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  #1  
Unread 04-26-2019, 10:13 AM
GeminiSun GeminiSun is offline
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Question Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Unread 04-26-2019, 12:32 PM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

I think it's your Venus square Neptune and Venus square Uranus. Venus sq Neptune can make you fall easily, see all these dreamy qualities in people that either aren't there at all (your projecting your fantasy man and his qualities onto the men you meet in real life) or only see the good things and not the faults. You delude yourself in love. You fall for unattainable guys (maybe they're married, live too far away, fall for celebs you will never meet, or you have the perfect guy in your head and won't settle for anything else/anything realistic. You see things in love through rose-colored glasses and end up getting hurt when reality sets in. Venus square Uranus makes your relationships unstable, they end as quickly as they start for any number of reasons, you attract Aquarian guys (who are usually very independent and hard to pin down), etc. Read up on those two placements, because I bet you will find they fit you to a tee.

I'm new to astrology though, it seems like most people born in 1993 have those two placements and Venus sextile Saturn (which you also have). But not everyone born in 1993 has such relationship problems. Maybe a more experienced astrologer can explain that, because it seems a little unrealistic. I'm sure very many people born in the 90s aren't nearly as long-term and stable when it comes to relationships as some of the older generations, but I know people born in 93 who are stable, not "naive" in love, and have been in a long-term relationship for years. And yet they'd have these Ven sq Uranus and Nep aspects?

By the way, I'm sorry you cried and that you're going through this. Stay strong. I'm sure you will find someone. Just start looking in better places and don't fall head over heels so suddenly or with anyone before you know for sure they want something serious. Best of luck!
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  #3  
Unread 04-26-2019, 03:01 PM
GeminiSun GeminiSun is offline
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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I think it's your Venus square Neptune and Venus square Uranus. Venus sq Neptune can make you fall easily, see all these dreamy qualities in people that either aren't there at all (your projecting your fantasy man and his qualities onto the men you meet in real life) or only see the good things and not the faults. You delude yourself in love. You fall for unattainable guys (maybe they're married, live too far away, fall for celebs you will never meet, or you have the perfect guy in your head and won't settle for anything else/anything realistic. You see things in love through rose-colored glasses and end up getting hurt when reality sets in. Venus square Uranus makes your relationships unstable, they end as quickly as they start for any number of reasons, you attract Aquarian guys (who are usually very independent and hard to pin down), etc. Read up on those two placements, because I bet you will find they fit you to a tee.

I'm new to astrology though, it seems like most people born in 1993 have those two placements and Venus sextile Saturn (which you also have). But not everyone born in 1993 has such relationship problems. Maybe a more experienced astrologer can explain that, because it seems a little unrealistic. I'm sure very many people born in the 90s aren't nearly as long-term and stable when it comes to relationships as some of the older generations, but I know people born in 93 who are stable, not "naive" in love, and have been in a long-term relationship for years. And yet they'd have these Ven sq Uranus and Nep aspects?

By the way, I'm sorry you cried and that you're going through this. Stay strong. I'm sure you will find someone. Just start looking in better places and don't fall head over heels so suddenly or with anyone before you know for sure they want something serious. Best of luck!
Thank you for your input and insightful post!! Looking up that Venus Square Neptune..... It really fits me perfectly.

But yeah, I'm okay and it's fine and whatever, I wasn't looking for a connection or a relationship or anything. I just randomly felt this connection after like literal years of not having any romantic feelings for anyone and got carried away and a little hurt when reality slapped me in the face.

But thanks again for your input. I will always be very, very wary of that Venus Square Neptune now. As for relationships, eh, I think after these recent events I'm just going to stick to working on myself more and see what happens in the future.
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Unread 04-26-2019, 06:03 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

Gemini, you also have moon square Saturn, so you tend to be hard on yourself and feel alone and get depressed easily. Your mars is strong and elevated, its generous and sociable in Leo, sextile your sun, so you are strong. Your scorpio ascendent is quite sexy, and your sun in the 8th puts an emphasis on that, so you may want to consider what type of signals you are giving out to men, you attract what you put out.
What PurpleReign says is very good advice.
Be choosy, why not? And wait until you know them before you start making intimate considerations. Your guy will come along when the time is right.
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Unread 04-26-2019, 06:07 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

