetrating. People often will tell me that 'I'm intense', (which I find quite offensive because who's to say that should be deemed a negative characteristic for me to be that way?). anyway this is off-topic.

..."the transiting Pluto square to your Sun is not easy. It shows you your own control issues through others - and other circumstances, which are out of your conscious control - being reflected to you"

Yes. Suddenly my beautiful spiritual aware communicative boyfriend who I adored, seems to have turned into a rude, cold, rejecting, harsh, horrible man. He has become super controlling - wont let me speak with him and refuses to meet. He hasn't really spoken to me since he left. He ignores most of what I write to him and will only respond when he feels like it, and if its surface level small talk. Its crazy because if this is all my projection onto him, he's perfectly acting out the part. Or is it that how I view him, is how I am actually being myself? Is my lesson to try to notice all the ways I want to control and manipulate - and completely relinquish any need for anything to happen a certain way - to let go and surrender? Its difficult to comprehend how this all coordinates - the reality with the his and my projections and reflections.

I'm so sorry to hear how this has manifested for your son and interested to know his experiences. I don't know anyone born so close to me. That sounds pretty harsh.

Yes I think the Moon-Neptune could be a problem for me - idealising the ones I love. It seems that only years later I look back and think why on earth did I stay with them so long!? and I don't seem to see it when I'm with them. I think that can be an aspect of illness also.

Yes my father wasn't really around. These 'abandonment' issues come up in relationship so I do welcome opportunities to really move past it. Trouble is that life keeps replaying the same stories so its hard to change the expectation. My boyfriend knew very well this was an issue for me and it still didnt stop him walking out all of a sudden one day with no discussion! Yes I am sensitive and since my wounds can come up in intimate relationships, that is when my health tends to suffer. (maybe also a Nep 5th- Moon 12th thing)

Whats the wake up call of Pluto sq sun transit? what was you experience?

So the message is to grieve. Just allow it out, the present and the old grief. Gosh I feel I have done so much grieving in my life - doesn't the well ever run dry!? Actually Matt Khan says that when we process emotion, we are doing so on behalf of the collective, its not our own and that some people are better at tapping into it and so process a lot more on behalf of the others. Maybe we all take turns when we get transited.

Yes well spotted, Saturn is on the 6th house cusp. Maybe asking me to take responsibility and be more disciplined, maybe thats part of the solution. I've completely changed my diet and am doing many natural practices in a more disciplined way then ever before.

Thanks for your reply

spacecadet said:

I'd be glad if my sun-pluto weren't conjunct. I normally work with 8 degrees. Truth is that I am intense and penetrating. People often will tell me that 'I'm intense', (which I find quite offensive because who's to say that should be deemed a negative characteristic for me to be that way?).

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You also have Mars and Venus in Scorpio, either one of which - especially Mars - will render you intense.
(The son of whom I spoke has Sun-Pluto conj in Libra, Venus in Scorpio - all in 12th house - and Scorpio Asc. He is so intense that he continually attracts negative reactions from others. It has taken him years to adjust to this, and to accept that others will project their fears onto him. People tend to change when in his presence and that frightens them; it brings out a sense in them that they are not actually in control of their own lives.)

spacecadet said:

Its crazy because if this is all my projection onto him, he's perfectly acting out the part. Or is it that how I view him, is how I am actually being myself? Is my lesson to try to notice all the ways I want to control and manipulate - and completely relinquish any need for anything to happen a certain way - to let go and surrender? Its difficult to comprehend how this all coordinates - the reality with the his and my projections and reflections.

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Clarity will come slowly - generally after the transit is over, and things begin to settle for you. It is possibly all of the above.

spacecadet said:

Yes I think the Moon-Neptune could be a problem for me - idealising the ones I love. It seems that only years later I look back and think why on earth did I stay with them so long!? and I don't seem to see it when I'm with them. I think that can be an aspect of illness also.

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That's Neptune alright (and I know all about that, too). I know from personal experience that staying in friendships/relationships beyond the use-by date can be very damaging to health, as your true feelings and suspicions get pushed into your body, where they begin to do their damage at a cellular level.

spacecadet said:

Whats the wake up call of Pluto sq sun transit? what was you experience?

