Making the leap into adulthood...hard for a Capricorn?

holly

Well-known member
I have a rather abstract question to ask and was wondering if anybody had any opinions or ideas that could help me out a little. It’s long, so I won’t cry if nobody wants to read it. (Ok, I’d cry just a little.)

Here's my chart: [url]http://hugbug.smugmug.com/photos/25955742-L-1.gif [/url]


The two strongest influences in my chart are Capricorn and Aquarius. These are the later signs in the zodiac, and I’ve read that the later signs (Capricorn in particular) are the “elders” of the zodiac.

Just like Aries energy is new, young and vibrant, the later signs in the zodiac would be more stable, secure, serious, responsible, etc. In classical astrology the ruler of both Capricorn and Aquarius is Saturn so the Saturn energy must be very strong in my chart. Judging by my personality, I certainly think it is.

My problem is, I seem to be very reluctant to grow up. It’s weird, because I have always been mature for my age. I have never fit in with my age groups, because I was more serious and mature than my peers. I have always taken life very seriously. I take it so seriously that I rarely ever let go and truly have fun. Needless to say, I was never truly a teenager. Drinking, parties, boyfriends, none of those things ever appealed to me.

I still don’t feel 100% comfortable with myself but self confidence and security probably come with age. I figure I’m too serious to be comfortable being in my 20s, maybe when I reach my fourties or fifties I will feel secure and comfortable, and I will feel like I fit my life right. As Capricorn is an adult energy (the elder), I’d be happier when my life allows me to express that energy. You know, marriage, kids, mortgages, responsibilities etc.

The strange thing right now is that I am turning 21 soon, and my life feels like it is moving along ahead of me. I have a boyfriend, we talk about marriage and kids and moving in together. I’m getting too old for the job I’m doing now and so will have to think about starting a more grown-up job soon.

Being a Capricorn/Aquarius, I should be happy that my life is taking on a more adult, mature path. But I seem to have something in my way, blocking me. I know I should grow up now and become an adult, but I seem to be very reluctant to do that. It’s not that I’m scared of change or of growing up, I think I’m more surprised by it. “What, how can this be happening? I’m only a baby!”

After feeling older than I am my whole life, suddenly my age has not only caught up with me, but is racing ahead. I feel like I’m not ready to be 21 yet.

I feel like there is a block stopping me from growing up any further. I feel like there is something I need to do, or something that needs to happen before I can cross the line into adulthood. I feel like I am not emotionally or mentally mature yet, so things like marriage and careers and all those real life adult things surprise me.

I have no idea what this block is, so I was wondering if there is any answer astrology can provide.

:?

Is there a transit or something that determines the line between being young, and being an adult? Is there some planetary energy I am missing, and must wait for before I can mature, and feel like I fit my age?

You think, being a Capricorn/Aquarius, I’d be happy to mature and take on the responsibilities that come with being an adult.

What could be stopping me?

Any ideas?
 

wilsontc

Staff member
Maturity

Holly,

You said:

...The two strongest influences in my chart are Capricorn and Aquarius...classical astrology the ruler of both Capricorn and Aquarius is Saturn...Saturn energy...very strong in my chart...I seem to be very reluctant to grow up...I still don’t feel 100% comfortable with myself...I’m too serious...I am turning 21 soon, and my life feels like it is moving along ahead of me...I should grow up now...very reluctant to do that...I feel like there is something I need to do, or something that needs to happen before I can cross the line into adulthood...I was wondering if there is any answer astrology can provide...Is there a transit or something that determines the line between being young, and being an adult...

While it is true that Saturn ruled both Capricorn and Aquarius and that both have to do with "maturing", the two are VERY different energies. Capricorn is about the "maturity" that comes from having a firm, solid structured approach to things, while Aquarius' "maturity" is about learning when to TEAR DOWN that "firm, solid structure" and put up something new in its place. Capricorn is the builder while Aquarius is the REbuilder. Having to balance out both of these energies in your chart is a great challenge.

While you mentioned Capricorn and Aquarius energy a LOT in your message, neither of these energies seems appropriate to describe being ruluctant to face the maturity of adulthood: Capricorn is eager to become an adult so it can begin the lifelong "structuring" process, and Aquarius is eager to become an adult so it can begin a lifelong "REstructuring" of the poorly built structures Aquarius had to endure as a child. There is a third energy that is more about the expansionistic opportunities and continuous learning opportunities which we have as children.

