I don't know how to frame this

My question pertains to synastry, but it has a traditional bent. I have been doing astrology for over 10 years, a big chunk of which has been traditional. So I am trying to understand what's happening more through that lens.


Please view the attached images. Sorry for not deactivating the outer the planets, my software wasn't behaving today -- just ignore them. The first image "trans" are his current transits. The second one "syn" is our synastry chart. As you can see there are many relationship polarities. His Jupiter is exalted opposing my Jupiter in fall. Our Suns oppose (I'm Cap he's Cancer). Our Venuses oppose: his is in fall in Virgo, mine exalted in Pisces. Our Mars also oppose.



So here's what's happening... we are both having Jupiter/Saturn transits. My Sun/Jupiter in Capricorn is currently in trans conj with Saturn and Jupiter (I'm having my Jupiter return). These oppose his Sun/Jupiter. Currently, Saturn is opposing his Sun to the degree.


He is feeling the contracting, condensing, limiting and disciplining force of a domicile Saturn opposing his Sun. Not to mention, Saturn rules his afflicted Moon in the 2nd house. Normally he has very good fortune and wisdom, always getting what he needs when he needs it, never having to live without. He doesn't see it because his Jupiter is combust, but it's there. In games of chance he always wins. If he is about to lose his home, another appears... usually at discount. When he travels, he has places to stay for free. Jupiter expands anything he touches.



Anyway... I'm saying all this because, recently the Saturn transit has been making him feel the opposite of all that. He feels like his life is turning to ****. The problem in our relationship is that, because I'm a Capricorn with my Sun/Jupiter in similar positions to the current active transits, it looks like the heavy energy of contraction is being caused by me, and that I am the one limiting him or making him lose himself, when really he would be having this transit anyway.


So now our relationship is on the rocks. This has manifested as him "buckling down" and trying to get really clear on prioritizing his future, while sort of distancing himself from me in response to this energy. His exalted Jupiter is feeling limited by transiting opposing Saturn. He thinks it's me but I'm not doing it. The result is that he is thinking of going his own way.



I'm wondering how to rectify this, or should I even bother? The planets do their thing. Lord Saturn has been particularly cruel to me over the past year and a half. The global pandemic transit of Saturn/Mars (and Pluto, if you're into modern) were on my Sun for a good 3 months there. During that time I got severely ill and almost died. Saturn on my South Node and my out of sect Mars really amplified all this.



He on the other hand has no such afflictions. If anything, his chart is "too good" and permits a life of luck, good fortune, blessings, expansion, and perhaps excessive complacency. When met with suffering, he can barely handle it. Now Saturn is opposing his Sun and he wants to run.



What can be done?

Sorry that you're going through a rough patch.

Would you mind posting your charts individually, minus the biwheels? I would find that easier to read. If your software permits it's OK to post the transits on the outside minus the biwheel format. You can do this at Astrodienst www.astro.com, which also allows you to shut off the trans-Saturnians.

Here you go.


Mine is #1, his is #2


Thank you so much in advance.

If you want a more legible free chart that excludes the trans-Saturnians, I strongly recommend Astrodienst at www.astro.com. I'm not clear what the outer biwheel means.

So sorry that you became ill.

If a man "wants to run," there's not much you can do to stop him. I assume you have no children/joint assets? I ask because if you've essentially got a common law marriage, there's a different calculus than if he simply packs up his stuff and heads out. Is couples counseling (via zoom these days)an option?

Either you are a paragon of emotional restraint despite a broken heart, or you are exhausted by his behavior and ready to get your own equanimity back in order.

Would you describe your man as a narcissist? Cancer can be either the nurturing parent or the perpetual child, waiting for others to meet his needs. With his moon in detriment in Capricorn, does he freely give to others the generosity that he accepts from them? When you were so ill, was he emotionally there for you? It doesn't sound like he's providing you with much material security.

I think it's interesting that you both have sun-Jupiter conjunctions.

I have Jupiter in its fall in Capricorn as well, and I haven't found it to be an extreme hardship. Mostly a love of old things, traditions, &c. Perhaps Jupiter still retains some of its beneficence, even when constrained.

I can well believe that you are weathering transits better now than he is.