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  #1  
Unread 05-19-2019, 04:32 AM
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12th sun ego

Hi all,

I'm well aware that 12th house sun people are often caring and giving empaths. And many of us have wounding with our father.

I'm curious though if anyone else with this placement feels that they are unaware of how big their ego is?

Like for me, the last week I've been thinking about a friendship I let go of 8 yrs ago. It was a petty fight really. Looking back I feel as though I was selfish, self absorbed, possessive and egotistic. At the time I was going through so much drama I felt I was the victim in this friendship. But now that I'm reflecting I can see it was all me me me.

So I'm curious if anyone else has felt that being a 12th sun makes them unaware of their ego

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Unread 05-19-2019, 05:11 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

There are different interpretations of the 12th house, but one is that it contains things about ourselves that we are unaware of, even if they're obvious to everyone else.
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Unread 05-19-2019, 05:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
There are different interpretations of the 12th house, but one is that it contains things about ourselves that we are unaware of, even if they're obvious to everyone else.
Well this is how I feel right now. Looking back to 2010 and 2011 I was so vain. Yet at the time I was thinking 'why arnt they there for me?'

I just did some work on strengthening myself as a whole person and by doing this I realised it's not up to other ppl to be 'there for me.' it's my work to deal with. If I'm strong as a whole, I won't turn to others to save me
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Unread 05-19-2019, 07:44 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

I have the sun in the 12th, and I have no problem admitting or seeing that I have a healthy dose of ego.
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Unread 05-20-2019, 03:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conspiracy theorist View Post
I have the sun in the 12th, and I have no problem admitting or seeing that I have a healthy dose of ego.
When did your sun cross the ascendant? What age? Did U see a difference?
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Unread 05-20-2019, 05:14 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

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Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
When did your sun cross the ascendant? What age? Did U see a difference?
Depends on what you mean by difference. The Sun is 21 degrees away from my ascendant. At that age, I was going through a recent breakup, the death of my grandmother and reconciliation with a parent after coming to the conclusion that I need to suck it up and do what I can in the last days of my grandparent's life. There are more important things in life than my anger. I also took a deeper plunge into the occult that year.

Sun is conjunct Pluto in my chart and has rulership in the 8th house, and solar arc pluto was in conjunction with my chart ruler in the same year. Lot's of opportunity to come to grips with death and endings, some decisions were made about how I approach life, and a lot of growing up ensued. Amidst the storm (I'd even say because of it) I found a center that I could really orient my life around.

More specifically, I have placements that show healthy ego despite 12th house placements. A lot of fire and an angular Mars/Jupiter conjunction to name a few.
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Unread 05-20-2019, 06:51 AM
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I know what you mean about sucking it up.

My sun is about to conjunct ascendant and after everything I've learnt I'm finally ready to embrace that sun. I never knew how important the sun was until now. And I'm looking back thinking geez, I really whinged and whined. If only I could have seen how pathetic I looked at the time. Even though back then I was reaching out to help and have now found help, i thinK talking to friends about it is a no go. Even my mum's sick of it. I'm sure everyone on this forum is sick of it too. But I talk about these uncomfortable issues so I can learn.
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Unread 06-08-2019, 10:58 AM
seethesun seethesun is offline
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Re: 12th sun ego

i have a sun on 9 degrees 17 minutes scorpio and my AC starts on 9 degrees 53 minutes scorpio. so my sun is basically in twelfth house.
I feel shy, I feel like a peaceful person but I also feel that I'm only looking for myself and think about my needs.
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Unread 06-09-2019, 03:48 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

Could it be problems with other emotional placements like Moon and Venus? The Sun to me is more like a company CEO who tries his best to create good impression for customers, and Moon is the employee doing the actual work. You see companies with sparky ads and sh!t service all the time right?


In the case of a friendship, Moon and Venus would do more work than the Sun. Maybe you felt victimized because your Moon wasn't satisfied, or your Venus wasn't valued. Have you done synastry chart for you and your friend? Maybe there was some incompability among the personal planets?
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Unread 07-01-2019, 07:10 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

I dont have 12th house sun, but my SN is in Leo 12th house and sun in 5th house in Cap conjunct stellium including Neptune, so I partially feel it. I could say, I'm more caring and empathic than an average Capricorn and partly I shame it and feel my "good nature" taken advantage of easily, but I try accepting that as a part of being whole.. because I can be rude, vindictive and probably slightly abusive too when pushed too much.


