Random Thoughts, strictly Text

lol I never met anyone off of tinder. I remember all my friends were on it, so I joined for a second and then was feeling unattractive, so I swiped right to every profile to get a little ego boost. hahaha It was funny, but then I deleted it, because it didn't seem like something I wanted in my life. lol

Ukpoohbear said:

omg I met somebody of pof and tinder once. Ended up being good friends with rapper dude from tinder but the pof one...well he already had a girlfriend and didn't tell me or his girlfriend, even though he had added me on his fb. Well I got suspicious when he posted a photo of his cat being sick and I commented going something like 'awww xxx' and within 5 seconds a girl had commented going 'AWWW XXXXXXXXXXX,' as if in competition with me, and then the photo of his cat gets deleted and whenI asked he said it upset him too much.

Well I went on a miss marple investigation and messaged about 5 girls asking him he was their girlfriend. 4 said 'no and I don't know you stop being weird' but ONE messaged back and said 'im his fiancée who are you??,' so I presented her with proof of his coming to visit me and phoned him to tell him I had found out. I started the conversation to him saying 'I want to apologize for not trusting you' and he said 'its ok, Im glad you trust me now,' to which I said, 'haha got you Ive just spoken to your fiancée!' to which he said, 'im just on a plane to Australia for 6 weeks seeya!' lol.

They actually ended up back together and having a kid together but a couple of times Ive forwarded messages to her when he's tried to contact me again. Is she grateful? No, she thinks Im a pain in the ***, as if telling the truth to somebody makes it my problem, but I see it as a responsibility to out these players.

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Some women are just duck heads who turn a blind eye. If they turn a blind eye to that what else are they ‘ignoring’?

More fool them!! Sometimes it’s better to let them get I. With it as some women see other women as the enemy rather than the **** the man is!!!

How old r u Pooh bear

Hkk said:

I want to find a decent person that I click with not ppl who are hungry for sex which is what I’m attracting. I get the vulnerable thing and I’m ready for all that where as before I was happy with myself doing my thing for myself. Now I wanna share my life. I feel I’m ready. It’s what u want and I find it frustrating as when I want something I get and there’s nothing out there right now to have. The men around me wherever I go repulse me

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Well, I meant more like, wanting a relationship with a singular person that you already clicked with seems more viable for me than wanting a relationship and then searching a candidate pool. Although, I know lots of people want a relationship and then go out and search potentials until they find someone and it totally works! Just wasn't something I ever tried is all. lol

I think when people search for intimate connection, the masks/fronts people put on can be repulsive, because they don't feel like the core or they come across inauthentic, ya feel?

moonkat235 said:

Well, I meant more like, wanting a relationship with a singular person that you already clicked with seems more viable for me than wanting a relationship and then searching a candidate pool. Although, I know lots of people want a relationship and then go out and search potentials until they find someone and it totally works! Just wasn't something I ever tried is all. lol

I think when people search for intimate connection, the masks/fronts people put on can be repulsive, because they don't feel like the core or they come across inauthentic, ya feel?

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Yeah I see the fake ness and the disgusting filth

Moonkat, I gave a brief description of how I'm determining the sidereal Ages, and how the same method can be applied to discern the tropical Ages as well. It's in the Mundane section, on the thread with the provocative title, "The Ugly Side of the Age of Aquarius". It's the last post so far. The OP is an Aquarian Sun with Mars in Pisces.

david starling said:

You evoked the memory of a psychological term, "Sensory Perception", which is about how we experience and relate to environmental stimuli, including other people.
It's my opinion that Saturn is about limiting our Sensory Perception, whereas Uranian influence is about expanding it to include senses we naturally have, but which are currently offline for most of the time. That's where "Extrasensory Perception" comes into play. Except, they're not really "extra" senses. They are part and parcel of our survival mechanism, which explains why Saturn is identified with the "Grim Reaper".

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Hmm that's interesting Mr. Starling!

Do you think the Saturnine influence of restricting/limiting is like making something concrete? I was thinking of how we try to 'make sense' of our sensory inputs, like put them into words/language (I think language makes reality) and then those senses can be processed into 'understanding'. Do you feel?

Hkk said:

Yeah I see the fake ness and the disgusting filth

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"disgusting filth" sounds Virgo-like.

