Why am I unable to form relationships?

Ariumbay

Member
It seems that everywhere I go, people just run away if not physically, then emotionally. Nobody enjoys my company and tries to avoid me. Even online. It doesn't matter how much I try to be positive and pleasant - people don't come back for seconds.

This has been going on for about 8+ years. Can somebody help explain this?
 

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Hkk

Account Closed
You have to stand on your own. Find your own personality. Be yourself and then ppl will flock to you. It’s your north node Leo. It’s teaching you to grow alone. NN Leo and any north node has obstacles but you need to push thru them as the energy is trying to make you stronger and testing you. You need to find your WILL
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
There could be about +-10 minute difference, since there were problems at birth, but the doctors written this time down, so I can't really tell. :(

Yes..... that's definitely a conundrum. Because in less than that time you would be a Leo Rising. However, the thrust of your personality would still be in your Sun-Mercury-Venus-Pluto stellium since both Mercury (Virgo asc ruler) and the Sun (Leo asc ruler) are participating in the config.

So, could you describe your personality and the way you conceptualize life in the terms most comfortable for you? Try to answer honestly/from the heart without trying to fit yourself into a preconceived box.
 

Ariumbay

Member
I just read up on the qualities of both ascendants and they both fit. So I guess it is a co-ascendant? But I have an allergy to routine and have a conflicting desire to be both noticed and disappear.
 

ashriia

Well-known member
If this issue started 8 years ago, and before that time you didn't have this problem. I think it might be due to saturn's transit on the lower hemisphere of your chart. When its in 3rd it can feel like you have no one to talk to, 4th can be a lonely period also, through the 5th problems meeting people to socialize/date. If this is indeed the transiting planet that is causing the issue, things will lighten up mid 2020. Saturn transits through the lower hemisphere is a time of learning and evolving- not the best time for socializing but the people you do meet will teach you something of value.
 

Ariumbay

Member
Could you mention the traits of the two signs that you identify with?

Well, what can I say - I am lazy, perfectionist, never shut up, stubborn, overanalyze stuff, proud, tend to daydream, crack jokes, anxious all the time, etc... But that's just my view. Hard to tell how I look like to others since they're all 'polite-avoidant'.

I know I'm a mess, but I really changed over time and people still don't like me... It just really hurts.
 

Ariumbay

Member
If this issue started 8 years ago, and before that time you didn't have this problem. I think it might be due to saturn's transit on the lower hemisphere of your chart. When its in 3rd it can feel like you have no one to talk to, 4th can be a lonely period also, through the 5th problems meeting people to socialize/date. If this is indeed the transiting planet that is causing the issue, things will lighten up mid 2020. Saturn transits through the lower hemisphere is a time of learning and evolving- not the best time for socializing but the people you do meet will teach you something of value.

Thanks! I'll look forward to it. P.S. Do you know what Saturn square 4th house would mean?
 

Hkk

Account Closed
Well, what can I say - I am lazy, perfectionist, never shut up, stubborn, overanalyze stuff, proud, tend to daydream, crack jokes, anxious all the time, etc... But that's just my view. Hard to tell how I look like to others since they're all 'polite-avoidant'.

I know I'm a mess, but I really changed over time and people still don't like me... It just really hurts.
Just because ppl don’t like you doesn’t mean ur a mess. You should love yourself more and just be you. Then this wouldn’t be a problem. I know you want to find it in ur chart like it’s some kind of mystery and a ‘cure’ but you’re the cure. Love yourself 😍🥰🥰😍
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Actually, if we leave the chart as is for the moment, it gives us mercury ruler of both the ascendent (how you are presenting yourself to others) as well as the 11th cusp (friends), tying the picture together.
Mercury is in its detriment in sagittarius, and conjunct pluto, whose energy can be described precisely by the words you used to present your problem.
Virgo can seem standoffish and put others off, when actually it is only being its cool, critical self with no harm meant. In the first degree of the sign, you don't have experience with this type of expression and have to learn from scratch. Critical comments to others about their behaviour, what they say, how they are dressed, etc, meant in good will can be taken negatively. And pluto likes to delve. It wants to get to the bottom of things, so may not pick up on where the limit is.
Mercury is also ruler of the 11th, so you like to be able to talk and comunicate with your friends, and here again mercury on pluto starts to prod. And mercury in honest sincere sagittarius wants to be very straightforward and spontaneous, but does it awkwardly because it isn't in its own realm.
It's clear that this is a major emotional concern of yours, because moon is stationed right on the 11th cusp. You need friends, you need their recognition and comfort, more so than others. Almost the entire house of friends is occupied by cancer, sensitive and caring, but when challenged it withdraws back into its shell, and doesn't necessarily give others a chance to reach close.
The mercury/pluto conjunction is sextile mars of action on the one hand, and sextile Uranus of insight and originality and freedom on the other. These two positive aspects will pave the way for you to be able to balance these energies and learn self-control, and to be kind to others and caring without risking your own feelings being hurt. Moon is strong and sextile your ascendent so you can harness your emotions and your expression.
Keep in mind that you may have insight into how things could be done better, but it isn't always opportune to express it, and often it isn't at all easy to express it to others without causing hurt feelings. Ease up a bit, try not to be critical of others, and let your cancer shine through, it's very warm and loving, so don't mask the love, and don't try to "help" others see themselves.
You'll find they respond very positively to you.
 

Ariumbay

Member
Just because ppl don’t like you doesn’t mean ur a mess. You should love yourself more and just be you. Then this wouldn’t be a problem. I know you want to find it in ur chart like it’s some kind of mystery and a ‘cure’ but you’re the cure. Love yourself 😍🥰🥰😍

Thank you for your kind words! 😍
 

Ariumbay

Member
Actually, if we leave the chart as is for the moment, it gives us mercury ruler of both the ascendent (how you are presenting yourself to others) as well as the 11th cusp (friends), tying the picture together.
Mercury is in its detriment in sagittarius, and conjunct pluto, whose energy can be described precisely by the words you used to present your problem.
Virgo can seem standoffish and put others off, when actually it is only being its cool, critical self with no harm meant. In the first degree of the sign, you don't have experience with this type of expression and have to learn from scratch. Critical comments to others about their behaviour, what they say, how they are dressed, etc, meant in good will can be taken negatively. And pluto likes to delve. It wants to get to the bottom of things, so may not pick up on where the limit is.
Mercury is also ruler of the 11th, so you like to be able to talk and comunicate with your friends, and here again mercury on pluto starts to prod. And mercury in honest sincere sagittarius wants to be very straightforward and spontaneous, but does it awkwardly because it isn't in its own realm.
It's clear that this is a major emotional concern of yours, because moon is stationed right on the 11th cusp. You need friends, you need their recognition and comfort, more so than others. Almost the entire house of friends is occupied by cancer, sensitive and caring, but when challenged it withdraws back into its shell, and doesn't necessarily give others a chance to reach close.
The mercury/pluto conjunction is sextile mars of action on the one hand, and sextile Uranus of insight and originality and freedom on the other. These two positive aspects will pave the way for you to be able to balance these energies and learn self-control, and to be kind to others and caring without risking your own feelings being hurt. Moon is strong and sextile your ascendent so you can harness your emotions and your expression.
Keep in mind that you may have insight into how things could be done better, but it isn't always opportune to express it, and often it isn't at all easy to express it to others without causing hurt feelings. Ease up a bit, try not to be critical of others, and let your cancer shine through, it's very warm and loving, so don't mask the love, and don't try to "help" others see themselves.
You'll find they respond very positively to you.

Thanks! That clears things a lot.
 
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