As a youngster I also felt easily victimised, was more concerned of my behavior and ego being what's culturally acceptable (or otherwise suffer from persecution?) than being real (and suffer from disapproval and abandonment). And I absorbed archetypes from media easier everytime I felt lost or victimised with my own ego... And at my worst I worried tons if I were narcissist everytime I was even a bit selfish instead of "good and giving". Balancing that selfishness and selflessness is really important imho.



One can't help others in healthy way if they aren't able to help themselves first.
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Unread 07-03-2019, 11:36 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrankyCap View Post
I dont have 12th house sun, but my SN is in Leo 12th house and sun in 5th house in Cap conjunct stellium including Neptune, so I partially feel it. I could say, I'm more caring and empathic than an average Capricorn and partly I shame it and feel my "good nature" taken advantage of easily, but I try accepting that as a part of being whole.. because I can be rude, vindictive and probably slightly abusive too when pushed too much.


As a youngster I also felt easily victimised, was more concerned of my behavior and ego being what's culturally acceptable (or otherwise suffer from persecution?) than being real (and suffer from disapproval and abandonment). And I absorbed archetypes from media easier everytime I felt lost or victimised with my own ego... And at my worst I worried tons if I were narcissist everytime I was even a bit selfish instead of "good and giving". Balancing that selfishness and selflessness is really important imho.



One can't help others in healthy way if they aren't able to help themselves first.
That is indeed a tricky combination. And yes, i agree that you cant help others if you can't help yourself. My sun is progressing over my asc now and i must say im at i point in life where i have the attitude - why the f should i help ppl? What did it ever bring? It only attracted users and abusers.
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Unread 07-03-2019, 05:51 PM
CrankyCap CrankyCap is offline
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Re: 12th sun ego

That's a question which you'll eventually find answers for yourself. We all are motivated by something and strive for something, even the most selfless and empathic people do. What do you want from your life and how would you want to get it?
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Unread 07-03-2019, 06:27 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

You discovered something very important...How Ego impedes growth.

We take insignificant things, say "How dare that person say That about ME...the Center of the Universe!" Then we create a whole soap opera, and never realize that ME is the center of all my problems.
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Unread 07-03-2019, 09:27 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

Quote:
Originally Posted by seethesun View Post
i have a sun on 9 degrees 17 minutes scorpio and my AC starts on 9 degrees 53 minutes scorpio. so my sun is basically in twelfth house.
I feel shy, I feel like a peaceful person but I also feel that I'm only looking for myself and think about my needs.
If your Sun conjuncts your ascendant by such a tight degree (less than 1), most astrologers consider it to be in your first house.
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Unread 07-03-2019, 11:15 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

Hi Abbey-- having your sun progress over your ascendant and into your first house should give you a lot more confidence and a stronger sense of self. This doesn't necessarily mean cursing out your in-laws, but I think you will be taking less (she puts this politely) horse manure from them.
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I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

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Unread 07-04-2019, 11:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
Hi Abbey-- having your sun progress over your ascendant and into your first house should give you a lot more confidence and a stronger sense of self. This doesn't necessarily mean cursing out your in-laws, but I think you will be taking less (she puts this politely) horse manure from them.
This is true. A few changes are happening slowly. As for the in laws. Someone I talked to pointed out I have no control over the situation. They have the full control cos I'm damned no matter what direction I go. So I decided the only thing I can do is change my mindset when I'm there. To keep telling myself that they're silly and I think little of them and I'm only there for the kids as their mother. That I need to let go and focus on my own light (visually) whilst in their presence. Affirmations. And, the best one of all, make a little fun of them. Eg: they love opposing me and deliberately sabotaging all that I have and do, so I've decided to play a bit and tell them the wrong info to throw them off. A little bit of BS so they can't harm me if that makes sense. So they always use my alcohol allergy as a reason to outcast me everytime I see them. So now when they ask me if I Wana drink, knowing I'm allergic, I say hell yeah. Then they act confused and try to get honesty out of the conversation but they won't get it from me cos I won't let them abuse me. Get it?

