Hello everyone,
https://imgur.com/HmY7vz8
I have 7 planets retrograde, except venus which is in virgo. How do they affect me or how do I deal with them? Well I am not sure where to even begin. I have always felt that I am very different from other people. Somebody metioned that having retrogrades means "not operating normally" and I think it describes the way I feel I operate.
Mercury (in leo): I overoveroverthink. My mind is always busy. I doubt. Re-check. I always think things through before I speak, if I don't, I am often sorry. I speak very quicky and use a lot of words, tend to be drammatic. I don't like phone conversations, I rather write an SMS and I hate unexpected visitors.
Saturn (in mars): this is probably the toughest one. I am really harsh on myself. I have some sort of inferiority complex and the virgo venus eventhough direct, probably doesn't help much here. I am prone to overeating when things get tough. Was obese in childhood and had episodes of overeating and throwing up in rough times during adolescence. I have become a highly attractive woman, but still have self-esteem issues (there are days when I feel really confident, though, but they come and go).
I was brought up as the older of two daughters in a home where manipulation and violent verbal abuse were a part of our daily life. My parents are still (quite happily) together. I have always had a close relationship with my younger sister, I might even say, that she is my best friend, if not the only true friend. I never really struggled in relationship with her, I did have severe issues growing up because of my parents, especially my father (and even later on, when I was on my own). I always felt that they loved me less than my sister, that I never did anything OK, that I was inadequate, ugly, stupid, etc.
It took about 30 years to realize that the problem was not in my parent, It was in me. I was and am different. They gave me their love in the terms they believed were best for me. When I started accepting this, my relationship with them changed too, and I started making lots of progress in other relationships as well.
I never have trouble achieving my goals. Some say school might cause problems to retrograde people, but for me, success in primary, secundary and later in university was not a question. I did always feel that I take in the info differently, I often studied on my own (didn't really learn much during lectures). Maths and science were never really fields that I'd enjoy or be particularly good at, but I have always excelled in everything else (I have especially been drawn to psychology). I don't think that I am soooo intelligent, I believe it has more to do with the way I think and can focus for really loooong times, some kind of mental stamina and love for research. I am also very creative and lately I have focused lots of energy there and it makes me feel wonderful
I paint, garden, sing, play the guitar
I feel I can be successful in all the things I put my mind to, but I often have trouble deciding what those things are, because I lose my interest often.
Retrograde people are said to be introverted. I am not really sure what it makes me. People that know me, would definitely say that I am an extrovert, but that is probably just the role I am playing, my persona. When socializing, I am loud, definitely noticed, I do like being around people, but I honestly prefer being on my own. I need to retreat a lot, otherwise I get irritated. I need a lot of freedom in relationships. I could say I am self-sufficient.
What makes me different and is an integral part of me is my deep empathy. And my ability to see through "bulls**t". I work in education, with children, I can really relate to them, I see and feel things that others can't. Sometimes I even feel it's much easier for me to relate to kids than to adults.
I am new to this forum but astrology has been my passion for a long time. I have studied planets a lot, but still "see so many trees that I fail to see the forest". I see a t-square. I also think this is a splash chart, but am not sure.
I'd appriciate you sharing anything else you see in my chart, since I an having trouble putting it all together.
P.S: It took about two days to write this post. A lot of thinking, writing, deleting, re-writing, re-thinking, etc. And I will probably edit some more after I post it. That's how I am dealing with all my Rs
P.S.S.: As Greybeard said, there is not much I can do about it. They are an integral part of me. They dominate me. All I can do is embrace them for making me unique.
Estella