Just a quick note to PurpleReign, those born in the same period will have similar Neptune and Saturn in their natal charts, but Venus moves quickly, so very few will actually share a Neptune/venus or Neptune/saturn aspect.
This explains why not everyone will have the same type of relationship problems.
The faster planets like sun/moon/mercury/venus/mars move towards or away from the slower Neptune/saturn/pluto/uranus.
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Unread 04-26-2019, 06:52 PM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Gemini, you also have moon square Saturn, so you tend to be hard on yourself and feel alone and get depressed easily. Your mars is strong and elevated, its generous and sociable in Leo, sextile your sun, so you are strong. Your scorpio ascendent is quite sexy, and your sun in the 8th puts an emphasis on that, so you may want to consider what type of signals you are giving out to men, you attract what you put out.
What PurpleReign says is very good advice.
Be choosy, why not? And wait until you know them before you start making intimate considerations. Your guy will come along when the time is right.
I know I come off very sexy and nothing like I actually am. Especially my dressing style. But he knew me. We've talked. I never tried to be like sexual with him (not my thing outside of a committed relationship) or anything like that. We just talked and I felt a connection. He seemed very kind, sweet, kind of dorky in a cute way... I don't know. Jupiter went Retrograde and everything I thought I knew about him was so wrong. And I don't know why I care so much! But I'll get over it.
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Unread 04-26-2019, 08:13 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

Sorry, what was it that happened that opened your eyes?
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Unread 04-27-2019, 01:05 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Originally Posted by GeminiSun View Post
It's like... It really, really *****. I haven't trusted anyone in a very long time and I was so delusional and excited you guys. I don't know, like even the littlest things would excite me. But you know, I do have very like 'watchful' or 'observant' placements I guess, and oh my gosh, I thought this dude genuinely liked me and wanted to get to know me more and build a connection since we seemed to click but then I found out that he's no different then like 85% of my generation. Basically "dealing" with me and gosh knows how many other people on the side, like one of those serial daters or flirters or "connection igniters" (LMFAO) and then like they would ultimately date whoever is the "best option" for them.
Bolded that "85% of my generation" part because if you're young and you date men, then yes, you're going to be dealing with that a lot. And I think it's even worse with gay men. Straight men can be players, too, but they seem to get that tendency reigned in a bit more when they're trying to appeal to women. Basically: not wanting to make a commitment is very much a young person thing, even more so with young men, even more especially so with young gay men. (I really wonder how all the gay men I know who are in committed monogamous relationships got there....)

Being a straight woman who *also* has Venus square Neptune... I've had my share of guys who either didn't want to commit, or had some other immature Venus/Neptune thing going on (like financial irresponsibility or substance abuse or just plain flakiness). My big thing seems to be, I attract guys who are much more into drinking, smoking weed, and such than I am or would ever want to be. And that's the grown up version. When I was younger, I dated one guy who was a flat out drug addict (but in complete denial) and another who was addicted to spending money. Neither worked out, to say the least. And that's not even mentioning the cheating....

The saving grace is, as you get older, you learn to navigate that better, and people your age are also maturing, so you're more likely to have available partners who show the mature manifestation of Venus/Neptune: being creative, romantic, artistic, but not at the expense of putting down roots.

However, your generation has a double whammy: Neptune and Uranus conjunct. Everyone your age has some extra confusion in some area of life. For people who have that conjunction in a relationship house, or in aspect with their Venus, or both, relationships are going to be a key area for it to play out. And since you yourself have Venus in square to that conjunction, everyone your age trips that Venus to Neptune/Uranus square for you.

Best case, you could wind up with a partner who's very insightful, creative, and quirky. But, you're also very prone to seeing people with rose colored glasses, brushing off serious defects in them, and attracting people who have some serious defects. Probably, your best relationship in the long run will be with someone who's had some of those serious defects but done some serious self work... just like you're doing now.

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It's gotten to the point where I don't care anymore. Like I am so hurt but I'm just going to continue to focus on me, bettering myself, evolving in life and heading towards my dreams. It just ***** that I've had so much personal advancement and blessings in my life the last year or so and then something like this has to happen to kind of dim my shine and make me upset but I have to keep it moving.
These are your feelings, and you're working through them. That's the important thing.