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You summed it up earlier:
"Is my lesson to try to notice all the ways I want to control and manipulate - and completely relinquish any need for anything to happen a certain way - to let go and surrender?"
You have used the words, relinquish and surrender, and I would call them the key words to a Pluto-Sun harsh transit.
During my Pluto-Sun square I had a lot of changes occur in my life, many of them positive. I began a post-graduate course which I'd wanted to do for a decade, but hadn't had the opportunity. I moved into more stable and affordable housing with my two sons. My father died - not good, but welcome, as he wouldn't have wanted to be sick; he'd always been active and involved in life. The down side was that my oldest son - then around 14 - was out of control. My efforts to control him made him worse, and I hadn't thought it was possible for him to be worse. The relief for me came when I simply let go of the need for him to become a decent citizen. I simply stepped back and allowed him to make poor decisions. It was the best thing I ever did. He took a long time to sort himself out, but he is now a decent man, and although not terribly functional, he's off the drugs, and takes responsibility for his own choices - something everyone needs to do. It wasn't until after all the drama had abated that I was able to see that with clarity (and with a close conjunct between Mars and Neptune, I am also very Neptunian, and prone to seeing what I want to see, rather than what is really there.)

spacecadet said:

So the message is to grieve. Just allow it out, the present and the old grief. Gosh I feel I have done so much grieving in my life - doesn't the well ever run dry!? Actually Matt Khan says that when we process emotion, we are doing so on behalf of the collective, its not our own and that some people are better at tapping into it and so process a lot more on behalf of the others. Maybe we all take turns when we get transited.

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That is a very wise observation you have made there. As a sensitive person, and especially with your Moon in the 12th house, you will pick up the unacknowledged feelings/fears/emotions of others, and these must be released, so yes, grieving seems to be what a lot of people are doing at present. I felt that during my own Pluto-Sun square I was terribly angry, but then, so was my son.

spacecadet said:

Yes well spotted, Saturn is on the 6th house cusp. Maybe asking me to take responsibility and be more disciplined, maybe thats part of the solution. I've completely changed my diet and am doing many natural practices in a more disciplined way then ever before.

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Dietary change is a really good natural and manageable strategy. You can't go wrong there.

While replying to your post, I have been thinking on your boyfriend's behaviour towards you. It is possible that he was in your life just to present this turnaround at this time. Whether he changes back to himself and comes back is hard to say. I was married to a man who, the longer we lived together the more he became like my father - his attitude towards women, money, and our general roles in the relationship. In the end I had to leave. He is now married again, and I have seen him with his wife and he is a completely different person. He is supportive of her, and even protective, something he never was with me. It could be him maturing, but I have my doubts. I think it's further evidence of how our partners become the very person we need - even if it's not what we want.
Food for thought there.
And I'm sorry this reply is so long. I wish you well, especially in getting some positive help with your health condition.

There's just another thing I noticed (much later) while looking at your natal chart. You have planets conjunct each of the north and south nodes. That is worth paying attention to, because it is saying something about your life path.

http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Planets conjunct the Nodes

With Chiron conjunct your south node, you have been incarnated with healing abilities from other incarnations. Now, that may not be the kinds of healing with which we are familiar in current times. There may be (as there is with my son, who has the same Chiron-South node in Taurus conjunction) an unconscious, even unintended ability to bring healing to others.

More interesting, however, especially given your current life circumstances, is that Chiron on the south node frequently demands that a person develop some kind of illness/condition, and to work through that in order to reconnect with the skills from a previous lifetime.
Also, with Mars in Scorpio on your north node, you will be asked to develop and use that Mars in Scorpio energy from the age of 40 or so.

spacecadet,

I know its been nearly a couple weeks since you first posted and you have gotten some replies (I have not read them), but I think it will be necessary to dispel some notions regarding your chart before any coherent advice can be given. Your chart is not what you think it is: the Asc is considerably off. Thus, the transits you've mentioned are not active in quite the way you described, although Uranus and Pluto are certainly active in your chart.

I will wait for you to express interest before I spend time going into this in-depth. You can reply here or message me.

Thank you for your replies R4ven. I'm digesting what you've said here and will try to remember when it gets tough. I feels you've really understood what I'm going through and that helps.

How sad to see your partner become the partner you wanted him to be with someone else. But then we can't see other peoples relationships form the outside. I'm not sure people change that much.

I will look into the nodes more also. I'd love to find that special healing ability I've been seekingit all my life but not quite got there. Trained in so many modalitites but dont feel that Imastered or fit with any of them. I'm thinking when neptune hits my MC maybe my healer/therapy practice journey will properly start. - well if I'm ill much longer I will lose my job, and therapy is the only other thing I know.
As for the Mars Uranus North node ... I was thinking maybe sex therapy?! or anger management what do you think?

