What is his issue with my husband?

anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
My husband has a family member who, in my opinion, seems to want to constantly hurt or upset him and I cannot figure out why. This person thrives on drama and my husband is someone who has no interest in that and he isn't particularly malice at all. I am wondering if he is jealous of my husband or if it is something else. I was talking to his ex-girlfriend (who I am friends with) about it and she said it was something she always noticed as well - but she also said she felt he had an abnormal fascination with me. Is the issue ME or is it my husband or is it both?

If anyone wants to take a stab at the charts, I've attached their synastry and composite. He is stirring up some drama now with the family and trying to ostracise my husband and blaming him for some stuff that had nothing to do with him. I just don't get it and I also refuse to play into it because I know that's what he wants.

My husband has a lot of Piscean energy and he has a lot of Sag energy, so I get that they square, but that can't be the main reason.

Thanks in advance for anyone looking at this.
 

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anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Jadi said:
I would also check out that guy's Nessus and its aspects, just to be sure.
Click to expand...

How would it need to be aspected? I haven't heard of Nessus until now (just googled it). This guy's Nessus is in the 1st house and my husband has his 4th.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
If I look at my synastry with him (which I never have), his Venus EXACTLY conjuncts my Pluto. Our moons are in opposition by one degree. His Venus is square my Nessus - so is that it?

My husband's Nessus squares HIS Mars.

Maybe it's both of us? The funny thing is he is the one that set us up. And I actually feel like he was hoping it would fail and implode so he could watch the drama unfold.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
In his own chart he has Nessus trine Sun, sextile Mars, square Saturn and trine Uranus. He has been verbally abusive to his ex-girlfriends and has done some other things that have made two of them feel unsafe. He also has some sort of obsession with anal sex - so I think he either has dominance issues or is a closeted homosexual. He is exceptionally homophobic - which is odd to me because one of our family member's is gay and he is really close with him. He clearly has a lot of issues that go beyond my husband, but I'm wondering if they all somehow tie into each other. My husband is really confident - he walks into a room and it lights up. People like him, he's not mean or malicious, he is successful and despite the losses he has had in life he has a pretty good outlook. That's why I asked if it were maybe jealousy that was driving him to act this way. He hasn't targeted anyone else in the family, which is what I find strange. I know he tells me things so I get annoyed he is trying to make my husband upset. He knows that I will protect and shield my husband from his nonsense, so I wonder what he gains from doing it all.
 
Kitchy

Kitchy

Banned
anjelik said:
My husband has a family member who, in my opinion, seems to want to constantly hurt or upset him and I cannot figure out why. This person thrives on drama and my husband is someone who has no interest in that and he isn't particularly malice at all. I am wondering if he is jealous of my husband or if it is something else. I was talking to his ex-girlfriend (who I am friends with) about it and she said it was something she always noticed as well - but she also said she felt he had an abnormal fascination with me. Is the issue ME or is it my husband or is it both?

If anyone wants to take a stab at the charts, I've attached their synastry and composite. He is stirring up some drama now with the family and trying to ostracise my husband and blaming him for some stuff that had nothing to do with him. I just don't get it and I also refuse to play into it because I know that's what he wants.

My husband has a lot of Piscean energy and he has a lot of Sag energy, so I get that they square, but that can't be the main reason.

Thanks in advance for anyone looking at this.
Click to expand...

Anjelik -

Here's what I'm wondering....

Is your husband bothered or troubled by his family relation's behavior? Is it consuming him and / or affecting your relationship? If not, then it' is likely less about the problem of what he has with your husband than the problem he has for you or that you have for him (the family relation).

Your husband appears to be a focal point for either or both of you in this respect, in the greater scheme of things. If you are wondering what is bothering you so much about this guy who is bothering your husband, then look to two things in your chart - your 7th house husband, your own 8th house and the family member's 12th house. Or any combo therein of your charts.

This is stuff out of the classic british novels - where people use others as reasons of deflecting something within themselves.

