How would he take it?

[Crystaltribe]

Ok a very personal situation for me. But it’s really effecting my health and I’m unsure on what to do.

Background, myself and my partner of nearly 6 year’s have gone through quite a lot as a couple (I know a lot do) but it’s been incredibly emotional and we are only just within the last 6 months actually are ok and doing better.

However I have very strong feelings for a close mutual friend of ours, I do not plan on doing anything about it. I thought I did last year but I put it down to the stress in our relationship and that our friend was just a good support and it was likely it was caused by this. My partner found out about it but we got through it and things got a lot better . I deeply care about and love my partner and I know he does me.

But I’m starting to realise it is not going away. I’m not able to eat properly, I haven’t done for months. I feel sick to my stomach so many times a week due to anxiety about my relationship and our friend, I can’t stop thinking about it all.

I know with absolute certainty that my friend is very fond of me (it’s cause issues with his gfs even when I’m not doing anything to cause that myself).

I know horary doesn’t solve anything and I should probably have some sort of therapy but my question is

How will he react if I tell him about my feelings and what I feel about our friend?

I’m Saturn, I’m about to go direct I think? In my own house so I’m ok to speak?

My partner is moon and I’m taking Jup as our friend..

Moon my partner is heading towards Neptune in his 8th, he’s in the sign ruled by Jupiter. He will make an aspect to Jupiter and then me.

I’m heading towards Jupiter, Jupiter is in fall, so not in great shape.

As for feelings I can only imagine that with me being in my own house that I’m not going to be worse off talking about it?

I’m unsure how to read his feelings. With him being in his 8th he will feel a loss and stress? Conj Neptune he will feel confused about the friendship with our mutual friend?

I’m not looking to even talk to the friend about it. I know I should talk to my partner, just scared I guess.

Thank you for your time 😊

[url=https://ibb.co/QJDJ171][/url

[ElenaJ]

Your 3rd house of communications is ruled by mars, with mars sitting there, strong in its sign, just about square to you Saturn. Not good for communicating.
Jupiter rules your 12th of self undoing, on ascendent. Careful!

[nadiaaa]

moon is making a trine around mercury which means a bad decision! pls be very careful

[ElenaJ]

Ask yourself why you even want to tell him? What would this accomplish?

[Bunraku]

Your friend is 11, Jupiter. He also rules the 12, of self undoing. Interesting how he rules both.
It is true your friend is very fond of you. Are you going to get together with him?

[Crystaltribe]

I‘ve decided I’m not going to tell him. It was just really stressing me at the time. I think I need to work out more if I want the relationship rather than cause him unnecessary upset.

He is very fond of me, puppy dog eyes and everything. I don’t know, I couldn’t imagine it happening as it would destroy all friendships. To be honest I’m quite scared of having another relationship. It’s been a very emotional connection between myself and my partner.

Thank you all for your help

[IleneK]

Your mutual friend/Jup thinks the world of your partner/Moon, since Jup exalts Pisces. Your partner does not reciprocate towards his friend, receiving Jup poorly by detriment. So things are fragile there between them, as Moon applies to sextile Jup. Sextile also points to favorable opportunity for them to come together.
Additionally, your friend is also in a very poor way, in detriment, while still remaining your close friend being in your/1st house.

Meanwhile you are really strong and in your own house; so this question you raise about telling your partner appears to be mostly about you, rather than for your partner's or friend's benefit.
I think it is important to go ahead and feel poorly [as a result of you/Saturn applying to a challenging painful square and with also adverse reception with Mars in Aries] while you process this matter for yourself, your partner, and your friend. Please be very kind and compassionate to yourself in your pain and discomfort while being a container, holding the pain until it leaves of its own accord. It will when the time is right and in the meantime you can learn from what has ensued. I had to do the same long ago and it is difficult, but in the end with patience, perseverance and commitment to the well being of all, you will gain much from it.
I am sorry for the difficulties you are experiencing and truly wish you well.

[Crystaltribe]

Thank you.


Their fragile relationship is from my partner having always suspected our friend of having strong feelings for me and that if we broke up he would make a move towards me.


