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  #1  
Unread 05-09-2012, 09:55 AM
labelledujour labelledujour is offline
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A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

Background story:
After dealing with my depression, I had to deal with my mum's abusive behavior which had me finally moving out with my fiance. This happened around 2 months ago. My relationship with my mother has always been very difficult, since no one of us was ever willing to back down. My quadruple Virgo father (Sun/Moon/Mercury/Asc) has always backed off during their arguments, while my Leo Sun/Sag Moon/Pisces ASC sis used all her Saturn in Libra energy (she's currently facing her Saturn return) to deal with her, since my mother was even more abusive to her than to me. My sis has moved out, too. Now my mother is slowly turning to my father, who's currently getting his pension after he faced his 2nd Saturn return last year, since my sis and I are not around her. I want to forgive her since it's psychologically the only way out for me, but it's hard.

Now I'm asking for help via the charts because hopefully they will help me pinpoint what's the motive of my mother behind all this and finally find even a common ground between me and her so that I can finally let go of the pain she caused all these years. The fact we both have a Moon-Pluto conjunction and her Pluto conjunct my SN in Leo isn't any help at all, really. With her Mars in Aries squaring both my Sun and ASC I do think she tries to impose her authority on me. The scary thing is that we share many common Moon aspects...uck!

If you want the charts for my dad and sis, or anymore additional charts or something, let me know. Thank you very, very much for even taking the time to look. 1st chart is mine, 2nd my mother's, the 3rd one our synastry, 4th our composite.

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  #2  
Unread 05-09-2012, 08:51 PM
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Victoria Victoria is offline
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Re: A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

The fact that you have the 3 planets in 12th house,
conjunct her merc and venus in capricorn suggests to me she might
have been quite hard on you and stubborn. Perhaps wanting to be open and talk and have her way, when it is in your 12th house of the hidden.
It is also opposing your nature, since capricorn is the opposite of cancer.
I'd say there is alot of difference in your nature.

I myself have alot (!) of issues with my mother, and you and me arnt born that far apart from eachother. I think most of the issues with my mother comes from those 3 planets (though in my chart they are in the 4th house, which in your chart is empty). I'm sorry I cant be of more help,
just really feel your situation, you know?
Hope you discover more, and good luck!
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  #3  
Unread 05-09-2012, 09:27 PM
MaeMae MaeMae is offline
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Re: A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

labelle - sympathies to you. i have same mother issues ~
the only way i've discovered "the out" is to forgive myself for wanting my mom to be different than she is and to ACCEPT but SEPARATE.
non astro principle ~
"it's important to know your strengths, but more important to know your weaknesses."
Mom is 83.5 and I'm 51. Spent a good 40 years wondering why she wasn't Carol Brady (who truly raised me via the t.v.). One day, a few years back, I read a Khalil Gabran poem about children.
When you understand you are no longer your mother's "job," but rather your own deciding electorate, things will ease.
none of us is superhuman robot who can readjust emotion from a 12 piece chart.
i think surrender and detachment of your truth will get you farther.
as richard prior once said, "i'd have better luck getting free food at a chinese restaurant" when talking about his dealer not fronting him for coke.
moms hold all the cards until you lay your hand down and leave the game.
do you have moon pluto aspects?

Last edited by MaeMae; 05-09-2012 at 09:45 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 05-09-2012, 10:05 PM
labelledujour labelledujour is offline
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Re: A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Victoria View Post
The fact that you have the 3 planets in 12th house,
conjunct her merc and venus in capricorn suggests to me she might
have been quite hard on you and stubborn. Perhaps wanting to be open and talk and have her way, when it is in your 12th house of the hidden.
It is also opposing your nature, since capricorn is the opposite of cancer.
I'd say there is alot of difference in your nature.

