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Unread 11-28-2017, 11:28 PM
lantlos lantlos is offline
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Question Advice for "Poorly-Aspected" Mercury?

I'm not really one to believe that hard aspects are necessarily that, but my life is sort of a testament to that, I think. It seems like after the 3rd grade, my social capabilities began to stagnate. I sometimes feel like I still have the mind of a middle schooler. I feel so out of place with other adults all the time. So, when I discovered astrology over 10 years ago, it really came as no surprise how my chart is: A LOT of Mercury aspects and most of them are "difficult". The worst is probably Mercury square Saturn. More specifically: 8th house Mercury in Libra square 11th house Saturn in Capricorn. Yeah. More on that one later.

There are two "good" major aspects with Mercury in my chart, but as I get older, I start to see the bad in them. Mercury sextile Venus and Mercury trine Ascendant (Aquarius), two of my tightest-orbed aspects. They're really embedded within me I feel. I don't like to ruffle feathers much, but I do like to "perform". It's always been a big desire of mine to be social and interact. I attribute that to my Libra placements, which are Sun and Mars along with Mercury of course, with Mercury conjuncting Mars and Mars conjuncting the Sun, which I think gives me a very Aries way about myself. I don't necessarily think that's a good thing, though. Aries is commendable for its boldness, which I love. But it's also very brash and harsh a lot of the time, no offense to you Aries folks. As such, I come off that way which I think is unpleasant for a lot of people. My Mercury sextile Venus doesn't want that. I want to always be in harmony with everyone. ALWAYS.

I just really want people to like me and find me pleasant and I feel like my actions always show that. The problem with that is that I can come across fake and too tryhard. Added to that are the effects of Mercury square Saturn. This aspect loves to have things edited. It needs things to be perfect. It reflects in the way I speak and write by making my style seem... sparse? I'm sure it's apparent from reading this. How this presents itself in my personality is by making me a fairly quiet guy who may seem a little slow. If we add every thing together so far, we get a guy who seems quiet and slow but when he does speak, he's animated and almost curt. He tries to joke around, but his jokes never really land. He can be funny, but it's almost as if he's held back by something because he doesn't really give it 100%. He's awkward and jittery and nervous (Uranian energy from ascendant?).

I'm not even including other aspects that I feel contribute to how I'm feeling about this. My Mercury also squares my Moon conjunct Jupiter. My moon is in Cancer. I feel like that's more than enough information right there. Notoriously sensitive Cancer moon. She's a real b sometimes. If I could just be born a few days later, I'd have Venus sextile Mars which is one of my favorite aspects. Venus/Mars people are usually funny and social. A guy I know has Venus trine Mars and Mars sextile Jupiter, and he's a social butterfly and gets along with everyone. Women love him because he's quick-witted and a charmer. Men like him because he's a naturally cool and rebellious kind of dude (which I think is his Mercury square Uranus), and he can talk about cars, video games, and his many experiences with women. I'm so jealous.

So, with all that said, I'd really love any advice from those of you who can relate and have overcome these kind of aspects. I would really appreciate it. Or if any of you with good social abilities can let us social outcasts/rejects/dummies know how your minds work in social settings, that'd be great too. I'm having such a hard time dealing with all of this. And it's been a really long time now. I'm in my late 20s, and I still feel really weighed down by doubt and misery over this a lot of the time. I'm just really tired of missing out on more laughs and camaraderie. Thanks for any help. Sorry for giving so much to read. And please ignore any errors.

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Unread 12-14-2017, 12:38 AM
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SimlyLuna SimlyLuna is offline
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Re: Advice for "Poorly-Aspected" Mercury?

Hey again!

First of all, love your bolded first words in each parapragh. It reminds me how the structure of the book for each chapter. Anyway, your story resonate me a lot. I never believed in astrology before (that sun sign generic thing you see in magazines) but my discovery on mercury - pisces got me.

I have only studied for a year, I wish I can give advice like any astrologer but I figure with having similar experience and wanting to feel socially accepted or seen charming and likable across people -- I hope I can have some input. I have moon in Libra so you can see how much I need to feel that way.

I think what generally needs to be done is to slowly accept yourself, love yourself first. It's a generic advice, but what I mean is have compassion for yourself and be less critical of yourself. It will eventually come. Harsh aspect are there to help us grow so it takes time. When we have it easy, we would take things for granted and may even learn it the hard way. -- Maybe practice meditation and focus on breathing techniques to help build a connection with yourself. Focus what your friends likes about you. I don't believe everyone is that horrible at communication. It is a two way.

"I want to always be in harmony with everyone. ALWAYS."
^ I feel you should start small such as your friends or a close friend/relative. What I think you need now is building that self-confidence. Even the president is not love by all or most. You're only going to wear yourself out balancing out with everyone. Can I ask what is your nodes? I think if you post your chart, others can help bring the best out of you.

I want to add I have Mercury square Uranus, conjunct midheaven and Gemini in 12th house but I have always been seen weird. Im slowly accepting it and I feel confidence each day. Also energy flows easier too. I am less stiff and more open and less shy.