This is for me yes, I’m honestly in such a confusing place. Our friend has told me he loves me (I brushed it off) and I feel like he’s waiting for myself and my partner to break up. He does think of his friend, they’ve known each other for over 15 years. I haven’t told either of them how I truly feel and it’s completely eating me up. I still won’t say anything though, I don’t want to destroy a long friendship and then potentially break up my family.

Originally Posted by IleneK

Your mutual friend/Jup thinks the world of your partner/Moon, since Jup exalts Pisces. Your partner does not reciprocate towards his friend, receiving Jup poorly by detriment. So things are fragile there between them, as Moon applies to sextile Jup. Sextile also points to favorable opportunity for them to come together.
Additionally, your friend is also in a very poor way, in detriment, while still remaining your close friend being in your/1st house.

Meanwhile you are really strong and in your own house; so this question you raise about telling your partner appears to be mostly about you, rather than for your partner's or friend's benefit.
I think it is important to go ahead and feel poorly [as a result of you/Saturn applying to a challenging painful square and with also adverse reception with Mars in Aries] while you process this matter for yourself, your partner, and your friend. Please be very kind and compassionate to yourself in your pain and discomfort while being a container, holding the pain until it leaves of its own accord. It will when the time is right and in the meantime you can learn from what has ensued. I had to do the same long ago and it is difficult, but in the end with patience, perseverance and commitment to the well being of all, you will gain much from it.
I am sorry for the difficulties you are experiencing and truly wish you well.

[katydid]

I look at you, Saturn, and him, the Moon, and I have to ask—WHY would you want to share this hurtful information with your partner?

You are Saturn in Cap, forming a semi-square to your boyfriend, the Moon in Pisces in the 2nd. You are in a powerful position which can be very detrimental and damaging towards your vulnerable partner.

I don’t see any positive outcome, other than you ‘briefly’ feeling less guilty. But the damage will be permanent if you are not very careful with this information.

Your partner is in a very vulnerable emotional place [ Semi-square to moon/pisces] and it negatively affects his self worth at this time. [2nd house of stability and financial/physical self worth]

Moon conjunct Neptune in Pisces os relying upon Unconditional Love to help him get back on his feet after some difficulties. Hearing the news that you want to share with him will likely be emotionally devastating at this time.

The upcoming aspects to the Moon are sextile to Jupiter/Asc and conjunction to Neptune. His reactions could lead him to the Jupiter sextile , which might be to reach out to a counsellor or pastor for help through this crisis…but 2 months later the conjunction to Neptune could be more difficult, if he reaches out to drugs or alcohol instead?

[Bunraku]

I think it might be called having an emotional affair:
https://www.verywellmind.com/emotion...delity-2303091

I think it’s a good read, because it shows you how you the dynamics of it, if it applies to your situation that is.

[Crystaltribe]

I considered it because of how unwell it was making me, is making me.

My partner has been verbally and emotionally abusive numerous times throughout our near 6 year relationship. Things have improved massively (we worked on it together) he isn’t like it anymore. I started to notice more feelings for our mutual friend, he has been present when my partner has been like this towards me and has been supportive. He has never over stepped as a friend though.

My partner would not reach out to anyone, he is the most Scorpio person you’ll ever meet (scorp sun, merc, rising).

I haven’t purposely set out to have feelings for someone, I don’t talk about it to anyone. I asked horary to help me see if I’m being an idiot for being open with him. I guess I can’t be. I won’t. I just need to spend time figuring out if I want the relationship.

Originally Posted by katydid

I look at you, Saturn, and him, the Moon, and I have to ask—WHY would you want to share this hurtful information with your partner?

You are Saturn in Cap, forming a semi-square to your boyfriend, the Moon in Pisces in the 2nd. You are in a powerful position which can be very detrimental and damaging towards your vulnerable partner.

I don’t see any positive outcome, other than you ‘briefly’ feeling less guilty. But the damage will be permanent if you are not very careful with this information.