Hkk said:

Yeah I see the fake ness and the disgusting filth

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Do you feel like people are genuinely disgusting?

Idk there are lots of people I don't care to hang with, but I try not to judge, cuz I just don't know them or their life or their motivations, even if it looks apparent. I just can't bring it in myself to assume. It's rare if ever that I'll make the statement that I 'know' someone for real. Discovering people from all walks of life gives me fulfillment, but digging through bullsh*t can be tough. lol

Not that I go around trying to do that with everyone, but I'm just like 'meh' about most people unless something strikes a chord in me and I want to dig into them to know why I feel struck (either negatively or positively).

moonkat235 said:

lol I've been a single lady for most of my life. I saw a lot of my friends trying to find themselves through relationships and seeking the love and intimacy they've always craved. I avoided relationships, because I wanted to find myself through other means, but now I'm of the opinion that relationships can be really cool experiences of self-discovery.

I always wonder what we'd be in total isolation. Does the term 'personality' have any meaning outside of interaction with others? Idk, lol, and it's not a practical question, but I ask it all the time anyway. Like I wonder if there's really 'self' without 'other'. Is there 'I' without 'We'?

Ahhh wtf are we??? omg lol

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I read something about this just lastnight. It suggested to observe how many roles we play, like how we play out job roles, how we change in voice when on the phone, when speakin to somebody in authority v's when we are in authority. It's basically saying what you are saying that we all wear masks and who are we really beneath all that?

To get rid of who we were told we are, which either inflated our ego or harmed our self-esteem because both are as dangerous as the other.

About relationships, my friend Janne said to me that although he's been married twice and has two daughters, he's still never made love.

Well Im hoping that I spent the time working on myself and hiding myself will lead to a proper connection with somebody but that means the other person also has to have done inner work too and has surrendered to their need to live by their ego and win because there is no ego in love.

The people you describe that find themselves through relationships, I see the same and I am not a cynical person but because of this knowledge I know their relationship will never last but will change them as people and will be traumatic and it would be very rare two people manage to grow together and come to that realisation together, although some who have families do but plenty stay together and don't change.

But yes, I took that time out to work on myself and even if I don't find somebody to connect truthfully with it would still be worth it. Being together with somebody who would try to pull you down instead of up is just not my cup of tea, now that I know what happens.

moonkat235 said:

Hmm that's interesting Mr. Starling!

Do you think the Saturnine influence of restricting/limiting is like making something concrete? I was thinking of how we try to 'make sense' of our sensory inputs, like put them into words/language (I think language makes reality) and then those senses can be processed into 'understanding'. Do you feel?

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Yes, it gives the illusion that reality is solid and permanent.

Hmm well I think all those roles are still us and of course there's more to us than that, but it's not like those roles are completely inauthentic I mean. I have a lot of roles in life, and I love being a bit of a chameleon and I really really love surprising people.

People who see me at work figure I'm very professional and 'really on my sh*t', and then if they see me outside of work, I'm just space-ily musing to the universe about life and the nature of reality. lol It's a little jarring to people I think, which definitely gives me pleasure of some sort. lol I enjoy giving glimpses that there's more.

Although lately I've been more open at work. I trained a new guy a little while ago and I made one my friends/coworkers laugh, because as I showed him the storage room, she heard me say 'and I'm not really sure about free will, I think I'm more in favor of determinism, but yeah here's the to-go silverware and make sure you stock everything on the list I made'.

passiflora said:

I met some wonderful people on dating sites by constructing a profile as if looking only for friends. Didn't meet my husband on a site. But meeting nice guys online at least was a sign that beautiful people (inside) do exist.

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Yeah, I agree. One of my friends has an account on a dating app to get to know people when she travels around. She's had a lot of luck meeting friends from all over the world!

moonkat235 said:

Hmm well I think all those roles are still us and of course there's more to us than that, but it's not like those roles are completely inauthentic I mean. I have a lot of roles in life, and I love being a bit of a chameleon and I really really love surprising people.

People who see me at work figure I'm very professional and 'really on my sh*t', and then if they see me outside of work, I'm just space-ily musing to the universe about life and the nature of reality. lol It's a little jarring to people I think, which definitely gives me pleasure of some sort. lol I enjoy giving glimpses that there's more.

