Creative block and confusing people

Hey there,
Judging by my last post Im thinking maybe I should ask more specific questions about my birthchart. I want everyone to know that Im not looking for a free reading. sigh. I really do want to learn how to interpret these things for myself thats what my first post was about. Anyway, for a long time Ive had a HUGE creative block. When I was younger (child-teenage years) I used to play guitar, write, draw all those creative things. Now I feel afraid of all those things. my guitars make me nervous. I critcize everything I write. I wont pick up creative writing/drawing assignments at school (or just wont do them) because Im so afraid that they arent any good. I thought my sun sign ruled over my creativity but I feel like maybe there is an aspect blocking it? or maybe Im only creative in the 9th house which is where my Sun falls. Its confusing because Im a pisces and I thought they were supposed to be creative anyway.

The other thing is.. in life outside the net and on the net I always feel like I confuse people and noone really understands me.. I always feel like Im speaking another language. Like a forgotten language. Could that be because I dont seem to have anything in the 3rd house (the house of communication)? and because my mercury (the planet of communication) is moving in retrograde? and since it is in the 9th house with my sun does that mean Im only able to communicate well in the things that 9th house rules over? I hope someone will reply and interact with me because Im dying to learn whats going on and these two things are only the tip of the iceberg for whats really bothering me... sigh.

~Cynthia

wow nevermind my mercury isnt actually in retrograde at all.. my venus saturn and pluto are.. thats sad because I figured that would be a great explanation. my mercury is actually unaspected.. but I dont know if thats the problem or not. See.. Im already confusing you guys and you probably havent even read it yet. I should shut up. ha.

~Cynthia

With venus and mercury in Aries conjunct MC there is an immediate need to communicate in a direct almost blunt outspoken way and fortunately both these planets are well aspected to Uranus by trines (easy flowing, natural manner)

The house of creativity would be 5th house and here you have saturn and uranus. This is also the house of romance, children, self employment etc. Now wherever saturn is placed is where we lack confidence, feel heavy duties responsibilities and by way of compensation tend to work hard. Uranus wants excitement freedom and independence and wants to do something unusual (uranus) to feel the emotional (moon square) intuitive nature...

Venus‑MC Conjunction
A need for secure relationships and for beauty and harmony plays an important part in our striving for social position. ­Consequently we can do outstandingly well in Venusian occupations involving art, clothing, cosmetics, beauty culture, fashion etc. With Venus at the top of the chart we make a friendly, sociable impression; also we shrink from quarrelling and prefer to settle disputes diplomatically. Other things being equal, we can make fine arbitrators or ambassadors.

Nevertheless with rather easy‑going Venus at this place, we need to avoid the trap of taking things too easily where social ­position is concerned or of relying too much on our backers. Laziness and passivity can spoil the promise of easy success.

Mercury‑MC Conjunction
When the need to communicate, and to isolate and arrange facts, coincides with the astrological point representing the attitude to society and the self (MC), the individual shall have an ­ever‑shifting conception of the self and of social position, especially in the sphere of contacts and intellectual interests. The result can be many different activities, either at the same time or one after the other, or much change within a single sphere of activity. This is closely connected with a rather unstable self‑image.

Often this person is good at putting thoughts into words and conveying ideas, and would make a good teacher and/or a keen business person. He or she can easily earn a living in some Mercurial activity, as anything from a reporter to a librarian, from a representative or merchant to an instructor ‑ but he or she must have plenty of variety and personal contacts.

With this conjunction the person is very restless, sometimes nervy, and is inclined to try and reason things out objectively, even when this is not the best method to pursue in a given ­situation.

From the book ‘Aspects and Personality’ by Karen Hamaker-Zondag

Hope this helps

interpreting for yourself, to Cynthia

Cynthia,

You said:

EvieCottrell said:

I really do want to learn how to interpret these things [in my chart] for myself...for a long time Ive had a HUGE creative block...I feel afraid...Im so afraid that they arent any good...I feel like maybe there is an aspect blocking it?...I always feel like I confuse people and noone really understands me...I hope someone will reply and interact with me because Im dying to learn whats going on and these two things are only the tip of the iceberg for whats really bothering me

Click to expand...

Cynthia,

First of all, if you are serious about wanting to learn the basics of astrology you can learn them here in six steps:
http://www.geocities.com/wilsontctc

One thing you will discover if you go to this site is that the planetary energy of "confusion" is . And you have (spirituality, also confusion) (energy is combined with) (self-expression, also ego) in your chart. This indicates a basic confusion about who you are and how you express yourself. You do not see "you" clearly.