When we are young, we are continually opening up into the world, and are a sponge, absorbing all the information around us. Saturn energy with its restriction and limitations is not understood nor even entirely accepted, while "expansion" energy is a part of our daily life. In astrology, "expansion" energy is symbolized by Jupiter, and you have Capricorn (duty, also structure) modifying Jupiter (expansion). So your enjoyment (expansion) into Capricorn energy is partly because it was a way for you to expand and develop in your life. For you, the "structure" was PART of the expansion: you opened up to and accepted structure so that you could expand in terms of your awareness opportunities, etc. Now, at this time, you are facing "pure" stressful Saturn (structure) energy and it feels very diffferent.

The time when transiting (planets in the sky) Saturn returns to the place it was at birth is a time when our maturity "comes full circle": when we are tested on how well we have learned to structure our lives. But before this time there are three other times when Saturn makes stressful aspects to its birth location: when we are 7 (transiting Saturn square birth Saturn), 14 (transiting Saturn opposite birth Saturn) and 21 (transiting Saturn square birth Saturn). Each challenging aspect to birth Saturn represents a challenging time in our life: when we are 7 and struggling to be more "grown up", when we are 14 and are struggling AGAINST grownups, and 21 when we realize (gasp!) that we are about to BECOME a "grown up". It is this final square that causes us the most challenge, when we have to accept not only the opportunities of being a grown up, but the limitations as well.

In some sense with your Jupiter situation you may have always been aware of the "opportunities" (Jupiter) of being a grown up. But, now that the time is here, you begin to realize that there are limitations (Saturn) to being a grown up as well. Perhaps the realization is that while you may have THOUGHT you were "too serious", you are about to discover what being "serious" (an adult) really is. And, perhaps you should give a little credit to your poor, ignored Jupiter, which helped you get through the challenge of growing up with a minimum of the tension that usually accompanies the process! ;)

And you are correct, there IS something to do before you cross over the line into adulthood...ACCEPT that you are becoming an adult! ;) As mentioned, this is not yet the "testing time" that happens when transiting Saturn returns to its birth place (between the ages of 28 and 30). So there is about 7 more years to work on structuring (AND REstructuring) things in your life before you will be finally faced with being an adult. And, in the process, remember that you have that Jupiter with you for life. SO if you feel yourself getting a little too constricted at times, you might want to take time to "live and laugh at it all"...after all, that's what Jupiter is there for! :)

Explaining astrological cycles,

Tim
 

holly

Well-known member
Hi Tim,

Thank you so much for your reply. I certainly appreciate the time and effort you put into it! :)

That is all very interesting and I definately learned a lot from your response!

Thanks,

Holly
 

Kite

Well-known member
Holly - I think the biggest indicator of your growing up issues is your south node in your 5th house conjuncting saturn. This tells me that your previous life was very much one filled with childlike expression and even perhaps a life that was cut short (scorpio saturn and pluto).

I would venture to say that the fear of death might be holding you back from letting the childhood go so to speak. Try to feel comfortable letting go and seeing death as nothing that can hurt you. Once you can accept your mortality along with your eternity you will be able to allow yourself to unfold into the fullness of life.
 

holly

Well-known member
That's very interesting, thank you! Actually I had wondered about the South Node being in the fifth house and wether that had anything to do with my current personality.

I'm just trying to understand what you've told me...so do you think I'm nervous about growing up, because in my past life I died around this age, and therefor I associate letting go of my childhood, with death?
 

Kite

Well-known member
I can't answer that question for you. Saturn in Scorpio shows resistance to transformation of which death is the most representative. You can go within and look at why /how you are resistant in this area.
 

MidnightDevil

Well-known member
uh, i got saturn in scorpio as well! brings responsability and maturity dealing with enterprises :) at least for me.

and yeah, kinda sucesptive but solid about transformation, you're willing to listen, but you'll think and re-think about taking action.

At least for me :D
 

holly

Well-known member
I'm always interested in hearing from people who share the same placements as me, and hearing about how they experience it! :)
 
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