Although lately I've been more open at work. I trained a new guy a little while ago and I made one my friends/coworkers laugh, because as I showed him the storage room, she heard me say 'and I'm not really sure about free will, I think I'm more in favor of determinism, but yeah here's the to-go silverware and make sure you stock everything on the list I made'.

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In our extremely Saturn-based culture, we have to embrace those roles in order to fit in, and to live a reasonably affluent life, as limited in scope as that life may be.

david starling said:

In our extremely Saturn-based culture, we have to embrace those roles in order to fit in, and to live a reasonably affluent life, as limited in scope as that life may be.

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Well, I think those roles still inform me of who I am. That's why I mentioned earlier about what/who are we if we're in total isolation. Like if there are no roles to adhere to, no structures to bump into and see where the somewhat nebulous or porous boundaries of 'self' are, then what distinguishes that self?

I mean sometimes I figure language and maybe even thought are what create separateness. Also illusions aren't necessarily less 'real' or less instructive to me.

Yeah I don't think its inauthentic necessarily to play these roles but its easy to become attached to them and believe they are real. Maybe you naturally realize this lesson by being a Neptune chameleon and so you have no attachment to these roles. The role I grew up in in my environment was damaging to my soul so it eventually led to a complete disconnect and need to hid, find myself and exist as much outwith my community as possible. Now Ive built up a sense of inner strength and have spent about 4/5 years being disconnected, I actually strive to have a mask to wear and a role to play, as if to give myself a break from being too connected to things which cant be seen. The roles we play will actually serve as a type of anchor and grounding mechanism for me now, which sounds like they do with you too. It's like you naturally know this lesson because you naturally play so many roles, so youre not attached to either, whereas other people might naturally be attached to their roles. But yes, I've been currently working towards creating a public persona, except it wont be at the expense of my inner self but rather a balancing of both, which has already started to show itself as pure confidence in real-life ever since I have a strong inner self, but Im still working towards a strong outer self, which is my next goal.

moonkat235 said:

Do you feel like people are genuinely disgusting?

Idk there are lots of people I don't care to hang with, but I try not to judge, cuz I just don't know them or their life or their motivations, even if it looks apparent. I just can't bring it in myself to assume. It's rare if ever that I'll make the statement that I 'know' someone for real. Discovering people from all walks of life gives me fulfillment, but digging through bullsh*t can be tough. lol

Not that I go around trying to do that with everyone, but I'm just like 'meh' about most people unless something strikes a chord in me and I want to dig into them to know why I feel struck (either negatively or positively).

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No I don’t generally think ppl are disgusting. I went on the site and there were slot of pervy comments and some were sick. I went on a while ago and it was the same. U don’t wish to discuss what suck things but any normal decent human would agree. Anyway I don’t wana discuss it anymore. My situation is just upsetting. I’m just gonna stay as an ‘i’

moonkat235 said:

Well, I think those roles still inform me of who I am. That's why I mentioned earlier about what/who are we if we're in total isolation. Like if there are no roles to adhere to, no structures to bump into and see where the somewhat nebulous or porous boundaries of 'self' are, then what distinguishes that self?

I mean sometimes I figure language and maybe even thought are what create separateness. Also illusions aren't necessarily less 'real' or less instructive to me.

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In 12/12, Saturn is the Regulating-ruler of Aries, so Aries goes along with the Saturnian version of a permanent, structured reality of limited perception. But, Aries Suns understand that there's way more to it than that.

passiflora said:

I would love to! Let me get there. I wasn't trying to brush you off this actually sounds like the most fun someone could have on the internet. It's just my next few days look... really studious and technical.

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Omg totally forgot to reply, sounds great though! Definitely PM me whenever about this topic.

Also good luck on the studious and technical work!

Hkk said:

No I don’t generally think ppl are disgusting. I went on the site and there were slot of pervy comments and some were sick. I went on a while ago and it was the same. U don’t wish to discuss what suck things but any normal decent human would agree. Anyway I don’t wana discuss it anymore. My situation is just upsetting. I’m just gonna stay as an ‘i’

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Okay for sure, no need to discuss when it makes you feel more upset, dude.