Right now transiting (transformation) is going over conjunct your birth , indicating a time of "unconfusing" in your life. So you are now seeing more and more clearly your own confusion and the confusion of others around you. One example of that confusion is right here, on this site. Your screen name is Evie Cottrell yet you call yourself "Cynthia". Which is correct? Evie? Cynthia? Neither. This symbolizes a basic ego confusion about who this "Cynthia" person is. Why not create a completely made up name (such as "astro-watcher", for example) instead of having two names (i.e., "EvieCottrell" and "Cynthia")? This is not to say that you have to change your screen name or stop using your "real name", but is only an example of the type of "ego confusion" that I am talking about.

And now that you are "unconfused" you start to wonder about other things. How talented am I? What am I doing with my creative interests? Are they good enough for others to listen to? This is also part of the awareness that you are more than a "creative" person, you are also a performer and, like every performer, you have to become aware of your audience. Performance has to do with your .

However, also has to do with "artistry", so when you can combine "artistry" with "performance" you have an artistic performer. So the possibility is there, but you have to "see it" clearly and be willing to do what it takes to get to that development of your performance.

Artistically performing,

Tim

Re: interpreting for yourself, to Cynthia

Wow that was VERY interesting. just for clarification purposes.. my real name is Cynthia. My screenname is Evie because she is from a book that I really enjoy. I didnt really think that had anything to do with identity confusion but I can see what you are saying. I do feel really confused about who I am.. and what Im here to do. Im wondering if you are bringing the screenname and real name up because I really dont know who Cynthia is anyway because Im confused about my identity. haha. So I need to become clear on who I am and how to use my talents. i usually feel like i dont have any.. which may have to do with the confusion.. Anyway.. i will look at that link and see if I can decipher the same thing as what you are talking about. Thank you

~Cynthia

wilsontc said:

Cynthia,

You said:


Cynthia,

First of all, if you are serious about wanting to learn the basics of astrology you can learn them here in six steps:
http://www.geocities.com/wilsontctc

One thing you will discover if you go to this site is that the planetary energy of "confusion" is . And you have (spirituality, also confusion) (energy is combined with) (self-expression, also ego) in your chart. This indicates a basic confusion about who you are and how you express yourself. You do not see "you" clearly.

Right now transiting (transformation) is going over conjunct your birth , indicating a time of "unconfusing" in your life. So you are now seeing more and more clearly your own confusion and the confusion of others around you. One example of that confusion is right here, on this site. Your screen name is Evie Cottrell yet you call yourself "Cynthia". Which is correct? Evie? Cynthia? Neither. This symbolizes a basic ego confusion about who this "Cynthia" person is. Why not create a completely made up name (such as "astro-watcher", for example) instead of having two names (i.e., "EvieCottrell" and "Cynthia")? This is not to say that you have to change your screen name or stop using your "real name", but is only an example of the type of "ego confusion" that I am talking about.

And now that you are "unconfused" you start to wonder about other things. How talented am I? What am I doing with my creative interests? Are they good enough for others to listen to? This is also part of the awareness that you are more than a "creative" person, you are also a performer and, like every performer, you have to become aware of your audience. Performance has to do with your .

However, also has to do with "artistry", so when you can combine "artistry" with "performance" you have an artistic performer. So the possibility is there, but you have to "see it" clearly and be willing to do what it takes to get to that development of your performance.

Artistically performing,

Tim

Click to expand...

Re: interpreting for yourself, to Cynthia

Artistically performing,

Click to expand...

Ha, you can say that again Tim!! Looks great and clearly instructive .

Congratulatingly,

Starlink

Re: interpreting for yourself, to Cynthia

I just worked through the website I have no planets in my "beginnings" Houses. Is there a special place that the author found the keywords for the planets and the signs though? Im going to print off the worksheets tomorrow and Im sure I dont need his keywords but it would be nice to for the signs. I can never summarize a whole sign into one keyword... planets and houses are easier for me. once I work through the worksheet Ill probably post for feedback to make sure Im on the right track

and maybe I need to work on my sentences and because Im new Im reading my chart wrong but how are you seeing a square aspect between neptune and pluto? It looks like a Sextile to me....Id like to think you are challenging me to really look at it and not that im looking at it incorrectly but please if Im incorrect that its sextile let me know how to see a square! Sextile would mean that its time to put in effort into things and figure out what my passions and dreams are.. possibly creative ones? let me know. thanks.

