Hi.
Could you please clarify something? Was this your first relationship period? Or your first ever synastry contact involving Venus opposite Pluto?
Having Venus Square Pluto natally itself is not going to alone offer an overabundance of intensity. Are there other aspects involving your personal planet's and Pluto in your chart, or the synastry chart?
I have Venus Square Pluto natally, so I understand some of what you may be going through. Especially with regards to handling jealousy.
But I also have Moon opposite Venus and square Pluto. Moon opposite mercury with mercury Square Pluto, which can be pretty intense itself in some instances.
And speaking of which Pluto is not entirely the only planet capable of intensity. Mars for example can be quite intense, being action, and also is capable of its own jealousies.
You may wish to look to the aspects your natal Mars makes. Both yours and his, as well as synastry.
Beyond that without further detail of what actually took place intensity wise whether it was jealousy, fighting- shouting or such, I don't have much of a way to offer suggestions for how to alleviate the tension of the aspect.
I'm unaware of whether it was too intense in a way where more time alone could've helped between the two of you, or whatever else.
I will say self reflection has helped me quite a bit. But personally speaking I haven't dated anyone seriously for quite a few years now. So I'm not too certain I'm the greatest at handling what Venus Square Pluto throws into the mix myself.
Reflect. Be patient with yourself. Try not to place blame. It takes quite a bit of time to work through some of our more stressful and trying aspects.
Good luck.