I myself have alot (!) of issues with my mother, and you and me arnt born that far apart from eachother. I think most of the issues with my mother comes from those 3 planets (though in my chart they are in the 4th house, which in your chart is empty). I'm sorry I cant be of more help,
just really feel your situation, you know?
Hope you discover more, and good luck!
I knew the 12th house would be quite the trouble! Thank you for your insight. Ruler of my 4th house is Venus and it squares Pluto, so it's a 'ell of a mess!! We're different, yet very stubborn, because we don't like to surrender!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaeMae View Post
labelle - sympathies to you. i have same mother issues ~
the only way i've discovered "the out" is to forgive myself for wanting my mom to be different than she is and to ACCEPT but SEPARATE.
non astro principle ~
"it's important to know your strengths, but more important to know your weaknesses."
Mom is 83.5 and I'm 51. Spent a good 40 years wondering why she wasn't Carol Brady (who truly raised me via the t.v.). One day, a few years back, I read a Khalil Gabran poem about children.
When you understand you are no longer your mother's "job," but rather your own deciding electorate, things will ease.
none of us is superhuman robot who can readjust emotion from a 12 piece chart.
i think surrender and detachment of your truth will get you farther.
as richard prior once said, "i'd have better luck getting free food at a chinese restaurant" when talking about his dealer not fronting him for coke.
moms hold all the cards until you lay your hand down and leave the game.
do you have moon pluto aspects?
I have Moon conj Pluto in Scorpio and both conj my Midheaven. I don't expect her to be different and I really tried to appeal to her good sides, only that actually she did conceal them too well. I just have to realize that she's who she is, accept that and move on. She made me believe I was her 'creation', but hey, ain't I human being with my own free will? Thank you very, very much!
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  #5  
Unread 05-09-2012, 10:19 PM
MaeMae MaeMae is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by labelledujour View Post
I knew the 12th house would be quite the trouble! Thank you for your insight. Ruler of my 4th house is Venus and it squares Pluto, so it's a 'ell of a mess!! We're different, yet very stubborn, because we don't like to surrender!



I have Moon conj Pluto in Scorpio and both conj my Midheaven. I don't expect her to be different and I really tried to appeal to her good sides, only that actually she did conceal them too well. I just have to realize that she's who she is, accept that and move on. She made me believe I was her 'creation', but hey, ain't I human being with my own free will? Thank you very, very much!
please read up on Hades Moon. Know that you will never break the shackles of mother unless' like a surfer or body surfer, you go under the wave to get ti the calm side. letting it crash down upon you, time and time again, is the purest definition of insanity for Hades Moon.
We are all so much more powerful than the wave.
~ mae (moon-pluto square virgo, mars cancer, venus and a bunch of other c*rap in pisces or neptune ruled ~ the real problem point)
p.s.
nothing inherently subborn about 12th house. it is the house of illusion and taking blows for the team.
your Hades Moon will speak volumes to you if you understand its message.

Last edited by MaeMae; 05-09-2012 at 10:23 PM.
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  #6  
Unread 05-09-2012, 10:58 PM
virgo18 virgo18 is offline
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Re: A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

Hello Cancer girl.

I have some similar issue with my mother, and I can relate that on the aspects your Moon receives.

First: Your Moon is in Scorpio. I have seen people who has the same Moon sign as yours, and its very common that they tell they have controlling mothers, verbally abusive, physically violent, or that they abandon them.

Moon square Venus: tells that your worthiness feeling has been threatened by your mother's mood swings through your whole life. Maybe she told you very harsh words when she got mad when you were little. "That's my case" I don't know if its yours.
Moon square Mars: Commanding, Rude, strict mother.
Moon conjunct Pluto: In your case it will only multiply the effect of Moon in Scorpio.

You should ignore your mother's mood-swings, don't take them personal.
If you feel better moving out of your house, and stay away from your mother for a while, do it.
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  #7  
Unread 05-10-2012, 01:40 AM
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StillOne StillOne is offline
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Re: A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

I think it's so interesting to look at all those charts... They do tell a story when put together. I'm new to astrology so bear with me. I can relate a bit since I'm Cancer Ascendant and have to forgive myself and others daily. Not easy.

You are quite a bit more "watery" than your mother who only has one planet in water (Singleton) and it's challenged by a t-square and an opposition. Making me wonder how emotional she really is.

Looking at the synastry chart, your Sun, Moon and Merc are all challenged by interesting and rather tough planets in her chart: Merc, Mars & Uranus.

Looking at the composite, there is an absence of water here save for the Ascendant... Interesting that there exists the mystic rectangle and minor grand trine. Maybe as time passes things will smooth out and there can be a sense of harmony and balance once you recognize her for who she really is and have forgiven her and yourself.

