Jealousy/Possessiveness

whammy:kiss said:

"My personal experience with Scorpios is that they can be jealous but most of the time will hide it. They are very passive aggressive at times, especially with relationships. They will never forget either..."


Vista, I totally agree with that--I'm passive aggressive with jealousy. I hate being confronted about it, and I get really humiliated when my significant other gets annoyed by my jealousy. Nothing kills my pride more than appearing vulnerable

And I most certainly NEVER forget. If I'm wronged; I'll always be watching and analyzing.

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I am very drawn to Scorpios but find I do not have good relationships with them. My mom is a Scorpio and she will remember something I did from 1982 and use it against me in an arguement. I don't really experience that particular problem with my relationships with male Scorpios, but the passive agressiveness and "payback" are prominent themes. BTW, several of these men had their personal Scorpio planets in the 12th so i am sure this trait was accented.

Shining Ray said:

Thanks for all your views and experience on this topic; you have plenty of personal insight, which is what I wanted. I did read all water signs are possessive; I was trying to let my Pisces planets off the hook (bad joke). I have never found Pisces to be as jealous as the other two water signs. Pisces is a fantasy prone sign, and cheats in the imagination; I can imagine myself with all types of people. Pisces doesn't seem to hold on as tightly to a partner as other signs. I guess if they did, they would use other tactics. My Moon in Scorpio boyfriend, used the "I will commit suicide if you leave", the whole self-destruct mechanism of Scorpio, I never believed him. If he did commit suicide it would be in revenge not that he misses me. We had a love-hate relationship, I loved to hate him; I do wonder how he has treated other partners. My boyfriends don't have real names now, they are astrology symbols .

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In general it seems to me that people who require a great deal of freedom are more likely to give it. However, that also assumes that people are self-aware enough of the own requirements to realize that anything of that sort works two-ways.

Obviously that is often not true at all.

Some people are comfortable in situations that would make me feel totally boxed in. For instance, some people are quite comfortable with a somewhat possessive partner if their own personal need for freedom is not (consciously) limited by this possessiveness. To them, it might not even appear as possessiveness.

I once knew a very Leonine woman who said to me, jokingly: "If you love something, set it free. If it does not come back to you, hunt it down and kill it." She admitted that on some level there was truth in this for her. Perhaps for her the issue was pride, that she would be humiliated if a guy decided he didn't need her in his life any more.

Married to a Taurus with a Cancer moon, I am loving this thread.

good thread....

I'm Cancer Sun, Mars and Mercury;Scorpio Moon, Pluto and Saturn and Taurus Venus....hehe it is not easy....
Me and my bf we are together for almost 4 years and in the begging I was very jealous.....but now...absolutely not....

Shining Ray

On P.308

"Many Cancers will remain uncommitted because of the gruelliing experience a separation would entail. The disruption of the nest is a true trauma for Cancer, even if he deeply longs for freedom"

"Cancer will rarely make the decision to go. First of all emotional confrontation is too terrifying. Secondly other people's opinions are too terrifying, they would much rather become quietly, progressively unpleasant until your the one to throw him out. Then he doesn't have to feel guilty."

"Betrayal of trust goes deep with water signs. Rationally they may excuse it. Emotionally, they never do".

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AGREE AGREE AGREE ....nothing more to say....

About the possessiveness and jealousy I think it all depends......not only how you feel inside but how will make you feel other people......if they understand you I guess they won't do things to disturb you......I soon realized how different people are.....when someone say: "everybody are different" it is just phrase it is not easy to understand it really..and think that most people don't understand it ....ASTROLOGY helped me in this case.....

Gaer, you said"
I once knew a very Leonine woman who said to me, jokingly: "If you love something, set it free. If it does not come back to you, hunt it down and kill it."

That totally cracked me up.I have met women who espouse this principle. Whilst I dont*have it in me* to behave like that, my scorpio planets fully appreciate the intensity and passion that would accompany such a philosophy.
Theres an inate truth in there.
LOLOLOL.
Lillyjgc

gaer said:

In general it seems to me that people who require a great deal of freedom are more likely to give it. However, that also assumes that people are self-aware enough of the own requirements to realize that anything of that sort works two-ways.

Obviously that is often not true at all.

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Yes that is true, and I would say the same is true for people who require more affection, they do tend to give a lot of affection themselves. Or people who require loyalty, want the same loyalty back. I know we can't be clones of one another and partnerships need some give and take. Sometimes you can turn the tables on jealousy, and invade their space, and act jealous when they are on the phone, or on a night out with friends. And see how they respond to jealousy. They might feel flattered that you return they same feelings, or run .

Some people are comfortable in situations that would make me feel totally boxed in. For instance, some people are quite comfortable with a somewhat possessive partner if their own personal need for freedom is not (consciously) limited by this possessiveness. To them, it might not even appear as possessiveness.

I once knew a very Leonine woman who said to me, jokingly: "If you love something, set it free. If it does not come back to you, hunt it down and kill it." She admitted that on some level there was truth in this for her. Perhaps for her the issue was pride, that she would be humiliated if a guy decided he didn't need her in his life any more.

