It's interesting that you have moon-square Pluto and Mom has moon conjunct Pluto.
Do you/did you know your mother's mother? Sometimes planetary combinations run in families. I wonder what your mother's relationship with your grandmother was like.
You don't mention in what way your mother suffers.
Your Venus conjuncts your mother's sun- Venus, and your moons are conjunct, so this would suggest a deep level of love and affection. But your moon conjuncts Chiron, suggesting a fair bit of emotional pain (Chiron) in connection with your mother (moon.)
(The moon can move 6 degrees in either direction with a default noon birth time, but it looks like Mom's conjunctions would still pertain.)
With her Aries sun-Venus and exact Mars opposition, I wonder if Mom ever got to be the independent "woman warrior" archetype that she has in her. If not, I have seen Aries women living lives of despair, because they were never meant to be quietly domesticated.
Just as you reached a profound level of understanding with your mother-- that only she can be responsible for her own life-- I think you can reach this same understanding with your tendency to want to rescue men who seem troubled. Especially if the younger man in your life now is actually looking for a more mature woman as a mother surrogate.
<div> Hi, thank you so much for your time. I know I have been talking about a lot below, but I just realised (it ‘clicked’) these things the last couple of weeks (which have been horrendous), and somehow I see an explanation for the patterns I noticed in regards to the guys I meet.
My
mom also had troubles with her mom (my
grandmother’s chart, and my
maternal great grandmother). I don’t know my grandmother very well. I have heard lots of stories though, but always coloured from my mother’s perspective. When I was younger, my mom (and dad) always used to say that I’m exactly like my grandmother, which I considered an insult and humiliating. I have had a lot of difficulties with this. What my mother told me: My grandmother was not that ‘homey’ (e.g. cooking, cleaning etc.) and was very often ill. My mother had to take care of the household. My mother had a very troubled childhood, and also suffered a lot of hardships later on in her life. Basically, she has a hard life (that’s the way she puts it). She also suffers physically, with a lot of joint and muscle pain (back/neck/ribs/…).
My mother always portrays herself as the victim and cannot let go of her past hardships. I cannot offer my love to my mom in a deeper meaning, only through gifts for example, or good grades when I was younger, or doing chores. I’m not sure if she ever really accepts hugs and kisses (if she lets this affection seep through to her core). I cannot console her for the life of me, she literally pushes me away, she is unreachable, she does not want help.
My mother is also very dependent on my father (and vice versa) (see
father’s chart), even though I see so much fire in her spirit and soul. I really think she has that warrior-aspect, but it seems to be caged. My parents keep one another in a very tight grip. It’s not something I have access to. I am an only child. For example, if I offer help to my mom, she will not accept it and ask my dad’s help. They have a huge influence on one another.
Now, about the
guys. I have always been attracted to softer guys whom have ‘depth’ somehow (what I sense), with a problematic (most often home) environment. More than half of the time, they also turn out to be gay. What I mentioned above with my mom is connected to this theme. I think this is why I am always attracted to these guys, who do accept my affection and love, but then I always come to a point where I realise that I’m not getting a lot out of the relationship and I break it off (or they just ‘vanish’).
I find it very striking that I am now talking to two guys, one of which is so much younger (6y), and the other older (7y). The
Young Guy (
chart) is very interested in me and is more affectionate (more empathy). However, he is not really emotionally mature, but is somehow conscious of this. I’m not able to see if my affection for him is more motherly affection, or real love between two equal partners. He has said that being together seems ‘wrong’ to him, because he’d put me on a pedestal and can learn me nothing (given that I’m older). He sees himself as the student, and me as the teacher (ironically, I’m also a college lecturer and he is a med student). I do feel quite an attraction to The Young Guy, because his presence is calming to me, like he won’t run away (my mother never sits still for too long) and has patience. There is something in him (physical) that also draws me to him.
I also met a guy who’s a lot older (
chart) than me (a colleague) who gave me a remark that I’m ‘too much’, too perfectionist and need to relax because it caused him stress. I found this remark very hurtful, because I always have good intentions, but also realized that this was true, and that my perfectionism was causing trouble in my life, I see it as an addiction.
The Older Guy only talks about himself and does not show any affection at all. He is kind to me however and seems to value my presence. It seems like they (Young & Older Guy) represent two parts in me; the social, nurturing, affectionate and ‘needy’ part (Young Guy) and the ‘hermit’-part who is somewhat isolated and on her own (Older Guy).
Lastly, I have never really gotten along with my peers (lots of jealousy towards me, they look at me from a distance); it’s better with older people (or for once now, this younger guy). I don’t have a lot of friends (I’d say 2 or 3, Young Guy included). I often feel like a hermit. I have troubles with my friend relationships, I never really feel included, I’m not part of a friend group, so I always feel like an outsider to my 2-3 friends who do have that inner circle; as if I were their counsellor or so. I have an urge to find ‘my tribe’, people who are on the same frequency as me, but I cannot seem to find them. I also have a tendency to go too much in depth with someone. The Young Guy told me this (quite harshly and said I was always ‘second guessing’ him) and I now realise that this might be threatening to most people, while I see it as a help for my friend.
I think a lot of what I've told goes back to this Moon Square Pluto. I read about it last night, and it was so striking!
Do you see anything in my relatives' charts that indicate the hardships I am experiencing?
What should be my priority in all of this? I am really eager to find a new direction in my life based on my realisations, and stop getting stuck in the same depressing patterns. Where lies my strength to overcome this once and for all? 
