When will I get over?

AW041

Well-known member
Hi,

For over 6 months I have been trying to get over a lost relationship, cursing myself, cursing him and being depressed. I am now getting done with this approach, I want to move on, because intrinsically, crying for so much over someone is not me, and for my own sanity I just want to move on, leave the past behind and get done with it. However I take 10 steps forward and somehow get pulled back, perhaps because I'm not very happy in other areas of life as well including my marriage. So double/triple whammy for me. I understand the power to heal oneself comes from within and I am really trying.
I asked when will I get over this person? I really want to be in a space to feel I really don't care. No part of me wants him back in my life, even as a friend, but I just want to have days where I don't think of him even .0001%.
What caught my eye is the late ascendant here in this chart, does that mean situation will change, but for good or for bad?
 

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IleneK

Premium Member
The late ascendant points to the matter being a foregone conclusion. One never stops thinking of another completely. It is how you choose to respond to your thoughts/feelings about the friend when they arise that will need to change from within you. Then you can begin to separate from falling into the emotion of it and just observe your feelings. They will continue to quiet down over time. Be patient and kind with yourself.
 

AW041

Well-known member
Thank you Ilene, I agree with you..I just want to reach a stage where this person's existence doesn't matter to me.
This grieving has to stop for me, as of now I know it is not healthy. Most days I am fine, but some days such as yesterday were terrible. I think I need to reach a stage to decide that my wounds aren't going to stop me from person I want to be. It's my journey of self-love, but it is easier said than done :-|
 

IleneK

Premium Member
Thank you Ilene, I agree with you..I just want to reach a stage where this person's existence doesn't matter to me.
This grieving has to stop for me, as of now I know it is not healthy. Most days I am fine, but some days such as yesterday were terrible. I think I need to reach a stage to decide that my wounds aren't going to stop me from person I want to be. It's my journey of self-love, but it is easier said than done :-|


I am glad to hear what you say. Whatever the hurt was, nothing can be done to undo it.

When the suffering of that hurt arises, it is good to let it in; meet it. What you want to cultivate over time, though, is not falling into it, not having recursive thoughts, rethinking it etc. Just let the pain come in. Maybe take in a few slow breaths?

If you do, the pain will subside, go away, just like it came in. Without fail. And the more present you find you are able to be with it when it comes unbidden by you, the more space you will create around it and the easier it will pass.

It's the pushing it away, the aversion, that causes way more pain.


I truly wish you well with this.
 

IleneK

Premium Member
PS The chart shows just how fried you/Merc are from this matter with your friend/Sun, as Merc approaches the Sun in combustion. Moon is right there, too.

If I were to look at when the confusion and distress will begin to quiet more, I would look to when Merc is beyond the Sun's beam or about 17deg ahead of the Sun. That looks to be about the middle of next month. So that is something you might look towards with a sense of greater ease. And also do practice what I suggest: allowing your feelings without becoming them. That is true self-love practice.
 

AW041

Well-known member
PS The chart shows just how fried you/Merc are from this matter with your friend/Sun, as Merc approaches the Sun in combustion. Moon is right there, too.

If I were to look at when the confusion and distress will begin to quiet more, I would look to when Merc is beyond the Sun's beam or about 17deg ahead of the Sun. That looks to be about the middle of next month. So that is something you might look towards with a sense of greater ease. And also do practice what I suggest: allowing your feelings without becoming them. That is true self-love practice.

Thank you very much! I really appreciate your guidance. It does really mean a lot to me :)
 

Irvine

New member
You could also look at the ascendant at 29 degrees as a point where things are about to change hopefully for the better as Venus will move into Sag which will be you new ASC ruler. 1 degree could equal 1 month which could fall in line with IleneK's comment about feeling better(and stronger) the middle of next month.
 
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AW041

Well-known member
When these times come unbidden to you in the next month, if you want to PM me about it, please feel free to.

Thank you so much! I will definitely reach out,
My brain is so fried on so some days, I just need more mental strength to get through such grief giving one, and not loose the plot. I want to be Eyes on the Goal ! Rise and Shine like a Phoenix :)
 
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