If the real issue (it would be for me) is that hubby is ignorant, numb or indifferent to it - then it would be a Saturn issue for me.

If hubby knows it is going on, knows it bothers you, even though he doesn't seem bothered by it - then it's a Pluto issue.

Neptune senses but can't figure it out.

Moon follows the breadcrumbs.

Look at where your natal moon is in your chart - it's relations, if any, to the above planets and then peel away the onion layers - at least a couple of them. Get closer to the core of what the real issue is in this rather convoluted situation.

It's the equivalent of 3 questions in one horary chart. That's where the moon of native shows the best forensics.
 
theV

theV

Well-known member
Check Saturn in their Davison chart is it square sun or moon or another planet? Saturn create heated relationship with disputes and arguments.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Kitchy said:
Anjelik -

Here's what I'm wondering....

Is your husband bothered or troubled by his family relation's behavior? Is it consuming him and / or affecting your relationship? If not, then it' is likely less about the problem of what he has with your husband than the problem he has for you or that you have for him (the family relation).

Your husband appears to be a focal point for either or both of you in this respect, in the greater scheme of things. If you are wondering what is bothering you so much about this guy who is bothering your husband, then look to two things in your chart - your 7th house husband, your own 8th house and the family member's 12th house. Or any combo therein of your charts.

This is stuff out of the classic british novels - where people use others as reasons of deflecting something within themselves.

If the real issue (it would be for me) is that hubby is ignorant, numb or indifferent to it - then it would be a Saturn issue for me.

If hubby knows it is going on, knows it bothers you, even though he doesn't seem bothered by it - then it's a Pluto issue.

Neptune senses but can't figure it out.

Moon follows the breadcrumbs.

Look at where your natal moon is in your chart - it's relations, if any, to the above planets and then peel away the onion layers - at least a couple of them. Get closer to the core of what the real issue is in this rather convoluted situation.

It's the equivalent of 3 questions in one horary chart. That's where the moon of native shows the best forensics.
Click to expand...

It affects my husband because he has caused drama/strain between my husband and this guy's father. My husband really admires this person's father and I think the relationship is important to him because it connects my husband to his deceased mother. This guy will threaten ME and say "Tell J not to call my parents. It won't end well." He did this in April over something stupid and my husband took my phone and said "leave my name out of it. This has nothing to do with me. I'm not being dragged into your immature games." And that was it. My husband reached out to him 2 months ago and he ignored it and it wasn't until this week he finally reached out to me asking if my husband was planning on calling his parents when he is in NY for vacation and when I said yes he was he responded with the same thing as in April. I asked him to add context and he just ignored it. It's like he wants me to tell my husband to get him up (so I'm not). So I guess in answer to your question, it doesn't consume my husband or affect our relationship but it does bother him that this person tries to turn his parents against him and it's probably based on some lie.

I kind of wonder also if this guy doesn't like that I know so much about him. One of my good friends dated him for 3 years and then I became friends with his other ex. So I know indent the patterns of abuse and it's really ugly and I think he needs mental help because pulling a gun on your girlfriend is not normal.
 
Kitchy

Kitchy

Banned
okay - so anjelik is the detective in this situation. i would do the same.

so, who is the detective's biggest threat? the perp that doesn't get busted.

so, do me a favor - look at your chart as 1st house Anjelik the detective -

watch the moon now in progression of your chart and see where your emotional interests lie and see if that moon aspects a natal pluto planet or if it has changed houses and the game is being upped.

this is actually a really awesome pluto moon scenario, my guessing - in your progressions. "it ain't over and you don't even know it's started..." ;)

someone who's been a thorn in your side for long enough has come to a festering boil. get out the hot sharp razor and cut it open.

i'm getting the feeling that this guy's gig is about to be up - now, depending on if you got some sneaky strong neptune pluto moon - you can pull it off and it won't look like you who revealed it -

but your husband - 7th house - make sure that the only way he is to be proclaimed a pawn is because of his own choosing. if you want him to rise to occasion on behalf of the entire "his family" then this is the time where pluto rules the same planet of traditional mars.

a sore is festering and about to pop and get everyone messy unless it is handled with precise draining and bandaging.

i know people think i'm weird for the way i spell out these scenarios, but i use astrology as a tool for the 'hits' it get when i see a chart.

modern day columbo in natal, horary or mundane.

take it for what you will.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
theV said:
Check Saturn in their Davison chart is it square sun or moon or another planet? Saturn create heated relationship with disputes and arguments.
Click to expand...

