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  #1  
Unread 05-13-2017, 07:35 PM
Inanna92 Inanna92 is offline
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Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

All of us have some picture of our soul mate, how he/she should look like, what personality must have, etc.. But are we always right?

For a long time I would always imagine myself with some water sign, mostly Cancer. I would say, how they are emotional, careful, protective. If someone asked me for other placements, I would add Pisces Moon or similar (won't say soft, rather warm, emotional) placements. If you take a look at my chart, you will see also one Pisces Moon, Cancer Mars, Venus in 4th.. seems like my planet positions seek for it.

The last sign on my list or any placement there is Libra. I'm not fan of Libra man way of acting, but this is the sign which I attract the most. Very strange thing, my 12th house is in Libra, there must be some subconscious thing, the reason of my aversion over them, and the reason why I always get in some contact with this sign. As I'm not fan of them in relationship, I can be very good friend with these people.
Geminis I've always found detached and cold before. Would say - No way I could be with one, I need someone careful and sensitive, not two-faced selfish player. But there is huge attraction from both sides, can blame my 8th house in Gemini. First Gemini decan placements fall into my 7th, other two decans fall into 8th. My SN which is in conjunction to my Vertex, sits in 8th house in Gemini and often touches Gemini personal planets.

In my chart, water and air are dominant. No matter how much I want someone's deep emotions, I also want freedom, free space. Yes I have Capricorn Sun, Pisces Moon, Mars in Cancer, but my Aquarius Venus, Sun in 3rd, my Uranus in opposition to Mars, conjunction to Sun, sextile to Moon, Mars in 9th need it, not to have feel that I'm in chains, but still someone to adores me.
After few experiences with Cancers and Scorpios, realized there must always end with some conflict, jealousy, possessiveness from their side, drama. Cancer for example, with Cancer Venus can be even more jealous, Leo Venus also likes drama.
But I found how I am actually **** good with Gemini guys.

Then I started to experiment on my chart. As I have 8th house in Gemini like I said, their Sun must fall into my 7th or 8th. I'm a Scorpio ASC with Pluto in 1st squaring my Venus, so their energy here makes me feel comfortable, I can talk with them about deep, secretive, mysterious things, taboos, to open my mind and they will understand me. Then that "cold" Gemini Venus could fall there too, even to touch my SN and Vertex, it can only mean to bring love and in 8th house deep emotions and sexual attraction, there could be that Scorpio energy, not 5th house thing, fun and play, but true connection, it could also trine my Venus. Now what about that Libra placements, what if Gemini has Libra Moon. His Moon can fall into my 11th house, very very harmonic, positive placement, my Aquarius Venus will find this nice. And not to be all air, he must have some water cause of my other planet positions. Maybe Cancer Mars would be fine for Gemini, or Mercury in Cancer as Mercury is always like Venus near Sun, or both Mercury and Mars, as they would fall into my 9th house probably and we would share similar spiritual views, philosophy of life, and travel together (I love to travel a lot). So maybe here Cancer would spread that Cancerian energy but in positive way, give to Gemini a bit of water but not dramatic personality.

I want to mention that of course it doesn't mean every Cancer and Scorpio can be bad match and Gemini good one, cause you can see whole picture after you have someone's whole chart in front of you. I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, I really didn't have good experience with people with strong energy of signs I thought are fine for me and opposite. And all of us can work on good and hard placements, but it can be hard if only one of two is ready for it. Cancers can be really hard in it, too afraid to leave their shell.
Aspects are important part of synastry but I will not go into that now, as I would be much boring and make too much confusion.

Anybody here tried similar, and met someone who matches your description, what do you think? Or if not, simply, what do you think on this?

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  #2  
Unread 05-13-2017, 08:44 PM
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Re: Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

Frankly, I wouldn't go this route. I doubt that you will ever find someone to fit your pictures--focused mainly on yourself, detailed as they are.

Once you find a person of interest, check out your synastry. That will indicate your compatibility. Also check out his/her chart, as some people have internal issues and/or are just not good relationship material. Synastry goes by degrees, not by signs.

A happy Cancer can be loving and protective. Or s/he can behave like a moody, overgrown child.

A soul mate, if ever you should find one, is in your life for your personal growth. This can be hard. This person may not be a romantic partner. The person may not stay in your life.

I think there is a tendency to overly romanticize the soul mate concept. Most of us wind up with ordinary people, full of good qualities and flaws.