In your chart you have 5 or 6 planets that are in cadent houses. I'm wondering if your Moon/Pluto conj is actually in the 10th angular. This is a rather profound position for Scorpio since it would make it quite visible. It seems you have studied your chart quite a bit. You certainly have some interesting placements that need to be understood. I wish you the best.
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Unread 05-10-2012, 12:07 PM
labelledujour labelledujour is offline
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Re: A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillOne View Post
I think it's so interesting to look at all those charts... They do tell a story when put together. I'm new to astrology so bear with me. I can relate a bit since I'm Cancer Ascendant and have to forgive myself and others daily. Not easy.

You are quite a bit more "watery" than your mother who only has one planet in water (Singleton) and it's challenged by a t-square and an opposition. Making me wonder how emotional she really is.

Looking at the synastry chart, your Sun, Moon and Merc are all challenged by interesting and rather tough planets in her chart: Merc, Mars & Uranus.

Looking at the composite, there is an absence of water here save for the Ascendant... Interesting that there exists the mystic rectangle and minor grand trine. Maybe as time passes things will smooth out and there can be a sense of harmony and balance once you recognize her for who she really is and have forgiven her and yourself.

In your chart you have 5 or 6 planets that are in cadent houses. I'm wondering if your Moon/Pluto conj is actually in the 10th angular. This is a rather profound position for Scorpio since it would make it quite visible. It seems you have studied your chart quite a bit. You certainly have some interesting placements that need to be understood. I wish you the best.
Thank you very, very much, dear. Well, my mother and father have a singleton water planet (my dad's is an 11th house Uranus in Cancer) and my sis, apart from the Pisces Asc, she has no watery planets. You can see, then, how ot of place I feel within my family. I think my Pluto is actually angular, since it's been dominant in my life. I dunno what having most of my planets in cadent houses means, but it's quite the hell, nonetheless. I know I can't change her, so I'd better accept her and do my own thing. She doesn't even know about the new job I'm trying to get, because she thinks that only the job I have a degree for is right for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by virgo18 View Post
Hello Cancer girl.

I have some similar issue with my mother, and I can relate that on the aspects your Moon receives.

First: Your Moon is in Scorpio. I have seen people who has the same Moon sign as yours, and its very common that they tell they have controlling mothers, verbally abusive, physically violent, or that they abandon them.

Moon square Venus: tells that your worthiness feeling has been threatened by your mother's mood swings through your whole life. Maybe she told you very harsh words when she got mad when you were little. "That's my case" I don't know if its yours.
Moon square Mars: Commanding, Rude, strict mother.
Moon conjunct Pluto: In your case it will only multiply the effect of Moon in Scorpio.

You should ignore your mother's mood-swings, don't take them personal.
If you feel better moving out of your house, and stay away from your mother for a while, do it.
Thank you very, very, very much. She would be, especially when little, very threatening towards me, to the extent she would throw me out of the house. My sis has a mutable Moon-Venus square (Sag-Virgo respectively) and a Moon trine Mars in Leo. Both my sis and I still feel threatened by my mother's mood swings and emotional blackmail. The thing is that to the others she tries to appear as the perfect mother with perfectly raised kids, concealing the fact I have been in a rehab and that she kicked me out of the house at 17 due to which I lived on the streets for 3 weeks working in a fast food chain.
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  #9  
Unread 05-10-2012, 12:08 PM
labelledujour labelledujour is offline
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Re: A Cancer trying to forgive her mother...

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaeMae View Post
please read up on Hades Moon. Know that you will never break the shackles of mother unless' like a surfer or body surfer, you go under the wave to get ti the calm side. letting it crash down upon you, time and time again, is the purest definition of insanity for Hades Moon.
We are all so much more powerful than the wave.
~ mae (moon-pluto square virgo, mars cancer, venus and a bunch of other c*rap in pisces or neptune ruled ~ the real problem point)
p.s.
nothing inherently subborn about 12th house. it is the house of illusion and taking blows for the team.
your Hades Moon will speak volumes to you if you understand its message.
Thank you very, very much!!! Shall do my homework on Hades Moon, but your description of it seems to fit very well.
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