Saturn square Moon and Venus.

He and I have Saturn square Sun and Mercury.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Kitchy said:
okay - so anjelik is the detective in this situation. i would do the same.

so, who is the detective's biggest threat? the perp that doesn't get busted.

so, do me a favor - look at your chart as 1st house Anjelik the detective -

watch the moon now in progression of your chart and see where your emotional interests lie and see if that moon aspects a natal pluto planet or if it has changed houses and the game is being upped.

this is actually a really awesome pluto moon scenario, my guessing - in your progressions. "it ain't over and you don't even know it's started..." ;)

someone who's been a thorn in your side for long enough has come to a festering boil. get out the hot sharp razor and cut it open.

i'm getting the feeling that this guy's gig is about to be up - now, depending on if you got some sneaky strong neptune pluto moon - you can pull it off and it won't look like you who revealed it -

but your husband - 7th house - make sure that the only way he is to be proclaimed a pawn is because of his own choosing. if you want him to rise to occasion on behalf of the entire "his family" then this is the time where pluto rules the same planet of traditional mars.

a sore is festering and about to pop and get everyone messy unless it is handled with precise draining and bandaging.

i know people think i'm weird for the way i spell out these scenarios, but i use astrology as a tool for the 'hits' it get when i see a chart.

modern day columbo in natal, horary or mundane.

take it for what you will.
Click to expand...


My progressed moon is in Virgo in the 8th house - so I guess my interests certainly lie in 8th house matters at the moment. It hasn't changed signs, but recently entered the 8th house (it's like 2 degrees in). My progressed moon is semisquare to my natal Pluto in the 9th house. It is also square to my natal moon, which sits in the 4th house).

I don't understand what you mean about the 7th house and my husband being a pawn. How can I make sure he isn't a pawn? I mean, he is one for sure. He actually just texted me saying "If he sends you any messages, do not respond." Because I told him I wanted him to reach out to his parents before he flew out Thursday so it cannot somehow be twisted that he came over to the US and didn't contact them to arrange a time to see them. I also have already started a little manipulation of my own. We have other family coming from England to NY also and he reached out to them asking if they wanted to go to a baseball game. So I told the rest of our family that we all can go to the game and if he chooses to come, then that's great, if not then he made the decision. I am NOT allowing him to purposely exclude my husband to make him feel bad! But I digress - my 7th house is ruled by the Moon so is that how you mean it all ties into the moon?
 
Kitchy

Kitchy

Banned
anjelik said:
My progressed moon is in Virgo in the 8th house - so I guess my interests certainly lie in 8th house matters at the moment. It hasn't changed signs, but recently entered the 8th house (it's like 2 degrees in). My progressed moon is semisquare to my natal Pluto in the 9th house. It is also square to my natal moon, which sits in the 4th house).

I don't understand what you mean about the 7th house and my husband being a pawn. How can I make sure he isn't a pawn? I mean, he is one for sure. He actually just texted me saying "If he sends you any messages, do not respond." Because I told him I wanted him to reach out to his parents before he flew out Thursday so it cannot somehow be twisted that he came over to the US and didn't contact them to arrange a time to see them. I also have already started a little manipulation of my own. We have other family coming from England to NY also and he reached out to them asking if they wanted to go to a baseball game. So I told the rest of our family that we all can go to the game and if he chooses to come, then that's great, if not then he made the decision. I am NOT allowing him to purposely exclude my husband to make him feel bad! But I digress - my 7th house is ruled by the Moon so is that how you mean it all ties into the moon?
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Kitchy sighs and smiles begrudgingly happy -

"by being the 8th moon - getting to bottom of it, but knowing that the real issue is that your meal ticket, love and passion and life - husband (or is he?) is your 7th / 8th - and you are out to arrange the contracts of behavior and inheritance - not your husband nor his relation.