Unfortunately someone on the medical forum has just said I 'shouldnt expect to get better in less than 2 years' which isn't exactly the type of information that I was hoping to hear or looking for (or is very useful given the mind-body connection!) but that is just one interpretation, I'll wait for more. Surely someone has a more positive perspective!

x

Kannon, yes please expand on your thinking. Here is my chart from astro, it shows my descendant as 19 degrees instead of 15 on solar fire. But the house cusps are pretty changeable depending on house systems used aren't they and evidence in my life seems to suggest that Pluto is at least in close orb of my desc.

Anyway let me know your thoughts. Birth time 10:35pm

When I can get enough time to focus on this I will describe things in detail, hopefully in the next day or two.

In the meantime, you may find this article 'Uranus & Pluto in personal growth' of interest:
https://kannonmcafee.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/uranus-pluto-in-personal-growth/

spacecadet,

Your chart shows me that this is a time of transformation in which the service you engage in is being molded by what you are going through. I know this is a tough time, but it is a reordering for better things to come. Those better things relates to service more materially directed by what you are going through with your own health. You have studied naturopathy. Now you will study it further.

Consider this an intimate meeting with destiny.

Let your boyfriend leave on his terms without judgment and without grasping at him to communicate with you. This is not about him. Its about you.

I also suggest you trace back over the last 2-4 months and consider what you heard that you could not seem to accept; I don't want to overplay the possibility of a metaphoric/somatic illness, but it is definitely worth taking the time to carefully consider. In any case, this is not an attempt at pseudo-Freudian diagnosis or depth psychology, but the astrological factors indicate this is a worthwhile endeavor on your end.

I suggest that the best orientation for the time being is to tune into your inner voice and allow what is drowning out the external world to continue doing so. The momentary loss of balance is not a basis for anything but regaining (gradually) a wholly new balance that will serve you in your altered future orientation.

Very often when we have such a drastic change in life orientation it comes in the form of a difficulty we would never ask for. It can be nearly as upsetting to those nearest us as it to us, but from their point of view they have a couple options (a) give us the space to work it out, and (b) stick around and possibly distract us from the difficult and very personal task before us. It is in times like these when we may most feel we need close support that our relationship with our own spiritual potential is more important and will not allow the distraction of an outer human relationship that might be later resumed -- or be replaced by a more appropriate one.

In mid-June you will get some relief due to Saturn's movement in declination (towards the celestial equator and away from the parallel to your natal Moon). This will be a time in which increased focus on your body and health issues, while seemingly a burden, can reap greater rewards. That relief will be over in September.

This same Saturn transit will make it difficult if not impossible to do any relational repairs. Instead focus on yourself and on the health task at hand. Don't try to outsmart the astrological factors at work because it will only leave you more frustrated and with less to show for your efforts. This is a time in which working on your health issue will set the table for future benefits to yourself and others that you cannot possibly feel now, although you could imagine and accept in the abstract on faith.

The most difficultly will be passed by the end of the year. So don't despair over transits that look as if they will last for several years.

You will notice that the only astrological factors that I have mentioned here is Saturn's transit. That is because there are numerous astrological factors involved during this complex time and I don't want to overload this post with unnecessary details. I can present those once you feel you've absorbed the main message of my synthesized interpretation.

Know that this is a moment for transmutation of a negative -- into a positive -- not just for yourself, but for possibly countless others. As far as I can tell these troublesome events in your life are not only appropriate, but right on time.

Dear Spacecadet,

Fellow Londoner, here. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through. About yout ear, there is a type of pressure therapy where you sit in a closed incubator of sorts for a few hours. I know an elderly aunt abroad had it done when she lost her hearing in one ear following infection and the hearing came back. I am unsure if it is a service offered on the NHS but I await to hear the name of the therapy from her and will let you know. Maybe it is offered privately.

Astrological lore tells us everything has a shelf life. Things must die to make room for new growth. True love, however, never dies but the independent individuals have to experience transformation of their own in order to grow. When the time is right, you and your boyfriend will speak again. We cannot control those processes which are out of our hands but we can trust the process; to have hope in something greater than what we thought it could be. With Pluto, it helps to surrender to this idea. In return, you will rise above it and become greater than you were before.

I took the liberty to consult the tarot for you. I got the Ace of Wands.

Transits (and natal) are part of the natural world and outside of human control. Astrology, used as a human tool, implies we have the right to label some aspects positive and some aspects negative. In truth the so-called positives seem only that way because we recognise them as a gift, like a hug from the universe. The negatives are no different, however. They are gifts from the bounty, too. They seem negative to humans because it is the nature of humans, not the nature of the aspect, to be controlling and lazy to grow. As a result humans exhibit negative states during these times. Whatever the present looks like, there is always more to the story to restore the balance. For however much we see, there is more that we do not see. There is so much in the present (pun intended). Let go (of the old) and grow. ♥