In other areas, I'm finally seeing a specialist in a month about my hormones and weight. You know I've posted a few times with my odd weight issues. I have the feeling that this time I'll get the genetic hereditary info I need and advice to help me be healthy with vitality.

Oh, and my children's book is finally coming to completion and I found a publisher ☺️.

Last edited by Abby83; 07-04-2019 at 11:48 AM.
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Unread 07-04-2019, 11:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greybeard View Post
You discovered something very important...How Ego impedes growth.

We take insignificant things, say "How dare that person say That about ME...the Center of the Universe!" Then we create a whole soap opera, and never realize that ME is the center of all my problems.
I've discovered the difference between ego and loving yourself. Ego is all about the attention U get from others, how much they love U and recognition. Everyone has those needs. Mine were higher. But loving yourself is about what you do for yourself to look after yourself and nurture your needs in all spheres. So giving it to yourself. Interesting how when someone has a big ego others tend to say they love themselves, but that's not the case at all. They're in fact looking elsewhere for love.
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Unread 07-06-2019, 03:29 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

Abby, it sounds like you're making progress.

In today's more sobriety conscious society, it shocks me that anyone would wish to force alcohol on someone who shouldn't drink it.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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Unread 07-06-2019, 05:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
Abby, it sounds like you're making progress.

In today's more sobriety conscious society, it shocks me that anyone would wish to force alcohol on someone who shouldn't drink it.
It's called a psychopath with narcissistic personality disorder. Not everyone in society has a properly developed brain. There will always be lots of ppl with this condition who have an abnormal need for full control and have fear of anything foreign. One can only find ways to deal with it cos those ppl can't be changed.
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Unread 07-07-2019, 03:53 PM
CrankyCap CrankyCap is offline
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Re: 12th sun ego

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
I've discovered the difference between ego and loving yourself. Ego is all about the attention U get from others, how much they love U and recognition. Everyone has those needs. Mine were higher. But loving yourself is about what you do for yourself to look after yourself and nurture your needs in all spheres. So giving it to yourself. Interesting how when someone has a big ego others tend to say they love themselves, but that's not the case at all. They're in fact looking elsewhere for love.
Without loving yourself first you can't love others. Still we live in society where most people gotta learn it the hard way. But seeking love and acceptance from others isn't always a mark of narcissism - it could be if they can't love themselves even if nobody else did. Ego is also your own light. In reactive mode, it's what everyone else is giving to you, attention, gifts, your reputation etc. In proactive mode it's how you see yourself regardless of what others say, feel, think or do.



On seeking external validation for love etc: I used to rely on myself for love. In my younghood I went through hard times, sometimes I had mentality like "if I don't look out for myself, nobody else will, I won't survive if I rely on others" etc etc. Self-love came quite naturally but I was also insecure around others due to being bullied a lot. Still, there were times when I even started hating myself. It felt like "the love is just within my own introvert bubble but it's not manifesting in the material world outside that bubble... what's wrong with my interaction with everyone else? Why aren't they treating me well?". I tried to treat people well unless they were jerks and wished that people would mirror it back.. even one or two.. anyone. I still haven't figured out what was wrong, questioned a lot whether I'm narcissist or not until actually meeting someone very self-centered and callous. In public they were always soft-spoken etc, but one-on-one it was different. I gave them too many chances due to doubting whether I was the intolerant jerk if I didnt... eventually cut them off tho.



12th house Sun can be both however, as Neptune rules both empathy and deceit, spirituality and delusions, boundlessness and institutions (prisons, monastries, asylums). An empathic person who struggles with boundaries or a sociopath who deceives and violates boundaries of others. The person was Pisces Sun but rest of their chart had no water at all. Earth and Fire were their dominants, Jupiter dominant also.

Last edited by CrankyCap; 07-07-2019 at 04:03 PM.
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Unread 07-07-2019, 11:10 PM
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It is true that trying to get others to notice you or love U is a sign U never got it yourself. But it doesn't make U a narcissist. Ppl with narcissistic personality disorder deliberately abuse. They learnt certain abusive behaviours as a child and growing up with no blocks to it. Also either rejecting or being brought up in a family that rejects empathic nurturing qualities because it is seen as weak. So narcs make fun of honest empaths. They think they're stupid for not protecting themselves cos they grew up having to take the narc route.
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