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It wouldn't be a nice feeling if you let your partner have all the freedom they want, and after a while they just left you. I never understand the people who say they want their freedom and date jealous people. You would think people would find others of similar values, but maybe opposites do attract. In the Astrological/Psychological series by Liz Greene and Howard Sasportas they discussed the freedom-closeness dilemma in there. It was suggested, I'm not sure it's in this part of the book. Anyway, it was said, that people who have split charts will find someone else to live out their other aspects for them. When you have a partner who craves freedom, you really need to look at the part of your own nature that craves this freedom too, and you haven't acknowledged or recognised this need within.

vanila said:

good thread....

I'm Cancer Sun, Mars and Mercury;Scorpio Moon, Pluto and Saturn and Taurus Venus....hehe it is not easy....
Me and my bf we are together for almost 4 years and in the begging I was very jealous.....but now...absolutely not....

Shining Ray

AGREE AGREE AGREE ....nothing more to say....

About the possessiveness and jealousy I think it all depends......not only how you feel inside but how will make you feel other people......if they understand you I guess they won't do things to disturb you......I soon realized how different people are.....when someone say: "everybody are different" it is just phrase it is not easy to understand it really..and think that most people don't understand it ....ASTROLOGY helped me in this case.....

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I have enjoyed exploring this topic too. I have loved reading the responses. It has been an enjoyable subject. You think it would be uncomfortable to speak about, but I am glad so many are open and honest about their feelings, whether they are jealous or have seen it displayed in partners. It's nice when people understand you, and don't do things to upset you on purpose. Astrology is a big eye opener, and you understand family, friends and relationships. You respect differences. I feel sorry for so many people who miss out on the wonderful insights astrology can offer. If they just took a few hours to look at their natal chart, they would begin to discover things they never even realized about themselves and it affirms so much we already know about ourselves. Astrology is my big love, and it's the one love I don't mind sharing .

Vista said:

My personal experience with Scorpios is that they can be jealous but most of the time will hide it. They are very passive aggressive at times, especially with relationships. They will never forget either...

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Definitely not me then and I always associated my jealousy issues with Pluto... hmmm!

I am very, very vocal about jealousy. I guess its cause the ruler of my chart is in Leo (venus) and my mars is too. If someone even casually hits on my fiance, I tell straight out to back off - he's mine! Roar!

Çedyze said:

Definitely not me then and I always associated my jealousy issues with Pluto... hmmm!

I am very, very vocal about jealousy. I guess its cause the ruler of my chart is in Leo (venus) and my mars is too. If someone even casually hits on my fiance, I tell straight out to back off - he's mine! Roar!

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I'm more quiet and contemplative about my jealousy--I keep it inside at first and it builds--probably not healthy. I slowly give hints and wait for my significant other to figure out that maybe I'm upset about something? I don't like to have to come out and say that I'm jealous--it makes me feel stupid and crazy because I get jealous about anything that intrudes on the relationship or very trivial things.

And if I see ANY woman approach my man, or laugh about something with him or go as far as to HIT on him; I give the most threatening death stare imaginable. I think people know when to back off based on my facial expressions

Çedyze said:

Definitely not me then and I always associated my jealousy issues with Pluto... hmmm!

I am very, very vocal about jealousy. I guess its cause the ruler of my chart is in Leo (venus) and my mars is too. If someone even casually hits on my fiance, I tell straight out to back off - he's mine! Roar!

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I'm more quiet and contemplative about my jealousy--I keep it inside at first and it builds--probably not healthy. I slowly give hints and wait for my significant other to figure out that maybe I'm upset about something? I don't like to have to come out and say that I'm jealous--it makes me feel stupid and crazy because I get jealous about anything that intrudes on the relationship or very trivial things.

And if I see ANY woman approach my man, or laugh about something with him or go as far as to HIT on him; I give the most threatening death stare imaginable. I think people know when to back off based on my facial expressions

Vista said:

I think that sometimes the Venus Pluto can be projected onto partners in term of Jealousy. Does anyone know if Venus sextile or trine Pluto can create these jealous feelings too?

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I have Venus (conjunct Mercury) trine Pluto. I find myself jealous in every relationship I am in, I think this is the case even if I'm not in love with the person, just possessive of my current 'possession'. My Venus in Aquarius would seem to be very detatched on its own, and I do love everyone equally at times, but the trine from Pluto I think adds a possessive quality to it. Maybe also my Venus being in the 2nd house (Taurus house) adds to my loving nature being possessive, 2nd house ruling the personal possessions...

Taurus is possessive as well as covetous. DOes not like the prospect of change. Scorpio is jealous because of needing to control. Cancer is more clingy and needy. Pluto in contact with Venus and/or the Moon......

Neptune Rising said:

I have Venus (conjunct Mercury) trine Pluto. I find myself jealous in every relationship I am in, I think this is the case even if I'm not in love with the person, just possessive of my current 'possession'. My Venus in Aquarius would seem to be very detatched on its own, and I do love everyone equally at times, but the trine from Pluto I think adds a possessive quality to it. Maybe also my Venus being in the 2nd house (Taurus house) adds to my loving nature being possessive, 2nd house ruling the personal possessions...