My husband and I have our suns trined at the same degree, while his Mars conjuncts my Venus and my Mars trines his Venus. We've been married 20 years. Normally we get along well, but we've had some horrible break-downs, as well. When the honeymoon is over, you need to remain best friends.
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  #3  
Unread 05-13-2017, 09:31 PM
Inanna92 Inanna92 is offline
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Re: Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

Nah, didn't say I will look for person with placements I mentioned above, nor that I will avoid Cancers. You got me wrong, maybe I wasn't clear myself. I just tried to give an example how there is various combinations between elements and signs, and how same can act different way. While Scorpio with too much water doesn't fit to me, I put for example Gemini placements in 8th as it can give Scorpio energy but will act different with air.

I always check synastry and Natal chart separated, even Composite, but pay more attention to synastry.

Happy Cancer can be protective, but can't handle too much air energy always, can find it like partner doesn't care enough for them.

Now, when it comes to aspects, none of these placements can exist but to have a lot of aspects between Pluto and personal planets in synastry and Natal and it will give that energy. Especially with hard aspects, it can give intense relationship, so there is no rules.
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Unread 05-13-2017, 09:38 PM
Inanna92 Inanna92 is offline
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Re: Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
When the honeymoon is over, you need to remain best friends.
And I totally agree with this. That's why I also pay great attention on Mercury in synastry. Understanding is very important, and after years of being together, there will not be hundred of kisses per day, at the end talking remains, friendship. That's why to me, similar interests and views on life are very important in serious relationship, otherwise, couldn't be with someone totally different from me.
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  #5  
Unread 05-14-2017, 04:54 AM
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Re: Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

No doubt I misunderstood you, Inanna, but here's what you wrote.

Quote:
All of us have some picture of our soul mate, how he/she should look like, what personality must have, etc.
I don't recommend this. Either you can wait forever for someone who doesn't exist; or else fall in love with someone and then make his life miserable by trying to get him to fit your imaginary pictures.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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Unread 05-14-2017, 06:19 AM
Inanna92 Inanna92 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
No doubt I misunderstood you, Inanna, but here's what you wrote.



I don't recommend this. Either you can wait forever for someone who doesn't exist; or else fall in love with someone and then make his life miserable by trying to get him to fit your imaginary pictures.
I wrote above that my reason of writing wasn't this and that I don't have in mind to hunt people with similar placements I mentioned, cause it wasn't on my mind, and you write to me the same comment again. Will not discuss on this anymore.
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Unread 05-14-2017, 06:59 AM
david starling david starling is online now
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Smile Re: Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inanna92 View Post
All of us have some picture of our soul mate, how he/she should look like, what personality must have, etc.. But are we always right?

For a long time I would always imagine myself with some water sign, mostly Cancer. I would say, how they are emotional, careful, protective. If someone asked me for other placements, I would add Pisces Moon or similar (won't say soft, rather warm, emotional) placements. If you take a look at my chart, you will see also one Pisces Moon, Cancer Mars, Venus in 4th.. seems like my planet positions seek for it.

The last sign on my list or any placement there is Libra. I'm not fan of Libra man way of acting, but this is the sign which I attract the most. Very strange thing, my 12th house is in Libra, there must be some subconscious thing, the reason of my aversion over them, and the reason why I always get in some contact with this sign. As I'm not fan of them in relationship, I can be very good friend with these people.
Geminis I've always found detached and cold before. Would say - No way I could be with one, I need someone careful and sensitive, not two-faced selfish player. But there is huge attraction from both sides, can blame my 8th house in Gemini. First Gemini decan placements fall into my 7th, other two decans fall into 8th. My SN which is in conjunction to my Vertex, sits in 8th house in Gemini and often touches Gemini personal planets.

In my chart, water and air are dominant. No matter how much I want someone's deep emotions, I also want freedom, free space. Yes I have Capricorn Sun, Pisces Moon, Mars in Cancer, but my Aquarius Venus, Sun in 3rd, my Uranus in opposition to Mars, conjunction to Sun, sextile to Moon, Mars in 9th need it, not to have feel that I'm in chains, but still someone to adores me.
After few experiences with Cancers and Scorpios, realized there must always end with some conflict, jealousy, possessiveness from their side, drama. Cancer for example, with Cancer Venus can be even more jealous, Leo Venus also likes drama.
But I found how I am actually **** good with Gemini guys.