Evolving in life and heading towards your dreams is another way to use that Venus square. All of your chart, really, but I see that Venus square to the conjunction in that statement. Venus isn't just about how we relate to others. It's also about how we relate to ourselves. And that may be what you need to save your energy for right now.

Self work is, as you've probably found, a lot of work, a lot of emotional labor. Relationships also require emotional labor. If you're doing a lot of self work, you may not have the energy to spare for the emotional labor of having a relationship. And that's okay.

It sounds to me like you have a vision for what you want in a relationship, and it's fine to have that vision as a goal. It's also fine to set that goal aside in favor of a more pressing goal. There will come a time when you're done with being so intensely self focused and have some energy to spare for a real relationship.

Here's another truth: we attract the people we're ready for. If you find yourself attracting unavailable people, that probably means you yourself are not really available, emotionally. If and when you are available, you're more likely to find someone who genuinely is.

Last edited by Osamenor; 04-27-2019 at 01:07 AM. Reason: typo
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  #9  
Unread 04-27-2019, 01:40 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Bolded that "85% of my generation" part because if you're young and you date men, then yes, you're going to be dealing with that a lot. And I think it's even worse with gay men. Straight men can be players, too, but they seem to get that tendency reigned in a bit more when they're trying to appeal to women. Basically: not wanting to make a commitment is very much a young person thing, even more so with young men, even more especially so with young gay men. (I really wonder how all the gay men I know who are in committed monogamous relationships got there....)

Being a straight woman who *also* has Venus square Neptune... I've had my share of guys who either didn't want to commit, or had some other immature Venus/Neptune thing going on (like financial irresponsibility or substance abuse or just plain flakiness). My big thing seems to be, I attract guys who are much more into drinking, smoking weed, and such than I am or would ever want to be. And that's the grown up version. When I was younger, I dated one guy who was a flat out drug addict (but in complete denial) and another who was addicted to spending money. Neither worked out, to say the least. And that's not even mentioning the cheating....

The saving grace is, as you get older, you learn to navigate that better, and people your age are also maturing, so you're more likely to have available partners who show the mature manifestation of Venus/Neptune: being creative, romantic, artistic, but not at the expense of putting down roots.

However, your generation has a double whammy: Neptune and Uranus conjunct. Everyone your age has some extra confusion in some area of life. For people who have that conjunction in a relationship house, or in aspect with their Venus, or both, relationships are going to be a key area for it to play out. And since you yourself have Venus in square to that conjunction, everyone your age trips that Venus to Neptune/Uranus square for you.

Best case, you could wind up with a partner who's very insightful, creative, and quirky. But, you're also very prone to seeing people with rose colored glasses, brushing off serious defects in them, and attracting people who have some serious defects. Probably, your best relationship in the long run will be with someone who's had some of those serious defects but done some serious self work... just like you're doing now.


These are your feelings, and you're working through them. That's the important thing.

Evolving in life and heading towards your dreams is another way to use that Venus square. All of your chart, really, but I see that Venus square to the conjunction in that statement. Venus isn't just about how we relate to others. It's also about how we relate to ourselves. And that may be what you need to save your energy for right now.

Self work is, as you've probably found, a lot of work, a lot of emotional labor. Relationships also require emotional labor. If you're doing a lot of self work, you may not have the energy to spare for the emotional labor of having a relationship. And that's okay.

It sounds to me like you have a vision for what you want in a relationship, and it's fine to have that vision as a goal. It's also fine to set that goal aside in favor of a more pressing goal. There will come a time when you're done with being so intensely self focused and have some energy to spare for a real relationship.

Here's another truth: we attract the people we're ready for. If you find yourself attracting unavailable people, that probably means you yourself are not really available, emotionally. If and when you are available, you're more likely to find someone who genuinely is.
I don't think a 100% gay men has ever shown any interest in me. And my first boyfriend claimed to be "mostly straight." Maybe that's the problem.

