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Unread 12-07-2017, 12:50 AM
wan wan is offline
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Attraction of the identicals or opposites attract?

Hello. I just have a question that I have been giving thoughts to for a little while. I think it's quite interesting and I wish to know what other people think. Basically, when it comes to romantic relationships, do you think that people tend to be attracted to people who are similar to them, or those who are very different?

Maybe you are partnered, or maybe you are currently single but used to have a significant other. What is/was your experience? Which category do you fall into? Me personally, I think I like a mixture of both. I think that there must be some common ground to fall in love with someone but if everything was completely the same it would be boring.

What has your experience been like? Concrete examples are very welcome here. Let's share our thoughts.


Last edited by wan; 12-07-2017 at 01:05 AM.
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Unread 12-07-2017, 01:12 AM
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sibylline sibylline is offline
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Re: Attraction of the identicals or opposites attract?

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Originally Posted by wan View Post
Hello. I just have a question that I have been giving thoughts to for a little while. I think it's quite interesting and I wish to know what other people think. Basically, when it comes to romantic relationships, do you think that people tend to be attracted to people who are similar to them, or those who are very different?
I think it depends on the person... And what you mean by different. I like people who share some of my core values and have a similar outlook and approach to life as me, but not identical. In romantic relationships things don't last for me if the person's approach to life is dramatically different and they value different things. My last relationship ended for this very reason.
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Unread 12-07-2017, 01:21 AM
wan wan is offline
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Re: Attraction of the identicals or opposites attract?

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Originally Posted by sibylline View Post
I think it depends on the person... And what you mean by different. I like people who share some of my core values and have a similar outlook and approach to life as me, but not identical. In romantic relationships things don't last for me if the person's approach to life is dramatically different and they value different things. My last relationship ended for this very reason.
Do you mind giving us some examples of why it didn't work out for you? If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. I am just curious.
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Unread 12-07-2017, 01:56 AM
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sibylline sibylline is offline
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Re: Attraction of the identicals or opposites attract?

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Do you mind giving us some examples of why it didn't work out for you? If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. I am just curious.
It's fine...We were just too different in ways that were important. The wonder was how we ended up together in the first place but perhaps we seem similar on the surface. We do have similar/the same signs in our charts but the planets are arranged in different ways.

For example, how to approach relationship issues. I will often be very frank in discussing issues that arises, not rude but direct. I just try to encourage a dialogue because I think that if you never discuss issues they will never get resolved. He took these discussions as a personal attack and would become agitated, go on the defense, attempt to shut down any discussion. He believed this approach was ruining the peace in the relationship and I found myself having to work around his feelings.
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Unread 12-07-2017, 02:16 AM
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Dirius Dirius is offline
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Re: Attraction of the identicals or opposites attract?

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Originally Posted by wan View Post
Hello. I just have a question that I have been giving thoughts to for a little while. I think it's quite interesting and I wish to know what other people think. Basically, when it comes to romantic relationships, do you think that people tend to be attracted to people who are similar to them, or those who are very different?

Maybe you are partnered, or maybe you are currently single but used to have a significant other. What is/was your experience? Which category do you fall into? Me personally, I think I like a mixture of both. I think that there must be some common ground to fall in love with someone but if everything was completely the same it would be boring.

What has your experience been like? Concrete examples are very welcome here. Let's share our thoughts.
I think its neither of those two, and I agree its a mixture of both.

In my opinion, its how well you complement, which in a sense would be some sort of middle ground between them: a little equality that creates shared values, but enough diversity of thought that you can share different views, without risking to loose the relationship.
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