Here are my personal recommend beginners links to focus upon Natal charts:-
I hope that you come here and want to learn about astrology and join in with exchanges. There ever expanding Education forum here and lots more to explore. http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12556 or try http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/TOClessons.htm
http://www.geocities.com/wilsontctc/
http://www.cafeastrology.com/natalastrology.html

House systems
Lots of people that come into Astrology get their free charts calculated at www.astro.com and the default ‘house system’ used is Placidus and think that’s just the norm and all that there is……..BUT that is just the tip of the iceberg. You can change the default on astro.com in Extended Chart selection to Equal house and a few more.

Throughout the forums but mainly in natal astrology there are two main branches Placidus (unequal size houses) v Equal House (whereby each house is same size) but lots more……. For more information on these go here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equal_house_system#Equal_House

It's only with study and research will you be able to assess where your planets are deposited and in which houses... thus see which 'glove fits'

In the beginning of Liz Greene's (famous prolific author on astrology), “Astrology for Lover's” book there is a good chapter on What astrology can and can't do.
“Astrology is baffling because it works. So, what in fact is a horoscope?
What it's not is a way of foretelling the future, or of determining whether that tall dark stranger will turn up next week. To put it briefly the horoscope is a map of the psyche of the individual. it's a kind of blueprint, a seed plan, a model of the energies and drives which make up a person. Because it's calculated precisely for time and place, it's unique, unlike the sun sign column. Even identical twins are born at least four minutes apart, and in four minutes the picture has shifted.”

basic astrology, to Cynthia

Cynthia,

You asked:

EvieCottrell said:

Is there a special place that the author found the keywords for the planets and the signs though? Im going to print off the worksheets tomorrow and Im sure I dont need his keywords but it would be nice to for the signs...planets and houses are easier for me...maybe I need to work on my sentences...how are you seeing a square aspect between neptune and pluto? It looks like a Sextile to me

Click to expand...

The keywords used on the astrological website are the keywords most commonly used in modern astrology to refer to the signs/planets/houses. Much of the work on the astrological website is based on Stephen Arroyo's books. The purpose of the keywords is to understand the interconnection (in modern astrology*) of signs, planets, and houses. I strongly suggest using the same keywords (or alternate keywords: see the astrological website for more about alternate keywords) so you understand and can see this interconnection between signs, planets, and houses. This will help you understand that, in modern astrology*, keyword = keyword = 12th house keyword.

I did not say you had in your birth chart, I said that TRANSITING (not listed on your birth chart) is (i.e., not ) your birth (listed on your birth chart). This indicates an energy brought about by this point in time (i.e., by "transit") that will NOT last your entire life (unlike all the planets in your birth chart). That information on your "transit" was advanced astrology and right now you don't need to focus on that. Simply focus on learning your birth chart using "astro-sentencing" with the 12 keywords (and alternate keywords).

Giving the basics,

Tim

* I mention "modern astrology" since this sign keyword = planet keyword = house keyword is something special to MODERN astrology. Other branches of astrology (such as "traditional astrology") don't use this system.

Re: interpreting for yourself, to Cynthia

how are you seeing a square aspect between neptune and pluto? It looks like a Sextile to me....

Click to expand...

Evie, aspects are the distances measured between two planets. There are several major (Ptolemeic) aspects and a few minor one's.
Each aspect has a determined amount of degrees:

Conjunction: the unity of two planets, showing two energies which work together. One-ness

Opposition: 180° away from one another, 1/2 of a circle. two planets in opposition strive to objectify, to reconcile, are torn between one another or tending to swing between two extremes. Shows confrontation. Duality.

Trine: 120° apart. Shows motivation between the two energies, work well together. 1/3rd of a circle. Harmonizing and seeking pleasure.

Square: 90° apart. 1/4th of a circle, shows excertion, effort or struggle.
Two planets in square can show disorientation or the challenge to act.

Sextile: To planets in sextile can give practical expression to their energies.
The individual is required to put own effort into the things he or she wants to succeed in. When the energy is not controlled it creates a person who is uninspired. When controlled, it shows effeciency.

Then there are the minor aspect:

semi-sextile, 30 degrees apart
semi-square, 45 degrees apart
sesquiquadrate, 135 degrees apart
quincunx, 150 degrees apart

So just count the degrees between your Neptune and Pluto and you will find your aspect

with the major aspects you can have an orb of 5-8 degrees for the personal planets, Sun and Moon get more. Ingoing aspects can do with a larger orb than outgoing aspects.
Oppositions usually 8° max, for Sun and Moon 10°

Minor aspects take orbs no larger than 1° - 2°.