Anyway, your post makes a lot of sense. Especially that last line! I feel way better. This has been going on for a few days now. I am so happy that I didn't get too invested or too delusional. But you're right, not ready for a relationship right now.
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Unread 04-27-2019, 10:43 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

I would also like to focus on this statement you made:

We ALL know people like that. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but that's NOT for me. I don't like to be an "option." I am #1 sweety. I don't do the whole serial dating thing. If I connect with someone, I like to get to know them exclusively, see where it goes, whatever - and I just found out he's such a playboy. Ugh. And he soooooo didn't come off like that. He was sooooo cute and sweet and not even my usual type but that's why I liked him so much. And I don't even KNOW why I am so attached to this guy who I honestly did not even like truly know.


I feel like this bolded portion of that paragraph is your Moon square Saturn, talking. That square is exact, and it is intensified by Pluto in the first, backing the Moon.

It stood out to me because it feels like you are overly sensitive to possibly being dismissed, or underestimated, or not the favourite one, etc.

Young people do date a few people at once, just briefly, while they decide if there is one person they want to be 'exclusive' with. If you do want to find that special person, you might have to learn to multitask in that way too, BRIEFLY.

No one says you have to be sexually active with multiple people, but you may have to go on a few dates or more, with someone you are interested in, before they agree to be exclusive with you. I know that is awkward and uncomfortable, especially with challenges to your Moon from Saturn and Pluto---but it might be an important thing for you to sort out for yourself.

If someone wants to string you along, lead you on, but keep too many others on the line too, then forget it. But you do need to date them for long enough to see if you mutually agree to become a couple.

The problem with that Venus squaring the Neptune and Uranus is that the Neptune may lead you into feelings of love quicker than some are able to reciprocate---then the Uranus square kicks in and cuts it all off, before they can catch up to your level of feeling.

Finding a balance between the two emotional responses might be a positive goal for you. Maybe learning to 'date', even dating people who don't want to immediately settle down yet, and doing so without needing to make a deep emotional connection. Just doing so to have fun, enjoy another's company and enjoy your own personal growth.
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Unread 04-27-2019, 11:20 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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I would also like to focus on this statement you made:

We ALL know people like that. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but that's NOT for me. I don't like to be an "option." I am #1 sweety. I don't do the whole serial dating thing. If I connect with someone, I like to get to know them exclusively, see where it goes, whatever - and I just found out he's such a playboy. Ugh. And he soooooo didn't come off like that. He was sooooo cute and sweet and not even my usual type but that's why I liked him so much. And I don't even KNOW why I am so attached to this guy who I honestly did not even like truly know.


I feel like this bolded portion of that paragraph is your Moon square Saturn, talking. That square is exact, and it is intensified by Pluto in the first, backing the Moon.

It stood out to me because it feels like you are overly sensitive to possibly being dismissed, or underestimated, or not the favourite one, etc.

Young people do date a few people at once, just briefly, while they decide if there is one person they want to be 'exclusive' with. If you do want to find that special person, you might have to learn to multitask in that way too, BRIEFLY.

No one says you have to be sexually active with multiple people, but you may have to go on a few dates or more, with someone you are interested in, before they agree to be exclusive with you. I know that is awkward and uncomfortable, especially with challenges to your Moon from Saturn and Pluto---but it might be an important thing for you to sort out for yourself.

If someone wants to string you along, lead you on, but keep too many others on the line too, then forget it. But you do need to date them for long enough to see if you mutually agree to become a couple.

The problem with that Venus squaring the Neptune and Uranus is that the Neptune may lead you into feelings of love quicker than some are able to reciprocate---then the Uranus square kicks in and cuts it all off, before they can catch up to your level of feeling.

Finding a balance between the two emotional responses might be a positive goal for you. Maybe learning to 'date', even dating people who don't want to immediately settle down yet, and doing so without needing to make a deep emotional connection. Just doing so to have fun, enjoy another's company and enjoy your own personal growth.
Thank you so much for your advice, it's just hard because I've already developed feelings for him and the thought of him going out and like "getting to know" others is just so awful and gross to me. I know I am a Gemini but gosh I am intense with certain things.

And I totally get it. But it's just, I know how young people are but that's not how I am and that's not how I ever want to be. And I know it may sound crazy to some but I could never settle for being an option, even if I were THE number 1 option because the whole idea of it is just gross to me. If you need to "decide" then take me off the list, gross! I like to build 1-1 connections with people and see where things go, if I feel a connection, I don't go out and still continue to date to look for "something better." I like to take my time, have a friendship, get to know eachother, bond and then take it to the next level in an organic way. And that's what I feel he was doing and he just lead me on.