Then I started to experiment on my chart. As I have 8th house in Gemini like I said, their Sun must fall into my 7th or 8th. I'm a Scorpio ASC with Pluto in 1st squaring my Venus, so their energy here makes me feel comfortable, I can talk with them about deep, secretive, mysterious things, taboos, to open my mind and they will understand me. Then that "cold" Gemini Venus could fall there too, even to touch my SN and Vertex, it can only mean to bring love and in 8th house deep emotions and sexual attraction, there could be that Scorpio energy, not 5th house thing, fun and play, but true connection, it could also trine my Venus. Now what about that Libra placements, what if Gemini has Libra Moon. His Moon can fall into my 11th house, very very harmonic, positive placement, my Aquarius Venus will find this nice. And not to be all air, he must have some water cause of my other planet positions. Maybe Cancer Mars would be fine for Gemini, or Mercury in Cancer as Mercury is always like Venus near Sun, or both Mercury and Mars, as they would fall into my 9th house probably and we would share similar spiritual views, philosophy of life, and travel together (I love to travel a lot). So maybe here Cancer would spread that Cancerian energy but in positive way, give to Gemini a bit of water but not dramatic personality.

I want to mention that of course it doesn't mean every Cancer and Scorpio can be bad match and Gemini good one, cause you can see whole picture after you have someone's whole chart in front of you. I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, I really didn't have good experience with people with strong energy of signs I thought are fine for me and opposite. And all of us can work on good and hard placements, but it can be hard if only one of two is ready for it. Cancers can be really hard in it, too afraid to leave their shell.
Aspects are important part of synastry but I will not go into that now, as I would be much boring and make too much confusion.

Anybody here tried similar, and met someone who matches your description, what do you think? Or if not, simply, what do you think on this?
I was looking for a beautiful, intelligent, stimulating woman who could tolerate me and enjoy sex. I had three Astrological requirements: Sun Aquarius and Moon Pisces (sounded right for my Sun Pisces and Moon Aquarius) with Scorpio Ascendant, a match for my Piscean Ascendant. As it happens, I have Venus in Aquarius, she has it in Sagittarius, my M.C. Sign. I wasn't trying an exact Synastry match, or even close Aspects--just the Signs. I found her by chance, and fell in love before I checked her Chart. It just happened that I was right about the placements I had decided would be right.
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  #8  
Unread 05-14-2017, 02:56 PM
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Smile Re: Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

Dear Inanna, I sense you got this. Cookbook Astrology doesn't always capture the overall synergy potential. After mentally noting placements, I use my intuition to get a feeling for the individual charts, synastry overlay, and midpoint composite.
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  #9  
Unread 05-14-2017, 05:02 PM
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Re: Who we think is good for us and who actually is.

All I can say, is after 40 years of marriage (20 years each with my ex and my husband) plus a long-term boyfriend in my youth-- is that if you truly fall in love with someone, this won't involve advance astrological planning. It won't involve astrological analysis of who you think you are. After a while, if the relationship develops and persists, those rosy dreams will give way to the concrete realities of forging a relationship with another human being who is not on the planet to fit our pictures.

This is actually a fairly crummy thing to do to another person.

I married my ex-husband prior to learning any astrology. It so happened that our suns are trined and our moons are in an out-of-sign conjunction. Ultimately this wasn't enough to sustain the relationship. I fell in love with my husband prior to checking his horoscope, but our synastry turned out to be really good.

Both times of falling in love were extremely intense experiences: when the freight train has left the station, you can't stop it.

There is a saying, "Let go and let God." And a lot of cynicism of Neptunian soul-mate beliefs.

Inanna wrote:

Quote:
As I have 8th house in Gemini like I said, their Sun must fall into my 7th or 8th. I'm a Scorpio ASC with Pluto in 1st squaring my Venus, so their energy here makes me feel comfortable, I can talk with them about deep, secretive, mysterious things, taboos, to open my mind and they will understand me. Then that "cold" Gemini Venus could fall there too, even to touch my SN and Vertex, it can only mean to bring love and in 8th house deep emotions and sexual attraction, there could be that Scorpio energy, not 5th house thing, fun and play, but true connection, it could also trine my Venus. Now what about that Libra placements, what if Gemini has Libra Moon. His Moon can fall into my 11th house, very very harmonic, positive placement, my Aquarius Venus will find this nice. And not to be all air, he must have some water cause of my other planet positions. Maybe Cancer Mars would be fine for Gemini, or Mercury in Cancer as Mercury is always like Venus near Sun, or both Mercury and Mars, as they would fall into my 9th house probably and we would share similar spiritual views, philosophy of life, and travel together (I love to travel a lot). So maybe here Cancer would spread that Cancerian energy but in positive way, give to Gemini a bit of water but not dramatic personality.
__________________
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.

Last edited by waybread; 05-14-2017 at 05:07 PM.
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