Things that speak of confusion...

1) creativity and confusion are both ~very~ neptunian issues. so much so that if two words were perscribed to describe neptune, these two would probably be it. and like tim said, your sun is squared to neptune.
http://www.geocities.com/rbltre/astro/suasne.html#square

2) your sun being at the 29th degree, also known as "the anaretic degree" or the last degree of a sign.
http://karma.astrology.com/anaretic2.html
http://home.epix.net/~tzarathu/29th%20degree.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/criticaldegrees.html
because of the circumstances of being at the very end before it crosses over into the next sign, it holds a degree of confusion about identity and purpose and defining of the self. also much relation to karma. its also notable that your anaretic sun is in the last sign of the zodiac, pisces, which could well be considered the anerectic sign of the zodiac. so your sun is not only in the last/anaretic degree of pisces but also the last/anaretic degree of the entire zodical year.

3) your 8th house pisces moon (water house, water sign, very deep)

besides these things, your chart actually looks quite strong though. mars in 10th, enhances communication and self promotional ability and mercury and venus at midheaven add to this but also bring charm, grace, literary talent, tact...

lalalaheidi87 said:

Things that speak of confusion...

1) creativity and confusion are both ~very~ neptunian issues. so much so that if two words were perscribed to describe neptune, these two would probably be it. and like tim said, your sun is squared to neptune.
http://www.geocities.com/rbltre/astro/suasne.html#square

2) your sun being at the 29th degree, also known as "the anaretic degree" or the last degree of a sign.
http://karma.astrology.com/anaretic2.html
http://home.epix.net/~tzarathu/29th%20degree.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/criticaldegrees.html
because of the circumstances of being at the very end before it crosses over into the next sign, it holds a degree of confusion about identity and purpose and defining of the self. also much relation to karma. its also notable that your anaretic sun is in the last sign of the zodiac, pisces, which could well be considered the anerectic sign of the zodiac. so your sun is not only in the last/anaretic degree of pisces but also the last/anaretic degree of the entire zodical year.

3) your 8th house pisces moon (water house, water sign, very deep)

besides these things, your chart actually looks quite strong though. mars in 10th, enhances communication and self promotional ability and mercury and venus at midheaven add to this but also bring charm, grace, literary talent, tact...

Click to expand...

Nicely explained with 'links' rather than just dropping the answer in people's laps, definately on my wavelength...


Sun square or opposition Neptune
Those people born under a challenging aspect between the Sun and Neptune often struggle with a desire to be something special or to experience something more than the ordinary. They are day-dreamers and idealists. It is easy for these people to trust others, even (and perhaps especially) people who might seem from the outside looking in as unsavory types. They are looking to identify with something beyond what is normally expected of people.
Most have in common a childhood that didn't help the natives direct or define their lives. Perhaps the early family life was lacking in supervision or clearly defined rules. A father figure may have been absent or distant and ineffective. Many people with these aspects have a glorified image of their fathers. Whether the image is very positive or very negative (or if it swings between these extremes), the image is not very clear or rational. Whatever the case may be, these people struggle with defining who they are. They might gravitate towards the "wrong people", or get in with the "wrong crowd" in an attempt to define who they are. They might be susceptible to being taken advantage of by others, especially by men or authority figures. They can be easily led astray by peculiar desires or self-destructive habits. In order to add a greater-than-ordinary dimension of experience to their lives that helps them to feel special and important, they might be attracted to Neptune-ruled behaviors, such as secret affairs, drugs, or other escapist behaviors. In some way, these people feel a strong urge to glamorize their role in the world. In extreme cases, the natives are completely deluded. However, in most cases, there is simply some confusion about the past (such as remembering childhood experiences in ways that are far removed from reality), and a tendency to daydream about being someone more "important" than they assume they are. They may struggle with early conditioning that made them feel tossed aside or neglected in some way, and certainly not directed and supported.
These people are very sensitive, especially with regards to any real or imagined blows to their ego. If the natal chart shows a strong sense of reality and a robust mind (Mercury and Saturn well-placed, for example), the negative interpretations of this aspect are less extreme. Still, the natives are likely to recognize at some point in their lives that they have a tendency to engage in escapist and self-destructive fantasies and/or habits. It is useful to be able to connect these behaviors with their probable source, which is likely to be a weakly-defined ego and identity in childhood.

http://cafeastrology.com/natal/sunneptuneaspects.html

Im going to look over all this again on friday.. i have the day off from classes.