I still believe there are plenty of people in my age range or older (I am open to dating someone in their mid 40's as the maximum) that are single, healed from a past relationship and would like to find a 1-1 connection that they can focus on and build on without texting other people or whatever. That's my ideal "set up" to a relationship, I guess. And it's important to me. A lot. But apart of me is so like confused and all over the place because I don't know why this dude has such a "psychic" hold on me or whatever.
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Unread 04-27-2019, 11:42 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

" And I know it may sound crazy to some but I could never settle for being an option, even if I were THE number 1 option because the whole idea of it is just gross to me. If you need to "decide" then take me off the list, gross! I like to build 1-1 connections with people and see where things go, if I feel a connection, I don't go out and still continue to date to look for "something better." I like to take my time, have a friendship, get to know eachother, bond and then take it to the next level in an organic way. And that's what I feel he was doing and he just lead me on. "

It may be me, but when I read the above, I get mixed messages and conflicting thoughts jumping off the page. And I feel like it is the Neptune/Uranus blend causing some confusion.

On one hand, you are saying you like to be friends first and then wait and see if things develop deeper in an organic way. OK, fine...

but then you also say 'if you need to 'decide' , that's gross, take me off the list...'

That just seems confusing. You are saying that you need time to slowly bond and need to wait and see if anything will organically develop, but if someone else is also wanting to take it slow and see if there is really a connection, that is gross and you want out...?

I just think you might need to look at the messages you send out to others. Are they as confused as I am? It is important for you to sort it out, in my opinion.
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Unread 04-27-2019, 12:13 PM
GeminiSun GeminiSun is offline
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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" And I know it may sound crazy to some but I could never settle for being an option, even if I were THE number 1 option because the whole idea of it is just gross to me. If you need to "decide" then take me off the list, gross! I like to build 1-1 connections with people and see where things go, if I feel a connection, I don't go out and still continue to date to look for "something better." I like to take my time, have a friendship, get to know eachother, bond and then take it to the next level in an organic way. And that's what I feel he was doing and he just lead me on. "

It may be me, but when I read the above, I get mixed messages and conflicting thoughts jumping off the page. And I feel like it is the Neptune/Uranus blend causing some confusion.

On one hand, you are saying you like to be friends first and then wait and see if things develop deeper in an organic way. OK, fine...

but then you also say 'if you need to 'decide' , that's gross, take me off the list...'

That just seems confusing. You are saying that you need time to slowly bond and need to wait and see if anything will organically develop, but if someone else is also wanting to take it slow and see if there is really a connection, that is gross and you want out...?

I just think you might need to look at the messages you send out to others. Are they as confused as I am? It is important for you to sort it out, in my opinion.
LOL oops! Sorry! I got ahead of myself typing. I went back to edit a sentence and then messed things up.

nd I know it may sound crazy to some but I could never settle for being an option, even if I were THE number 1 option because the whole idea of it is just gross to me. If you need to "decide" then take me off the list, gross! And that's what I feel he was doing and he just lead me on. I like to build 1-1 connections with people and see where things go, if I feel a connection, I don't go out and still continue to date to look for "something better." I like to take my time, have a friendship, get to know eachother, bond and then take it to the next level in an organic way.

That sentence belonged there, not at the end lol. Meaning I felt he was leading me on while keeping his options open when that is sooo gross to me he should have just "taken me off his list." lol.
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Unread 04-27-2019, 12:24 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

The idea of exclusivity is very much Pluto.
Not many can react to you in the same way.
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Unread 04-27-2019, 01:11 PM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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It's like... It really, really *****. I haven't trusted anyone in a very long time and I was so delusional and excited you guys. I don't know, like even the littlest things would excite me. But you know, I do have very like 'watchful' or 'observant' placements I guess, and oh my gosh, I thought this dude genuinely liked me and wanted to get to know me more and build a connection since we seemed to click but then I found out that he's no different then like 85% of my generation. Basically "dealing" with me and gosh knows how many other people on the side, like one of those serial daters or flirters or "connection igniters" (LMFAO) and then like they would ultimately date whoever is the "best option" for them. We ALL know people like that. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but that's NOT for me. I don't like to be an "option." I am #1 sweety. I don't do the whole serial dating thing. If I connect with someone, I like to get to know them exclusively, see where it goes, whatever - and I just found out he's such a playboy. Ugh. And he soooooo didn't come off like that. He was sooooo cute and sweet and not even my usual type but that's why I liked him so much. And I don't even KNOW why I am so attached to this guy who I honestly did not even like truly know.