Your partner is in a very vulnerable emotional place [ Semi-square to moon/pisces] and it negatively affects his self worth at this time. [2nd house of stability and financial/physical self worth]

Moon conjunct Neptune in Pisces os relying upon Unconditional Love to help him get back on his feet after some difficulties. Hearing the news that you want to share with him will likely be emotionally devastating at this time.

The upcoming aspects to the Moon are sextile to Jupiter/Asc and conjunction to Neptune. His reactions could lead him to the Jupiter sextile , which might be to reach out to a counsellor or pastor for help through this crisis…but 2 months later the conjunction to Neptune could be more difficult, if he reaches out to drugs or alcohol instead?

[katydid]

Originally Posted by Crystaltribe

I considered it because of how unwell it was making me, is making me.

My partner has been verbally and emotionally abusive numerous times throughout our near 6 year relationship. Things have improved massively (we worked on it together) he isn’t like it anymore. I started to notice more feelings for our mutual friend, he has been present when my partner has been like this towards me and has been supportive. He has never over stepped as a friend though.

My partner would not reach out to anyone, he is the most Scorpio person you’ll ever meet (scorp sun, merc, rising).

I haven’t purposely set out to have feelings for someone, I don’t talk about it to anyone. I asked horary to help me see if I’m being an idiot for being open with him. I guess I can’t be. I won’t. I just need to spend time figuring out if I want the relationship.

Thank you for the clarification.

Here is another question then....is it possible that an underlying or subconscious reason, for wanting to share this info with your strongly scorpio bf, is that it might help you in ending the difficult relationship?

I don't mean it in a bad or accusatory way....just wondering if it has a deeper meaning than just the need to share it with him.

If so, it's not a bad idea.

I interpreted that Jupiter sextile to your boyfriend, from his turned 7th, as him reaching out to a counsellor. But knowing that he is strongly Scorpio, I might reinterpret that as him reaching out for emotional support from another opportunity. Jupiter is the lord of his 5th, so it could be an emotional affair for him that he would reach out for?

I agree with you that you need to decide if you wasn't to stay in this relationship any longer. Do you have children together?

[Crystaltribe]

That’s ok.

I doubt he’d even do that tbf, he can be quite anti women (all users etc, but it’s a defence mechanism), he will likely ignore women a quite awhile after, he isn’t one for ‘needing’ anyone. I actually feel he’s applying to his friend, he would get over it and remain friends with him, my partner isn’t much of a person who has ownership, even with his strong Scorpio influences.

I’ve seen our relationship as very much a huge growing experience for me (and him) it’s brought up a lot of my childhood wounds for sure.

I’m not sure if the deeper meaning is to end it, I really don’t think it would anyway tbh, I’m certain he would do anything keep me.

I was more fearful of his initial reaction, which in itself is pretty much a warning flag for our relationship. I have a child with him and he’s helped me raise my 4 others. So it’s not a straightforward situation at all.

Originally Posted by katydid

Thank you for the clarification.

Here is another question then....is it possible that an underlying or subconscious reason, for wanting to share this info with your strongly scorpio bf, is that it might help you in ending the difficult relationship?

I don't mean it in a bad or accusatory way....just wondering if it has a deeper meaning than just the need to share it with him.

If so, it's not a bad idea.

I interpreted that Jupiter sextile to your boyfriend, from his turned 7th, as him reaching out to a counsellor. But knowing that he is strongly Scorpio, I might reinterpret that as him reaching out for emotional support from another opportunity. Jupiter is the lord of his 5th, so it could be an emotional affair for him that he would reach out for?

I agree with you that you need to decide if you wasn't to stay in this relationship any longer. Do you have children together?

[ElenaJ]

Remember that 7 years is the "itch" and crisis year of any relationship.

Have you looked at synastry with your partner and with his friend? It might give more insight into the relationship.

[Crystaltribe]

Yes I understand the 7 year itch, I had it with my last partner of 9/10 years and that was a pretty awful relationship.

I’ll take a look at their synastry.


Thank you

Originally Posted by ElenaJ

Remember that 7 years is the "itch" and crisis year of any relationship.

Have you looked at synastry with your partner and with his friend? It might give more insight into the relationship.