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I would agree with your personal observations. The trine with Pluto allows you to admit and more likely to handle it better than some other aspects. You may like the fact that others can exhibit jealousy of you, as a proof of their love. Venus in the 2nd house would give you opportunities to acquire the assets of others. Taurus is more possessive and attached.

Haizea said:

I think everybody is jealous and possessive, but some show it more (one thing or both). Some might not even know they are jealous because they have not been through situations that made them feel that way.

Of course, we are then different from each other at the same time. I thought I was not jealous when I was young, and some people show extreme jealousy and possessiveness even before they have experienced any deceit, because they expect it... To generalize, I would have to say that Water would be more jealous and Earth more possessive. But in a really mad state, Air would be the most jealous, and Fire the most possessive.

I am not sure of what I said, but there is something in it.

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I think that when we love someone especially romantically then jealousy comes with the territory as we dont want to lose the love object and that is normal. The reasons that air signs often do not show jealousy is that the feelings are not very deep and so it is not real passion or love at the end of the day.

I am currently with a jealous Aries (sun in the fifth house, I think the self-love life lesson might have something to do with it, in addition to the Aries #1 thing...) At least I have heard that the life lesson of a fifth house sun is learning self-love, and he has said that he struggles with that. What I want to know is - WILL HE EVER GET OVER IT? gawd, lol. So frustrating. Also his moon is in Leo which must contribute. That's April 19, 1975 if you can't read it.

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Great Thread Guys

I have and along with in and can relate entirely to the obsessive nature of jealousy which can very easily become irrational and prefer (oddly enough) possessive partners myself ...

are naturally suspicious and mistrusting and feel compelled to unearth what they perceive as hidden dangers ..threats to theirs or their Loved ones security and therefore wiser not to give them the slightest reason for doubt ... not if you value your health and or sanity ..

An Insecure is not a pretty sight

Sun Scor Moon Aqu Asc Vir said:

are naturally suspicious and mistrusting and feel compelled to unearth what they perceive as hidden dangers ..threats to theirs or their Loved ones security and therefore wiser not to give them the slightest reason for doubt ... not if you value your health and or sanity ..

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Whatever do you mean? I wouldn't know anything about that!

Horus said:

Whatever do you mean? I wouldn't know anything about that!

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I`m Sure

The Venus in Scorpio position is an Achilles for me and has wreaked near havoc on personal relationships re the "Control" element

Jessica Smith`s blog struck a chord in me >

What a Scorp wants most is deep, undying loyalty. This makes relationships and friendships between Scorps undissolvable even when they treat each other badly. Scorps are likely to be a little evil, but it’s realistic: not everyone is good all the time. Can you handle a little evil? If you can’t, find yourself another sign. If you can, you’re our type. Now the only challenge is to hang on for dear life without seeming clingy.

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Taken from how to "win or lose" a Scorpio >

Like all dragons, Scorps have a soft spot, and this soft spot can be hit with Jealousy. Depending on the length of your relationship and the Scorp’s investment in it, you may need more or less Jealousy to hit the spot, but the arrow will eventually go in, and you will lose the Scorp, possibly amid draconian flames, forever.

I just want to warn you before you go about hurting a Scorp. Reread that entry on the Scorpio Woman. If we’re hurt and we take pity on you we might let you get away relatively unscathed, but don’t count on our pity. If you destroy us, we’ll destroy you, and we will heal, but you won’t.

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http://looktouch.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/how-to-win-and-lose-a-scorpio-woman/


I believe Scorps are the worse of the signs posted at the outset of this thread with regard Jealousy and possessiveness if only due to the Mushroom Cloud consequences which ensue ....

That said ? There is no Greater Love than the Love of a and IF you havn`t been Loved by one yet .. you havn`t Lived

She is possessive, but most men with a Scorpio woman in their lives will tell you they want nothing more than to be possessed by her.

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Geezuz, SSMAAV! That's DARK Scorpio stuff! All signs have positive and negative overleaves, so not all Scorpios are this way, and ones who are aren't necessarily so forever. An evolved Scorpio (one who has gained wisdom and self-awareness usually through suffering, from Scorpion to Eagle) has worked through the negative traits with hard lessons and is a potent force for transformation and healing, not nuclear devastation!

I am ashamed to admit it,but I am jealous and possessive too when it comes to friends.As for lovers...hm...we'll see,XD.

But yes I am and sometimes I feel so bad about it,I am also a bit protective and can take their problems very personally and get sad for their problems too.
Anyway,so far I don't think my jealousy and possessiveness has turned against me yet,and I am trying to control it all the time.I just don't wanna lose my place in others' heart.I enjoy being the number 1.
But generally I am not the person with the jealous issues that much,I even admit it but it goes away soon.As for others' possessions,no in such cases I don't get jealous or greedy.

Scorpio Moon
Cancer DC
Capricorn Sun/Asc/Venus

But yeah,I have yet to accept that side of me.I feel like I am troubling people and become clingy...time will show how I will learn to handle that in the future.But generally I give space thankfully,since I need space too.