I was so emotional a few minutes ago and crying in the shower like an idiot because it's like... I rarely find a genuine connection or someone I'm like really into and when I do, it always ends up being complicated. And I rarely trust, and when I do, something like this happens, and it's not even him, it's me because why am I attracted to men like this? Who are not 100% emotionally available? Who are playboys or NOT what I am looking for?

It's gotten to the point where I don't care anymore. Like I am so hurt but I'm just going to continue to focus on me, bettering myself, evolving in life and heading towards my dreams. It just ***** that I've had so much personal advancement and blessings in my life the last year or so and then something like this has to happen to kind of dim my shine and make me upset but I have to keep it moving.
chart is a day chart
the diurnal sect is in favour
Sun is the sect leader - Jupiter and Saturn are of the sect in favour
Mercury is an Evening Star
so Mercury is a nocturnal planet in this chart and therefore not of the sect in favour.

WITH REFERENCE TO THE HORIZON
diurnal planets are happier
if they are above the horizon in a day chart
and
sect leader Sun is above horizon with diurnal planet Jupiter
however
diurnal sect planet Saturn is below horizon
so not happy


nocturnal planets are happier
if they are below the horizon in a day chart.
This is not really a condition of sect
—it does not define sect in any way.
This is only a way to further determine the strength
or mood of any particular planet.
And it’s only adding or subtracting mildly from the planet.
note that nocturnal sect planets Venus and Mars are ABOVE the horizon
and not so happy - while also contrary to agenda of diurnal sect planets


nocturnal planet Moon is however happy below the horizon
but is not of the sect in favor
and so is contrary to the agenda of diurnal sect planets
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  #16  
Unread 04-27-2019, 01:55 PM
GeminiSun GeminiSun is offline
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
The idea of exclusivity is very much Pluto.
Not many can react to you in the same way.
Yep, realizing that for sure
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Unread 04-27-2019, 05:28 PM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

Seems that you have a different definition of taking it slow from most people, relationship-wise. That's a great way to get a lot of misunderstanding.

For you, the friends first part is the taking it slow and exploring your options part. When you decide you want to date someone, you've already finished your exploration and settled on that person. But for most people, the first date, or the time when a friendship first takes a romantic turn, is when their exploration begins. At that point, they are where you were at the beginning of the friendship.

I think of your approach as the "Saturn in the seventh house" approach, because, as someone with Saturn in the seventh, it rings true to me, and I've gotten the sense that it's a pretty common way to be if you have a seventh house Saturn. You don't, but not only do you have Saturn square Moon, you also have Saturn as one of the points in a minor grand trine pointing to Venus, which rules your seventh. Perhaps a Saturn/Venus aspect is a factor here.
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Unread 04-27-2019, 06:17 PM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
Seems that you have a different definition of taking it slow from most people, relationship-wise. That's a great way to get a lot of misunderstanding.

For you, the friends first part is the taking it slow and exploring your options part. When you decide you want to date someone, you've already finished your exploration and settled on that person. But for most people, the first date, or the time when a friendship first takes a romantic turn, is when their exploration begins. At that point, they are where you were at the beginning of the friendship.