Last edited by SimlyLuna; 12-14-2017 at 12:49 AM. Reason: adding more info
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Unread 12-14-2017, 01:17 AM
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Re: Advice for "Poorly-Aspected" Mercury?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lantlos View Post
The worst is probably Mercury square Saturn. More specifically: 8th house Mercury in Libra square 11th house Saturn in Capricorn. Yeah. More on that one later.
This is bad. It's partly the reason you're being so hard on yourself for what is a more common issue than you think...

Quote:
Originally Posted by lantlos View Post
Aries is commendable for its boldness, which I love. But it's also very brash and harsh a lot of the time, no offense to you Aries folks. As such, I come off that way which I think is unpleasant for a lot of people. My Mercury sextile Venus doesn't want that. I want to always be in harmony with everyone. ALWAYS.
Yes, this is Libra in you... do you mind putting your chart up? I just want to see where the planets are clustered.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lantlos View Post
So, with all that said, I'd really love any advice from those of you who can relate and have overcome these kind of aspects. I would really appreciate it. Or if any of you with good social abilities can let us social outcasts/rejects/dummies know how your minds work in social settings, that'd be great too.
Some of this comes with age. I have a close friend with an exact Merc-Mars conjunction in Scorpio ruling an Aries Moon, Sagittarius Sun. As you can imagine he can come across as very blunt, rude, crude, etc. But I've known him for over a decade and over that time (and over many blunders) I've seen his manner become a lot less harsh.

Speaking of myself, my Merc is pretty dinged up and it had the nerve to be in a public house as well, so I can't even hide it in the 8th house. It has always been an issue and I definitely wouldn't say I've "overcome" it but I'm a lot better than I used to be because I try to keep it in conscious awareness. You may think it seems rehearsed or fake but sometimes that's what you need. Over time of doing this it will become more natural.

A more specific strategy I have found to work is to "think like a trine". Because you can't wish these aspects away; if your Mercury is connected to Mars then it always will be but you can make it a smoother relationship by understanding and watching how the positive aspects manifest.
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Unread 12-14-2017, 01:54 AM
lantlos lantlos is offline
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Re: Advice for "Poorly-Aspected" Mercury?

Quote:
This is bad. It's partly the reason you're being so hard on yourself for what is a more common issue than you think...
Yeah, I know it's VERY bad haha. I can only laugh at your comment because it's just so true that it's funny.

Thanks for the advice, though. I try to accept certain things about myself, but I also suffer from clinical depression and negative thoughts strike me like lightning sometimes. One little hint of negativity sends my mind into a tailspin and it's over. I'm preoccupied by the thoughts until they wear me out. But I'm in this weird mindset of where I want to keep thinking these thoughts because I feel like the more I focus on them, the more I understand myself better and am able to make a more positive change. It's been working little by little, I feel. When I posted this, I was having a very off day. I couldn't stop comparing myself to people.

Quote:
First of all, love your bolded first words in each parapragh. It reminds me how the structure of the book for each chapter. Anyway, your story resonate me a lot. I never believed in astrology before (that sun sign generic thing you see in magazines) but my discovery on mercury - pisces got me.

I have only studied for a year, I wish I can give advice like any astrologer but I figure with having similar experience and wanting to feel socially accepted or seen charming and likable across people -- I hope I can have some input. I have moon in Libra so you can see how much I need to feel that way.

I think what generally needs to be done is to slowly accept yourself, love yourself first. It's a generic advice, but what I mean is have compassion for yourself and be less critical of yourself. It will eventually come. Harsh aspect are there to help us grow so it takes time. When we have it easy, we would take things for granted and may even learn it the hard way. -- Maybe practice meditation and focus on breathing techniques to help build a connection with yourself. Focus what your friends likes about you. I don't believe everyone is that horrible at communication. It is a two way.

"I want to always be in harmony with everyone. ALWAYS."
^ I feel you should start small such as your friends or a close friend/relative. What I think you need now is building that self-confidence. Even the president is not love by all or most. You're only going to wear yourself out balancing out with everyone. Can I ask what is your nodes? I think if you post your chart, others can help bring the best out of you.

I want to add I have Mercury square Uranus, conjunct midheaven and Gemini in 12th house but I have always been seen weird. Im slowly accepting it and I feel confidence each day. Also energy flows easier too. I am less stiff and more open and less shy.
Thanks for your reply! I tried to stand out with the bolding of the first words. I gotta stand out somehow haha. And thanks for the advice. I too try to think of the harsh aspects as teachers in a way. They show us how to be more like the trines and sextiles. I think I'm getting more and more triney and sextiley every day. It's definitely a work in progress though. I hate how I act sometimes. I think my Venus in the 10th house contributes to that phoniness I feel I give off.

Anyway, y'all requested my chart, so here it is:
https://imgur.com/a/kFOU6
Attached Images
File Type: jpg astro_2gw_me.5924.52072.jpg (56.6 KB, 11 views)

Last edited by lantlos; 12-14-2017 at 01:59 AM.
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