Is this a healthy relationship?

Hi guys!

There's this guy I'm friends with for a long, long time and I'd like to know if this a healthy, balanced relationship... from everything I've read, there are a lot of aspects of obssessive attraction from me, is that right? When he's not making me feel special, he's making me feel miserable and and innadequate... I guess what I want to know is how I make him feel for me, if his feelings are as true as they seem and if there's a chance he'll ever want to date me.

Also, would my Venus semisextiling his Chiron and his Venus sesquiquadrating my Chiron play a role on this, giving this a fated feeling? I've read that Venus-Chiron represents true love, and I do care about him a lot.

Thanks!

RED - him
BLUE - me

Forgot to add the chart, lol. xD

Bumping...

The fact that you both have mutual chiron and node signs could contribute to the fated feeling. Your r.ship needs differ a bit (venus being in opposite signs) as well as your mental interests and style of communicating clashes (merc in scorp and merc in aquarius). There are quite a few indications that can substain a r.ship though Ima noob but hopes this gets you startedxD

@MissCubyA, thanks!

There are some good and bad things in this relationship and I'm trying to decided if it's better for it to stay platonic or to become romantic...

filleaspirant said:

Hi guys!

There's this guy I'm friends with for a long, long time and I'd like to know if this a healthy, balanced relationship... from everything I've read, there are a lot of aspects of obsessive attraction from me, is that right? When he's not making me feel special, he's making me feel miserable and and inadequate... I guess what I want to know is how I make him feel for me, if his feelings are as true as they seem and if there's a chance he'll ever want to date me.

Also, would my Venus semi-sextiling his Chiron and his Venus sesquiquadrating my Chiron play a role on this, giving this a fated feeling? I've read that Venus-Chiron represents true love, and I do care about him a lot.

Thanks!

RED - him
BLUE - me

Click to expand...

IMO, to answer the questions you have asked, I would need your individual charts, since I would need to know more information about the components of the synastry than is just seen by the synastry itself. Please go to this thread for more of an explanation:

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67906

@Zarathu, hopefully you can tell me more about this relationship...

I've attached mine and his chart and our composite.

Thanks!

I've sent you a PM.

hi filleaspirant.( are you a runner?)
looking at the composite,
you describe two manners of relating but it seems there is a third rapport that gives you the feeling this is a possible mate.the mercury/jupiter and the mercury/sun midpoints are conjunct the dragon's head.
the mercury/sun exact conjunction shipows that yoiu both speak from the
depth of feelings and thoughts. this give spontaneous revelations about each other, though sometimes too much is revealed and there may be misgivings.

jupiter is sesiquiquadrate(136 degrees) to the sun/mercury conjunction. this . this increases the intensity for your mental connection becauae you show each other how to connect the far with the near, the macrocasm with the microcosm, the personal to the social the specific to the general. this is a indication of broad understanding and knowledge bewteeen you. but it is also in a state of tension so any differences beget extended discussionof opinion.it can be an irritable aspect as when it is afflicted every little differences becomes a dig deal.
the conjuinction to thenode ,though, gives an inspired and enlightening spe;; to your converstaions.it gives a strong psychic connectio in which you and he almost don't have to talk because your minds seem in unisonance.
it gives the potential for financial stability and tends toward thought of marriage. this aspect is expansive and optismistic, caring and supportive.
it is quite magical at times as your words interweave to conclusions neither of you saw.
the moon opposed to jupiter strengthens the breath of onteractios and specifically brings the image of marriage to the for in you.

the countrerpoint that gives this relationship the objectional dynamioc you desribe is the saturn opposition to chiron, with the urnaus /neptune midpoint opposed to chiron amd conjunct to saturn. the saturn/chiron lopposition shows him tpo be a difficult taskmaster. he expects exactitude from you but does not give it.he is inherently selfish and though very perspeptive seeks faukts in other's for hos own short comings.this is a cold,distantand manipulating aspect.
with the uranus/neptune midpoint conju8nct saturn , he is deceptive and concealed even thou he liket come on as a"open book". he creates great expectations and grand planstha never come to fruition.

with the moon/suna nd moon/mercury midpoints square to the nodal axis, there have been times when you felt united body,spirit and soul with him.
thre dream realities you create with him are very powerful.

with the uranus/jupiter midpoint square to the suin/mercury conjunction, there can be no longterm success as his critical nature and selfish independence will never change.

frankly his "good" cop -bad cop" psychological manipulation of you is destructive to your mental integrity as you falsely search your self for the decficientcy in the relationship

@rahu,

You mean a runner from relationships? Because I am, lol. I can never make up my mind in the time period a guy's interested in me... I mean, when I commit, I commit, and to commit to just anyone would be to betray myself, I think.

I don't about any spontaneous revelation from him (to get anything from him is like pulling teeth from a lion), but he got me to reveal a big secret of mine when we only knew each other for over a year. I don' know how he did it, because I'm as shut down as the best security system out there AND I've always made conversations go the way I wanted them... Which is one of the things that made me realise this was not a relationship based in equality.

Do you see something about him wanting to control me? I sometimes get this vibe from him... Like he keeps pushing other guys onto me, keeps a close watch when I'm talking to other men... It's very uncomfortable for me because I feel put on the spot and pressured, which is something I abhor. I mean, I understand if he doesn't want me in a romantic way, but must he invade my privacy or charge into my affairs??? Besides, he might have been trying to make me jealous for no other reason than to confirm I still crushed on him (still not sure I don't).

We do get each other just by looking at the other's eye and I sometimes get ano admiration vibe from him when we talk. However, all the good things he might think of me has been related to me by a third party - he seems unable to even confirm he cares for me as a friend. We do get on each other's nervesn though. Right now, he's giving me the cold shoulder because I didn't agree with him and went ahead with what I wanted to do.

I do feel as if he's always trying to keep the upper hand over me. I don't think he's outright deceitful, though. He'll omit but won't lie when pressured.

I know you've said all the bad things for a romantic connection, but do you think those can apply to a platonic one? He's been loyal (if distant) these past 8 years we've been friends, and I'd like to think I have a friend instead of ano enemy in him... What do you think?

i think you are way too into him. because though you say you realize it can only be platonic, your heart betrays your words.

pluto opposed to venus is the point of his hook.

pluto needs to control relationships. Even in relationships that have ended , a strong pluto influence will want to keep hold over the past partner.
All the questions about his control are true. It is the scorpionic nature of the relationship.

Another aspect of this personality dynamic is there can be no middle ground. Either accept the relationship as it is, or forget about him. you can’t be “you” around him. He will only accept your presence if you submit.

So platonic ,I don’t think so. submit or forget , if that is possible.

Thank you, rahu.

I don't know how to convey how much you've helped me... You've confirmed exactly what I always knew all these years but didn't want to accept. My non-conformist nature will win out and I'll end it.

Once again, thanks for your help.