I think of your approach as the "Saturn in the seventh house" approach, because, as someone with Saturn in the seventh, it rings true to me, and I've gotten the sense that it's a pretty common way to be if you have a seventh house Saturn. You don't, but not only do you have Saturn square Moon, you also have Saturn as one of the points in a minor grand trine pointing to Venus, which rules your seventh. Perhaps a Saturn/Venus aspect is a factor here.
Meh, it's just "in me" so intensely and I cannot control it. I can never be one of those people who share intimate moments with someone while getting to know them and then go out and like be able to share intimate moments with other people. I don't even.... "Work" like that. I am not wired like that. I can't even be into more than one person at a time. It ***** because I know it isn't the "normal" thing, especially for people my age or my generation, but yeah.
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Unread 04-28-2019, 01:51 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

Venus square Ur/Nep is rather weak by orb in your chart. I'd also make sure to take a look at the Angular Leo Mars conjunct Chiron.
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Unread 04-28-2019, 06:25 AM
Sagittarius Jupiter Sagittarius Jupiter is offline
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

Gemini, because they're very much high-glory men (Mars in Leo in 10th house).






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  #21  
Unread 04-28-2019, 06:47 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Venus square Ur/Nep is rather weak by orb in your chart. I'd also make sure to take a look at the Angular Leo Mars conjunct Chiron.
Good observation. I am a very wounded person and have been through a lot! The last 11 years have been hell! But I've grown and learned so much and overcame things that I literally thought would end up "doing me in." But yeah, trust issues, bigggg time. And it *****. Apart of me knows that I am kind of being really hard with this guy because so many people date a bunch of others before like committing to someone and falling in love. But my emotions or insecurity or horrible ego or whatever you want to honestly call it, like it is so intense with me when it comes to romantic connections that the thought of him even having a genuine connection with somebody else is enough for me to like run no matter how much potential I see in us. And it's immature. It *****. But that's how I am. But apart of me feels like I am making such a huge mistake! But I don't know. Ugh. And I also read that Jupiter is transiting my North Node and any major decisions I make will affect the rest of my life. And I don't know if this guy could be like someone who can be really special in my future. Anyway, sorry for ranting.
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  #22  
Unread 04-28-2019, 06:48 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Originally Posted by Sagittarius Jupiter View Post
Gemini, because they're very much high-glory men (Mars in Leo in 10th house).






Owww, thanks sweetheart, very kind comment
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Unread 04-28-2019, 06:51 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Originally Posted by GeminiSun View Post
Good observation. I am a very wounded person and have been through a lot! The last 11 years have been hell! But I've grown and learned so much and overcame things that I literally thought would end up "doing me in." But yeah, trust issues, bigggg time. And it *****. Apart of me knows that I am kind of being really hard with this guy because so many people date a bunch of others before like committing to someone and falling in love. But my emotions or insecurity or horrible ego or whatever you want to honestly call it, like it is so intense with me when it comes to romantic connections that the thought of him even having a genuine connection with somebody else is enough for me to like run no matter how much potential I see in us. And it's immature. It *****. But that's how I am. But apart of me feels like I am making such a huge mistake! But I don't know. Ugh. And I also read that Jupiter is transiting my North Node and any major decisions I make will affect the rest of my life. And I don't know if this guy could be like someone who can be really special in my future. Anyway, sorry for ranting.
Then maybe you shouldn't close all the doors to him?

I mean, if he is not certain yet, that you are the one, that doesn't mean he is an awful person. Guys can be dense.

I knew I was going to marry my husband the day I met him, but it took him a year or so to figure it out himself.

Maybe you pull back but keep the option open, if he wants to talk again?

Last edited by katydid; 04-28-2019 at 06:53 AM.
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Unread 04-28-2019, 06:54 AM
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

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Originally Posted by katydid View Post
Then maybe you shouldn't close all the doors to him?
I know, I know. It's such a struggle. But I am so scared to fully trust him now. I really need to like just go somewhere and recharge and think about everything. But there is such an intense connection. It's so weird because I was not looking for this at all or expecting it and it hits me in the face and something is telling me that I should just pursue it. But gosh.
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Unread 04-28-2019, 07:00 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

Jupiter transiting the North Node is begging you to STRETCH, reach high, elevate yourself, break through old barriers, reach above your comfort zone.

Don't punish him if he wasn't really breaking any rules. You were not exclusive, and he is still figuring things out.

Maybe you will get hurt. That is ALWAYS a possibility. But nothing ventured nothing gained.

It is just that I think you may come to emotional conclusions 2quicker then many people do. You just know that you and he are totally connected and could be right for each other. But HE doesn't know that yet, for sure. Give him a chance to catch up.
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