Good job getting at that - now - just study it and figure it out for yourself with a little prompting...

;)
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Kitchy said:
Kitchy sighs and smiles begrudgingly happy -

"by being the 8th moon - getting to bottom of it, but knowing that the real issue is that your meal ticket, love and passion and life - husband (or is he?) is your 7th / 8th - and you are out to arrange the contracts of behavior and inheritance - not your husband nor his relation.

Good job getting at that - now - just study it and figure it out for yourself with a little prompting...

;)
Click to expand...

Wait, you really lost me here. I reread what you wrote about 6 times and I am still confused.

Knowing the real issue is my meal ticket - so like finding the real issue as to what HIS problem is with ME or my husband/

And then I don't get anything you said about my husband and arranging contracts of behaviour and inheritance. Can you explain differently? :)
 
Kitchy

Kitchy

Banned
no i can't and no i won't.

you are disgruntled with your old man and looking for ways to find your way out of it.

this family member is the least of your problems right now - he is just the focal point.

i can't make it any clearer. sorry.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
I disagree. This has nothing to do with me being disgruntled with my husband. This is me being annoyed that this sh*thead is starting to stir up more ****. I really wish he wasn't even part of our life since he is that awful of a human. I am not looking to get out of my marriage and this certainly had very little impact on my marriage. It's just that this person contacts me to try and stir things up and upset my husband. For instance, if I told my husband what he said to me out of nowhere yesterday he would be upset by it.
 
Kitchy

Kitchy

Banned
okay, so i'm completely mistaken. talk with your husband about how he feels about this and then wonder why he does nothing about it, but it bothers you ceaselessly...?

it's all good as long as you get the bottom of it - moon to pluto.
 
theV

theV

Well-known member
He has been verbally abusive to his ex-girlfriends and has done some other things that have made two of them feel unsafe. He also has some sort of obsession with anal sex
Click to expand...

The abusive pattern in his intimate relationship is seen in his Venus/Pluto. Venus/Pluto seeks to dominate the partner. Relationship is a playground and they spent their time wresting their partner to show their dominance over them. VenusPluto men could attract to this type of sex that is seen as taboo "anal sex"-even it isn't in our day-

The guy IC in equal house system falls in your husband 8th house. Ic representing family connection in your husband's 8th house power struggles shows pattern of familial conflict.
 
Kitchy

Kitchy

Banned
theV said:
The abusive pattern in his intimate relationship is seen in his Venus/Pluto. Venus/Pluto seeks to dominate the partner. Relationship is a playground and they spent their time wresting their partner to show their dominance over them. VenusPluto men could attract to this type of sex that is seen as taboo "anal sex"-even it isn't in our day-

The guy IC in equal house system falls in your husband 8th house. Ic representing family connection in your husband's 8th house power struggles shows pattern of familial conflict.
Click to expand...


Anjelik - I know you're a brit. I hope you take this with a grain of loving salt that comes after the no salt or leavened bread thing - V Day -

V hit the target, won the war and left me saying - 'whoa! I must have missed something"

Check your neptune and ;luto and moon, lady. Uranus is taking over and it might just be yours.

I'm sorry to sound provocotive, but I am speaking in metaphor.
 
theV

theV

Well-known member
Yeah, the guy also has Scorpio IC/Pluto conjunct IC also shows he comes from dominating family. As he grows up, he seeks to dominate family members or to voice himself in the family. Pluto/IC is power struggles within the family and it falls in your husband's 8th house. His Saturn parallel your husband Moon explains the resentment.
 
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